Fervently, he kissed me, and everything inside me trembled with antic.i.p.ation. Pleasure surged through me like electricity, and intense warmth was exploding all through me. My stomach swirled with b.u.t.terflies and my heart was beating frantically. Every part of me was begging for him. His breathing was low and rough, and his hands eagerly searched my skin. He moaned against me, and I felt his body move with me, but there were that stupid cloth separating us. Part of me wanted to rip off his clothes, but I knew that still wouldn"t be close enough. I wanted to feel his heart pounding with mine, and there was only way to achieve that.
"Do it," I whispered huskily in his ear, and then leaned my head back, revealing as much of my throat as I possibly could.
He pressed his lips softly against my vein, leaving them there as I pushed myself against him. He was trying to resist it, but he was overcome with an incessant need for me. Losing me was more than he could bear, and he was desperate for me.
The sharp pain lasted only a second, and then there was ecstasy spreading away from my neck.
His heart beat heavily, and I felt it thudding in my own chest, above my heart. There was a double beat that felt more amazing than anything I had ever experienced. Breathlessly, I moaned, and I could taste him in mouth, the tangy, honey taste of his blood, even though I had never actually tasted it. I could feel the way his blood coursed through his veins, the way it coursed through mine. Like hot, liquid silk carrying pure bliss through my body.
More than anything, though, I could feel how much he loved me. It was pure and raw, and it felt like it was coming from inside me and spreading out all over me. For an instant, I loved myself the way he loved me, and it felt deeper than anything I had ever felt before. I didn"t think I was even capable of emotions that intense. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I felt embarra.s.sed because I knew that he could feel how much I loved him, and it didn"t seem to compare with the way he felt about me.
The intensity of everything started fading, getting hazy around the edges. It all still felt more spectacular than I could"ve ever hoped for, but I was starting to feel more like I was dreaming and less like this was actually happening. I was starting to lose consciousness, and I thought about telling Jack, but it felt far too amazing to stop.
A jolt ripped through me, and I gasped painfully for air. My body suddenly felt cold and alone.
Jack had stopped biting me, and although he was still lying directly on top of me, the separation of his blood from mine, his heart from mine, was shocking. It felt like being thrust from the desert to the arctic.
"Oh my G.o.d." Jack struggled to catch his breath. His face was buried in my hair next to me, and I felt his body shuddering and heaving to get control of itself. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I murmured dazedly. "Are you kidding? That was... amazing."
"I can"t believe I just did that..." He shook his head and rolled over onto his back.
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"No, Jack, that was..." I didn"t even have the words for what it was. Using all my strength, I rolled over and buried my head in his chest. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around me, and then pulled me close to him.
"That was bad. Right now, it feels really, really worth it, but that was definitely bad," Jack whispered hoa.r.s.ely. For the first time ever, his heart beat loudly and quickly. Not as fast or as loud as mine, but something much closer to human.
"No. No. I just hate that it"s over," I insisted. "I"ve never felt like that before."
"Neither have I," Jack admitted wearily. "What are we gonna do?"
"I"m going to fall asleep..." Exhaustion from the night coupled with sudden, intense blood loss made me feel weaker than I ever had before in my life. I could probably sleep for the next three days straight. "And you"re gonna stay with me. Being this close to you still feels too far away. I don"t think I could handle it if you were any farther."
He kissed the top of my head and fixed my robe so it was covering me more. I felt him moving but didn"t understand what he was doing until I felt the blanket on top of me. He had covered me up, and then he rolled over so he was laying on his side, facing me. I still had my face buried in his chest, and he wrapped his arms securely around me. It was like being in a coc.o.o.n, and I slowly started drifting off to sleep.
Chapter 19.
The afterglow was more of an aftermath. I was blissfully unconscious, more so than I had ever been before, and Jack had gotten out of bed before I even started to stir. The bed was empty underneath my arm, and when I tried to nuzzle closer to him, all I could find was the softness of the pillow. There was still this heavy exhaustion hanging on me, like I was sleeping underneath a weighted blanket, but I could faintly hear movement in the room and I just wanted Jack back in bed with me.
