"Or perhaps ..." She drew a deep breath. "Something you wish to ask me?"
"To ask you?" He stared at her for a moment, then realization crossed his face and he shook his head. "No, not a thing."
She arched a brow. "Really? Nothing at all?"
"No." He shook his head. "Nothing."
"How very interesting," she murmured and casually circled the room. So this was how he wished to play this. A knife twisted in her heart. They had never played games before, not with each other. They had always been candid in their dealings with one another. She paused by a bookshelf and flicked away a small feather clinging to a book"s spine. No doubt left by the dusters used by the maids. She met his gaze directly. "I thought perhaps you wished to ask me about my lover."
His eyes widened. "Your what?"
"My lover." She crossed the room toward him. "You know, the one I was meeting at the Langham."
He winced, circled the desk, and stepped closer. "Evie-"
"Did you honestly think I would do that to you? To us?"
"I didn"t want to think it but-"
"But what?" She glared.
"But ..." He squared his shoulders. "It seemed a plausible answer to your manner of late."
"My manner?" A tiny voice in the back of her mind pointed out she had indeed been preoccupied of late, thanks to the department. She ignored it. Her voice rose. "My manner?"
"It was a mistake on my part," he said quickly.
"And not your only mistake."
"Perhaps not," he said cautiously.
"Perhaps?" She glared. "Then bursting into a hotel room to confront your errant wife, who has done nothing of any real significance to make you jump to such a conclusion, was not a mistake?"
He cringed. "Well, admittedly, as you weren"t there, that was a mistake as well."
Fury widened her eyes. "Because I wasn"t there?"
"Well, yes. No." He shook his head in confusion. "You"re twisting my words."
"That"s not all I"d like to twist!"
"I am sorry."
"For which part?" she snapped.
"All of it?" He did look somewhat unsure of himself. She"d never seen him uncertain before, and under other circ.u.mstances, she might have felt a twinge of pity for him. But not today.
"You didn"t trust me!"
"And I am sorry for that." He nodded. "Yet another mistake."
"Not only did you not trust me but you managed to humiliate me as well."
He frowned. "I don"t know why you would feel humiliated."
"You don"t? Come now, Adrian, you"re smarter than that." She stared in disbelief. "You don"t think letting anyone, let alone Lady Dunwell, who has never been especially fond of me, know you think I"m having an affair is not humiliating?"
"I hadn"t thought of it that way," he muttered.
"Apparently you weren"t thinking at all."
"I was thinking all sorts of things."
"None of them accurate!" She drew a deep breath. "Had you considered how many of our acquaintances regularly have tea at the Langham?"
"Well, no, I-"
"And who might have seen you there?"
He shook his head. "I don"t think anyone saw me."
She narrowed her eyes.
"Not that I noticed," he added weakly.
"I"m surprised gossip isn"t all over the city by now."
"Oh, I doubt Lady Dunwell will say anything," he said in what was obviously meant to be a consoling manner. "How did you find out?"
"That scarcely matters at this point." She waved off the question. "How could you, Adrian? How could you think I would ever betray you? How could you hold me up to public ridicule?"
"I lost my head." He ran his hand through his hair. "Your behavior, coupled with finding you in the library and then Radington appearing, he was obviously there to meet someone and it did seem-"
"I thought your jealousy that night was rather amusing." She huffed. "But this-it"s inexcusable!"
"Oh, I think it"s excusable-"
"Do you really?" She glared at him. "Beyond the rest of it, if I was going to have an affair, do you think I would be so foolish as to meet a man at a public hotel? A hotel with a popular tearoom?"
"When you put it that-"
"So not only do you believe I could be unfaithful but you think I"m an idiot as well."
"I have no doubts as to your intelligence," he said staunchly.
"Oh, I am a lucky woman." Sarcasm rang in her voice.
"As for the rest of it, I was wrong, I admit it. And I am sorry." He paused. "But you must admit you do flirt quite a bit."
She gasped. "I do not."
"You most certainly do. I"ve seen you. Take, for example, dinner parties. Inevitably you have the man beside you smitten by the end of the second course."
"I can be most charming." She sniffed.
"Hah." He scoffed. "You are an outrageous flirt."
"Before we were married perhaps."
"Before we were married you-"
She sucked in a hard breath. "I what?"
The charge hung in the air between them.
"You weren"t exactly ..." He paused, obviously realizing what he was about to say and thinking better of it.
It was too late. "I wasn"t exactly virginal? Is that what you were going to say?"
"But I didn"t," he said quickly. "You must give me credit for that."
"You don"t deserve credit for anything," she said sharply. "And isn"t that the pot calling the kettle black. Your escapades were legendary."
"I"m a man," he said staunchly. "It"s different for men."
"Is that what this is all about?" Disbelief and shock gripped her. She glared at him. "Because I was not a virgin when we wed, you think I"m willing to fall into bed with anyone?"
"No, of course not," he said firmly. "Not anyone."
"And yet you did."
"Yes, I did," he snapped. "And I apologize."
She glared at him. "And that"s it? You apologize and I am supposed to forgive you? To go on as if nothing has happened?"
"That would be preferable." He glared back.
"I am furious with you!"
"I can see that."
"You lied to me!"
"I did not." He paused. "When?"
"When you said that nothing that happened before we were married was important. That our lives began when we met."
"That was years ago. But I did mean it," he added quickly.
"Not enough apparently." She narrowed her eyes. "Now, not only have you thrown my past in my face-"
"No, that"s not-"
"But you have used it as an excuse for why you believed me to be unfaithful."
"I know it may appear that way ..." He stepped toward her. "But your past was the last thing on my mind."
"I"m not sure if that"s better or worse." She studied him for a long, hard moment. "Do you understand that I am not only angry but deeply hurt?"
Shock crossed his face as if she had slapped him hard. Pity, it hadn"t occurred to her to do so. He shook his head. "I would never do anything to hurt you."
"And yet ..." Without warning her throat tightened. She absolutely refused to cry in front of him. She was in the right. She was the injured party. She was the one who, in very many ways, was betrayed. "You have."
"Can you forgive me?" His gaze searched her face.
"Probably." She shook her head. "But not yet."
"I see." He studied her. "When?"
"I don"t know." She drew a deep breath. "I am going to spend a great deal of your money."
He nodded. "If you wish."
"I"m going to refurbish the house Celeste resides in. And I"m going to do it in a grand and extravagant manner."
"I would expect nothing less."
"And while I am doing it ..." She made the decision even as she said the words. "I intend to live there to oversee the work."
"You"re going to move out?" he said carefully.
She nodded.
"For how long?"
Wasn"t he going to stop her? She shrugged. "As long as is necessary."
He studied her for a long moment. "You"re not talking about the refurbishing, are you?"
"It seems we have a question of trust between us now. Or rather lack of it. I have always trusted you and thought you trusted me-"
"I do!"
Then stop me! "Not enough obviously." She chose her words with care. "Trust, my love, needs to be nurtured. And when torn asunder, rebuilt."
"But I do trust you."
"Perhaps. But I"m not sure I trust you."