My Soul Will Find Yours

"You will soon see for yourself," I smiled at her. "Is it possible for me to change?"

"Yes," she got up and searched the bureau for my preferred robe color.

Because I was still in no condition to take an actual bath, she helped me clean my body with a dampened wash cloth. I immediately felt refreshed and clean.

"When do you think can I wash my hair?" I asked as she sprinkled my hair and scalp with some sort of starch to absorb the excess oil.

"When your wound has completely healed," she replied. "Don"t worry, my lady, I know a lot of ways to make sure that you will still feel clean even without washing your hair."

She was now expertly tying my hair in a bun, I caught one of her hands and smiled at her through the hand-held mirror. "Ryuko-san, thank you. I don"t know what I"ll do without you."

The old woman"s eyes turned misty again. "My lady, this is my job. You don"t have to thank me."

"But you have done so much for me. I don"t consider you as just my head maid. To me, you"re family. Being transported in this time and year has not been easy but you and the maids have made it easy as pie for me."

"That"s because you treat us well, my lady," she blinked a couple of times to fight her tears. "It is an honor to work for a warm and caring lady such as you."

I got up and, because I couldn"t stop myself anymore, hugged her. "Thank you, Ryuko-san. You"re like a mother to me, I love you."

When she returned my hug, I knew she has surrendered to her tears as well. We remained in that position for a while before we parted, we were laughing and crying at the same time. I sat back on the cushion so she could finish styling my hair.

"By the way, what has Kaname been doing for the past three days?"

"The shogun has not left your side, my lady," she replied, I sensed a hint of anger in her voice. "However, he had no choice but to step outside this evening so he could attend to an important matter in the omote."

"You mean he hasn"t returned to the ooku? Not even once?"

"Yes, my lady," she a.s.sured me. "He said he wants to be around when you wake up."

I gave my head a toss, which I immediately realized was a bad idea because it left me feeling slightly dizzy. "Apparently, even unconscious , I still knew if he"s left the room or not."

"What are your plans now, my lady?"

"What time is it?"

"It is currently the second hour of the rooster."

"Then I wish to go back to the ooku. I don"t want to stay in this room for another night."

~~~

Kaname returned to the room shortly after I told Ryuko-san of my decision. When he slid the shoji open, he didn"t expect to find me sitting in the center of the room waiting for him. I prepared for his return quite well. After Ryuko-san finished styling my hair, I searched my backpack for my makeup bag. I applied a modern day makeup look which consisted of red matte lips, a contoured face, and perfect brows.

"You"re awake," he walked towards me with a smile of relief. "I was so worried about you."

When he took my hand and placed it on his cheek, I let him. When he was not satisfied, he gave it a kiss before pulling me into a hug. Still, I let him.

"I wish to go back to the inner palace," I told him.

He let go of me to study my face. "Okay, but after you have fully recovered."

"No, I cannot wait that long. I wish to return tonight," I told him unflinchingly.

He furrowed his brows. "We can"t let the female physicians know of your injury—"

"Why?" I asked stoically. "Are you afraid they might find out that you smuggled a woman in the nakoku?"

"Of course not, I—"

"Or are you afraid that once they find out the story behind the st.i.tches in my head they"ll see you in a different light?"

"Hinata," there was a warning in his voice. He did not look pleased.

I ignored the warning and continued, "I don"t care how you do it. But I wish to return tonight."

"Can we talk about what happened first?" he caressed my face, there was an unspoken plea in his beautiful eyes.

"Now you want to talk?" I smirked. "When I was explaining myself, did you listen? When I asked you to stay, what did you do?"

He retracted his hand as if he was physically scalded by my scathing words. "Hinata, I was just so angry. The mere thought that some other man touched you was enough to drive me insane!"

"So you decided to punish me?" I asked coldly. "You kissed Ayaka in front of me to hurt me. I begged you to forgive me for not telling you about our encounter and to believe me that I never betrayed you but what did you say? You accused me of "tainting" myself with the crown prince!"

"Hinata, I"m sorry," he grabbed my shoulders in an attempt to envelope me in another hug.

I swatted his hands off me. "From this point onwards you are not allowed to touch me without my permission. I don"t care if you"re the tenka bito or even the G.o.d of this earth but I will decide when and if you are allowed to touch me!" I hissed venomously.

Kaname stiffened in shock, his jaw dropped in disbelief. "You are my wife!" he retorted immediately after he recovered. "While you"re living in this castle, I call the shots! Never forget who you"re talking to!"

I got up and laughed at him with pure disdain. "Hahaha! And you seem to forget that I am a modern day woman! I was foolish to let you hurt me that much because I love you," I emphasized the last three words. "But don"t you remember what I said when you first spent the night in my room? That"s right! I am no one"s property! You cannot, nor any other man for that matter, own me! I belong to myself and no one else!"

I got up, gathered my robes, and motioned for Ryuko-san to follow me.

"Where are you going?" he grabbed my elbow to stop me in my tracks.

I looked at his hand before pointing my dagger at him. His eyes widened in shock. "This is how I defended myself from the crown prince," my voice was like molten lava, it could melt and swallow anything that stood in its way. "Let go of me."

I saw the inner battle in his eyes. When he didn"t release me, I spoke the exact same words I told the crown prince in the temple"s garden. "This is not a warning but a promise, if you do not release me in three seconds I will slash your throat with this dagger without batting an eyelid. I do not give a d.a.m.n about your ident.i.ty, right now you have crossed my personal s.p.a.ce and I do not appreciate it."