It bit deep, as he had known it would. If he had struck a knife into his friend"s heart he could not have caused so sharp a hurt. Leaver turned white under this surgery of speech, and for an instant he looked as if he would have sprung at Burns"s throat. There followed sixty silent seconds while both men stood like statues. But the merciless judgment had turned the scale. With a control of himself which struck Burns, as he recalled it afterward, as marvellous, Leaver answered evenly: "You shall not have the chance to say that again. I will operate when you think best."
"Thank G.o.d!" said Red Pepper Burns, under his breath.
The two walked out of the little white room, with its austere and absolute cleanliness, without another word concerning that which was to come. Burns took his friend over the house, and Leaver looked into room after room, approving, commending, even suggesting, quite as if nothing had happened. And yet, after all, not quite as if nothing had happened.
He was not the same man who had come out to Sunny Farm an hour before.
Burns knew, as well as if he could have seen into Leaver"s mind, the conflict that was going on there. The thing was settled, he would not retreat, yet there was still a fight to be fought--the biggest fight of his life. On its issue was to depend the success or failure of the coming test. Burns"s warm heart would have led him to speak sympathetically and encouragingly of the issue to be met; his understanding of the crisis it precipitated kept him mute. Whatever help he was now to give his friend must be given, not through speech but through silence, and by that subtler means of communication between spirit and spirit which cannot be a.n.a.lyzed or understood, but which may be more real than anything in life.
They went downstairs, presently, and rejoined the party. Miss Ruston and Miss Mathewson, Mr. James Macauley and his son Tom, with Bobby Burns, were engaged in a spirited game of "puss in a corner," for the benefit of Patsy Kelly, who lay looking on from his chair with sparkling, excited eyes. Beside Jamie Ferguson, who could not see, Mrs. Burns sat, describing to him the game and interpreting the shouts of laughter which reached his ears as he lay, too flat upon his back to see what was happening twenty feet away.
Ellen looked up, as her husband approached, and something in his face made her regard him intently. He smiled at her, his hazel eyes dark as they often were when something had stirred him deeply, and she guessed enough of the meaning of this aspect to keep her from looking at Dr.
Leaver until he had been for some time upon the porch.
When she did observe him, he was standing, leaning against a pillar and looking at the wan little face below her, from a point at which Jamie could not know of his scrutiny. His back was turned upon the game upon the gra.s.s, though the others were watching it. When it ended Burns called Charlotte Ruston to the taking of the photographs he wanted--snapshots of the two little patients carried into the full sunlight. This being quickly accomplished, he announced his own immediate departure.
"Will you go back with me in the Imp, or at your leisure with the crowd in the car?" Burns asked Leaver, in an undertone. "My wife will be glad to go in either car; she suggested your taking your choice."
"If the Macauleys will not misunderstand, I should prefer to go with you," Leaver replied.
"They won"t. Two medicine-men are supposed always to wish for a chance to hobn.o.b, and we"ll put it on that score. I really want to consult you about Patsy"s case."
"Not going with us? Willing to forsake three fair ladies for one red-headed fiend, just because you know he"s going to give us his dust?
I like that!" cried Macauley, who could be trusted never to make things easy for his friends.
"Abuse him as you like. He"s off with me at my request," called Burns, pulling out into the road and turning with a sweep.
Martha Macauley looked after the Green Imp"s rapidly lessening shape through the dust-cloud which it left behind. "I never thought till to-day that Dr. Leaver seemed the least bit like a noted surgeon," said she, as they waited for Macauley to get his car underway. "I could never imagine his acting like Red, and rushing enthusiastically from bedside to operating-room, pushing everything out of his way to make time to cut somebody to pieces and sew him up again, for his ultimate good. But to-day somehow, he seemed more--what would you call it--professional?"
"That"s the word," her husband agreed. "It"s the word they juggle with.
If a thing"s "professional," it"s all right. If it"s not, it may as well be condemned to outer darkness at once."
CHAPTER XIII
A CRISIS
"Little wife?"
"Yes, Redfield Pepper--"
"I"m as nervous as a cat up a tree with a couple of dogs at the foot!"
"Why, Red, I never heard you talk of being nervous! What does it mean?"
"An operation to-morrow."
"But you never are "nervous," dear."
"I am now."
"Is it such a critical one?"
