"Yes, but what"s going to happen to you?"
"That"s become rather more difficult to answer than it used to be." She rose from her chair. "But now I"m going in, to beg the General"s pardon for having been so naughty."
She stood there before him, slim, almost vague, in the soft darkness.
Her black gown was a darker spot on the gloom; her face and shoulders gleamed white, her brows and the line of her red lips seemed black, and black, too, the eyes with which she regarded him, half-loving, still half-ridiculing, from across the gulf that parted them. He made a quick impulsive step towards her, putting out his arms. It seemed to him that hers came out to meet them; at least she did not retreat. With a sigh and a shiver she yielded herself to his embrace. "I"m half sorry it"s so utterly impossible all round," she whispered.
After his pa.s.sionate kiss the man let her go and drew back. "Now I"m thoroughly ashamed of myself," he said.
"Oh, my dear, you needn"t be. Here we are, two small puzzled things, together on this beautiful night for just a little while, and then a long way from one another for ever! And we"ve done nothing very dreadful. Just what you like in me has kissed me, and just what I like in you has kissed you, and wished you G.o.d-speed, and been sorry for the trouble I"ve made, and told you how much I hope for you and your dear regiment. I"m glad you did it, and I"m glad I did it. Surely it makes us friends for always that our lips have met like that?"
"I"ll give it all up if you ask me, Winnie."
"No, no. I"ve been learning to think how one will feel about things to-morrow. Forget you said that. You don"t really mean it."
He stood silent for a moment. "No, I didn"t really mean it. I beg your pardon."
"I bear you no malice. I liked you to think it for just a minute. It"s all over." She smiled rea.s.suringly. "But I shall remember--and like to remember. Everything of me won"t leave you, nor everything of you leave me now, to-morrow--not absolutely everything. Well, it never does, with people you"ve met intimately, I think. But what you leave to me is all good. I was getting hard. This glimpse of you as you really are has stopped it. Dear friend, kiss me once again, and so good-bye."
Very gently now he kissed her lips again--for it was her lips she gave him in a perfect confidence.
"Let"s go in now," said Winnie, putting her arm through his.
They sauntered slowly through the fragrant garden. The night was still; no envious wind disturbed the island"s rest. Merriam, deeply moved, but now master of himself, did not speak, but once or twice gently pressed the hand that lay on his arm. With Winnie there was a sense of sadness, yet also of peace. She had made a friend, and now was to lose him--yet not wholly. And, in winning him, she had won back herself also, and had done with the Miss Wilson who had been flouting and flirting these last few days, with intentions none too kind and manners none too good; she was again trying to understand, to be fair, to strike a true balance between herself and other people.
"You"re very different from the others," she said suddenly; "but, somehow, you"re helping me to be more just to them too." She gave a little sigh. "But justice is most awfully difficult. It"s really much more comfortable to believe that there"s absolutely nothing to be said for people. You believe that about a lot of people, don"t you? You"d believe it about my friend d.i.c.k Dennehy, I expect, who wants to have Ireland independent, and to destroy the monarchy, and put down the army and navy, and all that sort of thing. Yet he"s one of the greatest gentlemen."
"Then I"d hang him, but I"d shake hands with him first," said the Major.
"Rather like what he"s done to me!" thought Winnie to herself; but Merriam did not read the meaning of the glance, the smile, and the gentle pressure on his arm.
"But he"s got his regiment too!" she went on. Then, glancing up at her companion, she saw that he was not heeding her words, and the rest of her meditation over the parallel was conducted in silence.
The General was not to be found that night--he had retreated to his own quarters in the annex. Winnie said her farewell to him on the balcony after breakfast the next morning, as they stood and looked at the big hull of the liner in the roadstead; she was to start in a couple of hours" time.
"Have you forgiven me, General? Will you say good-bye to me? I said good-bye to your son last night."
"He"ll be gone before you get back to England. He told me something about last night. You"re friends, he and you, now? And, of course, my dear, you and I. And we shall meet."
The ship sent out a warning hoot. "Come on, if you"re coming," she seemed to say.
"But he and I shan"t meet. I"m so glad we have met--just for an hour once."
The funny little man, "Dolly," fussed on to the balcony, monstrously enc.u.mbered with impedimenta--a rug, a "nest" of wicker baskets, a cap and a pair of shoes of the country, a huge bunch of bananas, and a specimen of sugar cane. The ship hooted again, and he made a hurried rush up to Winnie.
"Good-bye, Miss Wilson, good-bye," he said, dropping half a dozen things on the floor in order to give her a handshake. "I"ve got something for everybody, I think. I won--yes, I won--last night, and I went down to the town early and bought these presents."
"How fine! Good-bye, Mr. Wigram. Tell all the truth you can, won"t you?"
He put his head on one side, in a comical seriousness. "I"ve been thinking--since I talked to you, Miss Wilson--that my senior cla.s.s could stand a little." Another hoot! "Oh, good-bye!" he exclaimed, in an extraordinary fl.u.s.ter, as he picked up the things he had dropped, and made a bolt for the stairs. Winnie watched him running down the steps that led through the garden to the landing-stage.
"I think the senior cla.s.s can stand a little, don"t you, General?"
"You"re over-young to be in it, my dear."
She turned to him. "I"m not unhappy, and I don"t reckon myself unfortunate, because I think that, to some extent at least, I can learn.
The only really unhappy people are people who can"t learn at all, I think. Fancy going through it all and learning absolutely nothing!"
A longer, more insistent hoot! Bertie Merriam sauntered on to the balcony. No observer would have guessed that the hoot meant anything to him or that he had any farewell to make. The General held out his hand to Winnie. "I"ll take the steps gently--Bertie can overtake me. _Au revoir_, Miss Winnie, in London!"
Bertie Merriam came to her. "You slept well?" he asked.
"Oh yes. Why not? I was so at peace. Say nothing this morning. We said good-bye last night."
"Yes, I know, but----" He was obviously embarra.s.sed. "But I want to ask you one thing. It"ll seem jolly absurd, I know, and rather conceited."
"Will it?" asked Winnie, with bright eyes glistening.
"Well, if there should be any little row in India--I know people at home don"t take much notice of them--any little expedition or anything of that kind, could you keep your eye on it? Because we might have the luck to be in it, and I should like you to know how the regiment shows up."
"If you"ve the luck to be getting killed, I"ll read about it," said Winnie. She smiled with trembling lips. "It"s really the least I can do for a friend, Major Merriam."
"Killed? Oh, rot! Just see first how near to full strength we turn out--that"s my great test--and then, if you read of any other fellows showing us the way, you might let me know, and I"ll inquire about it--because we don"t reckon to let it happen very often. Hullo, that whistle really sounds as if she meant business!" He gripped her hand tightly and looked into her eyes. "Here"s the end, Winnie!"
"I wouldn"t have had it not happen; would you?"
"I shall often wonder if I did right."
She smiled. "You needn"t. What you did would have made no difference--only you"d have been a little less loyal to your duty."
"I wish I knew what was going to become of you."
"I"m not afraid any more. G.o.d bless you, dear."
He waited one moment longer. "You"ve no grudge against me?"
Winnie turned sharply away, and leant over the balcony. "Oh, please, please!" she stammered.
When she saw him again, he was half-way down to the landing-stage. He turned, waved his hand, and so pa.s.sed out of sight--and out of life for Winnie Maxon.
CHAPTER XXV
"PERHAPS!"
"Good gracious!" exclaimed Mrs. Ladd, laying down her knife and fork.