"G.o.d never puzzled me, Mr. Baxter; it isn"t that," I said; "but the doctrines do worry me dreadfully."
"Let them alone for the present," Mr Baxter said. "Anyway, Rebecca, you can never prove G.o.d; you can only find Him!"
"Then do you think I have really experienced religion, Mr. Baxter?" I asked. "Am I the beginnings of a Christian?"
"You are a dear child of the understanding G.o.d!" Mr. Baxter said; "and I say it over to myself night and morning so that I can never forget it."
The year is nearly over and the next few months will be lived in the rush and whirlwind of work that comes before graduation. The bell for philosophy cla.s.s will ring in ten minutes, and as I have been writing for nearly two hours, I must learn my lesson going up the Academy hill. It will not be the first time; it is a grand hill for learning! I suppose after fifty years or so the very ground has become soaked with knowledge, and every particle of air in the vicinity is crammed with useful information.
I will put my book into my trunk (having no blessed haymow hereabouts) and take it out again,--when shall I take it out again?
After graduation perhaps I shall be too grown up and too busy to write in a Thought Book; but oh, if only something would happen worth putting down; something strange; something unusual; something different from the things that happen every day in Riverboro and Edgewood!
Graduation will surely take me a little out of "the hollow,"--make me a little more like the soaring eagle, gazing at the whole wide world beneath him while he wheels "slow as in sleep." But whether or not, I"ll try not to be a discontented shepherd, but remember what Mr. Baxter said, that the little strip that I see "twixt the hill and the sky" is able to hold all of earth and all of heaven, if only I have the eyes to see it.
Rebecca Rowena Randall.
Wareham Female Seminary, December 187--.
Eleventh Chronicle. ABIJAH THE BRAVE AND THE FAIR EMMAJANE
I
"A warrior so bold and a maiden so bright Conversed as they sat on the green.
They gazed at each other in tender delight.
Alonzo the brave was the name of the knight, And the maid was the fair Imogene.
"Alas!" said the youth, "since tomorrow I go To fight in a far distant land, Your tears for my absence soon ceasing to flow, Some other will court you, and you will bestow On a wealthier suitor your hand."
"Oh, hush these suspicions!" Fair Imogene said, "So hurtful to love and to me!
For if you be living, or if you be dead, I swear by the Virgin that none in your stead Shall the husband of Imogene be!"
Ever since she was eight years old Rebecca had wished to be eighteen, but now that she was within a month of that awe-inspiring and long-desired age she wondered if, after all, it was destined to be a turning point in her quiet existence. Her eleventh year, for instance, had been a real turning-point, since it was then that she had left Sunnybrook Farm and come to her maiden aunts in Riverboro. Aurelia Randall may have been doubtful as to the effect upon her spinster sisters of the irrepressible child, but she was hopeful from the first that the larger opportunities of Riverboro would be the "making" of Rebecca herself.
The next turning-point was her fourteenth year, when she left the district school for the Wareham Female Seminary, then in the hey-day of its local fame. Graduation (next to marriage, perhaps, the most thrilling episode in the life of a little country girl) happened at seventeen, and not long afterward her Aunt Miranda"s death, sudden and unexpected, changed not only all the outward activities and conditions of her life, but played its own part in her development.
The brick house looked very homelike and pleasant on a June morning nowadays with children"s faces smiling at the windows and youthful footsteps sounding through the halls; and the bra.s.s knocker on the red-painted front door might have remembered Rebecca"s prayer of a year before, when she leaned against its sun-warmed brightness and whispered: "G.o.d bless Aunt Miranda; G.o.d bless the brick house that was; G.o.d bless the brick house that"s going to be!"
All the doors and blinds were open to the sun and air as they had never been in Miss Miranda Sawyer"s time. The hollyhock bed that had been her chief pride was never neglected, and Rebecca liked to hear the neighbors say that there was no such row of beautiful plants and no such variety of beautiful colors in Riverboro as those that climbed up and peeped in at the kitchen windows where old Miss Miranda used to sit.
Now that the place was her very own Rebecca felt a pa.s.sion of pride in its smoothly mown fields, its carefully thinned-out woods, its blooming garden spots, and its well-weeded vegetable patch; felt, too whenever she looked at any part of it, a pa.s.sion of grat.i.tude to the stern old aunt who had looked upon her as the future head of the family, as well as a pa.s.sion of desire to be worthy of that trust.
It had been a very difficult year for a girl fresh from school: the death of her aunt, the nursing of Miss Jane, prematurely enfeebled by the shock, the removal of her own invalid mother and the rest of the little family from Sunnybrook Farm. But all had gone smoothly; and when once the Randall fortunes had taken an upward turn nothing seemed able to stop their intrepid ascent.
Aurelia Randall renewed her youth in the companionship of her sister Jane and the comforts by which her children were surrounded; the mortgage was no longer a daily terror, for Sunnybrook had been sold to the new railroad; Hannah, now Mrs. Will Melville, was happily situated; John, at last, was studying medicine; Mark, the boisterous and unlucky brother, had broken no bones for several months; while Jenny and f.a.n.n.y were doing well at the district school under Miss Libby Moses, Miss Dearborn"s successor.
