Translator: Pink Tea
『To Mai, I am on duty today so I will be leaving before you. From: By Brother』
One day, my ordinary days suddenly turned into the darkness, leaving only that simple note behind.
Yes, sudden, like with a turn of a breaker.
『It’s later than I expected… At this rate, I’m going to be late. I’ve just been warned by Brother, I cannot afford to be late… Wait, this might be a good chance to give Brother an excuse to scold me and then as a form of atonement… N-no, it’s pointless, I can’t be late to school on purpose.』
One and a half year ago.
Spring has ended and the rainy season was right around the corner.
Beneath the sky that had a too large part of it covered in thin clouds to be called clear.
That was the day when I was in a hurry after saving the collapsed old lady, the situation that can be called the very cliche of cliches of excuses for lateness.
『Nice, I might somehow make it in time… Kya?!』
Carrying naginata, that I used in the club activities, I was almost half running, and when I was about to finish ascending the stairs an intense blinding light burned my eyes.
Even now I remember that sensation of slipping from the stairs.
With dimming eyesight, I saw a shining magic circle at the spot where I fell from the stairs.
While hearing that people nearby were calling out to me worried, I lost consciousness.
『…Eh?』
And the next time I awakened a lot of things vanished leaving me all by myself.
At first, I had no idea what was going on.
Being told that father and mother have fallen into the sea in an accident and were missing.
Being told that brother was dragged into a ma.s.s disappearance case and also went missing.
All of it seemed fake, like reflections on soap bubbles.
『…It’s a lie.』
I returned to an empty house but I didn’t get the feeling that I actually came home.
I sat in the rocking chair at father’s study and grabbing my knees was swaying back and forth.
After watering with a sprayer pot plants, that mother was raising, I spent the rest of the day staring at them in a daze.
At brother’s room.
I read the manga that brother had read.
I tried clothes that brother wore.
I wrapped myself in the blanket that brother was using.
『…It’s a lie.』
In the empty living room, I re-watched anime that brother liked when he was a kid.
The story about the adventures of a bit absent-minded big brother and his reliable little sister at school in a fantasy world.
It’s was popular when we were little and since I was a sickly child and wasn’t able to go outside a lot, brother would often play make pretend of that anime with me.
While I called him Brother in the role, he looked very happy, so I changed my way of addressing him from 『Bro』to 『Brother』.
『…It’s a lie.』
Because brother said that『When Mai will grow up and get healthy let’s play this outside』
Because when I asked『Will you always play with me if I become like her?』he replied『Yup, we always gonna have big adventures together, as brother and sister.』
I worked hard and trained myself. When I was choosing martial art I decided on naginata since the girl from that show was using it.
I tried so hard at many things in order to become a dependable girl.
I troubled brother by usually saying mean things, and from time to time I also dropped front and was just getting spoiled.
In ways Brother would not notice I was shutting down girls that tried to get close to him.
『…It’s a lie.』
Even when people around called me brocon I replied just like that girl from the anime『Exactly so, because little sister should cherish her brother』and I did not feel embarra.s.sed at all.
Because he also cherished me just as he proclaimed he will.
When I said I want to go shopping he would accompany me.
For birthday and anniversaries, he would give me presents.
If I pouted a little when he got invited for a mixer, he would refuse.
When I did something for Brother he would always smile saying『Thank you』and just like the girl for the anime I would reply『It’s all for my helpless big brother.』.
『…It’s a lie.』
As I was muttering such words, soap bubbles were bursting one after another.
And as they were bursting, my world was getting crushed by something gray that was reflected in them.
And thus my world became riddled with holes.
It turned into a world where one wrong step would send me to the bottom of the pitch dark void.
Bleak room, a room devoid of human’s warmth.
Empty home with everyone important to me disappearing entirely.
As if I returned to the times of my childhood when I was always staying in bed.
It’s hard to breathe, like I am deep, deep inside water depths without a single light in sight.
Scary, frightening, terrifying, dreadful.
That time, I woke up and brother had disappeared somewhere.
