My Master Disconnected Yet Again

The few of them stood outside of the door, aghast. The screams inside were getting louder and louder. Faintly, they heard something rolling around on the floor. Finally, they gritted their teeth and decided to walk in.

The inside of the palace was in a mess. The tables and chairs were scattered across the floor. Jing Qi had already rolled off the bed. He no longer looked like a ridiculously silly kid as he did before. Instead, he was perspiring all over. His huge belly looked ten times bigger than it did a few days ago. He also looked terribly miserable – his eyes were bloodshot, like he was losing his mind from the pain. Again and again, he knocked his body against the wall.

Lonemoon quickly conjured a seal to keep Jing Qi still and stop him from hurting himself any further. Then, he cast a wind-elemental spell to carry him back onto the bed. Lonemoon attempted to seal his five senses so that Jing Qi would not be in so much pain. Gradually though, he realised that this was not very effective. If anything, Jing Qi"s screams were only getting louder and more painful to hear. After thinking hard for a moment, Lonemoon realised that the disciples watching the door would have done this earlier if they knew it would work. It seemed like the spring changed the dynamics of Jing Qi"s body.

“Save me… save me!” Jing Qi looked at the group of four who had just entered the room. He no longer cared who they were – all he wanted was for the pain to stop.

After pondering for a moment, Lonemoon turned to face Yu Hong. “Yu Hong, go and get a dagger and a pail of hot water!”

Yu Hong paused. For some reason, she could not react. It was Shen Ying who said, “Father Niu, are you going to perform the Caesarean section?”

“Nonsense!” Lonemoon rolled his eyes. “If I don"t do that, how would he deliver the baby?”

“…”

That"s true – none of them could think of anything to say in reply.

They understood why a dagger was needed, but hot water…

“What"s the hot water for?”

“How would I know?” Lonemoon answered. “Don"t they always use that in movies?”

Shen Ying, “…”

Yi Qing: “…”

Suddenly, they felt like Jing Qi"s life was in danger. They began to imagine offering him incense.

“Do any of you know of a better solution?” Lonemoon challenged.

They paused and exchanged meaningful glances. Then, they nodded profusely, like chickens pecking at rice grains on the floor.

“Father Niu, you are right!”

“Father Niu, you are fabulous!”

“Elder Lonemoon, you are really knowledgeable.”

“Elder Lonemoon, you know everything.”

“Get out!” Lonemoon glared at them. “Go and get what I need.”

“Yes, I will do so immediately.” Yu Hong turned around and scurried out of the room. A few seconds later, she returned with the hot water and a dagger. She placed them atop the counter next to the bed.

“Watch him! Don"t let him move about!” Lonemoon gestured for Little Black and Yi Qing to hold Jing Qi down on the bed. He picked up the dagger and walked toward Jing Qi, hyping himself up on the inside. Everything"s alright, everything"s alright. You"re just using a dagger to deliver a baby. Use some water-elemental techniques to treat him and he will be alright. It"s very simple.

Hand! Stop trembling.

Lonemoon took a deep breath and kept his eye on the dagger which was headed straight for Jing Qi"s huge belly.

Suddenly, Jing Qi"s belly glowed with a blinding white light. His belly vibrated, as if something was trying to break out from inside.

Shen Ying narrowed her eyes and turned to face Yi Qing. “Chef, take Red and Black away from here!”

Chef reacted extremely quickly. Before Yu Hong and Little Black realised who Shen Ying was referring to, Yi Qing grabbed them and flew out of the room.

Lonemoon"s collar tightened around his neck as Shen Ying grabbed him from behind and pulled him back.

The next moment, Jing Qi"s stomach burst open, causing the white light to intensify. There was a series of explosions as the entire side palace shattered to pieces. Just like that, the side palace was gone.

An unfamiliar aura emerged. Before Lonemoon could react, he felt his chest tighten. A formidable pressure seemed to be pressing down upon him. Shen Ying pulled him back once again, and the pressure eased immediately. Both of them retreated to the yard.

