Chapter 133: Cowardice
Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
When he mentioned the word “repay”, his face was smiling.
She heard too many instances of the story “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”, so Xiang Wan held reservations and was skeptical of his warmth for fear of being teased again.
“What do you want?” Her tone was especially cold.
Bai Muchuan chuckled. “As you wish. I can accept your marriage pledge 1 .”
“… Nonsense!” Xiang Wan rolled her eyes at him and felt gooseb.u.mps all over. She took the scissors calmly, took his hand, and started to cut his sleeve roughly. She cut off the torn portions which was around his elbow, dapped the wounds with alcohol, and gently tore it open…
“Tsk!” When the alcohol touched the wound, he furrowed his eyebrows.
“You can really act!” Xiang Wan now more or less knew some background of his. She believed that since he used to be from the commando unit, he shouldn’t be bothered with such trivial injuries. Thus, she would not believe his exaggerated expression. “Less tricks, more sincerity. Only then can we still be friends.”
Bai Muchuan lowered his head and looked at her carefully cleaning his wound.
She had delicate, pretty facial features; slender white neck; eyelashes fluttering like b.u.t.terfly wings; straight, black hair; and purity like the first breath of fresh air when one walked into the mountains, far away from the haze in a city…
He could not take his eyes off her.
He paused for a while, unable to pull away his sight from her face. “How am I insincere?”
“Everywhere!”
“Teacher Xiang, you can’t generalize a person from a one-sided point of view!”
“Shush—” Xiang Wan raised her head and made a hush gesture. “Knock it off,” she said slowly, “I’ve developed immunity to your words!”
“Oh no!”
Bai Muchuan suddenly took ahold of her arm.
“What are you doing?” Xiang Wan’s hair stood on end due to the physical contact and stared at him sternly.
“But you’re not immune?” The corners of Bai Muchuan’s lips turned upward. “I can clearly see that you have a strong reaction to my words…”
“…”
As a matter of fact, Xiang Wan had carefully a.n.a.lyzed the events over the past few days.
Bai Muchuan’s sudden apathy was certainly strange. If he wasn’t a schizophrenic with bipolar disorder, then the reason he gave was the most reasonable explanation.
Unfortunately, there is a saying that goes like this: once hurt, twice shy.
She took a look at Bai Muchuan and continued to “repay” her savior by treating the wounds.
When a woman and a man were alone in a house, the woman would be no match against the man if she continued to retort and argue with him.
Clever women should know when to back down!
Under the silence, she cleaned the wounds on his arms, and rubbed only a little alcohol upon his strong request.
So all that remained was the knee injury.
Xiang Wan looked at the trousers he was wearing and frowned. “Do you want to cut this as well?”
Bai Muchuan raised an eyebrow with a straight face. “If you cut it, I’ll have no more trousers to wear. Or, I’ll just take it off?”
Xiang Wan: “…”
Her cheeks immediately turned red and glared at him fiercely.
“Will you die if you stop joking around?”
“You have very complicated thinking,” chuckled Bai Muchuan. “Can’t you remove the unnecessary thoughts? If you clean my wounds, you’re no different from a nurse or a doctor. Medical care does not discriminate by age or gender. The patients do not mind whether a male or female doctor or a male or female obstetrician is treating them. Moreover, I only have one knee to get treated.”
Sounds so reasonable!
He knew how to argue to his advantage.
Xiang Wan was thinking if this guy were to write a novel, it would definitely be popular.
A thought suddenly flashed inside her head. She grunted a laugh as if she thought of something funny and placed the scissors on the coffee table. Then, she got up, pointed at the first aid box, and glanced at him from the corner of her eye. “Due to your poor behavior, I don’t want to help you anymore. You do it yourself!”
Bai Muchuan: “…”
This little woman has a temper too , he thought. She went inside her room after saying those words.
“Whether you want to take off your trousers or whether you want to treat your wounds, it’s none of my business!”
Anyway, there were only slight injuries on his knee. She had already treated his wounds on his right arm. How could he not able to treat his knee injuries himself?