I was unbearably scared of staying at home and went outside where I was struck by a car and lost consciousness. When I woke up again around me were father, mother, and brother.
Which was such relief for me that I did not think much of being hit by a car.
But this time I have nowhere I can go to leave this place.
Because even if I were to rise up and tried to go somewhere, there was nothing but a black abyss around me.
The black abyss, falling where would break and crush me.
Thus, I, unable to cry, also became unable to move.
When I was awake I kept watching that anime on endless repeat, when I grew tired I would fall asleep right at the spot as if my batteries had suddenly died.
For the first few days, I had no energy neither to eat or bath nor to change clothes.
After all, I had no one to show that to. Healthy food, daily treatment in bath, an adult-like appearance that brother liked so much. Since brother wasn’t here I saw no reason to bother with any of that.
Before long I would only get up for a toilet and would spend my days simply by sitting in front of the TV, going back and forth between dreams and reality until eventually I lost track of days.
As if trying to dissolve the boundary between dream and reality I began to repeat shallow sleep with incomplete awakening.
『I wonder if worried Brother and others will be beside me the next time I wake up.』
My vision turned dark several times per day and that is what was on my mind every time.
And each time I thought.
——————Brother is not here anyway, just how nice it would be if I just died in my sleep.
Until then it was only the prologue to my despair.
Yet even during that dark time when I thought that I had lost everything I still had something left for me.
『Are you an idiot? What are you even doing?!』
『We were, worried…』
『Ouch, ouchouch, you two, it hurts.』
When I woke up I was in an unknown hospital and the first thing I saw when I got up was my friends.
Daughter of a famous judge, usually strong-willed, with a distinct dislike for shady things, Miyuki.
Daughter of a prosperous family, she had a seemingly bubbly personality but actually was quite stubborn, Satomi.
Miyuki slapped my cheek with full force and Satimo firmly pinched the skin on my upper arm.
Both of them were crying hard and seriously angry.
I didn’t understand what was going on.
I could be only puzzled by their actions.
However, with my body, I could understand the emotions they were throwing at me.
『Whaaa, hyaaa, sto, ooooo, AaAAAAAAAA…!!!』
Like some limiter has broken, tears start overflowing.
We cried and cried and cried until our tears and voices dried up, until we released everything we had on our hearts.
It was already dusk when three of us fell asleep on the hospital’s bed.
As I regained clarity, probably due to intravenous therapy, I heard that since I shut myself inside the house the two started to worry and decided to check on me and by peeking inside through the big window that was opened all the time, they found me, unconscious and weakened.
When ambulance transported me I had mild malnutrition and severe dehydration.
And concerned about me, the two stayed by my side until I regained consciousness.
『First of all, you are the boldest one among us, why are so easily giving up now. If you have time for s.p.a.cing out then you should be working on ways to find your beloved brother. Where is your usual『Thots l.u.s.ting for my Brother should just die』proactivity.』
『Yes, yes. Even we had to face that murderous gaze plenty of times…』
Admonished by those two, after leaving the hospital I began searching for the truth behind the disappearance case, no, for Brother’s whereabouts. I asked around the net to contribute information and also was frequenting police station, inquiring if there were any new developments or clues.
I also began exchanging information with Brother’s friend – Yuuto-san.
A lot of things didn’t go smoothly and the hole-riddled world remained unchanged but because Miyuki and Satomi were with me I was able to walk through such a world.
Hence, I once again made a mistake of forgetting.
Important things can one day suddenly disappear, that’s something I have already experienced once.
The incident happened a few months after we started investigating the disappearance case.
When shocking disappearance case started to become a hot topic for public discussion, a full set of cla.s.sified information on people related to the case was leaked by police along with the fantasy-like video taken during the incident.
Following that, strange rumors began to spread and as public order deteriorated came that day.
On that day I was at a certain shopping mall.
Magic circles that appeared in that fantasy-like video made me remember what I saw around the time just before the incident. Being suspicious as of why a magic circle appeared before me as well even though I was not at school, I was going through the places I visited and the actions I took on that day.
It was shortly before lunch when I heard screams of strangers.
