It was not that he had conceived any pa.s.sionate love for Mabel. An amiable, steady, rather colourless girl, and (as Amy Ledstone said) not very pretty, she was hardly likely to engender that. He had not for her--and probably never could have--the torrent of feeling which carried him off his feet at Shaylor"s Patch, and made him dare everything because of Winnie"s bidding. And he was still very fond of Winnie herself. But the pull of the world--of his old world--was strong upon him; Mabel embodied it. Bob Purnett had been right about him; in his scheme of life, after the gaieties of youth, came "settling down." And when it came to seeing things as they were, when the blurring mists of pa.s.sion lifted, he found it impossible to feel that life with Winnie was settling down at all. Life with Winnie--was that being settled, tranquil, serene, ready to look anybody in the face? No, it was still to be irregular, to have secrets, to be unable to tell people with whom you spent your time. It was neither one thing nor the other; it was the bond, without the guerdon, of service, it was defiance without the pleasures of lawlessness.
Covertly, persistently, let it in justice be added lovingly, his mother and father worked upon him. The old pair showed diplomacy; they made no direct attack on Winnie nor upon his present mode of life; they only tried to let him see what a much pleasanter mode of life was open to him, and what joy he would give those who loved him best in the world if only he would adopt it. Bringing grey hairs with sorrow to the grave--not a pleasant thing for a son to feel that he is doing! Without scruple they used Mabel Thurseley in their game; without scruple they risked the girl"s happiness; their duty, as they saw it, was to their son, and they thought of him only. Mabel had no throng of suitors and none of the arts of a coquette. The good-looking young man soon made his impression, and soon perceived that he had made it. All looked easy, and this time really straightforward. It was a powerful a.s.sault to which he exposed himself when he once again began to frequent Woburn Square.
Amy Ledstone looked on, irritable, fretful, in scorn of herself, calling herself a traitor for having told Winnie of Mabel, and a coward for not daring to tell Mabel about Winnie. But she dared not. A lifelong habit of obedience, a lifelong custom of accepting parental wisdom even when she chafed under it, the tyranny of that weak heart, were too much for her. She lacked the courage to break away, to upset the family scheme.
And to work actively for Winnie was surely a fearful responsibility, however strongly she might pity her? To work for Winnie was, in the end, to range herself on the side of immorality. Let Winnie work for herself!
She was warned now--that was enough and more than enough. Yet Amy"s sympathy made her cold and irritable to her brother. He misconstrued the cause of her att.i.tude, setting it down to a violent disapproval of Winnie and a championship of Mabel Thurseley. The old people petted, Amy kept him at arm"s length, but to G.o.dfrey their end and purpose seemed to be the same.
"Winnie doesn"t realize what I go through for her," he often thought to himself, when his sister was cross, when his mother said good-bye to him with tears in her eyes, when his father wrung his hand in expressive silence, when he manfully made himself less agreeable than he knew how to be to Mabel Thurseley.
Yet--and the fact was significant--in spite of all, it was with a holiday feeling that, after seeing Winnie off to Shaylor"s Patch, he packed his bag and repaired home--he thought of Woburn Square as home.
He was greeted with great joy.
"Fancy having you with us for two whole days!" said his mother.
"Like old times!" exclaimed his father, beaming with smiles on the hearthrug.
The theatre had been arranged for. Mrs. Ledstone"s health forbade her being a member of the party, but Mr. Ledstone was ready for an outing.
Amy would go; and Mabel Thurseley had been invited to complete the quartette. Amy looked after her father, to G.o.dfrey fell the duty of squiring Miss Thurseley. They had good seats in the dress-circle; Mr.
Ledstone, Amy, Mabel, G.o.dfrey--that was the order of sitting. The play was a capital farce. They all got into high spirits, even Amy forgetting to chide herself and content to be happy. Mabel"s life was not rich in gaiety; she responded to its stimulus readily. Her cheeks glowed, her eyes grew bright and challenging. She made a new appeal to G.o.dfrey.
"I can"t let her think me a fool." So he excused his attentions and his pleasure in them.
"I suppose you go a lot to the theatre, don"t you?" she asked. "I expect you"re _blase_!"
"No, I don"t go much."
"Why not? Don"t you care about going alone?"
"Now why do you a.s.sume I need go alone?"