Xiang Wan did not give him a chance to joke around. She went inside her bedroom directly and closed the door. Then she turned on her laptop and continue to write her story.
However, although she was sitting in front of her laptop, her heart was not with her.
No matter how indifferent she might have portrayed, that could not erase the traces he had left inside her heart.
Bai Muchuan’s influence on her was different from any other ordinary guy…
She sat in a daze for a while as she thought about her relationship with him as well as the important sentence he had said earlier—that he was trying to protect her. She also wondered if there really was a “manipulator” behind the cases, and what kind of person was that…
Not sure how long it was when he knocked on her bedroom door.
“Xiang Wan.”
His voice always sounded pleasant to the ear.
Xiang Wan turned to look at her bedroom door.
“What’s up?”
“I’m done.”
“Since you’re done, you should go back now.”
With the door in between them, Xiang Wan could control her emotions easier, and her tone was so apathetic that it sounded unfeeling.
Hence, that door did not feel like a door but a layer of protection instead…
“I can’t.” Bai Muchuan sighed.
Xiang Wan was taken aback. “How come?”
“It hurts.”
You’re acting again! Xiang Wan criticized him inside her head.
They were not serious wounds. How could it be so severe?
“It’s true!” Bai Muchuan’s voice sounded weak and pathetic. “I’m feeling dizzy, my chest feels stuffy, and I even feel nauseous.”
The way he put it–she felt that he was just pretending.
Xiang Wan recalled the critical moment when he saved her. Besides seeing him land on the ground, she could not recall anything else. However, from her angle, there was a high possibility that the back of his head could have hit the ground…
D*rn! Could he really have hit his head or something?
Concussion!
A horrible word popped out in her head, making her dazed for a second.
Those social news about “he was fine when he fell, but he died suddenly afterward”. One by one, they started to appear in her head. Xiang Wan did not even hesitate. She got up quickly and opened the door.
“I have to bring you to the hospital…”
But she suddenly paused when she hadn’t even finished her words!
Oh heavens! Is Bai Muchuan a devil?
He had cut his trousers and shirt, transforming them into a set of very harmonious and fashionable leisure wear. The exposed muscles of his arms and calves accentuated his masculinity.
Xiang Wan was at a loss at where she should look.
Getting along with men was her weakness.
Even though she had read a lot of romance fiction, they could only offer advice in the theoretical aspect. She would still need practical experience to order improve in this area.
“You… Are you cold?”
“I’m cold!” Bai Muchuan nodded his head. “I’m dizzy too…”
“Then go to the hospital.”
“No!”
“But…”
“I want to take a rest.”
Xiang Wan pointed at the sofa, but he pointed at her bed.
“I want to borrow that!”
What? Xiang Wan blushed again.
“Bai Muchuan, you’re deliberate, right?”
“Xiang Wan, do you have compa.s.sion for your fellow comrade?”
“…”
Xiang Wan thought she must have been brainwashed. Otherwise, why did the moment when she saw his gentle line of sight, she would think of him as a hurt little kitten waiting to be loved? She felt like giving him a pat and could not bring herself to chase him out of the house?
“The sofa is the same as the bed!” she persisted, speaking in a weak voice. For the sake of compa.s.sion for her fellow comrade, she explained, “I’m not used to let others sleep on my bed!”
“Liar!” Bai Muchuan looked at her coldly.
When did she lie? Xiang Wan did mean it.
Bai Muchuan immediately exposed her. “Didn’t Fang Yuanyuan sleep on your bed?”
“…” Xiang Wan almost broke out in laughter hearing that. “How can this be the same? She’s a female.”
“I’m a patient! Can’t you cast the gender aside?”
“…”
Xiang Wan was speechless.
She counted herself unlucky but still insisted on her rule.
Bai Muchuan grunted with a grim expression. He did not insist further and let her help him over to the sofa and lied on it lazily. His eyes were on Xiang Wan the whole time though. That focused gaze was as though imprinted on her. Xiang Wan’s face was burning, her heart was racing, and her body felt numb…
“Bai Muchuan, you must have had a lot of girlfriends right?” she blurted a question.