There, the white light was also getting brighter and brighter. It was expanding to cover more and more of the yard. Everything that the light touched disappeared. A black hole seemed to be forming right there in the Heavenly Palace.

“What is this?” Lonemoon asked, his eyes widening.

At some point, Shen Ying had retrieved the transparent box. She threw it toward the white light. Suddenly, the box expanded and covered the whole side palace. The white light finally stopped expanding.

The palace that had been standing there before disappeared. They could faintly see Jing Qi"s figure floating inside of the white light. He was no longer screaming like a pig being slaughtered. Instead, he was completely still.

“Someone is coming!” Shen Ying suddenly shouted.

“What?” Lonemoon paused.

Before they could gather their thoughts, they saw the air begin to twist. The white light seemed to be condensing on top of Jing Qi"s belly, where the air was twisting. A hole was beginning to form, which slowly swallowed Jing Qi"s body.

Another figure stepped out of the hole. It was a man, wearing a strange white robe. On the robe were many strange patterns as well. He had a head of golden hair which reached all the way to the ground. His face also resembled the Western mythological characters. With eyes the colour of sapphire, he scanned the group contemptuously. Behind him, he had a pair of pure white wings. He looked just like a Western skyG.o.d.

*He"s a new invader! *

Lonemoon"s chest tightened. Before he could react, the other party flew up into the air. Another blinding flash of white light appeared. A heavenly voice echoed throughout the Heavenly Palace.

“Living creatures of this alternate world, I am the exalted G.o.d – Light. I have come to bring you out of suffering. Offer up your humble hearts and become my slaves! Light will always s.h.i.+ne down on you.”

Lonemoon, “…”

Shen Ying, “…”

So here was another… absolute r.e.t.a.r.d?

-_-

The man who called himself Light did not seem to notice Shen Ying and Lonemoon"s reactions. With the arrogant expression stuck on his face, he continued speaking in his heavenly voice.

“Oh, dirty living creatures of this alternate world! You have sinned from the beginning. Sin has contaminated your souls. Only Light can lead you in the right direction. Kneel down and repent of your sins!”

“…”

“I am the most magnanimous G.o.d. Become my followers. This world will become like the world I protect. It will be lit up with Light.”

Lonemoon pursed his lips. Which Western mythology was this man getting his script from? “I say, who the-”

“Stupid sinner,” the man interrupted him and continued, “Your sins will only be cleansed if light s.h.i.+nes upon you. Otherwise, you will be trapped in h.e.l.l forever. Come, be faithful all the way through to your soul. From this day on, I will become the only G.o.d… Ahya!”

Before he could finish speaking, a huge sword dropped down from the sky and cut right through his body, causing him to fall down to the ground headfirst into a pile of mud. Immediately, a bunch of swords rained down from the sky, landing all around the pretentious G.o.d.

Chef had appeared out of nowhere and landed on the ground. He raised his leg and stomped down on the man"s back, just as he was trying to get up. Again, he landed headfirst into a pile of mud.

Shen Ying, “…”

Lonemoon, “…”

-_-

What… what a weak Light G.o.d! So was that white light just for special effects?

Wait a moment!

“Chef, what are you doing? Why are you holding that knife?” Lonemoon ran up to him. “You can"t cut off his wings!” He"s an invader afterall. Could you please control your urge to turn everything into food?

The hand with which Chef held his chopper paused in mid-air. He frowned and kept his chopper. Silently, he conjured a deviant fire.

“You can"t barbeque him either!”

“…” Yi Qing reluctantly put his hand back down.

Shen Ying sighed. “What a pity.”

“Pity my a.s.s!” Lonemoon glared at her. You were the one who taught him all of this nonsense. Ever since Yi Qing came to the lower realm, he had a bad habit of making everything into a meal for Shen Ying. This was getting more and more serious.

“Explain yourself. What"s going on?” Lonemoon glared at the weak G.o.d who had his face buried in the mud. “What kind of imitation is this?”

Shen Ying glanced at the man who was unconscious on the ground. She replied, “I think.. he"s the manager of the world of stupid people.”

Lonemoon, “…”

Yi Qing: “…”

What?

(⊙_⊙)