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So-Called Queen
Queen Sisi recalled, "The imperial capital was a flourishing and prosperous location with light ubiquitously seen and the fragrance of food whisking through the air. I once looked at the grandiose city that I couldn"t be any more proud of. The city belonged to my father. I wasn"t the child everyone was fond of, but I could still view the entire city from the empire"s most prosperous imperial palace.
When I fell to rock bottom in the city, however, I finally saw the true nature of the city. I finally saw the side that I had never seen before. That was how the entire world looked. That was the real imperial capital truly was. Inside the imperial capital, in the areas where the lowest people in society resided and in the dark and shabby alleys, not everyone got to eat a full meal. Corpses would also randomly appear. Not everyone looked at each other with smiles. There wasn"t even one person who was willing to spare a young girl a little something to eat.
I had no home and nowhere to go. In fact, I couldn"t state my name. The city belonged to me, yet it abandoned me. I clearly didn"t do anything wrong, yet I was exiled in my own city. They say the situation may turn for the better, but why was the wind still so cold?
I had nowhere to go. All I could eat was food that I begged others for. Children younger than me threw food at me as if I was a dog. I had never suffered such humiliation. My tears coursed down face, but my starving belly and teeth desperately bit into the dirty food."
Humiliated beyond imagination, young Sisi cried uncontrollably. As a matter of fact, she wanted to bang her head on a wall and die. Alas, she was scared. She was more afraid of dying than her arduous life. She was more afraid of pain. The fear was so overwhelming that she couldn"t stop her trembling. She truly didn"t want to die. She wanted to live.
Queen Sisi continued to recall her childhood memories: "I had to abandon my dignity to survive. It"s impossible for a human being to live in a dog kennel. The only way for it to be possible is to become a dog. Whose fault is all this? Who made me fall to this point? Whose fault was it? It wasn"t their fault; people in this world are just that way by nature. They"re vile, greedy, selfish and sinister. That"s human nature. That is the most authentic side of humanity. That is the human race countless poets and artists have lauded. That"s human nature in its most naked form. I shouldn"t be blaming their nature, for I, too, am human, and this is the way we are. The one who destroyed me was my father!
My father destroyed me! Had it not been for his kindness, negligence of everything and had he not been generous and agreed to everything, they couldn"t possibly have done that! Had Father just eradicated all of the n.o.bles in the South after conquering the South, none of this would"ve happened!!! Had Father done a good job of managing the people, they would"ve fought for him! Had Father been able to increase the number of guards in the palace, it could"ve been avoided! Had father killed the n.o.bles in the South instead of forgiving them, this could"ve been avoided!
Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?!!!!
This is all Father"s fault! Father was the very reason he was hung. It was his fault that my family was hunted! It was also his fault that I"m in this state!! It"s his fault! Everything is his fault!! His so-called kindness led to his and his family"s demise! It was all because of his useless kindness!! Kindness is useless in this world. There are is no room for kindness in this world."
"Your Majesty. Your Majesty…" called a lady-in-waiting, shaking Queen Sisi.
Queen Sisi crankily knocked away the hand shaking her and then curled up into a ball inside her blanket again. She pouted: "Don"t wake me. I want to sleep for a little longer. This feels amazing… too amazing…"
The lady-in-waiting and hopelessly said, "Your Majesty, do not sleep anymore. We will be arriving anytime now. You need to wake up to change."
"Why do I need to wear special clothes to see Little Doggy? I can just wear this."
The point was that Queen Sisi usually slept nude. She only had thin sleepwear and silk socks on - if silk socks could even be considered clothes, that is…
"You cannot do that, Your Majesty. You could get away with it if you were seeing your favoured va.s.sal, but you will definitely have to see all of the townsfolk. They are surely prepared for you. As you a monarch, you cannot embarra.s.s yourself even if you are seeing heretics. You need to hurry and change. Oh, right, Your Majesty, do you have any thoughts on where you want to stay? They said in their letter that there was no appropriate place for you to stay, but you could stay at their place."
"Great! I want to share a bed with Veirya. Veirya"s body is warm and soft. I love the sensation of hugging her. I want to sleep together with Veirya."
Queen Sisi, who was feeling lazy and couldn"t be bothered, immediately reacted amazingly excited upon hearing the lady-in-waiting"s question. She sat up from her bed and picked up her clothes by the side. The lady-in-waiting felt relieved.
"Veirya would accept sleeping with Queen Sisi, because she has never refused Queen Sisi. As for that gentleman, nothing would happen between Her Majesty and him, right? Even if something did, it"s not my place to be concerning myself with it," thought the lady-in-waiting.
The escort was a grand team, but even though it was the Queen"s escort, they appeared small and insignificant in the natural wild. If they stood on high grounds, the sight of the simple walls and shabby small town would already be visible. Nonetheless, the outside perimeter of the town was a field of lush scenery, which was evidence there was life in the city. The barren land had finally seen humanity"s light.
Queen Sisi didn"t like the place; however, it was where the man she was interested in resided and the place that housed something that she would very soon be interested in. It was her northernmost place. Henceforward, though, it might become her central hub.
Queen Sisi pledged to herself, "I"m the Queen of humanity"s empire. How will my future look? I may very well become the ruler of the entire world from now on. My past will forever be nothing more than my past. That innocent young girl will remain only in my dreams. What happened in the past will never happen to me again."
Queen Sisi never lived in the past; she always kept her eyes on the future. Perhaps she refused to recall her past because it was too miserable for her. She looked at the path ahead and only ever thought about what she"d see in the future. Queen Sisi believed, "I"ve gone through h.e.l.l before, so I"m not afraid of falling again. Every decision is a gamble, but gambling doesn"t men betting your luck. Gambling can be controlled with skill, too."