Chapter 38: Confession
She didn’t know where these feelings had come from, but before she was aware, they had grown into a roiling ocean. Di Jiufeng never knew she would like a woman, that she would even go stupid mad with love for her.
How did Ning Guang catch her interest?
For the most part, it was that warmth she had never before felt, deep and even more heavy than life itself. As soon as she dipped a toe in, there was no chance of her freeing herself again.
Ning Guang’s affection made her sink until she had no way to free herself, so much so that when there was the chance that this warmth could leave, she wanted to escape in terror. Her legs trembled like she would turn and run in the next second, but at this time, Ning Guang’s long and slender fingers caught her wrist. “Shifu, our consciences are clear. What do you have to fear?”
This resolute and confident voice made Di Jiufeng’s heart sink to the valley floor.
She already could not control her tremors, a bone-chilling cold spreading out from the pit of her stomach, freezing her blood, icing her breaths, and taking all her hopes with it, breaking into pieces with the thin ice.
She had a clear conscience, Ning Guang had a clear conscience, so everything was just her misunderstanding…
With this realization, Di Jiufeng was nearly unable to control her tears, but she could not cry. If she cried, wouldn’t she confess to that unspeakable secret? She had fanciful intentions in her heart, but Ning Guang did not. But Ning Guang was not wrong. In love, no one was wrong. Her far fancies dried in the wind and shattered, making her heart swirl with tearing pain.
She shook so fiercely it took up all the strength in her body. She could only hang her head, without the courage to lift it again.
If time could stop, Di Jiufeng only wished that this dark and meaningless life of hers could disappear into ash with the flow of time itself. This lamentable emotion had been ravaged by wind and frost before it could come to life, fallen into the mud.
Di Jiufeng was pained, heartbroken, but Ning Guang would not let her go.
She clamped down on Di Jiufeng’s wrist and said word by word, “I and my Shifu have never done any indecent things. I respect her, esteem her, love her, feel for her. Because I want it to be so, everything I do comes from my own heart. I declare that there is nothing unsightly here! You can not vilify my Shifu, and even more cannot slander my own true heart!”
Everyone thought Ning Guang was stressing their relationship as master and disciple, but only the Qing Yu and Ji Liuran standing within arm’s-length, and the Di Jiufeng lifting her head in a daze, could see the deep love burning into a blaze in her eyes.
Ning Guang was confessing to her in front of all these people, raising up her burning-hot true heart to her.
Di Jiufeng swung from great sorrow to great joy, cold and hot alternating on her body, her head buzzing. She could not regain her composure for a long time.
“Shifu, do you understand me? No matter how difficult it is, I will protect and a.s.sist you this whole life of mine.”
Di Jiufeng finally regained her composure, forcibly pressing down the hot tears in her eyes. Finally, crying tears of joy which fell onto the back of Ning Guang’s hand like shooting stars, she spoke. “Okay, I, I am waiting for you…”
Ning Guang having said this, that Chan sect woman was in a bit of an awkward situation. Though she still felt these two were a bit strange, she had already coerced them once, and speaking again would seem a bit like she was making trouble without reason.
They were in a stalemate, but Ji Liuran couldn’t hold on any longer.
Though Ning Guang had chided her, the more she did so, the more she wanted to catch Ning Guang’s eye. With the Ji family as backing, she would be successful in every endeavor, and Ning Guang could not be the exception.
Ji Liuran already could not determine whether she liked her or just refused to admit defeat. Maybe from the start, her feelings were not so pure.
“Why is there no end with your Ci Guang Temple, they are master and disciple, what problem can there be? This person will be with me, if you try to frame her, don’t blame me for being impolite!” His own daughter had rudely rushed out there. Though Ji Xian was annoyed with her impulsiveness, he did not denounce her in front of everyone, instead walking two steps forward to stand by his daughter’s side.
Ji Xian first took a look at Ning Guang, giving her a faint nod, then boldly sent his own oppressive aura rolling towards Ci Guang Sect. “This matter ends here. I also have fault in master Kong Chen’s injury. This is a bottle of deity-level life force-acc.u.mulating pills, take them and heal her well. This is the demonstration compet.i.tion after all, if you cause a disturbance here, aren’t you upstaging the host!”
