Time pa.s.ses and one day I"m told to come to the hokages office. "While out on a mission the sand siblings where attacked and gaara was stolen. The offending ninjas are deidara and sasori of the sand." I"m practically bouncing in excitment I wonder if he will sign my explosion sword?"Your job is to retrieve gaara with a team of your choice and return." She tells me.
"I know the perfect team!" I shout after getting the mission details. Hopping out the window I make my way quickly towards the area and put on a nice disguise. The perfect team for this job is me. Following the ma.s.sive Chakra signature I quickly find the cave they are hidden in which is behind a giant rock with special seals you need to deactivate all at once to move. "it would be a shame if someone where to move it using kamui and completely eliminate any need to do that." Sucking it into my dimension I make my way inside and see a giant statue sucking the one tailed chakra out of gaara.
"Wow is that the gedo mazo?!??" I shout running up to it and quickly storing it in my inventory.
Looking at the shocked members of akatsuki I shout at them. "How can you leave something like that lying around all w.i.l.l.y nilly?!? look what"s happened someone"s gone and stolen it. How will you accomplish your nefarious deeds now?"
"Orochimaru do you know what you have done." Asks a deep voiced image with purple rippled eyes. Yep I disguised myself as Orochimaru.
"Ah Nagato. Shut the f.u.c.k up." I kindly blast the spare images with a chakra wave before throwing gaara in my kamui.
"Deidara I have one simple question for you." I pull out a giant blade with tons of explosion tags covering it. "Will you sign my explosion sword." The man with tears in his eyes pulls out a pen and walks forwards "I"ve been waiting my entire life to see something so beautiful of course I"ll sign it." I quickly dodge a poison scorpion tail and look over to see sasori.
"oi c.u.n.t. p.i.s.s off to the corner and play with your dolls I"m doing something here."
Deidara finally signs my sword looking at the fabled explosion blade of legend. "So how"s the output on this baby?" he asks me.
I quickly swing it at sasori blowing up his weird man scorpion puppet and watching as his heart flies off quickly grabbing it and absorbing the soul and snagging his puppet scrolls. "Pretty good." I reply "Sorry I have some bad habits of stealing things and he had a nice collection of stuff." Deidara gets into his fighting stance.
"Wait I have a proposition that requires your many talents! I want to spread your arts to many nonbelievers in the future and a man of your caliber would be great for the job!" I tell him.
"How much spreading are we talking about here?" he asks eagerly. "Planet sized spreading!" I tell the happy artist.
"Deal! You don"t even have to pay me I"ll do it for free!" The thought of planet sized art had never occurred to the man. but now he had new life goals he even started wondering what would come next could there possible be a universe sized art??!
Knowing what the man was thinking I quickly explain the big bang theory too him. He was an instant believer. He even had some tears in his eyes. "Art really is an explosion. But so is life!"
I quickly make my way back to the hokage office. "Reporting I"ve stolen the akatsukis most prized possession they just had sitting in a cave. Blew up sasori of the sand and robbed him of his puppets. Effectively gotten Deidara as a new friend and he even signed my explosion sword. All in all it was a good day."
"So let me get this straight. You"ve robbed an organization filled with S cla.s.s criminals of their most prized possession right in front of them. Killed one of their members and recruited the other?" she asked me slowly taking out her booze.
"Yes."
"And you think that they are just going to sit back and do absolutely nothing about this am I right?" She asks again slowly taking a gulp of her booze.
"Nope."
"May I have an idea on what your plans are for the upcoming calamity you"ve instilled upon the village?" She asks draining half the bottle of booze.
"It"s all okay."
"Why do you say that?"
"Well I may or may not have been disguised as orochimaru at the time. I heard he does really insane things like raising a pet Uchiha and stealing from the akatsuki."
At this point tsunade is drunk. "I f.u.c.king love you, your a G.o.d d.a.m.n genius!"
I grab some citizenship papers for deidara as I don"t even care if the rock village finds out most of those guys are little s.h.i.ts anyway. Give me one good reason and I"ll have a new library of earth jutsu.
Covered in pink lipstick all over my face I make my way home. It was a really good day.
Making my way inside I start asking the system some question. "if I want to make the ten tails look different am I able to?"
[Possible, what would you like to make the ten tails look like?]
Let me tell you guys the ten tails looks like absolute a.s.s. Like some giant man snail thing.
"I want it to look like the gedo statue. that thing kind of reminds me of Anima from FFX"
[That works seeing as the gedo statue is actually the ten tails sh.e.l.l.]
"Can I slowly start putting my summons Chakra in it so they don"t get damaged?"
[Accepted, Binding Gedo Mazo to host and starting tailed beast integration.]
Sweet. With this I"ll get the truth seeking b.a.l.l.s.
Meanwhile far away. A backup plan was being made where they would use madaras body to store the tailed beasts until they got the statue back. Raids to find orochimaru were to be conducted.