My new life, won't you please become peaceful!

Looking back at what happened the other day, I sighed while waiting for the ritual to commence. After handsomely proclaiming my views, nothing much happened, we all dispersed back to our homes. I could remember Nigel wanting to say something but he ended up not saying anything, not even when we parted that day.

The sealing ritual of the power of darkness would need to wait till the night where two moons coexist, which is in three days…don’t ask me what the night where two moons coexist is cause I’ve no idea. While waiting, something happened…at home.

Mother…d.u.c.h.ess Bedivere holed herself up in her room, weeping, she still has not stopped crying at this moment. As for father, who sleeps in the same room as mother, he had to find another spare room to sleep in, good thing we’ve got plenty of rooms or else he would’ve been sleeping in the doorway.

Father…Duke Bedivere had been silent since that day, every time he looked at me, his eyes would show a glint of sorrow…I understand, I’m the eldest child, next in line as Duke but after the ritual, in addition to being reduced to someone who’s completely unable to use magic, I won’t be able to have an heir either, ummm…it truly is woeful. However, if you asked me if I was stressed out? Well…not really.

Me, myself and I is an outsider to this world, I’ve come from a different dimension, something like having to become the Duke gives me headaches, I don’t care about statuses. Magic? Even when I was capable of magic, I couldn’t be bothered enough to train, having or not having the ability to use magic wouldn’t be much of a difference.

Possibility of erectile dysfuncti…ahem! let’s just say, in my last life…ummm…I wasn’t able to have a girlfriend so, I didn’t have an opportunity to use that part of my body, I think…I probably won’t be upset over this… Truthfully, this is rather pitiful…but it’s a dismal thing to talk about, since my last world to this, I’d rather not say it…

In the game, Ca.s.s Bedivere was not executed at the ceremony from the other day and he’s only able to use a tiny amount of magic was it caused by the ritual? Because he had the power of darkness, this lead to his power having to be sealed and guess what, the one who’s performing the seal is a future Duke, Gilbert bedivere. This lead to cold shoulders being given to Ca.s.s by the Bedivere household. Thinking about it, Gilbert Bedivere rarely used his power in the game, was it because he’d lost all of his power in order to seal Ca.s.s Bedivere?

No, that’s incorrect. In the anime, there were times where Gilbert Bedivere used his power, does it mean that his power might not have been completely depleted?

Or was there a stand-in?

Now that you’ve said it, there was once where Gilbert used his power to summon his guardian angel in order to protect Ca.s.s before confessing his romantic feelings which poured from the depths of his heart to Ca.s.s. Hmmm. Ahhh, whatever.

I closed my eyes and rolled around for a while. the moment I fell asleep, suddenly, I strangely thought of my psychotic fujoshi younger sister. If she was still here, what would it be like?

Sometimes…a world where you don’t exist, it truly is lonely.

You idiotic lil’s sis.

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Finally, the day of the ritual arrived…I’m not excited at alllllllll. It’s just that I couldn’t fall asleepppp. I trotted behind my father’s back to the same Cathedral which was used for the previous ceremony, the summoning of the G.o.ds. The Cathedral gave off the same feeling as a pig’s pen, I a pig, am going to make his biggest ever sacrifice at the age of 7 years old! Is there even anyone who’s got more guts than me…

I followed tipsily behind my fathers back like a drunkard. We walked towards the Dukes, who were gathered together just like that day, all the to-be Dukes lined themselves up in a straight line, just like that day, I was only afraid of one thing…I hope there won’t be any surprises like that day.

I walked, swaying from side to side like a penguin to Nigel like usual but Nigel unexpectedly flinched and turned his head the other way, if I were an actual child, with the brains of an actual child, I wouldn’t have seen that and would have continued to walk towards him but I’m not, it’s best if I go stand with father.

We stood still, shortly afterwards, a train of priests made their entrance. As they entered, they uttered a speech which I wasn’t paying attention to, the next thing I knew, father tapped me on my shoulder and handed my younger brother to me. “You have to walked towards the centre of the magic circle…”, father said slowly, “place Ca.s.s in the direction towards the north of the magic circle after that you don’t have to do anything, just stand still, the priests will handle the rest.”

Oh ok, that’s not hard, I nodded and held out my hand. My father raised an eyebrow. “May I have a compa.s.s.” ultimately, father held my hand and carried Ca.s.s to the designated spot.

