Oswald thought so himself. But Mr. Red House said he had other uses for it, and would bring it up later.
It took us all that was left of the afternoon to get the things up the stairs into the kitchen. It was hard work, but we know all about the dignity of labour. The general hated the things we had so enterprisingly discovered. I suppose she knew who would have to clean them, but Mrs.
Red House was awfully pleased and said we were dears.
We were not very clean dears by the time our work was done, and when the other gentleman said, "Won"t you all take a dish of tea under my humble roof?" the words "Like this?" were formed by more than one youthful voice.
"Well, if you would be happier in a partially cleansed state?" said Mr.
Red House. And Mrs. Red House, who is my idea of a feudal lady in a castle, said, "Oh, come along, let"s go and partially clean ourselves.
I"m dirtier than anybody, though I haven"t explored a bit. I"ve often noticed that the more you admire things the more they come off on you!"
So we all washed as much as we cared to, and went to tea at the gentleman"s house, which was only a cottage, but very beautiful. He had been a war correspondent, and he knew a great many things, besides having books and books of pictures.
It was a splendid party.
We thanked Mrs. R.H. and everybody when it was time to go, and she kissed the girls and the little boys, and then she put her head on one side and looked at Oswald and said, "I suppose you"re too old?"
Oswald did not like to say he was not. If kissed at all he would prefer it being for some other reason than his being not too old for it. So he did not know what to say. But Noel chipped in with--
"_You"ll_ never be too old for it," to Mrs. Red House--which seemed to Oswald most silly and unmeaning, because she was already much too old to be kissed by people unless she chose to begin it. But every one seemed to think Noel had said something clever. And Oswald felt like a young a.s.s. But Mrs. R.H. looked at him so kindly and held out her hand so queenily that, before he knew he meant to, he had kissed it like you do the Queen"s. Then, of course, Denny and d.i.c.ky went and did the same.
Oswald wishes that the word "kiss" might never be spoken again in this world. Not that he minded kissing Mrs. Red House"s hand in the least, especially as she seemed to think it was nice of him to--but the whole thing is such contemptible piffle.
We were seen home by the gentleman who wasn"t Mr. Red House, and he stood a glorious cab with a white horse who had a rolling eye, from Blackheath Station, and so ended one of the most adventuring times we ever got out of a play-beginning.
The _time_ ended as the author has pointed out, but not its resultingness. Thus we ever find it in life--the most unharmful things, thoroughly approved even by grown-ups, but too often lead to something quite different, and that no one can possibly approve of, not even yourself when you come to think it over afterwards, like Noel and H.O.
had to.
It was but natural that the hearts of the young explorers should have dwelt fondly on everything underground, even drains, which was what made us read a book by Mr. Hugo, all the next day. It is called "The Miserables," in French, and the man in it, who is a splendid hero, though a convict and a robber and various other professions, escapes into a drain with great rats in it, and is miraculously restored to the light of day, unharmed by the kindly rodents. (N.B.--Rodents mean rats.)
When we had finished all the part about drains it was nearly dinner-time, and Noel said quite suddenly in the middle of a bite of mutton--
"The Red House isn"t nearly so red as ours is outside. Why should the cellars be so much cellarier? Shut up H.O.!" For H.O. was trying to speak.
Dora explained to him how we don"t all have exactly the same blessings, but he didn"t seem to see it.
"It doesn"t seem like the way things happen in books," he said, "In Walter Scott it wouldn"t be like that, nor yet in Anthony Hope. I should think the rule would be the redder the cellarier. If I was putting it into poetry I should make our cellars have something much wonderfuller in them than just wooden things. H.O., if you don"t shut up I"ll never let you be in anything again."
"There"s that door you go down steps to," said d.i.c.ky; "we"ve never been in there. If Dora and I weren"t going with Miss Blake to be fitted for boots we might try that."
"That"s just what I was coming to. (Stow it, H.O.!) I felt just like cellars to-day, while you other chaps were washing your hands for din.--and it was very cold; but I made H.O. feel the same, and we went down, and--that door _isn"t shut now_."
