"And the one hundred thousand dollars--how do you propose to get that?"
I demanded.
"I shall give a lawn-fete and bazaar for the benefit of the fund. It will differ from Mrs. Rockerbilt"s tea in that I shall charge ten dollars admission, ten dollars to get out, and we shall sell things besides. I have already spoken to Mrs. Gaster about it and she is delighted with the idea. She has promised to stock the flower table with the cream of her conservatories. Mrs. Rockerbilt has volunteered to take charge of the refreshments. The d.u.c.h.ess of Snarleyow is dressing a doll that is to be named by Senator Defew and raffled at five dollars a guess. Mrs. Gushington-Andrews is to take entire control of the fancy knick-knack table, where we shall sell gold match-boxes, solid silver automobile head-lights, cigar-cutters, c.o.c.ktail-shakers, and other necessities of life among the select. I don"t see how the thing can fail, do you?"
"Not so far," said I.
"Each of the twelve lady patronesses has promised to be responsible for the sale of a hundred tickets of admission at ten dollars apiece--that makes twelve thousand dollars in admissions. It will cost each person ten dollars more to get out, which, if only half of the tickets are used, will be six thousand dollars--or eighteen thousand dollars in entrance and exit fees alone."
"Henriette!" I cried, enthusiastically, "Madam Humbert was an amateur alongside of you."
Mrs. Van Raffles smiled. "Thank you, Bunny," said she. "If I"d only been a man--"
"Gad!" I e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed. "Wall Street would have been an infant in your hands."
Well, the fateful day came. Henriette, to do her justice, had herself spared no pains or expense to make the thing a success. I doubt if the gardens of the Constant-Sc.r.a.ppes ever looked so beautiful. There were flowers everywhere, and hanging from tree to tree from one end of their twenty acres to the other were long and graceful garlands of multicolored electric lights that when night came down upon the fete made the scene appear like a veritable glimpse of fairyland. Everybody that is anybody was there, with a mult.i.tude of others who may always be counted upon to pay well to see their names in print or to get a view of society at close range. Of course there was music of an entrancing sort, the numbers being especially designed to touch the flintiest of hearts, and Henriette was everywhere. No one, great or small, in that vast gathering but received one of her gracious smiles, and it is no exaggeration to say that half of the flowers purchased at rates that would make a Fifth Avenue tailor hang his head in shame, were bought by the gallant gentlemen of Newport for presentation to the hostess of the day. These were immediately placed on sale again so that on the flower account the receipts were perceptibly swelled.
A more festal occasion has never been known even in this festal environment. The richest of the land vied with one another in making the affair a vast financial success. The ever gallant Tommy Dare left the scene twenty times for the mere privilege of paying his way in and out that many times over at ten dollars each way. The doll which Senator Defew had named was also the cause of much merriment, since when all was over and some thirteen thousand five hundred dollars had been taken in for guesses, it was found that the senator had forgotten the name he had given it. When the laughter over this incident had subsided, Henriette suggested that it be put up at auction, which plan was immediately followed out, with the result that the handiwork of the d.u.c.h.ess of Snarleyow was knocked down for eight thousand six hundred and seventy-five dollars to a Cincinnati brewer who had been trying for eight years to get his name into the Social Register.
"Thank goodness, that"s over," said Henriette when the last guest had gone and the lights were out. "It has been a very delightful affair, but towards the end it began to get on my nerves. I am really appalled, Bunny, at the amount of money we have taken in."
"Did you get the full one hundred thousand dollars?" I asked.
"Full hundred thousand?" she cried, hysterically. "Listen to this." And she read the following memorandum of the day"s receipts:
Flower Table $36,000.00 Doll 22,175.00 Admissions 19,260.00 Exits 17,500.00 Candy Table 12,350.00 Supper Table 43,060.00 Knick-Knacks 17,380.00 Book Table 123.30 Coat Checks 3,340.00 ----------- Total $171,188.30
"Great Heavens, what a haul!" I cried. "But how much did you spend yourself?"
"Oh--about twenty thousand dollars, Bunny--I really felt I could afford it. We"ll net not less than one hundred and fifty thousand."
I was suddenly seized with a chill.
"The thing scares me, Henriette," I murmured. "Suppose these people ask you next winter for a report?"
"Oh," laughed Henriette, "I shall immediately turn the money over to the fund. You can send me a receipt and that will let us out. Later on you can return the money to me."
"Even then--" I began.
