Sarah never asked Ed about her situation again.After that awkward talk, Ed did appear to be more withdrawn but Sarah managed to coax him out of it because she never blamed him for anything. In fact, she always had a smile for him.
Each time she saw his happy smile, Sarah felt relief that he was normal with her again, though there was a little twinge of guilt. She would quickly suppress it harshly.
She kept telling herself that she must be loyal to Kyle. Even if Ed was one of the sweetest guys she had met since Kyle, she must not waver.
This was just a test of her feelings for Kyle.
How could she fail when she was so close, right?
So, despite her slight misgivings, she carried on with her plan.
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As usual, instead of pus.h.i.+ng the food through the opening under the door, Ed walked into the room with Sarah"s food.
He had just gone through the door when he caught her straightening her back and viciously rubbing her eyes. Though her back was to him, he knew what she was doing from her actions.
"Dinnertime," he said casually, not showing that he knew what was going on.
Sarah took a few seconds to turn, and he stopped a bit upon seeing her rather sad face that she was trying hard not to show. With her rather ugly smile and red-rimmed eyes, how could he not know that she had been crying?
"Thank you," Sarah said as she took the tray.
When Ed didn"t say anything, Sarah sniffed and rubbed her nose, as if wiping away something. Ed silently handed her a handkerchief.
Sarah was surprised, and this time, her look wasn"t faked as she peered at his face.
"Mother always said a gentleman should carry handkerchiefs," he said, "And things aren"t as bad as they seem. You"re alive, have a roof over your head and food, right?"
Those words brought Sarah out of her reverie, and she chastised herself. How could she have been so touched by his gesture? In the end, he was still working for her captures - even if the reason was a pure one.
He was keeping her from Kyle, so that couldn"t be forgiven.
She hardened her heart.
Sarah smiled brightly at him then, and replied, "I know. I always listen to what you say."
She took his handkerchief, wiped her nose and placed it beside her.
She started eating, and explained hesitatingly, "I am grateful. I have you to keep me company. I have food that"s not bad really."
She sighed a bit and continued eating her meal, which consisted of plain rice, a piece of fried chicken and vegetable soup.
Ed nodded and sat down next to her, whispering, "I slipped in that piece of chicken. I hope it"s not too oily."
Sarah"s hand paused and she suddenly found a lump in her throat.
It was getting harder and harder to be mean to him.
Then, a small voice seemed to admonish her fiercely and talked to her rationally.
Just because she was in love with Kyle did not mean that she had to be mean to Ed. She could be kind and nice to Ed, right? In fact, she could even love him since Country Tz allowed women to marry more than one.
Not that she would, of course, but … it showed that you can have feelings for more than one person.
And Ed was her oasis.
She wasn"t forcing him to do all of these things for her, right?
With that resolved in her mind and heart, she could start the next phase with the weight off her shoulders.
"You"re so good to me," Sarah said, "I really am grateful, really. I know things could be worse."
She sighed softly, "It"s just that sometimes, I think about my own mother and I wonder how she is like. She must be so worried about me."
She played with her food a bit, twirling the spoon in the soup as she whispered softly as if just talking to herself (but loud enough for Ed to hear), "I hope she thinks I am dead. It"s better than have her suffer thinking about me."
Sarah observed Ed from the corner of her eye and noticed with satisfaction the guilt and sadness that he seemed to feel. He played with his fingers, looking at her worriedly wile she continued eating.
It wouldn"t be long now, she thought.
She was right.
A few weeks later, Ed came in with her dinner as usual.
Ever since that time, Sarah was careful to just drop hints and pieces of her mother. She would also be asking him about his mother and gush whenever he praised her. Supported him when he was worried about her.
She noticed that Ed was becoming warmer and warmer towards her, and she milked it for al its worth.
After all, he made her feel special and even better, her food got better as well. All of the extra dishes were things he made himself and sneaked over. Sometimes, it was a bit squished but she didn"t mind it at all.
That night, there was a lot of meat and Sarah was amazed at how he managed to get that in.
"You"re too good to me," Sarah said in a whisper and smiled at him, touching his face. He jerked a bit at that, but smiled goofily after.
Once she was done, he grabbed her hand and whispered urgently, "I"m going to get you out of here."
Sarah looked happy, then scared, "No, no .. you can"t. What about your mother?"
"Mother would understand," Ed said, "She is getting better and … and … if she knew the money for her treatment was at the cost of an innocent life, she would not be happy with me."
"It"s too risky," Sarah said, shaking her head.
"Trust me," Ed said, smiling sweetly.