Silence.A silence that could have cut through their skins crept in between them. Jim"s hold on her was tight, but his own hands shivered. His eyes were black, like a storm brooding, waiting for something to explode.
Miya trembled, the low, curt smile disappearing from her lips. Her face paled. Her eyes lost the menace in them almost immediately, instead being replaced by a tempest of emotions that left her sh.e.l.l shocked.
Quietly, Jimmy let go of her hands. His heart was numb, yet volatile. Without a thought, he put his arms around the frail girl"s head and embraced her. He was still towering over her, and she barely reached his stomach, but he could feel the shiver of her head against his torso.
Miya remained seated, not moving a single inch. She let Jim hug her, her entire body trembling.
"I"m sorry."
Jim"s words were so quiet, she almost didn"t hear them. He didn"t know what else to say. He pressed her harder into himself, praying she would stop shaking.
Minutes pa.s.sed. The silence grew deafening. It scared him.
"What happened then?"
His words were tight again. He knew he had promised her that they wouldn"t share anything they didn"t want to. But right then, he needed her to react in some way. Anything, that told him she wasn"t suffering alone, without letting him in at all.
Miya didn"t speak. The tremble in her body became less intense though, and slowly, Jim felt her draw her head away from him. She didn"t pull away completely, just enough so that only her forehead remained pressed into his stomach.
Her voice was rough.
"Kanashii wasn"t in the house that day."
Jim"s heart dropped. "And?"
"Tao hit me." Another violent tremble ran through her body.
"It was broad daylight…
He dragged me out of the house. He slapped me and – it was the first time he had gotten violent in front of anyone else. B-But Kanashii had hit me publicly too many times, the villagers didn"t think anything was wrong. They were superst.i.tious, they thought I was possessed by an evil spirit back then. Like I said… I was a quiet, distant kid, Jimmy. And silence is almost always an affirmation of guilt." Miya was choking on her breath.
"I tried calling for help, but no one came. It was normal in our world. There were victimized children all around."
Jimmy"s hands balled into fists behind her head.
"Tao dragged me to the same forest," her words were coming in between gasps now, "He told me he would get rid of me. He said he would send me so far away, I"d never show my ugly face to anyone anymore. He slapped me… I-I remember counting them. 84… I-I begged him to stop. I told him I would never say anything to anyone… H-He didn"t –
And then –"
Involuntarily, Jim pulled her closer, his own breath hard. Her head crushed into his stomach once again, her body colliding with his lower half. Very silently, Miya wrapped her arms around his waist. She was shaking violently now.
"I-I don"t know how it happened. I-I – "
Jim felt her body go limp against him, as she searched for words. He felt like she would collapse into him, or onto the floor. His heart went cold.
"I"m glad you burnt him, Miya," he said, in a voice that was poison and ash, "I wish you had crushed his skull so he wouldn"t be alive anymore."
That took the girl by surprise.
Her shivers quieted down, and for one long moment, she looked up at Jim.
Her eyes were vacant, with only the slightest hint of disbelief betrayed in them. Her gaze however, was searching his. Her lips trembled when she looked into his eyes. Slowly, Miya let go of his waist.
She began to claw at the neck of her t-shirt, almost as if she was trying to rip it off her left shoulder.
Jim automatically remembered the incident from before, when he had watched on a screen, how she had torn apart the shoulder of her dress to reveal the wolf scar. The image was still imprinted in his mind.
Instantly, he held her hand again.
"Don"t."
His grasp surprised Miya yet again, as did that one single word. A small frown marred her face, her eyes searched his own. When she found utmost sincerity in them, she let her shirt go.
"I have another mark," she told him, lowering her gaze to her thighs once more, "It"s from the bite of a wolf."
Jim nodded, "I know."
"It happened in 1999 too. A few months before I found out about Tao shipping girls… there was news that a wolf had been roaming around our village. I didn"t take it seriously then. The forest had never had wild animal sightings before. But… I remember it being a very hot day. I heard someone scream. When I followed the voice, I saw a person being attacked by a wolf."
Jim frowned.
What?
Had she got bitten by a wolf trying to save someone else?
"I-I don"t like talking about this incident," her voice went quieter, "But… it was gut wrenching to watch. The beast had this girl"s leg in its mouth. I wanted to call for help, but we were too deep into the forest, and there was no time. My legs moved on their own.
I – there was a lot of blood, Jimmy. But... somehow, I don"t know how… we survived."
Jim felt his own legs go weak.
His mind though, also fixated on the word we. 1999… Miya had to be around eight years old back then. This person she had saved, and she herself… how had the two girls managed to beat a d.a.m.ned wolf?
Miya"s tremble had died down now. She looked up at Jim, who stood before her, watching her carefully. Somehow, she seemed smaller to him… in that moment, too weak.
"I"m telling you about this because it"s necessary," she said in an even quieter voice, "to understand what pa.s.sed between me and Tao four years later. He had me in his grasp. And he would have traded me off. But then… the girl I had helped back then, saved from the wolf, appeared.
It was a miracle. I-I still don"t know how it happened. I was shocked and wounded, and I remember being scared. But the person… she… she came to my aid.
The one who set the fire to Tao, Jimmy… it wasn"t me. It was her."
F***.
Jim"s eyes didn"t leave hers. An unnatural fear crawled through his skin. Miya stared back at him. This time though, her eyes weren"t vacant or misled. They were watching him, gauging his every expression, waiting for him to react.
He said nothing.
Miya moved her hand to her stomach. Absentmindedly, she began to caress the area near her belly b.u.t.ton. The act didn"t escape his notice, but he still kept his gaze on her.
She breathed.
"Two days later," her voice was a whisper, "Tao went into a coma. Kanashii returned home. I don"t know how much she knew or what she had heard. But she instantly flew into a rage.
T-This girl somehow appeared again. I remember her trying to explain to Kanashii… but my mother was dishevelled. I never knew she kept a gun on her. Wh-While she was trying to reason, Kanashii made her move. She took out the gun and made a shot."
With that, Miya grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it up from a single corner.
Jim"s frightened gaze fell on the tender skin of her stomach. And then, he noticed the small, bulging red mark just beside her belly b.u.t.ton. It looked like a knot.
Jim swallowed.
Miya"s lips quivered, but she didn"t lose control.
"This is the wound from back then," her voice had gone hoa.r.s.e, "When Kanashii aimed at my friend – I took the shot instead."
Jim froze, his heart feeling like a thousand needles had pierced through it.
Twelve… Miya had been twelve…
Numbly, he looked on. Silence pervaded between them again. When neither spoke a word, Miya lowered her shirt, and attempted a half smile. Her voice almost broke when she spoke again.
"And that, Jimmy is how I got these scars. The ones you say I should be proud of."
Jim swore.