68 | Settling Dust
Gu Mingxi, jiayou!
Gu Guoxiang saw that Pang Qian was looking at him a bit blankly as she greeted him, “Uncle Gu.” Gu Guoxiang nodded and walked into the house.
Hearing voices, Gu Mingxi walked out from his room. He stood at his door without saying anything. Gu Guoxiang realized that Li Han wasn’t there, so he asked Gu Mingxi, “Mingxi, where’s your mom?”
“She went to the parent-teacher meeting.”
“Oh, today’s a parent-teacher meeting.” Gu Guoxiang nodded, then asked, “You’re going to be heading to college soon. How are your studies recently?”
“The same.” Gu Mingxi glanced at him, and then looked over to Pang Qian at the side, who seemed rather uncomfortable. “Pang Pang, you can go home first.”
Pang Qian immediately packed her things and went home.
Jin Ai’Hua was in her room watching TV. When she was Pang Qian, she asked curiously, “You just went over. You’re home so soon?”
Pang Qian climbed onto her parent’s bed, and said quietly, “Uncle Gu came by.”
“Gu Guoxiang?”
“Mm.”
“Ha! He actually had the gall to come here?” Jin Ai’hua’s face was full of disdain. “Everyone at the factory has heard about his indecent matters. He actually dares to come looking for Ah Han?”
Pang Qian asked curiously, “Mom, what happened with Uncle Gu?”
Jin Ai’hua didn’t say anything for now. “Go, go, go study. Kids shouldn’t bother with these things.”
“Aiya, if you’re acting like this, how can I just go and study.” Pang Qian grabbed onto Jin Ai’hua’s arm and asked cutely, ” Mom, tell me.”
Pang Shuisheng had instructed Jin Ai’hua not to tell Pang Qian about Gu Guoxiang’s situation. But today, Pang Shuisheng had gone to the parent-teacher meeting, and Jin Ai’hua couldn’t stop herself. In the end, she told her.
She said, “Gu Guoxiang’s mistress is pregnant. Recently, she’s been clamoring and forcing him to get divorced.”
Pang Qian, “!”
Gu Guoxiang sat in the living room, waiting for Li Han to come home. Gu Mingxi stood at the side for awhile, and then returned to his room to study.
As he sat there working on the test questions, he heard someone enter his room and walk up to him.
Gu Mingxi didn’t turn around to look. He held down his test paper with his left foot and wrote with his right foot. His table was covered with school supplies like a set square, scratch paper, pencils, erasers… When a large hand pressed down on his shoulder, Gu Mingxi stopped writing with his pen.
Gu Guoxiang stretched over to look at the test paper. Then his eyes moved to Gu Mingxi’s feet. After writing with them for twelve years, his right foot was covered in calluses. Gu Guoxiang realized he hadn’t taken notice of his son’s feet in a long time. What he remembered most was that small foot picking up a pen, a spoon, a toothbrush, images of his son practicing really hard. At that time, Gu Mingxi’s feet were pale and delicate. But now, his feet were already a grown man’s feet. His toes seemed more slender than ordinary people’s. Flexible and powerful, already skilled and familiar with the things they were doing.
Gu Mingxi lifted his head to look at him. From the moment Gu Guoxiang entered the room, he hadn’t greeted him “Dad.” Gu Mingxi knew that Gu Guoxiang hadn’t really treated him poorly, but there are some things that you just can’t make up for by giving a hundred dollars in monthly pocket money or buying someone whatever they wanted. Gu Mingxi wasn’t the kind of person to hold grudges easily. It was the opposite. He was more willing to remember the good in a person. But towards Gu Guoxiang, he really felt terrible for his mother.
His parents used to be an ideal couple, loving and affectionate, the envy of those around them. But they’d ended up in this state now.
Gu Mingxi thought for a moment, and said to him, “Dad, why are you looking for Mom?”
“Mm, there’s something I want to discuss with her.”
Gu Mingxi immediately recalled the talk his father had with him a year earlier. He couldn’t help raising his voice. “Dad! You don’t have to talk to Mom about the things you told me last year. It’s not like you don’t know her. She’d never agree to it! Do you have to make her angry again?!”
Gu Guoxiang’s face darkened a bit. He said, “I know. I’m looking for her for something else.”