A part of the incident that later will be called as『Ma.s.s slasher incident』turned the peaceful shopping mall into the crucible of turmoil.
A man with a knife suddenly stabbed a high school boy then straddling him proceed to thrust the knife deeply into him over and over and over, and so we were swayed by the crowd of people terrified by that violent crime scene and became separated from each other.
That was the last time I saw Miyuki.
Later I was able to rejoin only with Satomi, no matter how many times we called on Miyuki’s mobile phone she never picked up.
She didn’t return home either, we reported it to the police but because they were busy dealing with cases of random stabbing they did not conduct a proper search for her.
Neither I nor Satomi got any results even though we searched for her all over the place.
And so, half a year later without finding anything.
As usual, we were searching for the clues on Miyuki disappearance.
On that day the world yet again suddenly took something precious from me.
『Satomii―,…Satomi?』
That was the room rented by Satomi to investigate the disappearance.
The room that was rented to avoid complaints from Satomi’s parents who were against being involved with the incident.
It’s not like it didn’t have its own inconveniences, but I wanted to keep things in the house the way they were before, so I also covered part of the cost and we went with this option.
『——————!! ——!!』
『——〜〜, 〜〜—!! ——!!』
I remember how the doork.n.o.b grasped by my hand felt especially cold.
And screams with signs of a struggle coming from the back of the room.
『Ka, Kuhaa…!!!』
『MHAHAHAHA, HIHIHIH! I DID, I DID, I DID IT!!! Now I will be able to leave this s.h.i.tty world! That disckhead chief, colleagues that look down on me and sa.s.sy new hires, they all can eat s.h.i.t! f.u.c.king with me, every single one of them!!! AHAHAHAHHA!!! I will become a knife master in another world!! AHAHAHAHA』
As I barged into the room urged by a bad premonition, what awaited me was a scene that made me dizzy for a moment.
The plump man that I have never seen before was sitting on top of Satomi thrusting into her stomach something that gave off grey shimmer.
『Combo, combo, combo!!!』
『Gih, Guh, …ah…』
The screaming man had pulled several knives from the knife holder hanging on him and was stabbing those into Satomi’s stomach.
When I realized the situation, I, panicking, rushed over to Satomi and shoved away the man with all of my strength.
『UGIIe?!』
『Satomi, Satomi!!!』
No answer could be heard, only knives were tumbling away with a rattling sound.
Like electricity going out, an intense light flickered in her eyes for a moment and then vanished.
Into the dark depths from which it will never return.
『Sato, mi…』
And my world riddled with holes now really turned completely dark.
『Yu, YOUUUUUUU!!! Are you, are you as well will obstruct meeeeee?! Aah, I know, I will kill you as well, doubling my points! I will obtain a cheat!! Dual-wielding knives!』
I heard a sound of something snapping.
『……UUAAaaaAAAaaaaAAaAAAaaaaaaaa?!』
『Huh?』
My head turned white, my vision turned red, and when I realized I already picked up one of the knives from the floor and sliced his neck.
When I returned to senses only two silent corpses remained before me.
I… Became afraid.
So scared it was unbearable, the fact that I killed a person, that the friends that pulled my hand in this hole-riddled world are no more, I didn’t know what to do.
I ran away from there.
Miraculously I was able to get home without being seen by anyone and sank to the floor in the hallway, staring at my right hand that as if it had turned into stone wouldn’t let go of the blood-stained knife.
『Aha, ahahah… Forgive me, Brother, Mai was sullied.』
I can no longer become that girl.
I always worked so, so, so hard for it, but look dirty I became.
Thus I once again returned to the dark depths.
I no longer had a will to go outside nor anyone who will pull me out there.
In the incident where Satomi died, for some reason my traces weren’t found and the case was closed without me coming under suspicion.
But by now even that felt trivial to me.
In the dim world, my days consisted simply of going to school, coming home, eating and sleeping.
Not thinking at all. Hours when I myself was not sure if I am alive.
Thus the circuit breaker of my world had fully tripped.
I don’t care what happens anymore.
But now it was different from that time when I had no one to suffer my rage.
