T:N: Merry Christmas everyone! Whether you celebrate Christmas or not I hope you enjoy this early update ^_^
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From that day on Zhao Jin Yu refused to speak to Zhuang Qing, Zhuang Qing"s heart was cold like a chill to his bones on a snow covered winter day, sometimes people are truly very strange, even though they knew doing something would cause harm to another, but he still did it, relying on the face he previously treated her well…, subconsciously he believed no matter what he did she would forgive him.
This wasn"t Zhuang Qing"s entire thought process, but there wasn"t much difference.
Before Zhuang Qing had thought Zhao Jin Yu was a cute little girl, completely dependent on him, listen to him, a person he had finely polished since childhood, everything she did was to his liking.
Only all of a sudden one day, her world was no longer his, if Zhuang Qing used a strong approach,
Zhao Jin Yu would use hunger strike to protest…, once twice, he no longer dared to rush indiscriminately into action, he already felt the griping pain of remorse, he couldn"t take the other person"s hate any more.
With these days Hangzhou welcomed spring, lovely spring sunshine, all living things were revived, it was a season filled with hope, only sadly to the ordinary people of Hangzhou city only despair being dragged on remained.
After the Tiangui sect"s revolt their morale greatly rose, they continued to push their military force to Shangdong, from voluntary donations, to later forcing the transfer of arms and resources, even seeds for the spring were seized.
Seeing that they couldn"t cultivate the land, the ordinary people began to panic, selling their son, selling their daughters, murder and arson, the originally plentiful and healthy Hangzhou city now became a purgatory on earth.
Zhuang Qing always treated Zhao Jin Yu well, even if the entire street outside was scattered with people starving to death, Zhao Jin Yu still lived a life of luxury.
Right until spring left, again a blistering hot summer came, very soon the clear and refreshing autumn weather arrived.
On that night, Zhao Jin Yu lingered in the courtyard stargazing without a word, she was very enchanted, as if looking at the stars were very important, that"s why even when Zhuang Qing softly and quietly walked over she did not notice, or maybe she actually knew, but did not want to care about it that"s all.
The Zhuang Qing today was a little strange, he didn"t leave after taking a look at her like usual, rather he sat beside her.
The autumn breeze gently brought a slight chill, blowing Zhao Jin Yu"s hair about, Zhuang Qing"s watched Zhao Jin Yu with a loving gaze, he couldn"t help reach up to help her push her hair behind her ear, however he very quickly felt Zhao Jin Yu rigidly reject him, he couldn"t help laugh bitterly saying, “Jin Yu, this is the last night we"ll be together.”
Zhao Jin Yu ice like expression finally changed, she moved her eyes to look at Zhuang Qing.
“You"re finally willing to look at older brother?” Zhuang Qing appeared to be extremely happy, his lips couldn"t help but rise into a smile, unconstrained like that carefree elder brother from many years before, with a little proudness, as if making younger sister happy was very important, he said, “You still have older brother in your heart right?”
Zhao Jin Yu very quickly turned her face away, pretending to not have seen Zhuang Qing.
Zhuang Qing only felt it was still touching to have her hair in his hand just now, in a blink Zhao Jin Yu again became cold and detached, his heart throbbed with pain, he clearly had gotten used to it earlier on…
“If older brother said…, I once wanted to marry you, treat you well like how father treats mother, would you believe me?” Zhuang Qing mocked himself saying, “Who could have imagined father would suddenly meet with a mishap, only then did mother tell me…, our family was originally the surviving members of the Tiangui sect, father had a.s.sumed a false name, in case the house would be searched, possessions would be confiscated and the entire family would be exterminated if discovered.”
Zhao Jin Yu blankly looked into the distance, looking like she had heard yet also not heard.
These words had been pushed down in Zhuang Qing"s heart for very long, but as soon as he started he couldn"t quite control it, his voice was both light and gentle, like a light muslin wrapped around the chest, Zhao Jin Yu said to herself with all her might, this person is the Tiangui of the Tiangui sect, no longer someone who allows you to do as you please, the older brother who pampered you, however disappointingly her heart listened.
“Mother said we had to return to the Tiangui sect.” Zhuang Qing said then forced a smile, “And said we couldn"t bring you, it would implicate you, this was best for everyone. Older brother thought it was for your sake, actually thinking about it now leaving you all alone in the capital city, how could that be considered good for you? In fact it was because I was afraid I was powerless to defend even myself, unable to protect you, that"s why I found an excuse that"s all.”
Zhuang Qing placed his hand on Zhao Jin Yu"s shoulder, lightly squeezing it, lowly and huskily he said, “Regardless if you believe it or not, older brother won"t harm you, Jin Yu, live your life well from now on, just as you said…, ever since mother and I abandoned you, you became the eldest young lady of Hangzhou"s Zhao family, unrelated to our Zhuang family.”
Zhao Jin Yu suddenly turned her head to look at Zhuang Qing.
Zhuang Qing saw Zhao Jin Yu pair of clear eyes held a spark of worry, such a brilliance dazzled his eyes, he felt it was ceaselessly appropriate, yet he also felt sick like someone had cut a piece of him with a knife.
All of a sudden he couldn"t help cup Zhao Jin Yu"s face, kissing her enthusiastically.
Zhao Jin Yu was stunned for a while, a familiar taste, a familiar face, the action was powerful but he did not forget to be gentle and careful…, he did not repel it at all, instead there was a kind of gentle scorching feeling, for a split second, she appeared to have returned to their former years.
Zhuang Qing felt Zhao Jin Yu"s compliance, only a buzz was in his head, he simply was unable to reflect on this, all his senses, all his soul was gathered in the middle of those two soft lips. He wanted more, embracing her, wanting her to stay by his side forever.
