"Why, to be sure I do. When I learned that the next room was let, I asked to whom!"
"Yes, when people meet us together, no doubt, as you say, they will remark: "What a lucky fellow that Rudolph is!" and will envy me."
"So much the better."
"They will think me perfectly happy."
"Of course they will; and so much the better!"
"And if I should not be so happy as I seem?"
"What does that matter, provided they believe it; men require nothing further than mere outward show."
"But your reputation?"
Miss Dimpleton burst into an immoderate fit of laughter.
"The reputation of a grisette! Would any one believe in such a phenomenon?" answered she. "If I had father or mother, brother or sister, for them I should be careful of what people would say: but I am alone in the world, and it"s my own look out. As long as I am satisfied with myself, I don"t care a snap for others!"
"But still I should be very uncomfortable."
"What for?"
"In being thought happy in having you for a companion, while, on the contrary, I love you. It would be something like taking dinner with Papa Cretu--eating dry bread, whilst a cookery book was being read to me."
"Nonsense, nonsense! You will be very happy to live after my fashion.
I shall prove so mild, grateful, and unwearying, that you will say: "After all, it is as well to pa.s.s my Sunday, with her as with any one else." If you should be disengaged in the evenings, during the week, and it would not annoy you, you might pa.s.s them in my room, and have the advantage of my fire and lamp, you could hire romances, and read them aloud to me. Better than go and lose your money at billiards.
Otherwise, if you were kept late at your business, or you liked better to go to the _cafe_, you could wish me good-night on your return, if I were still up. But should I be in bed, at an early hour next day I would say good-morning, by tapping at the wall to waken you. M.
Germain, my last neighbor, spent all his evenings in that manner with me, and did not complain; he read all Walter Scott"s works to me, which were very interesting. Sometimes on Sunday, when the weather was bad, instead of leaving home, he bought something nice, and we made a downright banquet in my room; after which we amused ourselves with reading, and I was almost as much pleased as if I had been at the theater. This is to show you that it would not be difficult to live with me, and that I will do what I can to make things pleasant and agreeable. And then, you, who talk of illness, if ever you should be laid up, I"ll be a real Sister of Charity; only ask the Morels what sort of a nurse I am! So, you see, you are not aware of all your happiness; it is as good as a lucky hit in the lottery to have me for a neighbor."
"That is true, I have always been lucky; but, speaking of M. Germain, where is he now?"
"In Paris, I believe."
"Then you never see him now?"
"Since he left this house, he has not been to see me."
"But where does he live, and what is he doing?"
"Why do you ask those questions, neighbor?"
"Because I feel jealous of him," said Rudolph, smiling, "and I would--"
"Jealous!" exclaimed Miss Dimpleton, laughing. "There is no reason for that, poor fellow!"
"Seriously, then, I have the greatest interest in knowing the address of M. Germain; you know where he lives, and I may, without boasting, add, that I am incapable of abusing the secret I ask of you; it will be for his interest also." "Seriously, neighbor, I believe you wish every good to M. Germain, but he made me promise not to give his address to any one; therefore, be a.s.sured, that as I do not give it to you, it is because I cannot. You ought not to be angry with me; if you had intrusted a secret to me, you would be pleased to find I acted as I am now doing."
"But--"
"Stop, neighbor! Once for all, do not speak to me any more on that subject; I have made a promise, I intend to keep it, and, whatever you may say to me, I shall still answer you in the same way."
In spite of her giddiness and frivolity, the girl p.r.o.nounced these last words so decisively, that Rudolph felt, to his great regret, that he would never obtain from her the desired information about Germain; and he felt a repugnance to employ artifice in surprising her confidence. He paused a moment, and then resumed: "Do not let us speak of it again, neighbor. Upon my soul, you keep so well the secrets of others, that I am no longer surprised at your keeping your own."
"Secrets! I have secrets! I wish I had some; it must be so very amusing."
"Do you mean to say that you have not a little secret of the heart?"
"A secret of the heart!"
"In a word, have you never loved?" said Rudolph, looking steadfastly at Miss Dimpleton, to read the truth in her tell-tale face.
"Loved!--have I not loved M. Giraudeau, M. Cabrion, M. Germain, and you?"
"And did you love them the same as you love me--neither more nor less?"
"Oh, I cannot tell you that, exactly--less, perhaps; for I had to habituate myself to the squint of M. Giraudeau, to the red beard and disagreeable jests of M. Cabrion, and the melancholy of M. Germain, for he was so very sad, poor young man: while you, on the contrary, pleased me instantly."
"You will not feel angry, neighbor, if I speak to you as a friend?"
"Oh, no, don"t be afraid--I am very good-natured; and then you are so kind, that I am sure you have not the heart to say anything that would cause me pain."
"Certainly not; but now, frankly, have you never had--a lover?"
"Lovers! Now, is that very likely? Have I time for that?"
"But what has time to do with it?"
"Everything. First of all, I should be as jealous as a tiger, and I should be constantly worrying myself with one idea or the other. Then, again, do I earn money enough to enable me to lose two or three hours a day in grief and tears?--and if he deceived me, what weeping, what sorrow! All that would throw me pretty well behindhand, you may guess."
"But all lovers are not unfaithful, and do not cause their mistresses to weep."
"That would be still worse. If he were very good and loving, could I live a moment away from him? And then, as most likely he would be obliged to stay all day, either at the desk, manufactory, or shop, I should be like a poor restless spirit during his absence. I should invent a thousand chimeras; imagine that others loved him, and that he was with them. Heaven only knows what I might be tempted to do in my despair! Certain it is, that my work would be neglected, and what would become of me then? I can manage, quiet as I am, to live by working twelve or fourteen hours a day; but, were I to lose two or three days in the week by tormenting myself, how could I make up the lost time? Impossible! I must then take a situation. Oh, no, I love my liberty too well."
"Your liberty?"
"Yes; I could enter as forewoman to the person who now employs me; I should receive four hundred francs a year, with board and lodging."
"And you will not accept that?"
"No, indeed. I should be dependent on others; instead of which, however humble my home may be, it is my own. I owe no one anything; I have courage, health and gayety: with an agreeable neighbor like yourself, what do I want more?"
"Then you have never thought of marrying?"
"I marry! I could only expect to meet with a husband as poor as myself; and look at the unhappy Morels--see where it ends! When you have but yourself to look to, you can always manage somehow."
"Then you never build castles in the air--never dream?"
"Yes, I dream of my chimney-ornaments; besides them what can I desire?"