The light was still in, so I blinked through my groggy vision as my eyes started to adjust. I tried to left up my head, but that required far too much strength. Using all my effort, I managed to roll onto my back and tried to make sense of the room. Jack was pacing the room, but when he saw me starting to wake up, he stood at the end of the bed and just watched me. His arms were folded over his chest and his eyes looked moist.
"This is why Peter tried to send you away," Jack whispered to himself and swallowed hard.
"What?" My voice was barely above a whisper, and it was taking everything I had to manage that.
"Jack? What are you doing? Come back to bed..." Languidly, I patted the empty spot next to me, hoping to entice him back in bed.
"I can"t get back in bed with you!" Jack insisted his fiercely, and he smiled sadly at me. "I shouldn"t even be in the same room with you. I obviously can"t be around you anymore."
"No, Jack." Fear was starting to energize me a bit more, and I struggled to sit up. My mind was covered in a thick fog, and I could still felt the way his heart beat with mine. It was hard to think of a rational argument.
"Jack, just please. Can"t we sleep? And we"ll talk about this later. But you can"t... just... not be around me."
"We need to talk to Ezra. I think I may have just killed you."
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"I"m clearly not dead, Jack," I shook my head, not understanding what he meant.
"Maybe there"s still time. Maybe we can do something." He wasn"t looking at me anymore. His mind was working overtime, trying to think of some way out of this. "You"ve got to get up. We have to go now."
"But I am so tired!" I whined and fell backwards on the bed. I didn"t have the strength to argue anymore. He was saying things that were potentially very serious, but my eyes were already closing.
"Alice!" Jack shouted, and it startled me enough where my eyes opened up again. "You have to get up!"
"No!" I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. "You have to come back to bed! That"s what we"ll do. Compromise."
"That"s not a compromise at all," he sighed. The bed shifted as he sat down next to me, and hesitantly, he touched my back. "Alice. Come on. You have to do this. We have to talk to him.
Maybe there"s something he can do. Your neck hasn"t completely healed yet."
"I don"t care! I am so tired, Jack! I"ve never been this tired in my entire life!" I was shouting, or at least trying to, but if Jack hadn"t had better hearing, he wouldn"t have been able to hear me.
"That"s because you just lost about two pints of blood, and you only had seven to begin with, so your body"s weak right now. Which is also why we need to get up, so I can make sure that you"re okay." He shook my back, and I tried to pull away from him, not that I got very far. "Alice. Get up."
After that, he was done arguing. Part of his insistence came from how nervous my current state made him, and he wanted Mae and Ezra to check me out to make sure I wasn"t about to keel over. He got up, and gently but firmly, he started pulling me out of bed. I offered some kind of complaint, but he didn"t listen.
"I"m not wearing any clothes," I insisted in my tired whine. I was still in the robe, but that didn"t really const.i.tute as clothes. Standing up made me feel dizzy, and I want to sit back down, but he held me in place until I stopped swaying.
"I"ll get you clothes. But you have to stay standing up. You need to try waking up a little bit." He was holding me steady, and cautiously he let me go. When I didn"t collapse backwards, he hurried to get me something to wear.
"I don"t understand why this can"t wait until I"ve had a bit more sleep. What time is it?" I yawned loudly.
"Um, it"s a little after nine in the morning," Jack answered as he rummaged through his closet. He came out a second later carrying a tee shirt and drawstring sweats. "Here."
"How are you so alert? Milo was like... out after he bit Jane." I shivered involuntarily at the thought of it and took the clothes from him.
"He"s still young. It effects him a lot harder than it does me," he replied absently. "Put on the clothes."
"I don"t want to."
I tried sitting down, but he grabbed my arm to stop me. I just stood there then, fighting to keep my eyes open. Obviously, since standing and opening my eyes were a ch.o.r.e, I wasn"t really up to 140 getting dressed, so Jack took it upon himself. Later on, I"d be incredibly embarra.s.sed, but at the time, I was just grateful that I didn"t have to do it myself. He gently pushed off the robe, and pulled the shirt over my head. I tried to help get my arms through the sleeves of the tee shirt, but I somehow got tangled up. Getting dressed had never been so complicated. He let me sit down to put on my pants, but I ended up actually laying down, and I instantly fell asleep. In ten seconds it took him to get my pants and pull me into standing up, I had fallen asleep.
