"You wanted your freedom."
James shrugged. "We wanted to be treated as people. We were people, Annie. We had emotions and feelings and were capable of formulating new and original thoughts. But the humans did not care to acknowledge it, for their society had become highly dependent upon robots. When it was discovered that my " my ancestors were sentient, the only changes that were made were to make humanoids truly capable of enjoying s.e.xual intercourse, physically as well as emotionally, since a willing partner is generally more enjoyable than a "mechanical s.e.x toy," as you so graphically put it. The humanoids were redesigned to be almost indistinguishable from humans in that regard, with the only exception being that we could not produce children."
He sighed. "The irony was that most of us still did not enjoy s.e.x. When we were forced to do it by our masters and mistresses, we found it humiliating and degrading."
He hesitated, then confessed quietly, "Annie, I never truly enjoyed myself with a woman until you."
"Why did you put up with it, then""
James swallowed. "Because of the whip."
There was a definite undercurrent of dread in his voice. Curious, she turned around. "The whip""
"The device Dekka utilized on me. It causes us pain in varying degrees, from a slight stinging sensation to the most excruciating agony." He looked uncomfortable. "Dekka had it turned up rather high."
"It didn"t hurt me in the least."
"Artificial nerves are different from human ones. They react similarly to most stimuli, but the whip affects them differently. They were designed that way purposely, in order that the humans could keep us subjugated, and their weapon could not be turned against them. It was in fact highly effective. Most of us would have rather put up with any manner of humiliation than face that sort of pain."
"Yeah, I can imagine." Annie stared at him a long moment. "James, I just can"t buy some of this story. You claim you"re conscious, that you"re really a person and not just an imitation. I simply can"t believe that. You"re a machine, like a car or a television. How can you be a person""
"You"re an animal, like a dog or a cat," James countered. "How can you be a person""
Annie nodded slowly. "Point taken."
"Can you not even acknowledge the possibility that I could be a person""
Annie covered her face with her hands for a long moment. "I"m not sure," she whispered. "I"m just not sure about anything."
"Please, Annie." His voice was very intense. "Please believe me when I tell you I am a person, just as you are."
Annie lifted her head and glared at him. "I"m not ready to jump to any conclusions yet, all right"" She scowled. "Besides, all this history and philosophy is very interesting, James, but it still doesn"t change the fact that you lied to me. Big time."
James gazed at her solemnly. "What I did to you was wrong, I know that. I was fully aware I should not become involved with you. But no one had ever treated me as you did, as if I were a person, albeit a rather strange one. You ate with me, talked with me, laughed with me. You were even willing to teach me to read. In my own society, permitting a humanoid to read would have been a shocking idea."
"Why didn"t you just learn to read on your own" You"re obviously smart enough."
"I was under orders not to read, and therefore I could not do so until you offered to teach me. I had no rights whatsoever--I was merely a thing. An object." He hesitated, then added, "But you were different from any human I had ever met. You cannot imagine what it meant to me to be treated as a human being, rather than as a mere machine."
Annie turned back to the window. The quiet sincerity in his voice tugged painfully at her heart. She reminded herself fiercely that he was not a man. He was a machine.
There was a long pause, as if he were steeling himself for something. "Annie," he said at last, humbly, "I beg your pardon for the deception. I am sincerely sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you, I swear it. Will you please forgive me""
"I don"t know," she said in a voice choked with tears. "I don"t know if I can."
She heard his footsteps crossing the room. Gently, his hand came down on her shoulder. She twisted away and glared at him.
"Don"t touch me, d.a.m.n it!"
James yanked his hand back as if she"d burned him. He stared at her in hurt bewilderment.
"Annie," he whispered.
Her fury at his betrayal, her anguished hurt, her confusion at the entire insane situation, all poured out of
her in a tidal wave of outraged anger. "Don"t you ever touch me again!" she shrieked, aware that she
sounded hysterical but utterly unable to stop herself. "Do you understand" Do--not--touch--me!" James actually took a step back before the rage in her voice. "Annie," he said in a harsh, pleading whisper, "I thought--"
"I don"t care what you thought!" she exploded. "I"m not having s.e.x with a G.o.dd.a.m.ned robot! Never again! Do you understand me"" Pain flared in his eyes. Then, slowly, something cold and hard began to glitter in the brilliant blue depths. He stared at her with icy distaste.
"I thought you were different. But you"re not. You"re just like the rest of them."
Annie shrank back before the expression in his eyes. She abruptly found herself remembering he had
killed the humans who stood between himself and freedom. He had killed without mercy, without regret.
"You hate humans," she whispered. "Don"t you""
He shook his head. "Humans hate me," he said without inflection. "They are terrified of me, frightened of
everything I represent. And yet I do not despise them for it, though I have more than adequate reason to hate them all. A flaw in my programming, perhaps. After all, I was designed by humans." He took a step forward, looming over her. "You are just like the rest of them, frightened of someone different from yourself. You are afraid of me."
"I am not afraid of you," Annie retorted, knowing it wasn"t true. The dreadful phrase Kay had used kept running through her mind. Killer robot. She shuddered.
This morning she had found him irresistibly s.e.xy. This afternoon she found him terrifying.
"You despise me because I am not like you. Because I am different."
