Chapter 153: Who Bit My b.u.t.tocks?
Mushmush was a mushroom which followed by the rules really well. When he first opened his eyes, he was already in that forest. In the beginning, there were still many other mushrooms next to him, as they filled the piece of land under a huge tree. In the morning, he ate dew, and at night, he basked under the moonlight. His life could be considered to be very flavorful. Unfortunately, the other mushrooms did not know how to speak. He was the only one that was different. Hence, to a certain degree, this caused him to suspect himself if he had actually grown irregularly.
Then, the mushrooms under the tree were continuously eaten by other small animals, and he was the only one left. Hence, in his countless days of leisure, he then had an additional matter to frustrate about, and that was to not be eaten. Every night, before he slept, he would always have to chant out as such. It was unknown if it was actually effective, but as many years pa.s.sed, countless batches of mushrooms were grown and eaten one after another next to him, yet, he was still the only one still planted there.
Until the day he was finally able to leave that piece of land, he then understood that he could speak. And it was because he had become a spirit, that those regular animals were basically unable to eat him. Knowing that he did not have an irregular growth, the mushroom was very happy. However, in the forest, he was still unable to find a person who he could talk to, which led him to feel very lonely.
Until one day, a piece of rock spirit fell onto his home. Finally, there was someone who he could converse with. The mushroom was very happy, as he spoke with the rock spirit all of the things he had acc.u.mulated for several thousand years. The rock spirit was a very good listener. No matter how long he spent talking, she would still patiently listen. Of course, this might be due to the fact that she was unable to move, but the mushroom felt that, other than drinking dew and basking under the moonlight, those were the most enjoyable moments in his life.
However, days like this did not last long. That female deity who feed on mushrooms appeared. Rock spirit told him that she was called little b.i.t.c.h, and had even helped him think of a plan to chase after that female deity. Unfortunately, this plan was seen through by that female deity called little b.i.t.c.h. The mushroom was really worried that he would be eaten, but he never ever did he expect that the little b.i.t.c.h’s target wasn’t him, but the rock spirit. So, what humans liked to eat were not mushrooms, but actually rocks. So frightening!
At the key moment, the little b.i.t.c.h was frightened away by the heavenly lightning bolts. He anxiously went to hide from the heavenly lightning bolts, yet, he had carelessly dropped the rock spirit. He had gone back to look for her several times, and had even flipped over the entire forest. Yet, he was still unable to find the rock spirit.
The forest without the rock spirit once again restored itself to its former look. Completely quiet. The mushroom had lived days like this for several thousand years, but now, he suddenly felt that he was no longer able to bear it. He continued to look, but was unable to find the rock spirit even after several days. Hence, the mushroom felt that she was definitely brought away by that little b.i.t.c.h. Whenever he thought about this pitiful rock spirit being bitten on by that person one mouth at a time, the mushroom felt very guilty. Hence, he decided to set on a journey to find the rock spirit.
He walked out of the forest, and went to many places. He understood a few things that he never knew in the past, and found out that actually, not all human pract.i.tioners eat rocks. Rock spirit is so unfortunate, I wonder if she’s still alive? He once again lit up his battle spirits, and went around inquiring news about little b.i.t.c.h and rock spirit. Then, he finally found that female deity. In order to obtain news regarding rock spirit, he had been tailing her. As he followed, he arrived at a place with many people queuing up. In order to prevent little b.i.t.c.h from discovering him, he mixed himself into the bunch of vegetable spirits. In the end, he was brought onto this boat.
He finally found the rock spirit which had gone missing for a long time, and she had actually cultivated a human form. As expected of a spiritual monster which had stayed with him, she was that incredible. Happily, the mushroom changed into his human form as well.
However, rock spirit was dumbfounded. She stared at him for a long while without speaking a single word. Could it be that his looks was too handsome, causing the rock spirit to be dazzled? The mushroom felt that this was really possible. Hence, he patiently waited for several minutes, allowing the rock spirit to get used to it.
