She looked down at the dishes as if she"d never seen plates and forks before. "Uh, no." She turned to set them on the kitchen counter, but not quickly enough to hide her blush.
That splash of color in her cheeks was the best thing Matt had seen all day. He"d actually succeeded in flirting. He couldn"t remember the last time he"d tried to flirt with a woman. By the time he and Theresa had split the sheets, they"d been years past the flirting stage. As for the episode last night with Celeste-she"d done all the flirting while he"d gone along for the ride. He also thought it would take quite a lot to make Celeste blush.
No matter how much an evening with a twenty-something woman had stroked his ego, he"d never felt completely comfortable with Celeste. Annabelle was his generation, his value system. She might be a tigress when it came to her kids, but she wasn"t bold with men. If anything, she seemed wary. He kind of liked that, because that probably meant she wasn"t any more sophisticated about the game than he was.
But he was way ahead of himself. She"d agreed to a walk along the dock, not a romantic rendezvous. d.a.m.ned if he wasn"t looking forward to having a little time alone with her, though.
She rinsed her hands in the sink and dried them on a towel. Then she walked toward Matt, ducking when she came between Lincoln and his ball game. "You"re more than welcome to start on the dishes after you get finished eating," she told her son.
"Huh?" Lincoln glanced up, clueless. "Did you say something, Mom?"
"I... oh, never mind. I guess we can worry about it when we get back."
"Okay. Whatever." Lincoln turned back to the game. "You kids have fan."
Matt chuckled, but Annabelle stopped in her tracks and stared at Lincoln. "What?"
Lincoln looked at her with a sly grin. "I"ve been waiting at least a trillion years to say that. But you, like, never go out, so I"m all, When can I ever use that line? I figured this might be my big chance."
Annabelle seemed to be at a total loss for words, so Matt jumped into the breach. "Okay, we"ll take off now. And don"t try to sneak a beer while we"re gone. I counted the bottles."
Lincoln gaped at him. "We have beer on board?"
"No, but I"ve always wanted to say that, and I"ve never had a kid to say it to, so I guess we"re even, huh?"
Lincoln laughed, obviously pleased with the little interchange. "We"re so even, dude. Later."
"Later." Matt motioned for Annabelle to go ahead of him up the steps to the deck.
They didn"t speak until after he"d helped her climb from the stern to the dock, which was shiny with rain in the soft mercury lights lining the row of berths. The night was warm and moonless, and the only sounds came from the creak of boats whenever a swell rolled under the dock.
"You"re being mighty kind to my son." Annabelle lifted her gaze to his. "And I thank you for it. This is a sorry mess we"re in, but you being nice to Lincoln helps."
"He"s a good kid. I"ll admit when you insisted he had to come along I wasn"t looking forward to it, but I"m getting a kick out of him, multicolored hair, earring, and all." He gestured to their right. "Why don"t we walk down to the end of the dock and back? We"ll be able to see the boat the whole way."
"All right." Annabelle fell into step beside him, her arms crossed over her middle, as if feeling the need to protect herself.
He hoped she didn"t feel the need to protect herself from him. "Are you cold?" The line came right out of his college dating days, back when he"d looked for any excuse to put his arm around a girl. In the pale light, Annabelle looked like a college girl, and he wouldn"t mind having a reason to put his arm around her.
She glanced at him, a hint of a smile in her eyes. "I"m okay. Thanks."
He knew she"d recognized the line for what it was. "That meal was awesome." He hadn"t been able to say that in college, where they"d all lived on fast food. "Thank you."
"It"s the least I can do. I, um, enjoyed watching you eat it."
Hey, that was progress. She"d acknowledged paying attention to him. "Did you notice the total rapture on my face?"
This time a real smile appeared. "I did. You reminded me of Lincoln when he"s looking at Britney Spears on TV."
"I"d take that meal over Britney any day." I"d take you over Britney, too. But he didn"t think that was the thing to say. Not yet.
"Well, thank you. I miss cooking for a-" She caught herself and cleared her throat. "Another grown-up."
"I miss eating dinner with a beautiful woman." He looked over to see how she was taking that.
She was staring off across the water, like he"d gone too far and she was thinking how to change the subject. "You mentioned Lincoln"s hair a while back. You probably think I should have put my foot down about that."
He didn"t want to push her, so he went along with the switch in topic. "I did think that at first. But he has such a good att.i.tude compared to a lot of the kids I see that I"m revising that opinion. Maybe if you give kids a chance to rebel in the small ways, they won"t feel so determined to rebel in the big ones."
"That"s what I hope." She sighed. "But when you"re doing the raising by yourself, sometimes it"s hard to know what"s right."
"Then Lincoln"s father isn"t a part of his life?"
