"Surely! surely! I remember Mr. b.u.t.ters well, but I cannot recall his having attended a prayer-meeting during my inc.u.mbency in Elm--I would say Quahaug."
Seth chuckled. "No more you would," he said. "No more he did. "Twas before you come, in Mr. Peake"s time. Elder Peake, he was a good man; I"ve nothin" to say against him; he meant well, every time. But he was one of those kind o" men, he had his two-foot rule in his pants pocket, and, if you squared with that, you was all right, and, if you didn"t, you was all wrong. Now some folks is like a two-foot rule, and some is like a kedge-anchor, and the Lord made "em both, I expect; but Elder Peake, he couldn"t see it that way, and he took it into his head that Uncle Ithe warn"t doin" as he should. Old Uncle Ithe--I dono! he had a kind o" large way with him, as you might say; swore some, and made too free with Scripture, some thought; did pretty much as he was a mind to, but cal"lated to live square, and so did--"cordin" to his idees, and mine. You might say Uncle Ithe was like--wal, like this hammer. He couldn"t rule a straight line, mebbe, but he"d hit the nail every time.
Wal, Elder Peake met up with him one day, and spoke to him about his way of life. "I"d like to see things a trifle different with you, Mr.
b.u.t.ters," he says; "man of your age and standin"," he says, "ought to be an example," he says. You know the way they talk--excuse me, Elder. Some of "em, I would say. Nothin" personal, you understand."
"I understand, Seth; pray go on."
""What do ye mean?" says Uncle Ithe. "What have I been a-doin" of, Elder?"
""Oh, nothin" tangible," says Mr. Peake, "nothin" tangible, Mr.
b.u.t.ters. I hear things now and again that don"t seem just what they should be in regards to your spiritual condition,--man of your age and standin", you understand,--but nothin" tangible, nothin" tangible!" And he waved himself off, a way he had, as if he was tryin" to fly before his time.
"Old Uncle Ithe, he never said a word, only grunted, and worked his eyebrows up and down, the way _he_ had; but come next prayer-meetin", there he was, settin" up in his pew, stiff as a bobstay, with his eye on the elder. Elder Peake was tickled to death to think he"d got the old man out, and when he"d had his own say, he sings out: "Brother b.u.t.ters, we should be pleased to hear a few remarks from you."
"Old Uncle Ithe, he riz up kind o" slow, a j"int at a time, till he stood his full hei"th. Gorry! I can see him now; he seemed to fill the place. He looks square at Elder Peake, and he says: "Darn your old prayer-meetin"!" he says. "There"s somethin" tangible for ye!" he says; and off he stumped out the room, and never set foot in it ag"in. I tell ye, he was a case, old Uncle Ithe."
"I think he was, Seth!" said Mr. Bliss, laughing. "I am rather glad, do you know, that I only knew him later, when age had--in a degree--mellowed his disposition."
At this moment Will Jaquith put his head out of the post-office window.
"Good morning, Mr. Bliss!" he said. "There"s another story about Old Man b.u.t.ters that Seth must tell you, if you have not already heard it,-- about the trouble with his second wife."
Seth twinkled more than ever. "Sho!" he said. "That"s last year"s p"tetters. I make no doubt Elder Bliss has heard that a dozen times."
"Not once, I a.s.sure you, Seth," said Mr. Bliss. "I shall be glad to hear it, and then I really must--" he checked himself. Was not this an opportunity, come to him unsought? Seth Weaver was not as regular at church as could be wished.
"Pray let me hear the anecdote!" he said, heartily. "And yet," he added to himself, "I caution my people against listening to gossip,--life is a tangled skein."
"That was before I was born or thought of," said Seth. "Uncle Ithe"s second wife was Drusilly Sharp (his fust was a Purrington), and she was a Tartar. Gra"m"ther Weaver told me this; she was own sister to Uncle Ithe. Gra"m"ther used to say there warn"t another man under the canopy could have lived with Drusilly Sharp only her brother Ithuriel. As I was sayin" a spell back, he had a kind o" large way of lookin" at things.
Gra"m"ther says to him once: "I don"t see how you stand it, Ithuriel,"
she says. "I don"t stand it," says Uncle Ithe. "I git out from under foot, and wait till the clouds roll by," he says. "Spells she gets out of breath, and them"s the times I come into the kitchen. There"s where a farmer has the pull," he says. "Take a city man, and when he"s in the house he"s in it, and obleeged to stay there. But take a farmer, and, if it"s hot in the kitchen, he"s got the wood-shed, and, when you"re choppin", you can"t hear what she"s sayin"," he says. "Somebody"s got to put up with Drusilly," he says, "and I"m used to it, same as I am red pepper on my hash."
"Wal, one day Uncle Ithe come home, and she warn"t there. He found a note on the dresser, sayin" she warn"t comin" back, she couldn"t stand it no longer. Land knows what _she_ had to stand! She had baked bread and pies, she said (she was a master good cook), and the beans was in the oven, and that was all there was to it, from his truly Drusilly b.u.t.ters.