However, she still did not speak up, and the mushroom seemed to be unable to bear it any longer. Reaching out his hand, he nudged her. “Rock spirit? Rock spirit?”
“…”
“Rock spirit? Jade spirit? … Guo’er?”
Only then did she have a reaction. She once again swept her eyes at the man, and hesitantly spoke up. “You… Xuzhi?”
“Ah?” The mushroom was startled for a moment. “Rock spirit, what’s wrong with you? I’m Mushmush.”
“Mush…” Zhu Yao blanked, yet, waves were already tumbling about in the depths of her heart. She then grabbed onto the person in front of her. “Mushroom, do you have another name? Like one with a surname?”
The mushroom lowered his head and pondered for a moment. “My surname is Mush?”
“I don’t mean it that way!” Zhu Yao became anxious. “I’m asking, do you remember me?”
Mushroom looked at her strangely. “Rock spirit, are you silly? I came here to find you, so how can I not remember you?”
“I’m saying… Zhu Yao, your big sis Zhu Yao. And little wimp… Do you remember how I called you as little wimp?”
Mushroom shook his head.
Zhu Yao instantly felt her heart sank, and for a moment, a heart-piercing chilling intent surfaced. How was that possible? Clearly, this face was exactly the same. He’s clearly w.a.n.g Xuzhi, her little wimp. So how could he not remember?
“Trying recalling a little longer. Do you really not remember me? Ancient Hill Sect, Jade Forest Mountain, and… your father, Doctor w.a.n.g?”
“Rock spirit, are you alright?” Mush finally realized that she was behaving a little strange.
“Try recalling a little longer, please, try recalling a bit more, alright?” Realmspirit said that, she would be able to see w.a.n.g Xuzhi again. This face was clearly his, so how could he not remember?
“Rock spirit… Haah. Don’t be anxious. I will think, I will try recalling, alright?” With rock spirit acting so irregularly, mushroom was a little fl.u.s.tered. He then seriously began to try recalling.
Zhu Yao clenched her fists. It’s w.a.n.g Xuzhi, right? He returned, right?
“Yu Yao, it’s not him.” Yu Yan’s voice resounded in her mind. Zhu Yao instantly felt a chill in her heart. “This mushroom has already cultivated for at least four thousand years.”
“But…” Subconsciously, Zhu Yao wanted to refute. “Realmspirit said that he will return. They clearly look exactly the same.”
“There are similarities in human looks, moreover, this is just a human materialization of a mushroom spirit.”
“However, no matter how similar they could be, how could it be possible for there not to be the slightest of difference?”
“Yu Yao!” However, Yu Yan’s voice became even calmer. “It’s not him. You… know it clearly as well.”
“…”
Zhu Yao turned silent. Indeed, she actually clearly knew that this mushroom wasn’t w.a.n.g Xuzhi. It had only been a thousand odd years since w.a.n.g Xuzhi left, and the timespan of the mushroom’s cultivation basically did not match. Even if they were the same person, how could he have memories of his past life?
In the very end, she was simply trying to lie to herself.
“Rock spirit, I pondered about it.” Mushroom looked over, and glanced at her a little hesitantly. “The places and people you spoke about, I really don’t recognize any of them.”
“Mn… I know.” Zhu Yao took a deep breath, and rubbed her face. She was just forcing herself into a dead-end. The impact of w.a.n.g Xuzhi’s incident was simply too huge to her, and it had already left a scar in her heart. Hence, when she saw a similar-looking face, she would want to grab onto it tightly without letting it go. This was the knot in her heart. “Thank you, Mushmush.”
Realmspirit said that they would meet again, then, she simply had to wait for it to happen.
“What are you thanking me for? I said I will take care of you.” Mushroom patted on his own chest. “Stop acting so strangely and scary, alright? If you’re really unhappy, acting as though I recognize those people can be done as well…”
“…” If he really was w.a.n.g Xuzhi, she wouldn’t even allow it.
Zhu Yao took a deep breath, and in an instant, the air of depression in her chest dispersed. “Oh right, mushroom, are you going to enter the Advent Cloud Hall as well?”