「Transference Applicants?」
In this world still remained accomplices of the person that smashed my already broken world.
Therefore, I accepted Yuto-san’s invitation.
I already had blood on my hands anyway.
Anyone, who would not want to see that has disappeared from my world.
Because I couldn’t forgive them, I stood before the pitch black hole formed in my world, stood and waited for this day that is today.
Until that day, until the day when Brother returned to me.
Brother came back. Brother came back. Brother came back!!!
I was so happy, so happy, so happy.
With just that, light returned to my world, strong enough to illuminate the whole of it.
Just one more time I turned back to the hole in my world.
Clasping hands behind my back I desperately tried to return to what I was before.
But even if I tried not to see the world that was on the verge of falling apart it was of no use after all.
My uneasiness only kept growing, I was afraid that the warmth of the held hands will disappear.
In truth, I was also against Brother’s attempts to regain memories.
But no matter what he will recall, Brother will choose Mai. That’s why I endured for Brother’s and Yuuto-san’s sake.
If I keep acting as I did before there will be no problem.
And then I was about to fail again.
『Transference Applicants』feigning explosion accident tried to take even Brother from me.
So I gave up on waiting until Brother will regain memories. I thought that if Brother will look only at me and will not involve himself with the world outside of the house then everything will be fine.
But as expected, Brother was properly looking at Mai. That’s why he was aware that Mai was sullied.
Embarra.s.sing, embarra.s.sing, embarra.s.sing.
That’s why this time I will have to do my best.
So I won’t have to let go of Brother anymore.
So he won’t have to know about my dirty side.
Without leaving it to Yuuto-san alone, I as well should be erasing the dirt that was stuck to my world.
☆
「Biih, Biihii!!! Sto, StoOp, IT HURTS, HURTS, MAMA!!!」
「Oh, sorry, I s.p.a.ced out a bit.」
Looking down at that filth, I come back from the long reminiscence.
Before me was a man that was a.s.sembling 『Transference Applicants』from the net, planning to raid the school.
The bunch that kidnapped and did atrocious things to Miyuki.
The men that toyed with little sister of Yuuto-san’s significant other.
Thanks to that person I knew in advance what will happen today. Taking them by surprise it was easy to beat those guys.
And just like that day, I was looking down on the men that could only bleed like pigs.
They had both hands and both legs broken with naginata that had a real, sharp blade attached to it, and also had their noses cut off as well as lumps of fat that were unsightly sticking out from their stomachs.
「Thinking about what you did to Miyuki, killing you like this is clearly too merciful. And on top of it, you even tried to lay hands on Brother? I heard all about it.」
「I, I khnow nuthing, I jhast wanhed to beghame a heroooo!!…」
「Please be silent, those who want to rob me of my precious things should all disappear.」
「Gah, Giii…?!」
A powerful swing with the naginata cracks the head of an ugly pig.
（…Aah, I stained my hands again…）
Blood, bone splinters and pieces of brain splatter everywhere.
I should get rid of everything that taints me and return to Brother’s side in the clean state.
「Yet, one more person, there is one more.」
When I turned around, Yuuto-san was sinking a hatchet’s blade deep into another man, who looked like a twisted dead tree, thus killing him.
The only one left is the ringleader, the ugliest and the filthiest pig of them all.
Did it become a good tribute to Miyuki?
I killed the trash that killed Satomi and now also killed the pig that laid hands on Miyuki.
After properly settling everything I have to return to the way I was before.
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.
All, all, all of 『Transference Applicants』should disappear.
Making it like all of this didn’t happen and then fill Brother to the brim with me.
Then, will Brother stay by my side forever…?
Will Brother stay mine and mine alone?
「…Aah, I really hate this. Really, both that world and this world are no different at all. Why when I notice it… It is already too late?」
Therefore, there is no way Brother can be at such a place.
「Bro, Brother…?」
It cannot be, it cannot be, it cannot be.
「No, NONONONONO!!! NOOooOOoOOOOO!!!」
Say, Brother.
Will Mai be able to return to Mai from the times when big brother fawned on her?