Xiang Wan was really curious, even though this might not be a good time to ask.
“Hm?” Bai Muchuan raised an eyebrow. “Why do you say that?”
“You’re too experienced. You can totally write a guide book about how to flirt with girls!”
Bai Muchuan’s thin lips formed a straight line.
“I’ve never eaten pork doesn’t mean I’ve never seen pigs run?”
Hur! Xiang Wan did not believe him. “I don’t believe you!” She looked at him coldly. “Liar.”
“You either think of all men as bad eggs when it’s not, and think of men as good people when you should think otherwise! Aren’t you silly?” Bai Muchuan patted on the sofa beside him as a gesture for her to sit down and talk. After Xiang Wan rejected his request, he rubbed his temples and laughed in a somewhat m.u.f.fled manner.
“Men are not that bad… But men are not that good, either. Even a wonderful man like me, those information that I should know, I have already learnt them ages ago from the sea of information in the internet…”
Xiang Wan felt that those words did make some sense.
She did not retort but asked in a straight face, “So your first teacher is?”
Bai Muchuan laughed meaningfully. “It’s you, Teacher Xiang!”
Xiang Wan gritted her teeth. “Shameless!”
She wanted to leave, but Bai Muchuan grabbed her wrist in time.
He was like a big, lazy pet lying on her sofa, innocent and harmless. But his gaze was intrusively domineering, somewhat conflicted and somewhat aggressive as he held on to her.
“Sit down and talk to me for a while.”
Xiang Wan’s back was stiff and withdrew her hand warily. “What’s there to talk about?”
“You’re scared of me?” Bai Muchuan smiled as he looked at her complicated and confused expression. “Don’t behave like a rabbit, okay? I won’t eat you! I just want talk to you! Sit down.”
Xiang Wan looked at him, not moving but not saying a word, either.
The tolerance, patience, and slightly roguish behavior that Bai Muchuan showed tonight had refreshed her understanding of him once again. At the same time, by shredding his aloofness and indifference as well as his sometimes hot and cold att.i.tude, Bai Muchuan gradually become real with emotions and desires.
“Let go of me first,” she said.
Bai Muchuan wavered for a moment and released her.
The light in the night felt warm. As the two looked at each other, the surrounding temperature was as if increased. It was already autumn but the temperature felt like the hot summer. Beads of perspiration started to form in Xiang Wan’s back in face of Bai Muchuan’s almost scorching gaze. On one hand, she was at a loss, but on the other, her maiden heart was crying out impetuously…
Just run to him without a care, is that alright?
Even if it might spell doom, is that alright?
Such a Bai Muchuan was practically eye-catching.
Even if he might not truly love you, you would still have a period that he would only belong to you. It should not be that bad, just treat it as an experience! But, is that alright?
Xiang Wan knew about her surging emotions was the right way to open up her life. Women with charm all did the same thing. They would brace themselves to face the new relationship and end it gracefully if it didn’t work out.
Unfortunately, she felt that she belonged to the melodramatic women…
She was unable to treat her feelings irresponsibly.
In a certain way, she was someone who believed in egoism 2 .
Xiang Wan looked at him as she took a step closer. Even though her breathing was more rapid now, she tried to sound steady.
“I’m asking you several questions. You need to answer them truthfully.”
“Go ahead!” Bai Muchuan stretched his arms so that his att.i.tude would seem more proper.
“Your purpose.”
Xiang Wan directly asked him his purpose of coming to her place. Bai Muchuan was surprised for a moment and smiled.
“Is what I did still not clear enough? Or I need to write it down on my face?”
“What is it?” Xiang Wan asked stubbornly.
Bai Muchuan puffed a sigh. “Xiang Wan, I want to be with you.”
Xiang Wan nodded her head to indicate she heard it.
“How long will we be together, I want to know your time limit!”