"Tush, Bunny," said she. "There isn"t going to be any even then. Six months from now these people will have forgotten all about it. It"s a little way they have. Their memory for faces and the money they spend is shorter than the purse of a bankrupt. Have no fear."
And, as usual, Henriette was right, for the next February when the beneficiaries of the Winter Fresh-Air Fund spent a month at Palm Beach, enjoying the best that favored spot afforded in the way of entertainment and diversion, not a word of criticism was advanced by anybody, although the party consisted solely of Mrs. Van Raffles, her maid, and Bunny, her butler. In fact, the contrary was the truth. The people we met while there, many of whom had contributed most largely to the fund, welcomed us with open arms, little suspecting how intimately connected they were with our sources of supply.
Mrs. Gaster, it is true, did ask Henriette how the Winter Fresh-Air Fund was doing and was told the truth--that it was doing very well.
"The beneficiaries did very well here," said Henriette.
"I have seen nothing of them," observed Mrs. Gaster.
"Well--no," said Henriette. "The managers thought it was better to send them here before the season was at its height. The moral influences of Palm Beach at the top of the season are--well--a trifle strong for the young--don"t you think?" she explained.
The tin-type I hand you will give you some idea of how much one of the beneficiaries enjoyed himself. There is nothing finer in the world than surf bathing in winter.
VII
THE ADVENTURE OF MRS. ROCKERBILT"S TIARA
Henriette had been unwontedly reserved for a whole week, a fact which was beginning to get sadly on my nerves when she broke an almost Sphinxlike silence with the extraordinary remark:
"Bunny, I am sorry, but I don"t see any other way out of it. You must get married."
To say that I was shocked by the observation is putting it mildly. As you must by this time have realized yourself, there was only one woman in the world that I could possibly bring myself to think fondly of, and that woman was none other than Henriette herself. I could not believe, however, that this was at all the notion she had in mind, and what little poise I had was completely shattered by the suggestion.
I drew myself up with dignity, however, in a moment and answered her.
"Very well, dear," I said. "Whenever you are ready I am. You must have banked enough by this time to be able to support me in the style to which I am accustomed."
"That is not what I meant, Bunny," she retorted, coldly, frowning at me.
"Well, it"s what _I_ mean," said I. "You are the only woman I ever loved--"
"But, Bunny dear, that can come later," said she, with a charming little blush. "What I meant, my dear boy, was not a permanent affair but one of these Newport marriages. Not necessarily for publication, but as a guarantee of good faith," she explained.
"I don"t understand," said I, affecting denseness, for I understood only too well.
"Stupid!" cried Henriette. "I need a confidential maid, Bunny, to help us in our business, and I don"t want to take a third party in at random.
If you had a wife I could trust her. You could stay married as long as we needed her, and then, following the Newport plan, you could get rid of her and marry me later--that is--er--provided I was willing to marry you at all, and I am not so sure that I shall not be some day, when I am old and toothless."
"I fail to see the necessity for a maid of that kind," said I.
"That"s because you are a man, Bunny," said Henriette. "There are splendid opportunities for acquiring the gems these Newport ladies wear by one who may be stationed in the dressing-room. There is Mrs.
Rockerbilt"s tiara, for instance. It is at present the finest thing of its kind in existence and of priceless value. When she isn"t wearing it it is kept in the vaults of the Tiverton Trust Company, and how on earth we are to get it without the a.s.sistance of a maid we can trust I don"t see--except in the vulgar, commonplace way of sandbagging the lady and brutally stealing it, and Newport society hasn"t quite got to the point where you can do a thing like that to a woman without causing talk, unless you are married to her."
"Well, I"ll tell you one thing, Henriette," I returned, with more positiveness than I commonly show, "I will not marry a lady"s maid, and that"s all there is about it. You forget that I am a gentleman."
"It"s only a temporary arrangement, Bunny," she pleaded. "It"s done all the time in the smart set."
"Well, the morals of the smart set are not my morals," I retorted. "My father was a clergyman, Henriette, and I"m something of a churchman myself, and I won"t stoop to such baseness. Besides, what"s to prevent my wife from blabbing when we try to ship her?"
"H"m!" mused Henriette. "I hadn"t thought of that--it would be dangerous, wouldn"t it?"
"Very," said I. "The only safe way out of it would be to kill the young woman, and my religious scruples are strongly against anything of the sort. You must remember, Henriette, that there are one or two of the commandments that I hold in too high esteem to break them."
"Then what shall we do, Bunny?" demanded Mrs. Van Raffles. "_I must have that tiara._"