Gu Mingxi grew alert as he looked at him. Gu Guoxiang’s gaze softened, and he changed the topic. He asked, “Mingxi, have you thought about which university you want to go to?”
“No,” he answered coldly. “I’ll think about it when the results are out.”
Gu Guoxiang said seriously, “Actually, you should think about it before then. Then you should go to ask the school. Tell the recruiter about your disability and your academic history, and then ask if they’d be able to accept you if your scores were good enough, considering your condition.”
Seeing Gu Mingxi’s face drop, Gu Guoxiang continues, “You can’t be like the other students who wait for their results and then choose a school. If you don’t discuss your situation with the schools beforehand, it’s more likely that they’ll reject you. All the schools can easily reject you for being unable to care for yourself.”
Gu Mingxi said loudly, “I can take care of myself!”
“You can’t take care of yourself 100%,” Gu Guoxiang said. “In the winter, you don’t have any way to take your clothes off. When you go to the cafeteria, you can’t carry your own tray. And what about using the toilet, how are you going to take care of that?”
Gu Mingxi couldn’t answer him.
“I think you should consider your choice of school first. Consult with the school and make sure they won’t reject you.” When he finished speaking, Gu Guoxiang straightened up and walked out of Gu Mingxi’s room.
When Li Han returned, Gu Guoxiang was sitting in the living room smoking. Their gazes crossed, their emotions fluctuating. Gu Guoxiang spoke first. He asked, “You went to the parent-teacher meeting? What did the teacher say about Mingxi?”
Li Han said lightly, “Mingxi’s scores are very stable right now. If nothing happens, he’ll definitely make it into a top university.”
Gu Guoxiang smiled, pleased. “I just knew that Mingxi wouldn’t disappoint me.”
Li Han glanced at him, then walked to Gu Mingxi’s room. She said, “Mingxi, your dad and I have something to talk about. For now, don’t leave your room.”
Gu Mingxi nodded.
In order to prevent him from eavesdropping, Li Han called Gu Guoxiang out to the balcony. She said, “Don’t smoke inside the house. It smells terrible.”
Gu Guoxiang and Li Han spoke for half an hour. When he heard Gu Guoxiang leaving, Gu Mingxi finally walked out of his room.
He asked his mother, “Mom, what did Dad need to talk to you about?”
Li Han’s expression was very calm. She went to the kitchen to make Gu Mingxi a snack. She said, “It’s nothing.”
Gu Mingxi didn’t believe it. He walked over to her and saw Li Han’s eyes were red. Gu Mingxi said, “Mom, don’t treat me like a child. If there’s something that’s making you unhappy, you can tell me.”
Li Han was boiling water on the stove, and she turned to get the dumplings from the refrigerator. Gu Mingxi followed her, “Mom, don’t think that you can’t tell me because you think it will affect my college entrance exam. Actually, if you guys hide it from me like this, then my imagination will run wild. Tell me. What did Dad say to you? Don’t worry, I’m on your side.”
Hearing the last sentence, Li Han’s tears started to roll down her face. She lifted her head to look at Gu Mingxi, and reached out her hand to touch his face. As she sobbed, she said, “Mingxi, your dad and I decided to get divorced.”
– – – –
In the past few years, the Golden Compound underwent many changes. Originally, the four residential buildings there had been filled with people who worked at the metals company. But after the factory moved, a lot of people bought out the houses like Pang Shuisheng. Afterwards, they sold the house again to someone else. Adding on to that, a lot of workers had moved to the new residences in City West. Presently, the Golden Compound was filled with new settlers and unfamiliar faces.
But this place still had some employees from the metals company, like Jin Ai’hua, Zhong Xiaolian, Zhang Jiaqi’s father… Soon enough, with Zhong Xiaolian’s big mouth, she told a lot of people about Gu Guoxiang’s affairs at work. Gu Mingxi finally found out that his father was soon to have a healthy baby. His dream finally came true.
Gu Mingxi tried very hard not to let this information affect himself, but in the end, it still affected him. Sometimes, he and Pang Qian would both sit there, lost in thought. Pang Qian knew that Gu Mingxi wasn’t in a good mood. After eating dinner in the cafeteria and going over some questions, she dragged him out to take a walk at the small park.