I never knew I can be so calm! Xiang Wan heard her own voice and was smiling inside her head.
She suddenly felt that she was the auntie in a wholesale market who was selling pork, asking people how much meat they want to buy…
Bai Muchuan rubbed his forehead. “If you want to add a time limit, I hope it will be 10,000 years…”
“…”
There he goes again!
Do people from the Capital talk like him?
Xiang Wan was somewhat speechless when Bai Muchuan had a serious expression and took her hand.
“But 10,000 years are too long! I don’t think I can survive till then and could not stay by your side. Hence, can’t we just make the best use of time we have?”
Make the best use of time we have? Xiang Wan fixed her gaze at him but did not say anything.
“Although I wanted to say those words that women liked to hear to make you happy, I don’t want to lie to you at all. I’m a detective and has offended many people. My working hours are erratic. Everyday, I don’t know if ‘tomorrow’ or ‘accident’ will come for me. What I can promise you is only to make the best use of time we have. We can get along with each other like this, slowly. Who knows, we might be spending our lifetime with each other?”
Xiang Wan’s mouth moved as if she wanted to say something, but ultimately, she did not say it.
Every girl dreams of their love and marriage. But few of them knew it and dared to face it… That no matter how turbulent a love was, it would ultimately become calm; no matter how romantic and special a love was; ultimately, it would only be back to basics and the nitty gritties of life.
If two people who shared the same values could get along with each other—able to tolerate each other and give in to each other—they would be able to enjoy a long relationship and transform their love to bonds that hold a family together. Only then would a couple stay together till old age, where they could hold hands to watch the sunset and talk about love.
That was what she wrote in her novel.
Cruel, practical, but beautiful nonetheless.
“You still want to say… Give it a try?” she asked, feeling somewhat difficult to open her mouth.
Bai Muchuan furrowed his brows and held her hands seriously. “Let’s give it a try.”
Xiang Wan paused for a while then lowered her head. “What if I still don’t agree?”
“I don’t mind!” Bai Muchuan laughed. “I can always try again. Isn’t life like this? Infinite possibilities. Since the heavens let me meet you in Jin City, I’m sure, this is the best arrangement for me.”
As he said that, his eyes seemed to sparkle.
That felt like a warm sunshine penetrating inside her heart, but it soon disappeared and turned into a soul-stirring sigh.
“Woman, there’s only one word to describe you—coward!”
He directly exposed her, and she actually could not refute that.
Coward! Well, she wanted to protect herself… She was indeed timid as a mouse.
She thought about it for a while and said seriously, “Maybe you feel that I’m a little melodramatic and tend to complicate simple things. I had to admit you’re right. Otherwise, I won’t be 26 years old and have never been in a relationship. I also admit that I do have a problem in relationships, very serious problem.”
“When in school, students can easily fall in love without any worries and get into a relationship or into even multiple relationships without any problem. But, I’m unable to do that!”
“I have too many emotional concerns. I think I also have a little emotional purity…”
After hesitating for a while, she pursed her lips and nodded her head seriously,.”I admit, it’s not a little problem but a lot more. I’m particularly concerned about emotional purity.”
Bai Muchuan looked at her eyes. “Why?”
Xiang Wan looked away from him, avoiding his gaze. “Maybe I’m born with it or it got acc.u.mulated when writing romance fictions… or both, and it got strengthened!”
“…”
Bai Muchuan looked at her deeply in silence. He did not press her further.
After a while, Xiang Wan puffed a sigh. “In my emotional life, there can only be one male lead, and I am the only female lead. If I can’t find someone like this… I’d rather stay single all my life. Am I too much to have such a thought?”
“Hm, a little too much!” Bai Muchuan smiled at her seriously.
After revealing her thoughts, Xiang Wan felt somewhat embarra.s.sed. “Well, I actually don’t think that you are wrong, either. I’m the one with a problem and I’m unable to bear the negative consequences of giving it a try!”
“I understand!” Bai Muchuan nodded his head. “So, let me suffer the negative consequences… Of course, if there is any.”