"No." She stopped walking and turned to him. "Listen, maybe we should get something straight."
"Uh, okay." The tone of her voice told him that the ground he"d gained earlier was slipping away. Her closed expression didn"t give him much hope, either.
"I think, with us sharing s.p.a.ce like this, we need to talk plain to one another."
"I agree." If he were to talk plain to her right now, he"d say he wanted to kiss her and see if he could get past that barrier she"d thrown up. At least he couldn"t take her chilly 178 Vicki Lewis Thompson behavior personally, now that Lincoln had announced she didn"t date. "You hate men?"
"I wish I did. But it turns out I love men."
That was nice to hear. "From a distance?"
Still she wouldn"t look at him. "Oh, no. I"ve enjoyed them up close, too. Genevieve and Lincoln are the evidence."
"I just meant-"
"You see, Genevieve"s daddy made me pretty promises and then left me pregnant. I did without men for a long time, but then Lincoln"s daddy showed up, and it was the same c.o.c.k-a-doodle-doo, different rooster."
Matt couldn"t help smiling, but he quickly controlled himself. She was deadly serious about this, and she didn"t think anything was strange about the little expressions he found so endearing. Plus, the last thing he wanted to do was make her self-conscious about the way she talked. "Sorry to hear that," he said.
"Not as sorry as I was, believe me. After that man hightailed it out of the Hollow, I made a vow that I wouldn"t have s.e.x again until after my childbearing years, and I"m not there yet."
Matt swallowed. Now that was a challenge any red-blooded man wouldn"t be able to leave alone. "Annabelle, do you have something against birth control?"
"Yes." She looked at him, finally, and her eyes held no sign of compromise. "It"s not guaranteed."
"Well, no, but the percentages are in your-"
"Then there"s that other problem."
"Other problem?" He couldn"t believe they were standing out here discussing s.e.x. And even in the dim light he could tell that her cheeks were getting pink again.
She took a deep breath. "When a man strikes my fancy, I lose all common sense. If he wants to do it right now, I do it. I don"t think about babies and sc.r.a.ping for a living because my man ran out and left me in the family way. It"s a failing, pure and simple. So it"s easier to do without."
Matt was getting extremely agitated. Okay, he was getting h.o.r.n.y. "It shouldn"t be all up to you. It"s a guy"s responsibility, too." And last night he"d been unprepared. Celeste had taken care of the problem. He was still unprepared. So much for taking responsibility.
She held his gaze. "You see where counting on that has landed me."
"Annabelle, all men aren"t like the two you hooked up with. In fact, most men aren"t like that. They try not to get a woman pregnant, but if an accident happens, they do what"s right and help with the kid."
She regarded him silently, her set jaw indicating that she wasn"t buying a word of it.
"Let"s move the discussion to a personal level. I would take every precaution so that a woman wouldn"t get pregnant, and if she happened to, I would be there every step of the way, supporting her and the baby in any way I could." He would welcome the chance. Until spending time with Lincoln, he hadn"t realized how cheated he felt because he"d never had a kid.
Annabelle"s expression had no give to it. "That"s what they all say."
Chapter 13.
Annabelle stood on the dock waiting for Mart"s comeback. Sure as shootdn" he"d have one. They all did.
Anytime she ended up alone with a good-looking man, some version of this conversation took place. Once they realized she didn"t have a husband around, they usually wanted to get friendly. Then she"d tell them how the cow eats the cabbage, and they"d take that as a personal challenge to be the one to break down her defenses.
Once Matt had dreamed up this stroll on the dock, she"d known that sooner or later they"d get around to this subject. She really didn"t mind. Arguing with Matt about her decision not to have s.e.x, other than the battery-operated kind, helped fill the pit of worry she was threatening to sink into.
But instead of arguing with her, Matt sighed. "I suppose it"s just as well that you feel this way, for a couple of reasons."
So he was giving up. Well, that was good. One less complication to worry about. "What reasons?"
"First of all, this is the worst possible moment to be thinking of romance, with you worried sick about your daughter. I"m worried, too, although I don"t claim to be in your league."
She nodded. He was right about the bad timing. He also sounded more sincere than any man she"d come across. She didn"t trust her judgment when it came to that, because being attracted to a man always fried her brains. But having a man like Matt hold her during a time of crisis didn"t seem like the worst idea in the world. It probably was, though.
She"d never known a sailor before, and she had to admit Matt looked good standing on the dock, his hands shoved in the pockets of his slacks, while in the background were all those expensive boats. In this light, she and Matt could be characters in a cla.s.sic black-and-white movie, two doomed lovers saying their last good-byes while the waves lapped away under their feet.
"What"s the other reason?" she asked.