"Wal, Uncle Ithe studied over it a spell, and then he sot down and _he_ wrote a note, and this was the way it read:
""Whereas my wife Drusilly has left my bed and board while I was down to Tupham diggin" clams, and whereas I never give her reason good for so doin", resolved that all persons is warned to pay no bills of her contractin" from now on; but the cars will run just the same."
"Signed his name out in full, and sent it to the paper. I got it now to home, in Gra"m"ther"s sc.r.a.p-book. Yes, sir, that was Uncle Ithe all over."
"And what was the outcome of it, Seth?" asked Mr. Bliss.
"Oh, she come back! He knew she would. She stayed with her folks a spell, and they reasoned with her; and then she saw the notice in the paper, and that made her so mad she run all the way home. Uncle Ithe was settin" in the kitchen smokin" his pipe, at peace with all mankind, when she run in, all out of breath, and mad as hops. "You take that notice out the paper, Ithuriel b.u.t.ters!" she hollers. "You"re the meanest actin" man ever I see in my life, and the ugliest, and so I"ve come to tell you." And then she couldn"t say another word, she"d run that fast and was that mad.
"Uncle Ithe took his pipe out of his mouth, and turned round and give her a look, and then put it back.
""How do, Drusilly?" he says. "I was lookin" for you," he says. "I"m on the last pie now." And that was every word he said about it, or she, either."
CHAPTER V.
IN MISS PENNY"S SHOP
The Reverend John Bliss walked homeward, revolving many things. Seth"s stories, the vexed question of prayer-meetings, the Second Epistle to the Hebrews, from which his text was taken, Mrs. Tree"s will, and the New England character (Mr. Bliss was a Minnesota man) made an intricate network of thought which so absorbed his mind that his feet carried him whithersoever they would.
"A tangled skein!" he said aloud, shaking his head; "a tangled skein!"
and then he stopped abruptly, looked about him, and began to retrace his steps hurriedly. He had forgotten the pink worsted.
The little minister entered Miss Penny Pardon"s shop with an air of nervous apology, and an inward shiver. He hated women"s shops; he was always afraid of seeing crinoline, or hair-curlers, or some other reprehensibly feminine article.
"Why will they?" he murmured to himself, as even now his unwilling eye lighted on a "Fluffy Fedora." "Why will--oh, good morning, Miss Pardon; a beautiful morning after the rain."
"Good mornin", Mr. Bliss!" said Miss Penny, with a beaming smile.
"You"re quite a stranger, ain"t you? Yes, sir, "tis elegant weather; and the rain, too, so seasonable yesterday. I think weather most always _is_ seasonable right along; far as I"ve noticed, that is. Pleasant to see spring comin", isn"t it, Mr. Bliss? Not but what I"ve enjoyed the winter, too, real well. I think the snow"s real pretty, specially _in_ winter. That"s right; yes, sir, we should be thankful for all. Was there anything I could do for you to-day, Mr. Bliss?"
"Yes! yes, Miss Pardon," said Mr. Bliss, nervously. "I--that is--Mrs.
Bliss desired some pink--pink--worsted, I think it was. Yes, I am quite positive it was pink worsted. Have you the article?"
He looked relieved, and met Miss Penny"s eye almost hardily.
"Worsted, sir? Yes, indeed, we keep it. What kind did she wish, Mr.
Bliss? Single zephyr, do you think it was, or Germantown?"
Miss Penny"s tone was warmly sympathetic; she always felt for gentlemen who came on such errands.
"They feel like a fish on a sidewalk," she would say; "real homesick!"
Mr. Bliss pondered. "I--I think it _was_ a German town," he said, slowly. "I am almost positive it was a German town,--or province; the exact name escapes me. Hanover, perhaps? Na.s.sau? Saxe-Coburg? I incline to think it was Saxe-Coburg, Miss Pardon. Have you the article?"
It was Miss Penny"s turn to look puzzled. "We don"t keep that, sir," she said. "I don"t know as I ever heard of it. All we keep is Germantown and Saxony, and--"
"That is it!" cried the little minister. "Saxony! to be sure! Saxony, of course. And--yes, I have a sample--somewhere!"
He felt in his pockets, and produced a parish circular, a calendar, a note-book, a fishing-line, and finally the envelope containing the sample.
Miss Penny beamed at sight of it. "Yes, sir, we have it," she announced, joyfully.
"Mis" Bliss got it here only last week. How much did she say, Mr.
Bliss?"
"Two pounds," said Mr. Bliss, promptly and decidedly.
"Two--" Miss Penny looked aghast. "Why, we don"t generally--I doubt if we have that much in the store, Mr. Bliss. Was she goin" to make a slumber robe?"
"It was--I think--for an infant"s jacket," Mr. Bliss hazarded, looking sidelong at the door. These things were hard to bear; harder than Marietta knew; yet how gladly should he do it for her, on that very account. He turned an appealing glance on Miss Penny. "An infant"s jacket would not, you think, require two pounds?" he asked.