All of a sudden, I felt my stomach muscles tighten. From excitement or nervousness, I didn"t know. I gathered my tresses and placed it behind my back. "I won"t try to pretend that I am inexperienced in pillowing," I said in mock candidness. I watched carefully as he processed my words."You"ve had other men before me?" Kaname sounded calm, as if he was asking me if I wanted more tea.
"Only one," I admitted.
"Who is he?"
"He.. He"s my ex boyfriend. I gave him my all but he betrayed me." I averted my gaze as I spoke the last three words.
He nodded before taking my discarded robe and dressing me. When he finished tying the sash, I smiled bitterly. "So you don"t want me now because I"m no longer pure and innocent? Because someone else came before you?" I started to get up but he restrained me. I looked at him with pained eyes, I didn"t bother to hide the hurt I was feeling.
"Hinata, what are you talking about?" his words left me on the verge of tears. "I said no such thing!"
"Your actions say otherwise, shogun Kirishima," I struggled and tried to free myself from his strong arms. "Let me go!" I hissed.
"Hinata, calm down!" he fought and struggled to control me. "I said calm down! I don"t want to hurt you!"
I tried to scratch his face but as he was stronger than me, he was able to pin me down in seconds. "Let me go!" I managed to choke out before turning into an emotional wreck. Who would have thought that rejection would hurt this much? "You men are all the same! You want your women to be virgins but did you even take into consideration how we feel about not being your firsts? Hypocritical pigs, all of you!"
Kaname"s face darkened. "I don"t care about that!" he roared at me. "Do you really think I was being patient and gentle with you these past few weeks because I just wanted to get in between your legs!? I cannot believe how low you think of me!"
"Then why! Why did you stop!" I shouted back against my tears. "Why did you reject me!"
He looked pained for a brief moment but he managed to hide it by shifting into a gentler expression. "I did not reject you, Hinata," he wiped the wetness off my face with the back of his veiny hand. "You have no idea how much I want to continue and be one with you right now.."
"Liar!" I looked at him with disdain. I started to struggle again.
"Will you please stop!" he grabbed my shoulders and shook me.
"Get out! Get out of my room!" I didn"t give a d.a.m.n that he owned the palace I lived in at the moment.
"I am not leaving until you calm down!" he raised a hand in an attempt to slap me.
"Go on!" I taunted him. "I dare you!"
He retracted his hand. With closed eyes, he exhaled deeply to calm himself. While pinching the bridge of his nose, he explained himself. "You should have seen the fleeting look of hurt in your eyes when you mentioned your lover," he whispered. "How can I take you when you are obviously still hurting from the encounter?"
I didn"t say anything and just looked away.
"You said you want us to get to know each other better first. We still have a long way to go, apparently." He opened his eyes. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. "Hinata, I can wait.. We can wait. This isn"t the right time."
My lips trembled and I started to cry again.
"Shh," he gathered me in his arms as if I was a fragile flower. "Don"t cry."
I cried in his arms until my tear ducts emptied. My eyes hurt and my nose was red when I finished. "Feeling better?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Tonight, I realized that I shouldn"t make you cry."
"Why?" my voice sounded raspy.
"You look ugly when you cry," he joked, obviously trying to lighten up the mood.
I puffed my cheeks before punching his chest.
"Ouch!" he pretended to collapse, all the while bringing my body along with his.
I rested my head on his chest as he ran a hand on my back soothingly. We stayed that way for a long time before I decided it was time for us to retire to the bedroom.
"It"s late," I said. "Let"s go to bed."
Kaname didn"t move.
"What"s wrong?"
"My legs fell asleep," he sighed. "I feel like thousands of pins and needles are p.r.i.c.king my lower limbs."
"Stand up and walk around," I took his hand and started pulling him to a standing position.
"Argh!" he gasped. He stomped his feet to try to relieve the numbness.
"It may be difficult to walk at first, but it is the best way to relieve the pressure on your nerves and improve your circulation."
"Yet another reason not to make you cry," he smiled wryly.
"Are you saying this is my fault?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "Did it ever occur to you that perhaps your nerves are ageing? We stayed in that position for mere minutes but here you are, wobbling like an old man. Maybe I should start calling you ojii-chan[1]!"
"Who are you calling ojii-chan?" he sprang and chased me to the bedroom.
"You, of course!" I giggled as I managed to coax him to the bedroom by distracting him with my words.
"Just wait till I get my hands on you, I"ll show you what this "old man" can do!"
~~~
Inside the darkened bedroom, Kaname once again showered me with kisses. However, this time, his hands didn"t start to wander and behaved themselves.
His kisses were intoxicating. Every time our lips parted, I hungrily captured his again. I didn"t want it to end. I wanted more of his mouth and tongue.
On my fifth attempt, he gently placed a finger on my lips. "You"re getting greedier, Hinchan."
"But, ojii-chan," I pouted and wailed like a spoiled child. "Hinchan wants more!"
He laughed, "Ojii-chan might not be able to control himself," he played along. "Ojii-chan might want more than just kissing and devour Hinchan completely."
"Just one more, please?" I fluttered my lashes for effect.
"Hinchan is being a spoiled kid."
"Please, ojii-chan? One more, please?" I tried my best to look cute, continuing with my act as a little girl. "Hinchan won"t ask for more afterwards.. Promise."
Kaname looked at me helplessly before surrendering to my pleas. When our lips touched and our tongues intertwined, two thoughts crossed my mind:
First, this man is an excellent kisser. And, two, his kisses are slowly turning me into a kissing monster.
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[1] A cutesy way of saying grandfather, its English equivalent is gramps/grampy.