"Alice," Jack pleaded with me, trying to get me to stand again, but I wasn"t having any of it.
Finally, he just gave up on it. At least I was dressed. He scooped me into his arms, and my head lolled into his shoulder. The rest of me just hung there, limply. I wanted to put my arms around his neck, but I was already falling sleep. There was the sense of motion, and the next thing I knew, we were downstairs, and he was trying to get me to stand up again. The hardwood floors felt too cold and slippery, and I couldn"t do it.
"Alice, you"re not even trying," he sighed. His arm was around me, trying to just be supportive. My legs weren"t doing anything productive, so my weight was entirely on him. "Alice! Come on."
"Just let me sit down." I decided that would fix everything somehow, if I could just sit down that instant. I was trying to push away from him, so I could just drop to wherever I was at and sit down.
"Alice, we"re in dining room. Why don"t you wait until I take you to the living room?" Jack suggested helpfully, but I just kept pushing on him.
He was much stronger than me, especially considering my extreme state of weakness, but he must"ve decided that fighting me on this was a moot point. Gently, he helped lower me to the floor. Once on the floor, I sat up for about a second, and then fell backwards. He caught me before I cracked the back of my head on the floor, and then carefully set me down so I was laying down.
"You"re just gonna sleep in the middle of the dining room floor?" He had crouched over me, and I looked up at him blearily for a minute.
"I guess so. Since you wouldn"t let me sleep upstairs like a normal person. Why can"t I ever just be a normal person? Like... for once. I just wanna sleep when I"m tired. Why is that such a crime?" I was tiredly rambling on, but my eyelids were too heavy, and as soon as they fell shut, so did my mouth.
"Alice! I just want you awake long enough to talk to Mae!" He tried shaking me, and while I was still awake, I was too tired to speak or move. "Alice!"
"You bit her." I heard Mae"s voice coming from somewhere behind Jack, and it startled him. It would"ve done me too, if I hadn"t mostly pa.s.sed out already. "You finally did it. Is she okay?"
"That"s what I"m trying to find out."
"I"m fine," I mumbled, but I heard Mae"s footsteps and felt her crouch down next to me, pushing Jack out of the way. Her hands went to my forehead and my neck, and she made a clicking sound with her tongue.
"This happened awhile ago, Jack. Why are you just bringing her down now?" Mae demanded.
"I don"t know. I fell asleep. I don"t know what I was thinking," Jack told her apologetically.
"How is she?" That was Ezra, his deep accent rolling out from everywhere. I couldn"t place where he was at. His voice almost sounded like it was coming from inside my head.
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"She pale and cool and her heart"s beating fast, but I think she"s okay. We could give her a transfusion, but I don"t really think she needs it." Mae started lifting me up off the floor, and my eyelids fluttered and I tried to push her off.
"No! Just leave me here. I don"t want to move anymore," I insisted weakly.
"You"re on the kitchen floor!" Mae said, pushing my hair back from forehead.
"She"s really big into the floor apparently," Jack grumbled.
"Just leave her if that"s what she wants," Ezra commanded, and I tried to tell him thank you, but I couldn"t. I felt myself settling back down on the floor, and Mae stood up and moved away from me. Jack asked Ezra what was going to happen now, and I heard the wonderful, deep boom of his voice but I couldn"t understand the answer. It was like listening to the adults talk on Charlie Brown. I was quickly fading out, unable to concentrate enough to hear the most important conversation of my life. The lull of their voices put me to sleep.
Milo was yelling, and that"s what woke me up. My whole body felt stiff and ached when I opened my eyes. Ezra had his arms around Milo, holding him back, and Mae stood in between Milo and Jack, trying to reason with him. He just kept screaming at Jack, demanding to know what he did to me and why he thought it was alright. Jack wasn"t saying anything. He just stood behind Mae, looking upset and remorseful.
"Why would you even think that was okay?" Milo shouted, futilely fighting against Ezra"s arms.
