I snuck around on the internet just a bit longer with Alex. Her gaze meets mine quickly before adverting back to the blue light of the computer. "BTS is… disbanding?" I feel my breath stagger as I mumble the word "disbanding." My face goes ghostly white. "The one thing I used to keep myself from…" I shut up. "What am I then, a roach?" Alex playfully nudges my arm with hers. I"m guessing she"s trying to lighten the mood. What a save. "Listen, just get to sleep, alright? I"m sure it"s just some a.s.shole trying to play with our emotions," I know she"s uncertain after I see the struggling, yet a.s.suring, looking on her face. I keep quiet and nod. "Yeah. Yeah yeah, let me… let me change first." I crawl out of queen-sized bed and into the bathroom with my maroon plaided pajamas. I attempt to keep a smile on my face, but I can sense Alex looking right through me.I feel my heart pound and my forehead sweat. Is it the heavy covers? No it can"t be. Is it me just running a fever? No I"m fine. I begin to run and run and run and run until I fall and sc.r.a.pe my knee. I look back and notice how close I am to regret and depression. They catch up to me. My piercing screams fill my head and my thoughts. All I can do is run. I get up from the ground and chase after success and hope, all to fall back and feel my skull being smashed and my bones crackle and snap in from the up-coming feelings I so wish to ignore.
My eyes jolt open. My back is arched as I look into Alex"s worried and confused gaze. She holds me by my the arm and shoulder as I come back to reality. Flicking small dripplets of cold water onto my face, I feel the burning sensation in my eyes from tears that dried on my cheeks. I let out a faint whine. "What happened?" she whispers, her voice soft rather than being loud. I got to speak until I look past her shoulder and see the alarm clock. It"s already four in the morning. I"ll just… lie. It was nothing after all, right? They were just lies after all.
"It was nothing. Just a bad nightmare is all." I look down at my sweaty palms and go silent. She knows I was lying. My voice creaked and shook as I spoke my last sentance. "Sis, that wasn"t just a bad nightmare. I"ve known you for eleven years now. You have never done that before," She lifts my head up with her thumb and forefinger on my chin. "Was it that post on Twitter?" I keep my gaze down but she holds my head. I mouth the word "yes." She sighs and rubs my back. "I was going to surprise you, but I guess… you need it now. Your birthday is later today anyway." I feel her reach behind me and over my shoulder. "I saved up money after you and I both lost weight and well…" she hands me a small envelope. I look at it for a few seconds, not really sure what to comprehend. I scoot about an inch away and lick my finger to open the tab of the cream-colored package.
My watery eyes can"t make out what I open. I rub my left eye with my apposing thumb. "They are plane tickets," Alex continues to whisper. "I saved up each paycheck and finally got our dream. Let"s go to Korea, Savannah. Let"s go and stay forever."