Things had started so abruptly, and the Ji Family’s head had gotten involved. Of course the Han Hai Pavilion disciples guarding the arena platform were afraid to rashly intervene.
They hurriedly reported up to their sect leader, but the distance from the main peak to here really was too far. Even if the sect leader rushed as much as possible, it would still take not a little time. When he arrived, Ji Xian had just finished speaking. The sect leader heard from afar, and continued, “You are guests, you are guests, don’t disturb the peace. Why did you arrive so early, I could not even make the preparations to properly welcome you.”
Waving his hand to call a few disciples over, the sect leader said, “You hurry and take master Kong Chen to rest, and you, take our young friends from Ci Guang Temple to their seats. Ay, kids these days, how is every one of them so unruly, I only took my eyes off of you for a second and you’ve made so big a commotion. Ji Xian-xiong, don’t you think they should be properly disciplined?”
On the surface, the sect leader was scolding the younger generation for being disrespectful, but covertly he was ridiculing Ji Xian and Kong Chen.
Those two dared to cause trouble on his territory, they really looked down on Han Hai Pavilion!
The sect leader was pointing at the mulberry and cursing the locust tree, but of course Ji Xian understood his real meaning. He laughed coldly to himself, but showed none of it on his face.
When two tigers fight, one will get injured. Whoever retreated first would be the loser. Ji Xian did not want to admit defeat. He lowered his voice, smiled, and said, “The youth these days, their cultivation is really quite impressive. A fifteen-year-old at Nascent Soul Grand Completion, others could urge on their horses yet fail to keep up. With cultivation like this, what does it matter if her temper is a bit hot, after all she is destined to climb to the top of the cultivation world. Why must you find reasons to criticize her?”
Ji Xian appeared to be talking about Ning Guang, but was covertly comparing this youth to himself. The two matched swords in their words, but Ning Guang and Di Jiufeng did not care at all.
They had just clarified the feelings in each other’s hearts. Now, like they were soaked in a jar of honey, even their breaths were sweet. Di Jiufeng looked carefully at Ning Guang for a while, fluid glances like autumn waters, nearly drowning her in their depths. “Before, I always vaguely knew, and just then I thought it was my misunderstanding. I never thought that you were so smart, to use this sort of method to mislead her.”
Ning Guang’s hand slid down, interlocking their fingers. Her wide sleeves fell as well, hiding this enchanting display of love from the blue sky and white sun. “How was I deceiving her? Shifu, I never cared about what others thought of me, but I will not allow anyone to hold you in disdain. I always thought you did not like me, I never thought that today you would actually give me an answer. Shifu, I am so happy, I really am so happy.”
Ning Guang rarely grinned. Each time she smiled, it would only be that light and gentle tilt of her lip like the reflection of the moon on the water, shattering into flowing crystal with the brush of the cold wind.
But now, she smiled so joyously, like a little child, unable to restrain the arc of her mouth, both eyes full of stars, carving her image into everyone before her like all the stars had gathered to flatter the moon.
“Shifu, you were willing to give me an answer, I really… really…” Her heart full of joy showed in her words. Ning Guang wanted to hug her Shifu’s waist and spin two circles on the spot.
They were so inseparable, Ji Liuran’s eyes went red with envy.
She lifted her foot, about to sto=ep forward, but she was caught by the Qing Yu beside her. “They are so inseparable, why must you intervene? You don’t have a chance, why not just give up while you’re ahead.”
Ji Liuran heard him, rage leaping to the fore. She glared viciously at him, then said, gritting her teeth, “How do you know I don’t have a chance? Do you think they can stay together forever? Today, a mere Ci Guang Temple put them in such difficult straits. If it is exposed someday in the future, the entirety of the cultivation world will spurn them. Do you think a woman like Di Jiufeng can really persevere?”
