My new life, won't you please become peaceful!

Chapter 12

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I’m hugging my pillow and crying at the same time.

Nigel’s forgotten about me.

He’s got someone else!

Obviously the new person he’s going out with is Haref. No, he’s not going out with a new person, I was just a third wheeler. I can’t possibly do anything apart from backing away…

It’s sad…

I closed my eyes and recalled what happened this morning, when I walked into the Gawain mansion to see Nigel, he refused to come out so, I could only go and vent my confusion to Haref. I don’t know if it was out of annoyance or what, Haref went to see Nigel…Nigel unexpectedly came out!

He came out to welcome Haref personally!

What can I, who’s sitting on the carriage, do apart from hug a pillow and cry! Showing up now would just break my heart… Real life is worse than a T.V. program, cry… I rolled around until Haref returned, I dived into him, “Why did Nigel come out to see you and not me…”.

Double standard. Is it cause I’m not attractive enough or is my status not high enough, was this why you’ve been ignoring me. Nigel…don’t grow up to become a gold digger!

Haref’s rainbow coloured eye looked at me in annoyance, he pushed my head away, “I’ve already told you, your status right now is troubling Nigel”.

“He doesn’t like me?”

“It’s not like he dislikes you but it’s hard…to put it simply, he’s not thought of what he’d do with you yet so he could only be frank with you”, when we sat down properly, the carriage started moving, “if you think about it selfishly…what good would being with you be? Since all the other households holds your secret, wouldn’t it be better to build relationships with the other households instead of continuing a relationship with a more or less dead one”.

…Is this the view of an 8 years old or the vision of an 80 years old business man.

Wicked.

I wiped my tears filled with sorrow away, “But I have sincerity”.

“We have your secret, if you’re not sincere…”, his voice faded away but I knew the implications…the world is way too cruel!

After a while of conversing, I knew I couldn’t do anything. It troubles me how all the other 11 households have our secret but we don’t have their’s! Nigel is a Gawain who’s got gynophobia, then what? He’s attractive, not like he’ll have a problem finding a d.u.c.h.ess. There’s also a possibility that girls will think of him as ‘totally adorbs!’ or something along those lines.

I’ve started to become envious of Nigel.

Haref lowered his rainbow coloured eyes, “Let Nigel think for now, you’ll know when he comes to a decision”. I nodded, I hope he’ll come to a good decision. Out of all of Ca.s.s’ suitors, Nigel was the first person I met, Nigel is incredibly kind, cute and gentle. If Ca.s.s is my number younger brother then naturally, Nigel is my number one friend. Haref’s a good guy but I’m too scared of him so he’s my number 1.5 friend. Hm? Salsaal? …ummm…it’s best if I don’t speak of it.

Thinking back on that day, I still feel good…still feel good that nothing’s happened, no soldier came to arrest and drag my head to Salsaal for him to kick around. I don’t know whether it’s because his father pays him no attention or is it his daily routine to scream and everyone got used to it. The carriage kept moving until it stopped. Haref opened the curtains and walked down from the carriage, I waved at him as a sign of parting but the white hair guy scrunched his brows together.

“Why aren’t you coming down?”

“Hm?”, I raised my eyebrows, or is it that Haref’s come to send me off before going back to his mansion, when did he become such a good guy?!

O-Or is he taking pity on me! Is it a main character’s pity on a side character?! I understand you’ve already got the main character ( Nigel ) anyways…

He saw that I wasn’t moving an inch so his face shown even more annoyance, this made me have to hurry down the carriage and smiled listlessly at him. What I saw in front of me was…

Thi-This is…

“Welcome to the Lancelot mansion, you’re staying here tonight.”

I don’t need thissssssssssssssssssssssss.

“H-Hi”, d.u.c.h.ess Lancelot came out to greet me with a faint smile. She looks…so ordinary. If you compare her with my mother who’s got the drill hairstyle…I mean beautiful curls, this woman is super ordinary. Basically, she’s the girl next door type, the kind who would have plaits and would be constantly baking bread, a bland side character…I can’t believe she’s the almighty, Haref Lancelot’s mother. I asked the person beside me in a whisper, “Is this…your step mother?”

“She gave birth to me.”

Um…maybe I’m questioning the wrong thing. I whispered to him again, “Did your father force himself onto her?”.

Those rainbow coloured eyes glanced at me, “The latest person who asked this question in front of my father’s face was buried not long ago…”.

Oh, ok, so this is like the household’s taboo question, I understand so, I won’t snoop around d.u.c.h.ess Lancelot’s life again.

d.u.c.h.ess Lancelot smiled slightly and excused herself. Her actions make her seem as if she’s scared of her own son, I couldn’t resist being curious. I wanted to ask him what kinda cruelty act did he do in front of her or did he show his S side in front of her…but I still want to live so, I’ll shut my mouth for now.