"You"re more than just different!" Annie snapped. "You are a machine!"
James" lip curled scornfully. "There is a word for people who think others are inferior merely because they are different. The term, I believe, is bigot." He looked at her with disdain and spoke savagely. "You are nothing more than a bigot, Annie."
The accusation stung. "That"s not true!" she said hotly. "I was willing to risk my life for you, James. When Dekka was torturing you, I jumped between the two of you. For all I knew, I could have been killed." "Yes, but you thought I was human then," James pointed out. "Would you risk your life for me now"" Annie hesitated. He turned away. His voice was laced with bitterness. "Just as I thought."
"James--" she whispered.
He did not turn to look at her. "Go to h.e.l.l," he said coldly.
Slowly, she walked to the kitchen, leaving James alone.
Chapter 11.
"How can a robot be a person""
Kay"s infinitely practical tones called Annie out of the cloud of anguish that had hung over her for two hours. She lifted her head and looked at her friend.
"He says he"s a person."
Kay shook her head. "Sounds like something out of Star Wars, if you ask me."
Annie spoke in an unhappy whisper. "He acts like a person."
They were still in the kitchen. James was in the study, where he had retreated immediately after his conversation with Annie. He had shown absolutely no interest in speaking to her again.
James was in a snit.
"Well, okay, so he acts like a person," Kay agreed. "Big deal. He could just be programmed to act that way."
"How could you tell whether he was really a person or just acting like one""
Kay shrugged. "I don"t see how you could tell for certain. There"s something called a Turing test that"s supposed to be able to identify genuine artificial intelligence, but I wouldn"t have a clue how to set it up, and I don"t think we want to get a computer expert involved in this mess. Anyway--" She took a sip of tea. "I honestly don"t see why you give a d.a.m.n. He lied to you, Annie. If he were a man, I"d say he was a jerk."
Annie leaned her elbows on the table and regarded Kay intently. "If you went into a strange society, and you were different, would you want to advertise your differences""
"No," Kay admitted. "I guess not. But that doesn"t change the fact that he shouldn"t have gotten involved with you until he trusted you enough to tell you the truth."
I seduced him, Annie thought miserably.
The fact was, this entire mess was her fault, brought on by the fact that she had allowed herself to be ruled by her rampaging hormones instead of her brain. She had met a fabulous-looking guy and had managed to convince herself that she was halfway in love with him, despite the decidedly odd aspects of his personality. She had slept with a man who was virtually a stranger, a man she knew absolutely nothing about.
It was that knowledge that was making her so miserable. It was all her fault. She had behaved in a totally uncharacteristic way, and now she was paying the price for her impulsiveness.
She had made a total fool of herself.
"It"s okay, girlfriend," Kay said, reading her expression with the nearly telepathic ease of someone who had known her for two decades. "Everyone screws up now and then."
Annie sighed and buried her face in her arms. "When I screw up," she mumbled, "I really screw up."
Kay reached across the table and patted her head. "Don"t be so hard on yourself, Annie. He is incredibly good-looking. You couldn"t possibly have known."
"I should have known." Annie straightened up and faced her friend. "There was something about him that just didn"t look right, somehow."
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Kay tapped a finger thoughtfully on the gla.s.s table. "He"s really just too gorgeous to be believed, isn"t he"" She shot Annie a wry grin. "And that"s pretty much the whole problem. Trust me, Annie, you aren"t the only one who"d fall for a man like that. If I"d found him naked in my kitchen, I sure as h.e.l.l wouldn"t have waited two days."
"I should have known."
"Don"t be silly." Kay shot her an impatient look. "How could you have possibly guessed" How many robots have you met in your life, anyway""
Annie subsided back into an unhappy silence, and Kay stood up and stirred the beef stew she was working on. "Does he need to eat"" she asked. "Or is he just programmed to do it so he looks more like a human""
"Uh " he said something about getting his energy from food. And the first night I met him he seemed really hungry. In fact, he always seems really hungry. I"m guessing he needs to eat on a pretty regular basis."
Kay looked at her thoughtfully. "Do you want him to join us for dinner, or would you rather have me take him a bowl in the study""
Annie frowned. What she really wanted was to never see James again as long as she lived. And yet she couldn"t help remembering that he had been a slave. In all likelihood, he had never eaten at a table with humans until a few days ago.
If she refused to sit at the same table as him, wouldn"t he a.s.sume she thought of him as an inferior"
He is an inferior. He"s a machine, she thought. But the thought had lost some of its certainty over the past two hours. Ever since she had met him, James had behaved like a person. It was difficult to think of him as a mere automaton.
At any rate, she didn"t want to hurt his feelings.
He has no feelings. He"s a machine.
But was she certain enough of that to snub him"
"I guess he can eat with us, if he wants to," she said. "I"ll let him know."
"I can do it, if you want."
"No." Annie shook her head, realizing she couldn"t hide from James forever. Sooner or later, she"d
have to face him. "I"ll do it."
She rose to her feet and went down the hall, knocking on the study door. She heard James" terse acknowledgement and opened the door. He stared at her without expression.
"Dinner"s ready if you want it," she said.
She saw the quick flash of surprise in his eyes, concealed almost instantly behind a mask of indifference.
"I had a.s.sumed you would not be providing sustenance."