Jack extended his hand, and grabbed on to the red woman"s hand.He immediately jerked his hand back with a yelp, and waved it around as he sucked air through his teeth. He looked down at his palm to see it was bright red, and could already identify the presence of several small white blisters forming on the pad of his palm. The red skinned woman looked at him with confusion for a split second, before a look of realization crossed her face.
"Oh, did you get burned? I figured you"d be immune to heat, considering." She said, withdrawing her hand and looking at him with a mixture of concern and masked amus.e.m.e.nt.
Jack looked at her, still nursing his scorched hand.
"Considering what?"
"Well, Frumpkin told us you specifically requested a quote..."harem of really hot women". It"s considered a great honor to be selected as a romantic companion of a hero by G.o.d, but no one ever requests Ifrits, Fire Tieflings, or Ember Sprites because of our intense body heat. So we were overjoyed when he came to us and told us you were coming and that we were to be your companions. But, I didn"t expect to be requested by someone who is so sensitive to temperature", The red woman explained.
"Wait, you"re my "harem of super hot women"?", Jack asked, feeling a sinking sensation in his gut.
The blue skinned girl spoke up with a warm smile.
"Yup, that"s us! I"m Eleanor the Fire Tiefling, the small one behind me is Madeleine the Ember Sprite, and the one you"ve been talking to is Rose the Ifrit. It"s a pleasure to meet you, mister hero!"
"Are you kidding me?", Jack asked. "Is this some kind of joke? Am I being pranked?"
"Pranked?", Rose asked, tilting her head in confusion.
Jack hung his head, and buried his face in his hands. It would be just his luck that Frumpkin would take his description of "hot women" literally. Here he was, face to face with beautiful women whose sole purpose for existence now was meeting his every desire, and he couldn"t so much as give them a pat on the back without needing skin grafts. Perfect. Just perfect.
["So, what do you think, kid? Are they hot enough for ya?"] Frumpkin"s voice popped in his head, along with another sound that sounded very similar to a hair dryer. ["Do I know how to nail a wish or what?"]
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"You made them literally hot! That"s not what I meant at all!" Jack yelled in his head. He mentally visualized strangling Frumpkin with his own beard as he did so.
["Whoa, hey! I did exactly what you asked for. I did tell you the wishes would be open to my interpretation. Not my fault you used language that apparently has mutiple meanings."] Frumpkin said, after a clicking sound shut off the hair dryer sound. Maybe it actually was a hair dryer.
"Can"t you fix it?" Jack thought.
["Sorry kid. No refunds. You get what you wish for. Now, if you"ll excuse me, I have a perm to finish blow-drying."] Frumpkin said, and with a click the blowdryer sound resumed, much louder than before.
"Hey! I"m not done talking to you!" Jack called in his head after him.
["WHAT? I CAN"T HEAR YOU!"] Frumpkin yelled back. Somehow, the hair dryer sound got even louder.
"...So, are you okay...?"
Jack snapped back to reality to see Rose looking intensely at him with a look that not so subtly implied he was acting crazy.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I"m fine. Why?" He said.
"You"ve just been standing there staring off into s.p.a.ce for the past three minutes." Rose said, raising an eyebrow.
"Sorry about that." Jack said sheepishly.
"Oookay...." Rose said, casting a sideways glance towards Eleanor, who shrugged. "So, are you ready to go, Jack?"
Jack nodded, finding a small bit of excitement return after his immense disappointment. He was, after all, still the hero of this new world. Maybe he"d figure out a way to keep himself from getting burned along the way.
"Sure thing! Lead the way!" He said, gesturing with his hand down the direction he had been heading.