The emotions in that moment was this intense, so intense he wanted to break the promises he had previously made.
Suddenly his cheek stung with pain, Zhuang Qing saw Zhao Jin Yu who had been in his arms before was ten paces away from him, her expression filled with great scourge, “Xianjun, is your head clear?”
Zhuang Qing held the cheek which had been slapped feeling his heart sink into the abyss, he took a deep breath then said, “Someone will pick you up tomorrow, you only need to go with them, don"t blame older brother for holding you here for so long, older brother only wanted to spend a few more days with you.”
The two sat for a long while, Zhuang Qing saw that it was very late then did he leave reluctantly, he looked at Zhao Jin Yu for the last time profoundly, his gaze was murky, yet it held a warmth like the third month"s warm sun.
“Older brother is leaving, take care of yourself!” His words were low, carrying a limitless melancholy and gentleness, like a peal of wind it blew into Zhao Jin Yu"s heart.
Zhao Jin Yu eyes reddened, tears slowly filling the rim of her eyes, her hands hidden inside her sleeves clenched and unclenched, clenched and unclenched, in the end she did not say anything to keep him behind, since older brother Zhuang Qing had left the capital city, the two of them had already walked down different paths, like two parallel lines, in the end they would never cross.
After a long time Zhao Jin Yu would recall this scene, a crescent moon night, older brother Zhuang Qing"s gentleness, clothes white as snow, similar to when they first met as children.
Only she knew, a lot of things were gone forever.
Following this Zhuang Qing did not show his face, Zhao Jin Yu was taken to the Zhao family, when
Zhao Jin Yu stepped off the palanquin she saw Zhen Zhu standing as customary to the side greeting her, but before words were spoken she was crying, she said, “Eldest young lady, you"re finally back.
The pleasant surprise in Zhao Jin Yu"s eyes were hard to hide, shuddering slightly she asked, “Zhen Zhu, my grandmother…” In the end she still couldn"t finish asking the question.
Zhen Zhu lowered her head choking with sobs, she said, “Eldest young lady, I couldn"t protect the madam, she pa.s.sed away that very day, you need to restrain your grief, accept fate.”
Even though Zhao Jin Yu knew there was mostly no hope for her grandmother, but not being able to see her for the last time made her heart hope slightly, now hearing Zhen Zhu"s words she finally couldn"t help stagger backwards.
“Eldest young lady, you mustn"t cry, it"s the madam"s greatest hope that you be able to live well.”
Although Zhen Zhu said this she herself couldn"t help start crying again.
The two stood together at the gate crying for a while, nanny Li standing to one side also cried for a bit, but in the end with some dignity, she wiped her tears walking over to say, “Zhen Zhu, you were asked to welcome the eldest young lady, how can you make the eldest young lady cry? The eldest old master is still waiting for the eldest young lady to pay her respects.”
Only then did Zhen Zhu stop weeping, she said, “It"s this servant"s impudence, come this way eldest young lady…, the eldest old master hearing the eldest young lady was safe and sound, he was so happy he didn"t sleep last night.”
Ever since she had experienced the gap between life and death, then did Zhao Jin Yu genuinely feel a sense of belonging with the Zhao family, she said, “Grandfather is old, how can his body stand not sleeping for a night?” Having spoken she impatiently sped up her pace, heading towards the main room.
When she entered the central room, Zhao Jin Yu saw the old person sitting on the wooden armchair in the middle, suddenly it was like she was struck by lightning, she had not seen for only half a year, the previously vigorous and hearty appearance became very haggard, his originally half black hair was now already completely white, stooping over at the waist, as if he would be blown over by a breeze, seeing him made people shed tears.
“Jin Yu!” Zhao Xing Kun walked over slightly trembling, supporting himself holding Zhao Jin Yu"s shoulders he hoa.r.s.ely yelled.
“Grandfather, how did you become like this!” Zhao Jin Yu threw herself into the old man"s embrace unable to stop herself from crying loudly and bitterly.
“Don"t cry, don"t cry.” The eldest old master Zhao Xing Kun showed a loving smile, warmly coaxing her he said, “Grandfather is fine, you don"t need to snivel, why are you still like a child?”
Zhao Jin Yu helped the eldest old master back into his chair, taking tea from Zhen Zhu"s steady hands, she kneeled with a plop, saying, “Granddaughter is unfilial, making grandfather worry.”
The rim of the eldest old master"s eyes were red, he repeatedly nodded, saying, “Good child, hurry get up.”
Zhao Zhen Shan who stood by the eldest old master"s side also had tears in his eyes, squatting down he helped Zhao Jin Yu up on behalf of the eldest old master, he said, “Niece, quickly get up.” It appeared Xiao Zhen Shan had returned to the family now, changing his surname he was called Zhao Zhen Shan.
Zhao Jin Yu wiped her tears as she rose, she had cried all the way from the doorway to the central building, her eyes were beyond swollen, Zhen Zhu brought over ice cubes for her to apply to her eyes.
The eldest old master Zhao Xing Kun said, “Your grandmother pa.s.sed away, you also disappeared without a trace from the beginning, I even thought…” The eldest old master started and stopped his eyes reddening again, Zhao Zhen Shan standing to one side said, “Father don"t grief, Jin Yu"s eyes are already beyond red…, it"s been hard for us to reunite as a family, we ought to be happy, mother in the underworld will also feel gratified.”
Zhao Jin Yu discovered, it seems like in less than half a year Zhao Zhen Shan had become another person, suddenly he was responsible and had his own opinion, capable of holding up this family.
Just then with a burst of hurried footsteps outside a husky roar could be heard, “An imperial edict has arrived.”