Ryuko-san knelt in front of me and placed my right hand on her lap before turning it over so it is palm-side up. Using her other hand, she placed two fingertips gently in the groove of my forearm down from the fold of my wrist and about an inch along from the base of my thumb. She then closed her eyes to better concentrate on the pulsation of my heart beat.After some time, she finally opened her eyes. I was anxiously biting the nails of my other hand the entire time as I prayed to be finally blessed with my first child.
"So? How was it?" I asked nervously.
She shook her head.
"I-I"m not pregnant?" I felt my face fall and the corner of my eyes sting.
"No, no!" Ryuko-san hurried to correct me. "My lady, it"s not that! I—"
"But you shook your head. That means no," my voice was barely a whisper, my tears fell like there was no tomorrow.
"My lady, I couldn"t check your pulse properly because you were too nervous!" she explained. "I need you to calm down so my reading will be accurate."
"Oh," I managed to choke out. I sniffed and wiped my tear-drenched face. "Shall we try again?"
"You have to calm down first, Lady Hinata," she emphasized. "I don"t want to give you a false reading."
~~~
After thirty minutes, we tried again. She took my hand and checked my pulse. This time, I did my best to remain calm and collected. I thought of my mum"s garden and the birds that lived in it.
"Lady Hinata," my head maid called my name. When I opened my eyes, her face looked like she just saw a parade in Disneyland. It was happy and awestruck.
"Y-yes?" I was starting to get nervous again.
"Omedetou gozaimasu[1], Lady Hinata," she clasped my hand with both of hers. "You are with child."
"I…. I am?" I looked at my belly and caressed it with my free hand. "I"m going to be a mum?"
"Hai."
"Are you sure?" I had to ask. "Are you absolutely, positively sure that I"m pregnant?"
She nodded and my tears once again fell, I was so happy I wanted Kaname to be beside me right then and there. The rest of my maids gathered around me and gave me congratulatory hugs. Everyone"s faces were br.i.m.m.i.n.g with joy.
"Could you please prepare a piece of paper and some writing tools for me?" I asked when everyone, myself especially, have calmed down. "I"d like to make something for the shogun."
~~~
When I saw Kaname emerge from the bathroom door, I immediately went to welcome him like a dutiful wife. He smiled, intertwined his fingers with mine, and kissed me on the forehead.
"I missed you," he murmured against my skin.
"And I, you," I stood on my toes to give him a peck on the cheek. "How was your day, anata?"
"Long and boring," he replied although he was still smiling. "And yours?"
"It started as ordinary but by the end of the afternoon, it became quite interesting," I replied mysteriously.
"What do you mean?" he ran his fingers through my hair, I didn"t put it up in a bun because he said he liked it when my tresses fell on my shoulders down to my waist lusciously.
"You"ll find out soon," I said before pulling him to the parlor. "Let"s have dinner first."
~~~
With a shy smile on my lips, I handed Kaname a piece of paper. He was waiting for me to join him on the futon; when he took the note from my hand, he sat up and unfolded it.
"This is?" he looked at the paper with a perplexed look on his face. The words I wrote were written in the English alphabet.
"It says," I pointed at the texts and read it. ""Congratulations, you"re a papa now!""
"Cong— what?" he couldn"t repeat what I just said.
"Congratulations, you"re a papa now," I translated in j.a.panese. I then pointed at the two stick figures I drew beside the words. "This is you, and this is me."
"Hina? This…" his hand started to shake, his eyes were glued on my drawings.
"I"m pregnant, my love," I said while hugging him from behind. "We"ll be meeting our first child soon."
He slowly folded the piece of paper and placed it on the mattress. "You"re pregnant?" he gently freed himself from my embrace to pull me to his lap. "How long has it been?"
"Ryuko-san and I are still unsure but…" I lowered my lashes demurely as I recalled our first night together. "But we believe it was when you returned from Kai."
"You"ve been pregnant since then?" he suddenly paled.
"Yes," I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Why, is there something wrong?"
"I just remembered the time when I hurt you and you were unconscious for days," he looked away. "You were already carrying our child then but I was ruthless towards you."
"Anata, I"m fine now," I tried to comfort him, before he looked away I saw how guilty his eyes were.
"I guess I"ll never be able to forgive myself for hurting you," he smiled bitterly. "How could you easily pardon someone who hurt you so much, Hina?"
"My love for you is bigger than your mistake, Kaname," I said while caressing his face. "You"ve proven how much you regretted what you did and everyday you show me just how much you love me."
"I…" he closed his eyes, when he opened them he looked so unsure. "Am I really worthy of your love? Are you sure you want to be with me?"
I answered him in the form of a kiss. It took some time for him to react and kiss me back but when he finally did, I felt the unspoken promise behind it.
"Hina, I love you," he whispered. "Thank you for coming into my life."
I felt my throat constrict when I saw the tears in his eyes. He was crying! My proud and stubborn and sometimes overbearing shogun is crying!
"Don"t cry," I said although tears were streaming down my eyes as I spoke. "This is supposed to be a happy day but look at us, we"re both crying."
He laughed that throaty laugh of his before wiping my tears away. "These are tears of happiness and I"m sure yours are, too."
"Yes, papa," I smiled at him.
"Papa?"
"It"s what I"d like for our child to call you, if that"s okay. It means father."
"I like it, it"s unique. What will the child call you?"
"Mama. I find otousan[2] and okaasan[3] to be too formal."
"Then papa and mama it is," he gently laid me on the futon to kiss my belly. "Touya… Miyako… Papa and mama can"t wait to meet you."