“Advent Cloud Hall?” Mushroom blanked for a moment. “What kind of mushroom is that?”
“…” That isn’t a mushroom! Zhu Yao’s head began to ache. “If you’re not joining the Advent Cloud Hall, why did you queue up and register your name?”
“I found that little b.i.t.c.h, so, in order to save you, I joined the queue as well.” Mushroom sternly said. “Rock spirit, you were right. That little b.i.t.c.h isn’t a good person like you said. I have seen many human pract.i.tioners, but she’s the only one who eats rocks.”
What’s with this matter about eating rocks?
“Oh right, rock spirit, how did you escape? What happened to the little b.i.t.c.h who captured you?”
“I wasn’t captured.” So, he had always thought that she was captured by that imposter female deity. “That day, I was… saved by someone else.”
“Oh, I see.” Mushroom nodded. “No wonder I was unable to find you. I must have missed you.”
Zhu Yao felt a little guilty. Logically speaking, they did not stay together for long, and had only met by chance. She never expected that this mushroom would leave the forest in order to save her. Back then, he wasn’t even willing to move away from the bottom of the tree.
Zhu Yao told the mushroom her plans of entering the Advent Cloud Hall. Initially, she wanted to persuade him to return to the forest, however, the mushroom might have nothing, but he was filled with the sense of loyalty. At that moment, he expressed that he would enter the Advent Cloud Hall together with her.
The boat drifted on the ocean-top for several days. Initially, Zhu Yao thought that they would definitely experience some wind and rain in this so-called entrance trial. At the very least, there should have been a small crisis to test everyone. However, a few days pa.s.sed. The wind was as gentle and the waves were as calm as before. The boat was so stable, it did not even rock for a single moment.
Could this stage really be cleared just by getting across the ocean? Was this stage called the “Eight Immortals Crossing the Seas[1]”?
Just as Zhu Yao was puzzled about this matter, there were finally movements on the quiet boat.
“Aiyo, who bit my b.u.t.tocks?” The chatty mushroom who had been sitting next to her and talking to her, suddenly let out a cry. In an instant, he leapt up, and rubbed his own reddened b.u.t.tocks.
Zhu Yao looked over, only to see a lump of meat squatting behind him. It was the fat rabbit spirit Whitey.
Currently, he was desperately holding onto his own mouth. As he wailed, he rolled around on the ground, and traces of blood could be seen flowing from his fingertips. “My teeth…”
“Stupid rabbit, what did you do?” The weasel spirit walked over, and pulled up the fatty from the ground.
The rabbit spirit held onto his lips, and did no reply. Instead, Mushroom said with a furious look. “He bit my b.u.t.tocks earlier!”
The weasel lowered his head, and stared at the rabbit spirit. Only then did the rabbit spirit say hesitantly, as he held onto his still-bleeding lips. “I… I was hungry. Who knew that he would be this hard?” He simply did a single bite, and four of his teeth got knocked off. This thing definitely wasn’t a mushroom, but a rock, right?
“I already told you many times.” The weasel raised his hand, and slapped towards the fatty’s head. “You have already materialized a human form, yet, you’re still unable to restrain your natural instincts. Every time you see a vegetable, you pounce towards it.”
“I’m hungry…” The rabbit glanced at the weasel youth with teary eyes, yet, he was still pitifully dragged towards the mushroom to make an apology.
Zhu Yao felt like laughing as she watched on. That rabbit’s cultivation level wasn’t high, he seemed to have only materialized his human form only recently. Animals followed their instincts and were hard to teach in the first place, so after seeing a boat filled with vegetables, it was definitely hard to not have his heart stirred. Yet, even though there were many other choices, he just had to bite the mushroom.
She had seen the strength and st.u.r.diness of the mushroom’s true body with her own eyes. With just a single leap, he could smash out a crater on the ground. So how would it be possible for the rabbit spirit to bite into him?
In an instant, Zhu Yao realized what this stage was actually testing on.
[1]Reference to the Eight Immortals of Chinese Mythology.