“…”
Did you really understand? Did I play the lute to a cow? she thought.
“You need not try. I will be the one who try.” Seeing her pursing her lips without a word, Bai Muchuan chuckled. “I’ll try to become your boyfriend but you can continue to see me as your colleague or friend.”
This is something unheard of! she thought.
Xiang Wan raised an eyebrow but did not take it to heart. “Stop teasing me! This is not something to joke about?”
“I’m not joking!” Bai Muchuan contemplated for a moment and looked solemn. “From now onward, I’ll definitely do my part!”
Xiang Wan stepped back and realized that this guy’s gaze did not feel as pure.
“What do you want to do?”
“Why are you so cowardly?” Bai Muchuan could not help but laugh, and his eyes were sparkling as he did so. “I won’t do anything to you. I won’t touch you without your consent. I just want to protect you using the ident.i.ty as your boyfriend…”
How will he protect?
Xiang Wan’s eyes were full of doubts.
Bai Muchuan said it as a matter of factly, “You have two choices. You’ll either move in with me or I’ll move into this house.”
“What?” Xiang Wan thought she had heard wrongly. She looked at him as though he was crazy. “Are you really alright?”
“I’m very serious about this!” Bai Muchuan eyeballed the surrounding of this house, and his brows furrowed slightly showing a little scorn. “It’s kinda small in here but I won’t mind it. I can tolerate it temporarily.”
What the! He didn’t mind but she does!
“Look, I’m living with Yuanyuan, she’ll mind!”
“Then move in with me, I won’t mind.”
“I think your brain got short circuit or something…”
Xiang Wan was so angry that her breathing was fast. She shook his hand off vigorously and wanted to leave. However, she did not notice the coffee table and her right knee knocked directly on it. That piercing pain made her broke out in cold sweat.
She let out a light gasp and quickly bent down to use the coffee table as support. Bai Muchuan’s hand hurriedly supported her waist at this moment. He was now adjusting himself on the sofa so she could sit on the sofa as well…
However, as his arm and a leg were wounded, his movement was not as fast. Xiang Wan’s knee got hurt and her legs felt rather weak from the impact. In the confusion she wanted to avoid physical contact with him. But in the end, ironically and comedically, she ended up sitting on him again.
The lights suddenly dimmed.
No, it was her eyes that became blurry.
The light in front of her eyes became dim and blurry as the hand that held her waist tightly was as though transformed into charcoal… It felt hot.
Bai Muchuan tightened his grip and pulled her close to him.
“What happened? It hurts really badly?” he asked in his husky voice.
He leaned forward where Xiang Wan could feel his breathing right in front of her.
Xiang Wan’s heart skipped a beat as she heard that. Her nerve at the spine seemed to be numb as well and she could not help responding to his question.
“It’s okay.”
Bai Muchuan lifted her chin up slightly.
“Xiang Wan.”
She took a glance at him but remained quiet.
“Can I kiss you?”
“…”
“Just a little while,” he said as he embraced her tightly, his voice slightly hoa.r.s.e but s.e.xy and had an unexpected quiver.
Like the first love of a young boy and girl, there was expectation, confusion, and bewilderment.
His fingers were stroking her chin and lips. He placed his thumb gently on it, and pressed…
The strange and familiar sensory stimuli had seemingly turned Xiang Wan’s world upside down.
In the confusion, she did not know what she had said.
“No, we better not…”
“Yes, it’s alright!” He quickly pressed the back of her head and used his nose to brush her nose gently. The warm lips found its target in no time and quickly pressed on it, bringing her into a world of lingering tenderness.
The feeling of warmth took control of her head. Xiang Wan’s eyelashes were fluttering and quivering lightly…
“Xiang Wan!” Bai Muchuan looked up and stared at her.
One second.
Two seconds.
Three seconds…
Whose heart was beating?
His adam’s apple moved. The next instant, he tightened his arms around her where both fell onto the sofa where he kissed her pa.s.sionately.
…