I lay on the chair until mam called out for me. I went backstage . Now I felt nervous. It became even more challenging because my performance was just after Samuel Kriz"s live performance. I stepped on the stage. As soon as I reached the centre, I was attacked.
People started gossiping,"Who wants to listen to this chubby girl"s singing? Samuel Kriz once more! once more! "
Their pet.i.tion continued as if they were ready to criticize me. It felt extremely bad. This reminded me of my school incident because of which I had left music.People were bought by my once good friend now no more. She backstabbed me the moment I started to stretch my wings. Completely betrayed. I have long forgotten it but today the part where I was affected got another cut and I started to ooze my pain again. I had forgotten that how much I try, at some point my luck will never favor me. I remembered how they criticized me even to some extent they threw pellets at me. She... she had fed me a gla.s.s of water before the performance but that gla.s.s was stained with a sting that stung my throat and couldn"t sing.The humiliation that was brought to me couldn"t compa.s.s the sorrow and damage that it had affected me before and even now. It was the past but why is it repeating once again? History repeats itself, but in my case it was extremely faster.
Their thunderous yelling continued. I shivered but it was all in the past. My Mom and Teachers have faith in me, Lacy, Paul and others are with me. Moreover I will be singing only for myself and Sky. Yes, for him...I was able to change myself.Because of his warmth I could freely mix with people.He taught me how everyday,every split second of our time can be precious.Only by loving him and getting acquainted with him was the biggest strength to change myself and give myself a chance once more...
Without further delay I confidently held the mic. I took in deep breath and just started but alas, the mic went off. It was thundering and raining heavily. How unlucky I can be during a performance? I am my own jynx.
All ran for the shelter mam shouted at me to come down. I was defeated completely defeated by the force of nature.The rain was not at all romantic like our first meeting, instead it was filled with hideous plots.
I came down. It"s over. I don"t know what kind of gaze I was giving off at the moment but I couldn"t control the shock this time. The past and the present mixed together with the same scent entangled onto one another created a powerful weapon that I fell onto my knees, head down and tears constantly trickling down my cheeks. The phobia of facing the audience once again acted upon me. I couldn"t even hear a thing that others spoke as I was nearing shortness of breath. I recalled the worst memories of my school life which even forced me to be on the brink of ending my life. The voices of the students echoed at the back of my mind,
"Go away, go away loser. Don"t make our school lose face! "
" Go away fat Sonnet! Fake singer, fraud singer! "
And today"s voices,
"Who wants to listen to this chubby girl"s singing? Samuel Kriz once more! once more! "
Specially the first part, "Who wants to listen to this chubby girl"s singing?"
I was triggered and soon got out of breath and fell on the backstage, eyes shut.