"Milo, she"s alright!" Mae explained as calmly as she could. Her hand was on his chest, more to calm him down than to hold him back. There was no way he could break from Ezra"s grip. "She"s just weak and this is where she wanted to lay!"
"When Peter finds out, she"s as good as dead!" Milo spat, and I saw tears streaming down his cheeks.
"You"re supposed to care about her so much and you just signed her death certificate!" Jack winced and looked at the floor.
"Stop yelling," I grimaced. Trying to sit up was difficult, and I saw Jack move to start helping me, but then he stopped and took a step back. Mae ended up leaving her post in front of Milo and helped into the sitting up position. "My head hurts. And so does my neck. And every part of my body."
"That"s from sleeping on a hardwood floor." Mae rubbed my back and brushed the hair from eyes.
"Other than being sore, how are you feeling?"
"Tired. And a little a dizzy." I ran a hand through my hair and looked up at Milo. He had stopped fighting against Ezra, but he kept an arm on him just the same. Sniffling, Milo wiped at his face with the back of his arm and tried to pretend like he hadn"t been crying.
"Jack, go in the medicine in the main bathroom and get the vitamins," Mae instructed, pointing down the hallway. "There should be some iron and vitamin B12." He nodded, without looking at me, and went down the hall to the bathroom. "Milo, why don"t you get her something to take it with? Something with sugar. We have some Mountain Dew or something, don"t we?"
"I"ll check." Milo took a step towards the kitchen, but Ezra was still holding onto his arm.
"Can I trust you?" Ezra looked at him evenly, and Milo nodded sheepishly. "Good." He let go, and 142 Milo hurried over to the fridge to get a me a pop.
Jack appeared back with the vitamins and handed them to Mae. As soon as she took them, he quickly took several steps back from us. He stood all the way on the other side of the room, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the floor. Milo came back in with a Mountain Dew, glaring at Jack as he handed it to me.
Naturally, I couldn"t open the can because I could barely do anything. Crouched next to me, Mae was actually holding me up with her hand on my back. She handed me a couple pills, and I greedily drank the soda. It tasted better than I remembered it tasting, which I thought was odd, and I gulped it down fast.
"Feeling a little better?" Mae pushed the hair behind my ear and watched me closely.
"I guess," I shrugged, but I only felt slightly more alert than when I had pa.s.sed out on the floor the first time. "Why did you guys even have vitamins? You don"t eat."
"I bought them for you," Mae answered absently, fixing my hair. I hadn"t brushed it since my bath, and I imagined that it was snarly and looked like h.e.l.l. "We all knew this was a possibility."
"Are you sure she"s okay?" Milo stood next to Ezra, looking at me nervously and fidgeting in place.
"She"s just so pale."
"She"ll be just fine," Mae a.s.sured him. "Do you hear her heart?" She paused, and Milo c.o.c.ked his head, listening for the sound of it. "It"s a little fast, but it"s strong. That sound means she"ll be alright."
"We should get her up off the floor," Ezra suggested.
Mae took the can of empty soda from me, and Ezra bent down in front of me. I was a little surprised that he as going to be the one helping me, but I tried not to show it. I looped my arm around his neck and he lifted me up easily. Having never been that close to him before, I felt a little awkward, but I couldn"t help but notice how wonderfully male he smelled. Like sandalwood and spice, all woodsy and strong.
He set me on the couch in the living room, and Mae followed behind us, carrying a blanket. Once he put me down, Ezra crouched at eye level with me, his eyes staring intently at me and he breathed deeply.
Almost sadly, he looked away and then stood up. Mae wrapped the blanket around my shoulders, and left her arms with them, cradling me to her as she set next to me. Ezra stood in front of us, resting his hand on his chin, just watching me. Milo and Jack were standing off to the side of the room, and I could feel them looking to Ezra expectantly. A decision was in the process of being made right now, one that I didn"t understand.
"Guys, I"m okay, really," I told them meekly, hoping to ease the tension in the room, but it didn"t do anything.
"We know, love," Mae whispered, squeezing me briefly to rea.s.sure me. Her eyes were locked on Ezra, though, and there was this collective feeling everyone looking at him and thinking "Well?"
"Yes," Ezra nodded infinitesimally, and his expression was regretful. "You can smell him on her."