Or, as Lear, I pour"d forth the deep imprecation, By my daughters of kingdom and reason deprived; Till, fired by loud plaudits and self-adulation, I regarded myself as a Garrick revived.
Ye dreams of my boyhood, how much I regret you!
Unfaded your memory dwells in my breast; Though sad and deserted, I ne"er can forget you.
Your pleasures may still be in fancy possest.
To Ida full oft may remembrance restore me, While fate shall the shades of the future unroll!
Since darkness o"ershadows the prospect before me, More dear is the beam of the past to my soul!
But if, through the course of the years which await me, Some new scene of pleasure should open to view, I will say, while with rapture the thought shall elate me, "Oh! such were the days which my infancy knew!"
LINES WRITTEN BENEATH AN ELM IN THE CHURCH-YARD OF HARROW.
Spot of my youth! whose h.o.a.ry branches sigh, Swept by the breeze that fans thy cloudless sky; Where now alone I muse, who oft have trod, With those I loved, thy soft and verdant sod; With those who, scatter"d far, perchance deplore, Like me, the happy scenes they knew before: Oh! as I trace again thy winding hill, Mine eyes admire, my heart adores thee still, Thou drooping Elm! beneath whose boughs I lay, And frequent mused the twilight hours away; Where, as they once were wont, my limbs recline, But ah! without the thoughts which then were mine: How do thy branches, moaning to the blast, Invite the bosom to recall the past, And seem to whisper, as they gently swell, "Take, while thou canst, a lingering, last farewell!"
When fate shall chill, at length, this fever"d breast, And calm its cares and pa.s.sions into rest, Oft have I thought, "twould soothe my dying hour-- If aught may soothe when life resigns her power-- To know some humble grave, some narrow cell, Would hide my bosom where it loved to dwell.
With this fond dream, methinks, "twere sweet to die-- And here it linger"d, here my heart might lie; Here might I sleep where all my hopes arose; Scene of my youth, and couch of my repose; Forever stretch"d beneath this mantling shade, Press"d by the turf where once my childhood play"d; Wrapt by the soil that veils the spot I loved, Mix"d with the earth o"er which my footsteps moved; Blest by the tongues that charm"d my youthful ear, Mourn"d by the few my soul acknowledged here; Deplored by those in early days allied, And unremember"d by the world beside.
"But although he may for a time," says Moore, "have experienced this kind of moral atomy, it was not in his nature to be long without attaching himself to somebody, and the friendship which he conceived for Eddleston--a man younger than himself, and not at all of his rank in society--even surpa.s.sed in ardor all the other attachments of his youth."
EDDLESTON
was one of the choristers at Cambridge. His talent for music attracted Byron"s attention. When he lost the society of Long, who had been his sole comfort at Cambridge, he took very much to the company of young Eddleston. One feels how much he was attached to him, on reading those lines in which he thanks Eddleston for a cornelian heart he had sent him:--
THE CORNELIAN.
No specious splendor of this stone Endears it to my memory ever; With l.u.s.tre only once it shone, And blushes modest as the giver.
Some, who can sneer at friendship"s ties, Have for my weakness oft reproved me; Yet still the simple gift I prize, For I am sure the giver loved me.
He offer"d it with downcast look, As fearful that I might refuse it; I told him, when the gift I took, My only fear should be to lose it.
When Eddleston left college, Lord Byron wrote to Miss Pigott a letter full of regret at having lost his youthful friend, and thanking her for having taken an interest in him.
"During the whole time we were at Cambridge together," says Byron, "we saw each other every day, summer and winter, and never once found a moment of _ennui_, but parted each day with greater regret. I trust," he added, at the end of his letter, "that you will some day see us together; that is the being I esteem most, though I love several others."
But in the year 1811 Eddleston died of consumption; and Lord Byron wrote to Miss Pigott"s mother, to beg of her to return the cornelian heart which he had intrusted to her care, because it had "now acquired a value which he wished it had never had;" the original donor having died at the age of twenty-one, a few months before, and being "the sixth in the s.p.a.ce of four months of a series of friends and relations whom he had lost since May."
The cornelian heart was restored, and Byron was informed that he had only intrusted it, but not given it to Miss Pigott. It was on learning of Eddleston"s death that Byron added the touching ninth stanza to the second canto of "Childe Harold."
After speaking of the hope of meeting again in a celestial abode, those whom he loved on earth, and all those who taught the truth, he exclaims,--
"There, thou!--whose love and life together fled, Have left me here to love and live in vain-- Twined with my heart, and can I deem thee dead When busy Memory flashes on my brain?
Well--I will dream that we may meet again, And woo the vision to my vacant breast: If aught of young Remembrance then remain, Be as it may Futurity"s behest, For me "twere bliss enough to know thy spirit blest!"
Among the children younger than himself of whom he established himself the protector, one of those he loved best was his f.a.g William Harness.
HARNESS.
The Rev. William Harness is the author of the work ent.i.tled the "Relations between Christianity and Happiness, by one of the oldest and most esteemed friends of Lord Byron."
Harness was four years younger than Byron, and one of the earliest friends he made at Harrow. Lord Byron had not been long at the school, and had not yet formed any friendship with other boys, when he saw a boy, "still lame from an accident of his childhood, and but just recovered from a severe illness, bullied by a boy much older and stronger than himself." Byron interfered and took his part.