After father resumed his position in the crowd as Duke Bedivere, I was going to yawn but I accidentally saw, at the corner of my eye, Haref’s rainbow coloured eyes glaring at me reprimandingly…fine, I placed my hands together, in an attempt to appear well mannered.

The melody became increasingly loud. I could feel warmth slithering up my body along with light, laced user my feet. The magic circle’s shape started to slowly move in a clockwise direction. I saw that there was nothing interesting going on so, I decided to look up at the two moons.

I don’t know how much time has pa.s.sed since there aren’t any clocks nearby but I could still hear the melodies flowing into my ear…such a pleasant sound. Could this possibly be the hook*, they’ve been singing it over and over again…Ugh!My head! I’ve been attacked! I swiftly turned to face those pair of glaring eyes…oh, it’s him again, better not glare back.

“…Gilbert Bedivere, it’s time to drop your blood onto the magic circle!” I nodded obediently and found something to slit a part of my body with…I caught a dagger by my foot at the corner of my eyes, is this the weapon you threw which happened to hit my head, Haref? I used to wonder why he went down the SM route, now, I could kinda guess the reason…

I unsheathed the dagger, took a deep breath and slit the tip of my finger, a drop of blood skydived down onto the magic circle, I was afraid there wouldn’t be enough blood so, I added two or three more drops onto the magic circle…I’ll only give you this much, I would be scared to death if it was more than this! In my last life, anyone who had a dagger on them in public could potentially be arrested you know! I waited and nothin flew towards my head anymore…this was a sign saying I’ve done the right thing!

For my own safety, I put the dagger back into its scabbard** and threw it outside the magic circle before stating in my position…a new verse began. In a short span of time, the magic circle’s light glowed brighter and brighter accompanied by the magic circle steadily rose above the ground and began to turn rapidly in a circular motion.

I think the ritual’s coming to an end soon. Good bye…all my sons in the future, who will never get the chance to be born. I wiped tears off the corners of my eyes, I have to sacrifice you guys for a cute lil’ bro! Good thing, in the game, he’s gonna grow into an angel, if he was to grow up and have Haref’s future physique, I wouldn’t be investing this much into my lil’ bro, there’s even a chance I would force dust down his throat if he were to grow up and become like Haref’s future self.

Just kidding, a younger brother value’s will always be held above everyone, whether they’re a friend, a girlfriend or a future son ( who probably doesn’t exist )!

Light from the magic circle shone even brighter.

Dear psychotic fujoshi lil’ sis, since there’s an example like you, this lil’ bro, I’ll take care of him real good, there aren’t any games in this world, no anime to get addicted to, no doujinshi, so, he definitely won’t grow up and become like you! I prayed in my heart while the ceremony came to an end. When I thought about my psychotic fujoshi lil’ sis, a BL related thought sailed into my head.

I’ve forgotten something…

If this ritual made Gilbert Bedivere unable to have an heir…

“Don’t look at me like that I’m grown up! Another thing, it’s for anatomy references…tsk, don’t start nagging me. Let’s just say ‘Ushinawareta Hoshi’ is a game with scenes, do you understand what I’m telling you? If you go into Ca.s.s’ route or Nigel’s 3P route, it won’t be just cuddling, kissing or subtle touching but it would be….cough! cough!”

Where did the incest route and the 3P route came from then? My face paled, wait…it’s true there’s a way but not as a man among men, not as a top but…but…

But before I knew it, the ritual had come to an end. SCREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!

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I feel like Nigel’s been deliberately avoiding me for a while now. Well, I’m not so much of an idiot that I won’t be able to tell that my status as a future Duke is pretty unstable right now. All the Dukes had promised they’ll keep Ca.s.s’ seal and my inability to use magic a secret but obviously, there’s no such thing as a free pact, the world’s not such a forgiving place, my father probably had to pay a considerable amount of  ‘hush money’.

Maybe…my father’s status is at a disadvantage right now: he was blackmailed, had to pay sky-high hush money, after this, whatever action he takes would be difficult. He would need to submit to others or else his secret would be out of the bag and his secret was not some stupid crime, for Ca.s.s, he could be exiled, for me, a subsidiary household would take my place as Duke.

