The day had come for the grand meet up of all the different factions. There was me, rias sirzechs, sonia, serafall leviathan, azazel, vali Micheal and his angels. I had stolen serafall and was whispering dark words in her ears and showing off my photo alb.u.m I had recently finished. It mostly contained pictures of her sister in magical girl outfits making s.e.xy poses.
"I"ve beaten your lovely little sister in chess and I"m sure you know what this means. I would like to offer a marriage pact that way I won"t have to separate you two beautiful ladies and we can spend some quality time together. Wouldn"t you just love to hear that strict little sister of your moaning your name in a torn up magical girl outfit before you eat her yourself." my evil words pierced the magical girl to the core making her nose bleed from critical damage.
"I ACCEPT!" she screamed making everyone in the room jump and Sonia look at her in absolute horror.
"Good I"ll make plans to have a sister sandwich later on." I said pointing towards the blushing squirming Rias.
"I"ll provide the s.e.xy magical girl outfits and you can be the evil demon king who plunders our virginity especially for your dark desires." she replied wiping off some drool from her mouth and shaking my hand with a deal well struck.
I lean down and whisper in her ear. "I"ve already plundered Rias." Giving her ear a little nip.
She looks at me with the most jealous face ever with tears in her eyes before giving me a good guy thumbs up.
It was finally time for discussions to start and everyone sat down at the table. There had been many wars between the three factions and most of them were now struggling with population problems. Angels can"t have s.e.x without falling so they were by far the fewest left.
Basically they were just having war after war and not really looking at the future than there were all different types of civil wars in between not to mention other outside factions like hero factions and such killing some of them off.
Not to mention that even if people started breeding right now their birth rate is ridiculously low. There"s always some kind of pay off for long lifespans and that"s usually a low birthrate. when the only thing everyone knows how to do is kill each other eventually you realise. ah s.h.i.t even if we win there"s going to be like 6 people left.
"I"ve called you all here today to bring forth my plans for total world domination. I plan to procure the dragon b.a.l.l.s and wish for a gajillion dollars." I said petting the disguised Ophis on my lap who was in a kitty outfit.
"Once we have the proper funds we buy out all the big corporations and slowly all the world"s bacon will fall into our grasp." I said with an evil chuckle.
Sirzech just facepalmed while the angel faction looked confused. Serafall however had her hand raised and I pointed to her.
"Uh I don"t think this planet has any dragon b.a.l.l.s?" She kindly pointed out.
"Well there goes my plans for this evil meeting I"ll hit the drawing board for better ideas. Sorry everyone no free bacon today." I heard some depressed awws from koneko, ophis, and gir.
"Is he really one of the new dragon emperors?" I heard one of the Fallen angels asking.
"Yeah he"s just a bit different I may have dropped him once when he was a child." sirzech replied. Everyone nodded as they thought this was an acceptable excuse.
"How cruel." I pout out.
Soon enough the real talks were under way as a peace treaty would do all three factions good. everything was all hashed out and ready to sign when all of the sudden. There were explosions and barriers going up.
Your all probably wondering about gasper and his uncontrollable time stopping ability well yeah I stole his sacred gear. so that won"t be happening. Can"t have a half c.o.c.ked vampire being used as a weapon with something as dangerous as time.
Hundreds of different people started popping into existence around the now destroyed building.
"Ophis your group is running wild without you and doing bad stuff I"m going to have to punish them as they blew up the mini-fridge and the game room." I patted the little girl in the cat outfit who huffed angrily as her ice cream was in there. "Punish."
"Gir!" I shouted and listened to the little pitter patter of squeaky feet run towards me.
"Gir reporting for duty." he saluted.
"a.s.sault mode activate. They destroyed the bacon sandwiches I had packed for lunch!" I shouted pointing at the magicians and other beings flying around.
"Affirmitive." he pulled the zipper on his dog costume and stepped out folding it neatly revealing his small robot body with glaring red eyes.
There was a suction sound as his feet planted to the ground and his body bulged up revealing gatling style guns on his arms with small rocket silos on his shoulders.
There was a heavy whirrrr as the guns started to rotate as a high speed.
"Targets acquired. Lethal mode engaged." came out a deeper voice from Gir.
*CLICK* *RATATATA* *WHOOSH* *KABOOM*
Metal bullets and missiles started tearing through the group of invaders like b.u.t.ter before they even knew what was happening.
From the side I could hear azazel scream. "What the h.e.l.l is wrong with your dog?" over Girs mad cackles.
"I"ve raised them to think wasting bacon is a great sin he"s learned well." I shouted back.
I turned to look at vali who was nearby covered in the rain of gore and horror.
"Are you going to move or do you want me to do the preemptive strike." I asked him
"how did you....?" before he could finish I flashed over to him and no grabbed him by the face tearing out his sacred gear.
Azazel gave me a confused look. "He"s part of the Khaos brigade." I said tossing him out into the crowd.
"Hahaha I bet you guys never expected this soon the new Satan faction will fall and...." I hear the sound of my insane new maid screaming and look up sure enough there"s the gla.s.ses wearing tanned big t.i.ttied devil.
my wings come out with my full armor and I push off towards her cracking the ground from pressure. With a nice Crack I give her the cla.s.sic neck chop and kidnap her to the kingdom. "Free new maid sweet."
I notice a portal pop out and discretely steal vali. I"m not too worried about them they only like to fight and have fun. The problem would be the psychos who want to pretty much kill everyone off.
"Well looks like everyone has a new enemy to fight against. Such joy! now we can all unite and do whatever it is united factions do." I said ignoring the odd looks I was getting and the screaming Gir who was crying over the remains of the minifridge.