She said to Gu Mingxi, with all her years and experience, “You’re already 19 years old. You’re not a little kid anymore. Don’t worry about your parents’ divorce. Who knows, maybe after your mom leaves your dad, she’ll be able to find a better man.”
This method of comforting someone left Gu Mingxi unsure whether he should laugh or cry. Pang Qian kept quacking on, “Your dad’s already 46 years old. If he has a baby now, by the time the baby starts nursery school, your dad will be 50 years old. When he goes to pick up the kid, everyone might think he’s the kid’s grandpa.”
Gu Mingxi smiled, “You’re thinking really far in the future.”
Pang Qian pat his shoulders. “What I’m saying, Gu Mingxi, is that we can’t do anything about your parents’ divorce. You really don’t have to let their matters make you unhappy. They haven’t been fighting for a few days, they’ve been fighting for several years now. Your dad will live in his new house, and he won’t have anything to do with us. All you have to do is get into a good university, and then spend more time with your mom. Of course, if your mom gets a new boyfriend, you also have to be more generous. Don’t just oppose. Your mom’s a special person. She’s just 40-something. My (maternal) grandmother was more than 60 years old when she got married again. Your mom is a lot younger and prettier than her.”
Gu Mingxi stared at Pang Qian. He hadn’t at all expected this girl to make such comments.
She really understood a lot of things Maybe, while no one noticed, she’d already grown up.
But then Pang Qian’s next words made him laugh out loud again. She saw a food vendor in the distance and clapped her hands together. “Hey! The uncle that sells shredded radish pancakes is here! I love eating their shredded radish pancakes! I’ll go buy it. Do you want to eat any?”
Gu Mingxi smiled slightly as he shook his head. Pang Qian pulled out a dollar from her pocket, and then ran over to the vendor to join the group of primary school students waiting to buy their pancakes.
Gu Mingxi looked after her. Pang Qian’s eyes were glued to the uncle frying the pancakes. She licked her lips, and this small habit turned Gu Mingxi’s smile bigger. He really liked Pang Qian too much. Liked her good and pure nature. Liked how simple things made her happy. Liked her optimistic and positive att.i.tude. Liked her childish temperament and how she enjoyed playing and messing around. And he liked that gentleness that would sometimes slip out.
Gu Mingxi knew that a lot of girls liked him, but he couldn’t get along with them naturally. Each of them, whether it was Xiao Yujing, Jiang Zhiya, Li Xiaoyan, Luo Xin… Whenever Gu Mingxi spoke with them, he always saw something particular in their eyes.
They pretended not to care about his disability, but in reality, they minded. When they weren’t careful, their eyes would inevitably land on his empty shirt sleeves. Sometimes he wouldn’t ask for help, but they would make a move to try to help him.
Gu Mingxi knew that these concerns (both caring about and being bothered by) would follow him for the rest of his life. As the years pa.s.sed, their concern would only grow more obvious. He thought, of all the people in his life, the only person who truly didn’t mind was probably Pang Qian.
But sometimes, he would also suspect. Did Pang Qian really not mind?
– – – –
June 7th, 2003 was the college entrance exam. Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi were both extremely prepared by then.
That year, the whole country was raging with [censored]. The testing center looked like a battleground, with lots of people wearing face masks. Before people entered the testing center, they even had to get their temperature taken.
Note: The original text displays ** where I’ve written [censored], though I’m not sure why. Being 2003, I’m going to a.s.sume this is in reference to the SARS outbreak.
Wearing shorts and a t-shirt, Gu Mingxi walked into the testing center. His empty, swinging shirt sleeves were very eye-catching. Pang Qian stayed by his side until they had to split up. Then she made a fist and said, “Gu Mingxi, jiayou!”
Gu Mingxi smiled and nodded towards her. “Pang Pang, you too. Jiayou.”
Outside the window, there wasn’t a single cloud in the blue sky. As the cicadas hummed their song in the trees, the bell rang in the testing center. Gu Mingxi sat at a specially prepared lowered table. He opened his test booklet and picked up his pen with his right foot.
His heart was calm. He looked at the test paper and then smiled.
These few sheets of white paper might change a person’s life entirely.
Pang Pang, he thought, good luck.
Two days later, the college entrance exams concluded. Gu Guoxiang and Li Han went to the Civil Affairs Bureau and ended their more than 20 year long marriage.