This could be called an unlucky year for father…oh well, let’s just find time to go and tell father to spy on the other Dukes incase they’ve got some hidden mistresses tucked somewhere, this kind of thing is as good as blackmailing can get! If not then we can just create evidence! I’m sure if we poisoned a Duke with v.i.a.g.r.a…ahem! Then, we’ll drag him to a men x men’s brothel and make a fuss about it so there will be spectators…that’s enough, I should remove myself from the BL world before I become a fudanshi***…cause right now, my body’s real risky.

I sighed and sipped on tea…I really miss Nigel.

Nigel”s…huggable!

Nigel’s…snuggle-able!

Nigel’s…molest-able!

But…

“Looking at me like that, do you have a death wish huh, Gilbert Bedivere.” A pair of rainbow coloured eyes stared daggers at me. This prompted me to act like a good servant and pour him tea. I could hear a “heh” in contempt from him before he lifted the tea cup and sipped on it. Haref, who’s not huggable, not snuggle-able and not molest-able is sitting in my mansion at this moment.

I looked dejectedly at the other, “I just miss Nigel…”. No matter how cute Ca.s.s Bedivere is but I’m a philanderer, sometimes, having a lot of younger brothers is naturally better than only having one.

Haref sat still momentarily, he put down his tea cup, “Nigel’s status isn’t the same ours, he’s also…got to do some thinking”.

“Why would you want to do some thinking if you’re a child…”, I sighed, “why do you all want to grow up quickly so much?” Growing up isn’t as beautiful as the picture in your mind. “The Gawain household…could be considered special”, Haref pretended to not hear what I’ve just said, “this is because, every generation of the household must become the leader of the knights of the round table.” I raised my eyebrows, I was not informed, “even if Lancelot’s lineage is more powerful?”

“Yes, even if Lancelot’s lineage is more powerful”, the son of Lancelot uttered with a ridiculing smile, “but, being the most powerful doesn’t mean you can become a leader, right? Choosing a leader according to how powerful they are, only barbarians would do something like that…”

“Then, what’s so good about the Gawain household that they’re able to become the leader?”

“Who knows…”, Haref said lethargically and raised a smile, a smile which was charismatic enough to kill someone, “none of us know how good he is until we can see him in action, that is Nigel’s duty to prove himself and make us ‘accept’ him with ‘everything’ he has”.

Ummm…

An 18+ orgy scene just drifted into my head out of nowhere.

Dammit!

Losing my ability to get it up had lead to other things being loss too. ( like my sanity )

“Your status right now isn’t faring well either”, Haref caressed the tea cup’s rim, “you can’t have an heir, without magic, without abilities…it’s not strange Nigel’s avoiding you, I think he’s confused on what to do with you right now”.

I raised an eyebrow, “like…how he’ll behave around me?”.

“No matter how s.h.i.tty a n.o.ble may be, if they’re able to have an heir, they’ll be able to survive”, he briefly said…and he’s probably also insulting me, “but if they’re s.h.i.tty and can’t have an heir…do you think they’ll be able to keep their status?” Now that I think about it, aren’t Dukes just basically riding on their parent’s coattails. Naturally, I did not tell Haref that cause I might get a slap in return so, I changed my mind and smiled at him, in attempt to flatter him, “but well…now that Nigel’s ignored me and all the other to-be Dukes don’t want to make friends with me…then why is the formidable Sir Haref Lancelot still here?”, I said teasingly. This made Haref, who was drinking tea, flinch. I can see it coming, his face will turn into pure irritation, he’ll use abusive words to reply, then, he’ll storm back to his home. No mater how aggressive he may appear, you’ve gotta accept it, with his gorgeous countenance, his action of storming off someone’s house is really something.

But that’s a shame.

None of this happened, he suddenly broke into a smile, a smile laced with malice, “My father had taught me, when you see someone down in the dumps, you should stand beside them…”. He lowered his eyelids as if he’s deep in thought, this made me have gooseb.u.mps, even more when he motioned his mouth, uttering soundless words…and I was unfortunate enough to understand it…

His sentence made my mind jump in chaos like I’ve just received an electric shock.

“Look at that person who’s down in the dumps, then when the prey’s in their last hours of life, leisurely help them…”

Just like daggers to my heart.

This adorable child had commenced his journey down the SM route…

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*hook = the catchiest part in a song

**scabbard = Sword/dagger’s cover

***fudanshi = fundamentally, a men version of fujoshi

I didn’t know what the author meant when Haref said help them when they’re near death cause the phrase’s got double meanings:

SPOILER: