"_Cui bono?_" I said. "Is there any pleasure on this earth comparable to the pleasure of acquiring knowledge? Is there any satisfaction equal to the continuous pursuit of ideas--always coming up to them, and pa.s.sing them in the insatiable thirst and pursuit? Now, I see clearly that my tastes are not your tastes, and I was wrong in forcing the studies of the cla.s.sics upon you. But take up philosophy, arrange a _horarium_ for the evenings--so much time for reading, so much for thinking, so much for writing--"
"Ah! there you"ve struck it," he broke in. "If I could only write, I should always have an incentive, and a strong incentive for reading and studying what I read."
"And why don"t you write?" I repeated. "Paper is cheap; pens and ink don"t cost much--"
"Write for what, and for whom?" he cried.
"Write for the magazines," I said. "Write brisk, crisp, lively articles for our reviews and periodicals; get paid for them; and then the ineffable pleasure of seeing your own work in print!"
"And what if they were rejected contumeliously?"
"Impossible," I replied; "there is room and to spare for good writers.
Why, we are always crying out about the barrenness of our literature!"
He had gone over to a portfolio, and had taken out a few rolls of ma.n.u.script, to each of which a letter was tagged. He handed them to me without a word. It needed only a glance to see that if the editors had used up all the polite words of the language, nevertheless, "Rejected!"
was written in capital letters on every page. I knew well what it meant to a proud, sensitive spirit; and although it was only the usual probation for literary novices, it might have a different effect from successful training in the case of a thoughtful if irritable mind. I pretended to read carefully the two essays, the three short stories, and the half-dozen poems that had come back to the author"s hands without proofs, whilst I was rapidly turning over in my mind what I should say or do; for the recollection of my own experience at his age led me to believe that this was a critical moment for him. Happy the stupid souls that can gaze, without the constant fretting of thought, into the fire for hours together! Happy we, who, going down the decline of life, have the brake put on by a merciful Providence, and the wheels move slowly, and day blends with night, and night dawns to day, almost imperceptibly!
But thrice unhappy they in whose souls the mills of thought whirl round and round without ceasing the wheelstones that grind together, if the grist is not between! How often to dreaming poet and idealist has the eternal fretting of the wheels become intolerable, and then--
"I shouldn"t mind," he interjected on my reverie, "but these papers issue such lamentable stuff! Such vapid essays, such aimless stories, such bread-and-b.u.t.ter school-girl poetry,--"sing" and "spring," "bird"
and "heard,"--not an elevating idea or thought through the whole thing from beginning to end; and then look at these: "We consider your story too long;" "We regret that the style of your article is unsuited to our pages;" "We see some promise in your poem, but it is not quite up to the level of our requirements;" "Try blank verse.... We shall be glad to hear from you again." Did you ever hear such mockery, and these very men printing such intolerable rubbish!"
Of course, he never thought of the poor editor, leaning over his chair in a brown study, biting the pen-handle, and wondering how he can please "A Constant Subscriber," who objects to the rather light nature of the articles he is now giving to the public; or, "Sacerdos," who does not like poetry; or, "Senex," who asks sarcastically: Is he putting himself in rivalry with the "Edinburgh" or "Quarterly," or who the mischief cares one bra.s.s pin about "Aristotle"s Const.i.tution of Athens;" and wouldn"t he give them something light and agreeable to help to digest their dinners? Oh no! he only thought then and there that there should be an _auto da fe_,--a summary crematory process of all the editors under the sun.
"Look here, young man," said I, at last, "there is only one thing for you to do. You must write a book."
"Look here, Father Dan," said he, "I"m not in much humor for joking. Any priest that would attempt to write a book nowadays should have the spirit of the martyrs, who stepped onto the sands in the Coliseum and saw the brutal Romans in the _auditorium_ and wild beasts in the cages beneath!"
"Well, my dear boy," I replied, "you _will_ write the book; but for goodness" sake write it in your present humor, before the fires die down."
He laughed.
"Write a book? What in the world should I write about? The world is deluged and drowned by books. And if I wrote it, who could or would publish it? Imagine me hawking around a wretched ma.n.u.script from publisher to publisher, until it was tattered, yellow, and undecipherable. Why, the big London fellows accept only ten MSS. out of five hundred on the average, and you know I cannot publish at my own risk."
"Who the mischief spoke about publishing?" I replied, trying to keep up the flame; "I only asked you to write. Write, write, write, and leave the publishing to G.o.d."
"And what am I to write about? Every subject under the sun is threshed out and threadbare, from the origin of ideas down to the microbe of typhoid fever. Not at all; the world is grown too wise for books; we must devise something else."
"It is not many days ago," I replied, "since I heard you lament the awful and culpable defects in our popular Catholic literature. Hadn"t you to fall back upon that barbarous book to enlighten Ormsby on the existence of his immortal soul?"
"Barbarous? I wish to heaven that I could write anything half as good.
But, as you see, there are whole fields of literature yet untrodden by us, but where heretics and others are reaping rich harvests. Yet, who would dare make the attempt? Don"t you know that the ablest professors in your own time in Maynooth never ventured into print? They dreaded the chance shots from behind the hedge from the barrels of those masked banditti, called "critics.""
"Dear me, how you do run on! One would think you had the MS. cut and dry in your pocket, you talk so glibly about publishers and critics. Can"t you write the book first and then take circ.u.mstances as they occur?"
"Well, go on, suggest a subject, sir."
"Now, this is rather sudden, young man. Give me one day, and I"ll give you a list of subjects that would bewilder you! Only promise me you"ll take one up."
"All right!" said he; "I promise. Hallo! where are you taking those papers?"
"I"m taking them home for the present. They are confiscated to the Crown."
He looked at them wistfully, as if they were going to the holocaust, as we might imagine the great mother of the Maccabees watched half with pain, half with pride, wholly with resignation, her sons mount the funeral pyre.
[Ill.u.s.tration: "It broke in my fingers and revealed the little dreams and ambitions of nearly forty years ago."]
"Never fear," I replied, "they won"t go up the chimney. At least, I"ll answer for the prose. I"m not so sure about the poetry. Now, good day!
I"ll keep you to your promise."
And I did, but with what cost to myself. I had to search in the cemeteries of the past for the skeletons of designs, once gladly adopted, then as gladly laid to rest. At last, I found, hidden away amongst episcopal doc.u.ments, dispensations, etc., a yellow, frayed paper, tied up in string that once was red, but now was white and fragile. It broke in my fingers and revealed the little dreams and ambitions of nearly forty years ago. Need I say they never ripened, or came within even measurable distance of perfection. They were three large quarto sheets, and they were darkened thus:--
A. M. D. G.
_Subjects for Articles and Papers to be written, wholly or partially, during the Coming Years_.
I. MENTAL PHILOSOPHY.
I. The Influence of Plato on the Early Christian Church.
II. The Influence of Aristotle on the Mediaeval Church.
III. The Neo-Platonists.
IV. The Argument in St. Augustine on the Immortality of the Soul. (Is it Tenable?)
V. The Atomic Theory of Democritus, and the Modern Discoveries in Astronomy.
VI. The Influence of the Inductive Philosophy on Modern Disbelief.
VII. Was Spinoza an Atheist?
VIII. Is Descartes the Father of Modern Rationalism?
IX. St. Anselm"s Proof of the Existence of G.o.d.
X. The Cosmological Argument of St. John Damascene.
XI. The Argument from Intuition.
XII. Aspects of Modern Pantheism.
XIII. Christian Idealism.
XIV. Malebranche and Fenelon.
XV. Boethius.
XVI. Catholic Philosophers of the Nineteenth Century.