My Soul Will Find Yours

"Of course," he replied softly before helping me back to the futon. "I will wake you once dinner is ready. Rest well and I apologize once more."

I covered myself with the blanket and rolled to my side before closing my eyes. I felt his fingers on my tresses before he sighed and went back to playing the sad tune he was playing before. The sound lulled me to sleep.

~~~

"Hina," Kaname called while patting my shoulder. "Wake up, it"s time for our evening meal."

I opened my eyes slowly and sat up. I rubbed my eyes and went to the waiting the table. He sat beside me and filled my bowl with food. I grabbed my chopsticks and slowly ate. Kaname didn"t try to start a conversation and just continued to refill my bowl and cup when necessary. Curiously, we were the only ones inside the room. Not a single servant was around to serve him and me. When we finished eating, I was surprised to see Ryuko-san waiting inside his ma.s.sive bathroom.

"My lady, how are you feeling?" she asked me with the concern of a mother. "Kaname-sama told me what happened. Had I known that the guards would do what they did then we wouldn"t have left you in the pavilion."

"What"s done is done," I removed my robe. "Did he bring you here?"

"Hai," she took my robe and set it aside. "Everyone in the ooku believes that I left for my hometown earlier to visit my family."

"I see," I sat on the bathing stool feeling a bit bitter because she was properly brought here, unlike me. "And what excuse did he have for my absence?"

"Kaname-sama hired a decoy for you," she replied as she washed my hair and body. "It was such short notice but the rest of the maids are schooling her now on how to act like you."

"A kagemusha[1]?" I was surprised. I didn"t expect this. Kaname has once again impressed me with his ability to think in advance.

"The woman has a striking resemblance to you, my lady. If it weren"t for the little mole on your left earlobe, I would have thought she is indeed you."

I subconsciously touched my ear. "I see."

~~~

Kaname disappeared after our dinner, it wasn"t until two hours later that he came back. I learned from Ryuko-san that my robes will be smuggled here tomorrow so I had no choice but to wear Kaname"s clothes for now.

Because I wanted to be alone, I asked Ryuko-san to leave as soon as I finished bathing. I decided to dress myself and made a poor attempt at it. My robe"s appearance showed my inexperience, it also didn"t help that it was too big for me. I looked like I was wearing an off shoulder dress. No matter how hard I tried to arrange it, the sleeves would always manage to fall off my shoulders, exposing my collarbone and my décolletage.

I was combing my hair with my back to the door when I heard him return to the room. I couldn"t find a mirror so I didn"t know how I looked like at the moment, but doing something as mundane as brushing my hair until it shone cleared my head for some reason.

I caught a whiff of his perfumed skin when he walked behind me to get something from a nearby drawer. He smelled different, his scent wasn"t woody but musky, spicy, and oddly… s.e.xy. Since I was determined not to talk to him as I was still angry because of what he put me through earlier, I pretended not to notice anything.

It wasn"t until I realized that he was deliberately making his presence known that I put down my brush and got up from the cushion I was sitting on. I consciously pulled the sleeves of my robe to cover my exposed skin, when I looked up I almost gasped. Kaname was in his birthday suit! His core muscles rippled seductively as he dried his hair with a towel.

Fortunately, I recovered immediately and averted my eyes. Realizing that I probably looked like I was being shy, I held my head up and walked towards the mattress and duvet. I was about to lie down when he unceremoniously plopped down beside me. I glanced at him but said nothing even though I was relieved to see that he was now wearing a sleeping robe. I pulled the blanket closer; when my head was about to hit the pillow, I heard him speak.

"I"m happy that you"re here with me," his tone proved that he was telling the truth.

I pretended that I didn"t hear anything and closed my eyes. I felt his warm hand on my shoulder, I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not to respond to his sudden touch. He stroked my skin lovingly before pulling my sleeve to cover it.

"Don"t worry, I already told Taneyuki-san to get you new clothes so you won"t have to wear ill-fitting ones. They will be a combination of female and male clothing. I wonder how you"ll look like disguised as a man," he continued his monologue.

I carried on with treating him like air and ignored him although my mind was raising at the thought of disguising myself as a man. I didn"t take him seriously earlier but hearing about it again made me oddly excited.

"Tomorrow I"ll be meeting with a few daimyos from the west. Would you like to join me? It will be boring but at least you won"t be stuck in this room the whole day," I felt him lie down and roll to face my back. "This is also a good opportunity for you to explore the rest of the castle like no other woman has ever done before."

He was right, of course. The women in the palace were forbidden to enter the nakoku and omote; in the same way, no other man save from the shogun was allowed entry in the ooku although I heard that on New Year"s eve, Taneyuki-san would cross into the palace along with Kaname for the bean-throwing ceremony.

"I almost forgot! There will be a festival soon, I"ve arranged for us to go together as an ordinary couple," he pulled me closer, his scent together with this pleasant surprise weakened my resolve to not talk to him. "It will be fun to mingle with the locals without having to worry about being identified so I had masks prepared for the both of us."

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[1] Political decoy. Many high ranking officials and VIP"s in both the old and modern times have used decoys as a means of protecting themselves from possible danger.