"No, of course you needn"t! How silly of me! Do you ever take--ladies?"
She was roguish over this question.
"Yes, now and then."
"Mamma wouldn"t let me go alone with a man."
"Oh, we don"t ask mamma. We just go."
"Do you go out somewhere every evening?"
"Oh no. I often stay at home, and read--or work."
He had said nothing untrue, but it was all one big lie, what he was saying--a colossal misrepresentation of his present life. The picture his last answer raised in her mind--the man alone in his lonely room, reading or working! Poor man, all alone!
"We girls get into the way of thinking that bachelors are always gay, but I suppose they"re not?"
"Indeed they"re not." G.o.dfrey"s answer was decisive and rather grim.
"Or else," she laughed, "they"d never want to marry, would they?"
"Anyhow, one gets tired of gaiety and wants something better." His eyes rested on hers for a moment. She blushed a little; and the curtain rose on the second act.
"How your mother adores you!" she began at the next interval. "She"d die for you, I think. She says you"re the best son in the world, and have never given her any trouble."
G.o.dfrey"s conscience suffered a twinge--no less for his mother than for himself.
"I"m afraid mothers don"t know all about their sons, always."
"No, I suppose not. But there are some people you know you can trust."
"Come, I say, you"re making me out too perfect by half!"
She laughed. "Oh, I don"t accuse you of being a milksop. I don"t like milksops, Mr. G.o.dfrey."
So she went on, innocently showing her interest and her preference, and in the process making G.o.dfrey feel that his family and himself were accomplices in a great and heinous conspiracy. But there was still time to get out of it, to put an end to it. There were two ways out of it, just two and no more, thought G.o.dfrey. Either she must be told, or there must cease to be anything to tell her.
But the sternest moralist would hardly demand that momentous decisions and heart-rending avowals should be made on Christmas Day. That surely is a close time? So thought G.o.dfrey Ledstone, and, the religious observances of the day having been honoured by all the family, the rest of it pa.s.sed merrily in Woburn Square. The Thurseleys, mother and daughter, came to spend the afternoon, and came again to dinner.
"So good of you to take pity on us," said Mrs. Thurseley, a soft-voiced pleasant woman, who was placid and restful, and said the right thing.
She would make an excellent mother-in-law--for some man.
Like the old-fashioned folk they were, they had a snapdragon and plenty of mistletoe and plenty of the usual jokes about both. As there was n.o.body else on whom the jokes could plausibly be fastened (Mr.
Ledstone"s reminiscences of his own courting tended towards the sentimental, while the subject was, of course, too tender in widowed Mrs. Thurseley"s case), they were naturally pointed at Mabel and G.o.dfrey. Mabel laughed and blushed. Really G.o.dfrey had to play his part; he could not look a fool, who did not know how to flirt. He ended by flirting pretty hard. He had his reward in the beams of the whole circle--except Amy. She seemed rather out of humour that Christmas; she pleaded a headache for excuse. When Mrs. Ledstone said good-night to her son, she embraced him with agitated affection, and whispered: "I feel happier than I"ve done for a long while, G.o.dfrey darling."
This was the pressure, the a.s.sault, of love--love urgent and now grown hopeful. But his Christmas was not to end on that note. There was also the pressure of disapproval and of scorn. Neither was easy to bear to a disposition at once affectionate and pliable.
The old people went to bed. Amy stayed, watching her brother light his pipe.
"Not going to bed, Amy? One pipe, and I"m off!"
"What do you think you"re doing?"
He turned from the fire, smiling in his disarming way. "I"ve known all the evening I was going to catch it from you, Amy. I saw it in your eye.
But what can a fellow do? He must play up a bit. I haven"t actually said anything."
"What does Mabel think?" There was a formidable directness about her.
But he had his answer, his defence to what he supposed to be the whole indictment.
"Come now, be fair. I wanted to tell her--well, I wanted her to have a hint given her. I told the mater so, but the mater wouldn"t hear of it.
The bare idea sent her all--well, absolutely upset her."
The events of the day and the two evenings had affected Amy Ledstone.
"You wanted to tell her? Her? Which?"
"Good Lord, Amy!" He was knocked out. What a question to be asked in Woburn Square! "Which?" Had they both rights? Strange doctrine, indeed, for Woburn Square.
"I was speaking of Miss Thurseley, and I think you knew it."