"I don"t feel very safe," thought Rebecca, remembering all these unaccustomed mercies as she sat on the front doorsteps, with her tatting shuttle flying in and out of the fine cotton like a hummingbird. "It"s just like one of those too beautiful July days that winds up with a thundershower before night! Still, when you remember that the Randalls never had anything but thunder and lightning, rain, snow, and hail, in their family history for twelve or fifteen years, perhaps it is only natural that they should enjoy a little spell of settled weather. If it really turns out to BE settled, now that Aunt Jane and mother are strong again I must be looking up one of what Mr. Aladdin calls my cast-off careers."--"There comes Emma Jane Perkins through her front gate; she will be here in a minute, and I"ll tease her!" and Rebecca ran in the door and seated herself at the old piano that stood between the open windows in the parlor.
Peeping from behind the muslin curtains, she waited until Emma Jane was on the very threshold and then began singing her version of an old ballad, made that morning while she was dressing. The ballad was a great favorite of hers, and she counted on doing telling execution with it in the present instance by the simple subterfuge of removing the original hero and heroine, Alonzo and Imogene, and subst.i.tuting Abijah the Brave and the Fair Emmajane, leaving the circ.u.mstances in the first three verses unaltered, because in truth they seemed to require no alteration.
Her high, clear voice, quivering with merriment, floated through the windows into the still summer air:
""A warrior so bold and a maiden so bright Conversed as they sat on the green.
They gazed at each other in tender delight.
Abijah the Brave was the name of the knight, And the maid was the Fair Emmajane.""
"Rebecca Randall, stop! Somebody"ll hear you!"
"No, they won"t--they"re making jelly in the kitchen, miles away."
""Alas!" said the youth, since tomorrow I go To fight in a far distant land, Your tears for my absence soon ceasing to flow, Some other will court you, and you will bestow On a wealthier suitor your hand.""
"Rebecca, you can"t THINK how your voice carries! I believe mother can hear it over to my house!"
"Then, if she can, I must sing the third verse, just to clear your reputation from the cloud cast upon it in the second," laughed her tormentor, going on with the song:
""Oh, hush these suspicions!" Fair Emmajane said, "So hurtful to love and to me! For if you be living, or if you be dead, I swear, my Abijah, that none in your stead, Shall the husband of Emmajane be!""
After ending the third verse Rebecca wheeled around on the piano stool and confronted her friend, who was carefully closing the parlor windows:--
"Emma Jane Perkins, it is an ordinary Thursday afternoon at four o"clock and you have on your new blue barege, although there is not even a church sociable in prospect this evening. What does this mean? Is Abijah the Brave coming at last?"
"I don"t know certainly, but it will be some time this week."
"And of course you"d rather be dressed up and not seen, than seen when not dressed up. Right, my Fair Emmajane; so would I. Not that it makes any difference to poor me, wearing my fourth best black and white calico and expecting n.o.body.
"Oh, well, YOU! There"s something inside of you that does instead of pretty dresses," cried Emma Jane, whose adoration of her friend had never altered nor lessened since they met at the age of eleven. "You know you are as different from anybody else in Riverboro as a princess in a fairy story. Libby Moses says they would notice you in Lowell, Ma.s.sachusetts!"
"Would they? I wonder," speculated Rebecca, rendered almost speechless by this tribute to her charms. "Well, if Lowell, Ma.s.sachusetts, could see me, or if you could see me, in my new lavender muslin with the violet sash, it would die of envy, and so would you!"
"If I had been going to be envious of you, Rebecca, I should have died years ago. Come, let"s go out on the steps where it"s shady and cool."
"And where we can see the Perkins front gate and the road running both ways," teased Rebecca, and then, softening her tone, she said: "How is it getting on, Emmy? Tell me what"s happened since I"ve been in Brunswick."
"Nothing much," confessed Emma Jane. "He writes to me, but I don"t write to him, you know. I don"t dare to, till he comes to the house."
"Are his letters still in Latin?" asked Rebecca, with a twinkling eye.
"Oh, no! Not now, because--well, because there are things you can"t seem to write in Latin. I saw him at the Masonic picnic in the grove, but he won"t say anything REAL to me till he gets more pay and dares to speak to mother and father. He IS brave in all other ways, but I ain"t sure he"ll ever have the courage for that, he"s so afraid of them and always has been. Just remember what"s in his mind all the time, Rebecca, that my folks know all about what his mother was, and how he was born on the poor-farm. Not that I care; look how he"s educated and worked himself up! I think he"s perfectly elegant, and I shouldn"t mind if he had been born in the bulrushes, like Moses."
Emma Jane"s every-day vocabulary was pretty much what it had been before she went to the expensive Wareham Female Seminary. She had acquired a certain amount of information concerning the art of speech, but in moments of strong feeling she lapsed into the vernacular. She grew slowly in all directions, did Emma Jane, and, to use Rebecca"s favorite nautilus figure, she had left comparatively few outgrown sh.e.l.ls on the sh.o.r.es of "life"s unresting sea."
"Moses wasn"t born in the bulrushes, Emmy dear," corrected Rebecca laughingly. "Pharaoh"s daughter found him there. It wasn"t quite as romantic a scene--Squire Bean"s wife taking little Abijah Flagg from the poorhouse when his girl-mother died, but, oh, I think Abijah"s splendid!