"We both seem perfectly to recollect," says he, "with a mixture of pleasure and regret, the hours we once pa.s.sed together; and I a.s.sure you, most sincerely, they are numbered among the happiest of my brief chronicle of enjoyment. I am now getting into years, that is to say, I was twenty a month ago, and another year will send me into the world, to run my career of folly with the rest. I was then just fourteen--you were almost the first of my Harrow friends, certainly the first in my esteem, if not in date; but an absence from Harrow for some time shortly after, and new connections on your side, and the difference in our conduct, from that turbulent and riotous disposition of mine which impelled me into every species of mischief, all these circ.u.mstances combined to destroy our intimacy, which affection urged me to continue, and Memory compels me to regret. But there is not a circ.u.mstance attending that period, hardly a sentence we exchanged, which is not impressed on my mind at this moment.
"There is another circ.u.mstance you do not know:--the first lines I ever attempted at Harrow were addressed to you; but as on our return from the holidays we were strangers, the lines were destroyed.
"I have dwelt longer on this theme than I intended, and I shall now conclude with what I ought to have begun. Will you sometimes write to me? I do not ask it often, and, if we meet, let us be what we should be, and what we were."
Young Harness, gifted with a calm and mild temperament, was being educated for the Church. Besides being always at Harrow, and four years younger than Byron, the life which the latter led at Newstead and at Cambridge did not suit one destined to a career which requires greater severity of demeanor. But the two friends corresponded, and Lord Byron sent him one of his early copies of "Hours of Idleness." In the letter which the Rev. W. Harness wrote to Moore, after Byron"s death, to tell him the nature of the quarrel which he and Byron had had together, and their subsequent reconciliation, he ends by saying:--
"Our conversation was renewed and continued from that time till his going abroad. Whatever faults Lord Byron may have exhibited toward others, to myself he was always uniformly affectionate.... I can not call to mind a single instance of caprice or unkindness in the whole course of our intimacy to allege against him."
The fault to which Harness alludes, and which he acknowledges, was one of the kind to which Byron was most sensitive, namely, coldness. Having lost some of his early and best friends, Edward Long, and all the others being spread far and near, abroad and in England, following out their respective careers and destiny, Harness was about the only early friend he had near him.
The time was approaching when he was going to leave England, to travel and to learn by study the great book of Nature. His heart was wounded by the injustice which had been done him, by the many disenchantments which he had experienced, by the brutal criticism of his "Hours of Idleness"
from the pen of his relation Lord Carlisle, and by his money difficulties. Unable as yet to foretell the effects of his satire, which had not yet appeared, and the success of which might have consoled him a little for past mortifications, he found in friendship his sole relief, and particularly in the friendship of Harness. At this very critical time, Harness--(be it either through the influence of his family and relations, or through a notion that his principles were rather unsuited to the heterodox opinions of Lord Byron)--behaved coldly toward Byron.
Dallas, however, who from puritanism and family pride, and even from jealousy, was rather an enemy of Lord Byron"s intellectual friends--(contending that it was they who had instilled into Byron all the anti-orthodox views which the poet had adopted)--makes an exception in favor of Harness.
Byron spoke of Harness with an affection which he hoped was repaid to him. I often met him at Newstead, and both he and Byron had had their portraits taken, which they were to make a present of to one another. It was not until some unknown cause sprung up to establish a coldness between the two friends that their intimacy ceased, and at the same time Harness"s visits to Newstead. Byron felt it very keenly.
In what degree the conduct of Harness hurt Lord Byron and contributed to those explosions of misanthropy which, slight and pa.s.sing as they were, have nevertheless been urged as a reproach against his first and second cantos of "Childe Harold," I shall examine later.
Here it is only necessary to say that in a soul such as his, where rancor could never live, such a coldness wounded him without altering his sentiments in any way. After two years" absence he returned to England, and so heartily forgave Harness that he actually wished to dedicate to him the first two cantos of "Childe Harold," and only gave up this idea from a generous fear that its dedication might injure him in his clerical profession, on account of certain stanzas in the poem which were not quite orthodox.
"The letter," says Moore, "in which he expresses these delicate sentiments is, unfortunately, lost."
Some months after his return to England he resumed his correspondence with Harness, and both the friends a.s.sembled at Newstead. Harness, however, as a clergyman, was severe in his judgments. Byron wrote to him:--
"You are censorious, child: when you are a little older, you will learn to dislike every body, but abuse n.o.body.... I thank you most truly for the concluding part of your letter. I have been of late not much accustomed to kindness from any quarter, and I am not the less pleased to meet with it again from one to whom I had known it earliest. I have not changed in all my ramblings; Harrow, and of course yourself, never left me, and the
"Dulces reminiscitur Argos."
attended me to the very spot to which that sentence alludes in the mind of the fallen Argive. Our intimacy began before we began to date at all, and it rests with you to continue it till the hour which must number it and me with the things that were."
Two days afterward, he writes to him again a letter full of endearing expressions, couched in a friendly tone of interest, of which the following extracts are instances:--
"And now, child, what art thou doing? Reading, I trust. I want to see you take a degree. Remember, this is the most important period of your life; and don"t disappoint your papa and your aunt and all your kin, besides myself.
"You see, _mio carissimo_, what a pestilent correspondent I am likely to become; but then you shall be as quiet at Newstead as you please, and I won"t disturb your studies as I do now."
On the 11th of December, of the same year, he invites Moore to Newstead and says, "H---- will be here, and a young friend named Harness, the earliest and dearest I ever had from the third form at Harrow to this hour."
And, finally, he wrote to Harness that he had no greater pleasure than to hear from him; indeed, that it was more than a pleasure.