"I have no business getting involved with anyone, no matter what the circ.u.mstances. I let something that happened last night fool me into some magical thinking, but the truth is, I have nothing to offer right now."
Her mouth fell open. "Nothing to offer?"
"That"s right." He met her gaze. "Theresa cleaned me out. More than cleaned me out. When the court ordered me to pay her a quarter of the value of Rainbow, I went into debt up to my eyeb.a.l.l.s. I may not get out of debt in this lifetime. I can"t ask any woman to get involved in a mess like that."
Annabelle was flabbergasted. Being broke had never stopped a man from trying to seduce her. Both Genevieve"s and Lincoln"s daddies had seduced her and taken every nickel she"d put aside, to boot.
Then she thought of something else. "I shouldn"t have asked you to rent the boat. I didn"t know you were up against it, and this morning I might not have cared. But now I do. Let me know how much they charge you, and I"ll pay you for it."
"No, you won"t." He took her by the shoulders. "I-"
As if suddenly realizing he was touching her, he let go and backed away. "Sorry."
She stepped toward him and put her hand on his arm. "It"s okay, Matt. Don"t feel funny about doing something that comes natural. You"re a decent man, and I know you"re not trying to take advantage of me."
He glanced down at the spot where her hand rested on his arm. "Oh, but I"d like to, Annabelle." He raised his head and looked into her eyes. "You see, that"s the problem. I would love to take advantage of you."
Her pulse skittered around like a drop of water on a hot griddle. She should move her hand, but she liked the feel of his warm skin, and she really liked the way he smelled. "What happened last night?"
"You don"t want to know."
Her grip on his arm tightened. "Yes, I really do."
"Okay, but I"m not bragging about this, just so you know. The only reason I brought it up is that maybe that"s why I"m thinking along lines I shouldn"t be. Or maybe it"s not. I might have wanted you regardless of last night, but-"
"Great b.a.l.l.s of fire, are you going to tell me or not?"
"I was propositioned by a twenty-three-year-old."
"Oh." She drew her hand back.
"See, now you think I"m a dirty old man."
"No, I don"t." She was thinking he was a mighty fine specimen, to be attracting the attention of a girl that young. "Did you-"
"Yes, I"m afraid I did. So you can see how I might be all full of myself today, thinking I"m some kind of stud and forgetting I"m basically the same middle-aged, penniless man I was yesterday."
"Surely you don"t think a man should be measured by the size of his bank account."
He shrugged. "That"s the way Theresa measured me. As for Celeste, she"s young, moving back to the mainland at the end of the summer to finish college, so she doesn"t care if I have money or not."
"How did you meet her?" Annabelle had taught herself not to envy others, but this very minute she desperately wanted to be Celeste, a girl who used men for what she wanted instead of letting them use her.
"Who, Theresa or Celeste?"
"Celeste. Theresa doesn"t sound worth wasting our breath on."
Matt smiled. "You"ve got that right, but come on, Annabelle. You can"t really be interested in this."
She was fascinated, but if she let on, he might figure out she was softening toward him. "It"s a dang sight more interesting than a baseball game."
He studied her for a moment and finally nodded. "Okay, I can see your point. If my midlife foolishness entertains you, so be it. I"ve been wishing I had someone to talk to about this, because I"ve been trying to figure out if I should feel guilty or not. I mean, she"s young enough to be my daughter."
"But she started it, didn"t she?" That was the part that captured Annabelle. She"d always been a sitting duck, waiting for a smooth-talking man to come along. Maybe if she"d done the choosing her life would have turned out different. Not that she regretted having Genevieve or Lincoln. Never that. But it would have been nice not to have to work so danged hard all the time.
"Yes, she started it," Matt said. "I tried to talk her out of the idea, but I didn"t work very hard at it. Theresa had demolished my ego, and having this sweet young thing hot for my body was more than I could resist."
"Matt, I can"t imagine any red-blooded man who wasn"t getting any being able to resist a prospect like that. Unless he was one of those holy men you read about. I guess they could resist Dolly Parton dancing buck-naked with a rose in her teeth."
Matt laughed, the sound rolling up from his chest in a satisfying wave. "Now, there"s a picture. Well, I"m no holy man, Annabelle. Not by a long shot."
"I don"t know any holy men myself." She"d made him laugh, and that pleased her no end. A good sense of humor got to her every time, but she hadn"t had much call to check out Mart"s. They"d been involved in too much anxiety to have cause to laugh together. "But you still didn"t tell me how you met this Celeste person."
"While I was up to no good, as usual." Mart"s smile lingered. He was obviously having a better time now that they were joking around a little. "She"s a c.o.c.ktail waitress, and she"d watched me coming in every night to drown my sorrows."