Haref led me to the room I’ll be staying in tonight and he left directly afterwards. I looked searchingly around the room, this room is pretty, it has a light blue colour scheme, I quite like it, the only bad thing is that Ca.s.s Bedivere, in other words a cute underage boy isn’t here, if there were one I would rejoice more… I wanna cry when I think of my lil’ bro, I don’t get to hug Ca.s.s tonight! But…the other side is Haref, I’m scared that if I made a fuss I would get punched which is why I kept my mouth shut, calmed myself down, wiped my tears and went to have a shower.

I walked out in my girly lace pyjamas, looked at myself in the mirror and started combing my hair. I didn’t look after myself well enough in my last life but my new life’s body is totally adorable, totally in my lil’ bro strike zone, that’s why I’ve got to take real good care of this body. My golden hair is now longer than shoulder length, I’ve thought of growing it out cause apart from looking like a respectful youngster in the future just like in the anime, I can also set my hair in any hairstyle I want…this is called being prepared for the future incase I’ll go into cosplaying if my lil’ bro won’t let me leech off him.

I spun and looked at myself in the mirror until I was content and climbed up on the bed.

Goodnight…………….

………………

….

I feel uncomfortable.

I feel as if I’m being violated but I couldn’t open my eyes.

I panted.

Something’s pressing on my waist.

Something’s around my neck.

I could hear someone breathing…

This made me get gooseb.u.mps, it’s the same feeling as sleep paralysis from one of those paranormal activity horror movies but I’m ‘scared’ because this is a BL game…

I know full well that someone is breathing on my neck, I pressed my feelings down and forced my eyes open.

What I saw was the ceiling.

I don’t have enough courage to turn sideways and look at my side, I’m partly scared…scared that it’ll be a ghost and scared that it might be a person.

So, I looked at my waist and saw a slim arm half hugging me.

I regained part of my sense so, I could feel warmth radiating from the mysterious body, this definitely wasn’t a ghost but a person, I paled…not Haref right? My life won’t go down the cliche af route, something like Haref was in a blur and entered the wrong room after that he’ll sleep walk and hug me, after that touching me, then s.e.xually hara.s.sing me and finally he will wake up, embarra.s.sed…

But that’s a plot…bu-but if it’s actually Haref, if I do something weird I can guarantee that it won’t be so great in the morning, the morning would probably be filled with blood, my blood, cause Haref would be kicking me like a sand bag if I were to s.e.xually hara.s.s him in his sleep!

I slowly opened my eyes and clenched my teeth, I tried to be as calm as possible while removing the arm which is laying on my waist…I’ve never concentrated so much before, not even when I was revising for exams!

After I was able to remove the hand from my waist I heaved a sigh of relief…phew…I might have to go sleep on the floor to protect my life, I turned to Haref who’s sleeping, my face froze in a smile…because this person wasn’t Haref but someone more terrible.

The person who’s been lying on my bed was ‘d.u.c.h.ess Lancelot’.

Funeral music played inside my head along with chills.

…………………………

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AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Author’s note:

How did mama Haref appear in Gil’s room, was it the son’s intention? Gil was in a blur? Or is it a curse of love from Salsael, who’s got the support type of power?

Let’s start on a negative note:STOP SPOILINGIt’s not fun for any of us so cut it out!I’m not translation an ancient Greek tragedy here so stop telling everyone what happensMachine translate isn’t great, it’s good for other languages but not ThaiI’ve seen some spoilers from people who machine translated the novel and boy, were they so wrongYou can clearly see the author doesn’t want the plot to be revealed so easily from the author’s notes which were from like last year. So, let’s not spoil everythingIt’s part of the fun to speculate what happens

P.S I won’t approve of any comments which are spoilers

P.S 2 There is a forum for spoiling the novel but from what I could see, none of them are right

P.S 3 Speculating is completely fine unless you spoil in the name of speculation, that won’t be fine

End of rant.

I’ve decided to post the characters’ images again because the author’s notes are rather long so I’ll be posting one character’s image + author’s note on them in each chapter ( until we run out of characters )Gilbert Bedivere

From Author’s Facebook post:

Day 1 – Gilbert BedivereDuke Bedivere’s eldest sonIncest route’s ownerHis younger sister and younger brother are his everythingHe tortures his elder brother

Thoughts from his lover : “If you ignore his face then he’s my type.”

Thoughts from his younger brother: “Is a good brother but has a weird way of thinking.”

Thoughts from his childhood friend: “…”

Thought from to-be Dukes: “We never thought someone useless like him could stand here today.”

Thoughts from the same s.e.x: “We look over him sometimes since his friends, Haref and Nigel’s looks are otherworldly.”

Thoughts from the opposite s.e.x: “Omg his friends!”

Yay~ another chapter finished, this was probably the shortest one so far. I’ve just watched 1989’s Heather and was surprised by how different the characters were from the broadway. I could feel more love from the broadway version though.

Anyways~ till next time

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