The intelligible reader may easily guess that we finished our dinner as quickly as we could, and we put on our outers, sympathising with d.i.c.ky and Dora, who, owing to boots, were out of it, and we went into the garden. There are five steps down to that door. They were red brick when they began, but now they are green with age and mysteriousness and not being walked on. And at the bottom of them the door was, as Noel said, not fastened. We went in.
"It isn"t beery, winey cellars at all," Alice said; "it"s more like a robber"s store-house. Look there."
We had got to the inner cellar, and there were heaps of carrots and other vegetables.
"Halt, my men!" cried Oswald, "advance not an inch further! The bandits may lurk not a yard from you!"
"Suppose they jump out on us?" said H.O.
"They will not rashly leap into the light," said the discerning Oswald.
And he went to fetch a new dark-lantern of his that he had not had any chance of really using before. But some one had taken Oswald"s secret matches, and then the beastly lantern wouldn"t light for ever so long.
But he thought it didn"t matter his being rather a long time gone, because the others could pa.s.s the time in wondering whether anything would jump out on them, and if so, what and when.
So when he got back to the red steps and the open door and flashed his glorious bull"s-eye round it was rather an annoying thing for there not to be a single other eye for it to flash into. Every one had vanished.
"Hallo!" cried Oswald, and if his gallant voice trembled he is not ashamed of it, because he knows about wells in cellars, and, for an instant, even he did not know what had happened.
But an answering hullo came from beyond, and he hastened after the others.
"Look out," said Alice; "don"t tumble over that heap of bones."
Oswald did look out--of course, he would not wish to walk on any one"s bones. But he did not jump back with a scream, whatever Noel may say when he is in a temper.
The heap really did look very like bones, partly covered with earth.
Oswald was glad to learn that they were only parsnips.
"We waited as long as we could," said Alice, "but we thought perhaps you"d been collared for some little thing you"d forgotten all about doing, and wouldn"t be able to come back, but we found Noel had, fortunately, got your matches. I"m so glad you weren"t collared, Oswald dear."
Some boys would have let Noel know about the matches, but Oswald didn"t.
The heaps of carrots and turnips and parsnips and things were not very interesting when you knew that they were not bleeding warriors" or pilgrims" bones, and it was too cold to pretend for long with any comfort to the young Pretenders. So Oswald said--
"Let"s go out on the Heath and play something warm. You can"t warm yourself with matches, even if they"re not your own."
That was all he said. A great hero would not stoop to argue about matches.
And Alice said, "All right," and she and Oswald went out and played pretending golf with some walking-sticks of Father"s. But Noel and H.O.
preferred to sit stuffily over the common-room fire. So that Oswald and Alice, as well as Dora and d.i.c.ky, who were being measured for boots, were entirely out of the rest of what happened, and the author can only imagine the events that now occurred.
When Noel and H.O. had roasted their legs by the fire till they were so hot that their stockings quite hurt them, one of them must have said to the other--I never knew which:
"Let"s go and have another look at that cellar."
The other--whoever it was--foolishly consented. So they went, and they took Oswald"s dark-lantern in his absence and without his leave.
They found a hitherto unnoticed door behind the other one, and Noel says he said, "We"d better not go in." H.O. says he said so too. But any way, they _did_ go in.
They found themselves in a small vaulted place that we found out afterwards had been used for mushrooms. But it was long since any fair bud of a mushroom had blossomed in that dark retreat. The place had been cleaned and new shelves put up, and when Noel and H.O. saw what was on these shelves the author is sure they turned pale, though they say not.
For what they saw was coils, and pots, and wires; and one of them said, in a voice that must have trembled--
"It is dynamite, I am certain of it; what shall we do?"
I am certain the other said, "This is to blow up Father because he took part in the Lewisham Election, and his side won."
The reply no doubt was, "There is no time for delay; we must act. We must cut the fuse--all the fuses; there are dozens."
Oswald thinks it was not half bad business, those two kids--for Noel is little more than one, owing to his poetry and his bronchitis--standing in the abode of dynamite and not screeching, or running off to tell Miss Blake, or the servants, or any one--but just doing _the right thing_ without any fuss.