"The most critical I ever faced."
Ellen looked at her husband, or tried to look, for they were moving slowly along the street, at a late hour, Burns having suggested a short walk before bedtime. It was quite dark, and Ellen could judge only by her husband"s voice that he spoke with entire soberness.
"Can you tell me anything about it?" she suggested, knowing that relief from tension sometimes comes with speech. Any confession of nervousness from Red Pepper Burns seemed to her most extraordinary. She knew that he often worked under tremendous tension, but he had never before admitted shakiness of nerve.
"Not much, if anything at all. It"s a particularly private affair, for the present. It"s a queer operation, too. I may not handle a knife, tie an artery, or st.i.tch up a wound--may do less than I ever did in my life on such an occasion, yet--I"ll be hanged if I"m not feeling as owly about it as if it were the first time I ever expected to see blood."
Ellen put her hand on his arm, slipped it into the curve, and kept it there, while he held it pressed close against him. "Red, have you been working too hard lately?" she asked.
"Not a bit. I"m fit as a fiddler. Don"t worry, love. I"ve no business to talk riddles to you, of all people. But for a peculiar reason I"m horribly anxious about the outcome of to-morrow"s experiment, and had to work it off somehow. Just promise me that when you say your prayers to-night you"ll ask the good G.o.d not to let me be mistaken in forcing a situation I may not be able to control."
"I will," Ellen promised, with all her heart, for she saw that, whatever the crisis might be, it was one to which her usually daring husband was looking forward with most uncharacteristic dread.
She was conscious that Burns spent a restless night. At daybreak he was up and out of the house. Before he went, however, he bent over her and kissed her with great tenderness, murmuring, "A prayer or two more, darling, won"t hurt anything, when you are awake enough. I"ve particular faith in your pet.i.tions."
She held him with both arms.
"Don"t worry, Red. It isn"t like you. You will succeed, if it is to be."
"It"s got to be," he said between his teeth, as he left her.
He swallowed a cup of Cynthia"s hot coffee--bespoken the night before, as on many similar occasions--and ran out to his car just as the slow September sunrise broke into the eastern sky. In two minutes more he was off in the Imp, flying out the road to Sunny Farm.
Arrived there he astonished Miss Dodge, the nurse in charge, who was not accustomed to Dr. Burns"s ways. He had left the small patient, Jamie Ferguson, the night before, entirely satisfied with his condition for undergoing the operation set for nine o"clock this morning. He now went once more painstakingly over every detail of the preparation he had ordered, making sure for himself that nothing had been omitted.
Then he called for Miss Mathewson, who had spent the night at the Farm.
She was to a.s.sist Leaver as she was accustomed to a.s.sist Burns. He took her off by herself and addressed her solemnly, more solemnly than he had ever done.
"Amy, if you ever had your wits on call, have them this morning. In all my life I never cared more how things went at a time like this. I care so much I"d give about all I own to know this minute that the thing would go through."
"Why, Dr. Burns," said she, in astonishment, "it should go through. It is a critical operation, of course, but the boy seems in very fair shape for it, and Dr. Leaver has done it before. Dr. Leaver is quite well now--"
"I know, I know. Feel of that!"
He touched her hand with his own, which was icy cold. She started, and looked anxiously at him.
"Doctor, you can"t be well! This isn"t you--to be so--nervous! Why, think of all the operations you"ve done, and never a sign of minding. And this isn"t even your responsibility--it"s Dr. Leaver"s."
"That"s right, scold me," said he, trying to laugh. "It"s what I need.
I"m showing the white feather, a hatful of them. But you"re mistaken about one thing. It _is_ my responsibility, every detail of it. Don"t forget that. If the case goes wrong, it"s my fault, not Dr. Leaver"s."
Then he walked away, leaving Miss Mathewson utterly dumbfounded. She understood perfectly that Dr. John Leaver had suffered a severe breakdown from overwork, and that this was his first test since his recovery. But she knew nothing of the peculiar circ.u.mstances of his last appearance in an operating-room, and could therefore have no possible notion of the crisis this morning"s work was to be to him. She did know enough, however, to be deeply interested in the outcome, and she watched the Green Imp flying down the road toward home with the sense that when it returned it would bear two surgeons for whom she must do the best work of support in her life.
"Ready, Jack?"