Qing Yu took a glance at them, looked at that deeply hidden emotion which could only flow between the two, and thought that Ji Liuran was not wrong.
But in his heart, he still preferred Di Jiufeng, so he said, “I believe that, though there will be twists and turns between them, they can definitely walk this road to the end.
But you, young mistress of the Ji family, though you are the first wife’s daughter of the Ji family, you cannot be so selfish forever. If you continue on like this, one day you will hurt others and hurt yourself. May I offer a word of advice, the woman you like is not easy to win over. If you truly incite her displeasure, even if your father comes he won’t be able to save you.”
Though Ning Guang looked very obedient and harmless in front of Di Jiufeng, the glances she swept over every now and then made Qing Yu’s whole body p.r.i.c.kle in fright.
That gaze full of killing intent and defensiveness nearly took form as keen knives, killing him by lingchi.
[T/N: 凌迟 (ling2 chi2), death by a thousand cuts.]
He was not planning on doing anything, and was already caught under her death glare. For someone like Ji Liuran, he was afraid not even ten thousand deaths would be enough. Qing Yu wanted to point out a path of survival for her, and did not want his benefactor to catch the ire of the Ji family.
But, Ji Liuran refused to listen. She forcibly tossed her arm a couple of times, but was unable to toss off his hand. Furious, she roared, “Disgraceful thing, let go of this young mistress!” Barred by Qing Yu, when she finally struggled free, Di Jiufeng and Ning Guang had already walked to the arena platform, hand in hand.
Seeing their far retreating figures, Ji Liuran was about to explode in anger.
“Disgraceful thing, is it up to you to mind what this young mistress wants to do? I just like Ning Guang, if anyone dares stop me, I’ll take their life!”
Unconcerned with what happened between them, Ning Guang had already led Di Jiufeng to the side of the arena platform. Many people were gathered here, in particular, a line of people from Ci Guang Temple, gazes dipped in poison glaring firmly at them.
Under this gaze, Di Jiufeng thought, then slowly let go of Ning Guang’s hand. “There are too many people here, let’s be a bit careful.”
Ning Guang lowered her head, gaze full of disappointment stabbing into Di Jiufeng’s heart like needles concealed in silk floss. She was a bit reluctant, but if this love was exposed beneath everyone’s stares now, it would be nothing short of looking for their own deaths.
It was not that she was afraid, but she and Ning Guang had not yet fully spread their wings. If this love forbidden by propriety was exposed to the world, they could not yet endure everyone’s scorn and curses. If someone intended to separate them, how could they resist? She wanted to live this life together with Ning Guang. Even if this road was full of thistles and thorns and every step was b.l.o.o.d.y tearing flesh, she would still walk it, unswerving and resolute.
But right now, this deep love had just taken root, and Di Jiufeng had to hold it to grow in the dark.
Patting Ning Guang’s shoulder, Di Jiufeng said in a soft voice, “Ning Guang, wait for me a bit longer. Soon I will let the whole cultivation world know that in my heart, there is only you.” With a push, she sent Ning Guang into the line to partic.i.p.ate in the compet.i.tion.
Having received Shifu’s promise, Ning Guang was very happy. But thinking of it, it was all those people making something of nothing who had forced them to act so secretively.
Ning Guang was unhappy, sweeping along with a whiff of cold frost as she walked to the middle-aged cultivator holding the number plates.
The middle-aged cultivator jumped in fright, but did not forget the words of his superiors. When Ning Guang reached into the box, his hand hidden under the box furtively made a seal. “Alright, take your number plate then leave. You are number one, go straight onto the platform to wait. Oh right, do not lose this number plate, hang it at your waist, this way we will be able to calculate scores for you.”
Following Ning Guang up the platform with his eyes, the middle-aged cultivator secretly gave Sui Ying a glance. His lips moved, soundlessly making the shape of a few words.
The spell has a time limit, finish this battle quickly.
Notes:
This chapter was translated by Lily.
“Consciences are clear”: 问心无愧 (wen4 xin1 wu2 kui4), the phrase translated as this, is more literally ‘ask your heart, there is no shame’.