Sally wasn"t in the way any longer, and I watched the bus"s rear lights flicker away down the highway.
I was exhausted. I sat down right there, right on the highway, and put my head down in my crossed arms, trying to catch my breath.
I heard a car stop gently at my side. When I looked up, it was Sally. Slowly--lovingly, you might say--her front door opened.
No one had driven Sally for five years--except Gellhorn, of course--and I know how valuable such freedom was to a car. I appreciated the gesture, but I said, "Thanks, Sally, but I"ll take one of the newer cars."
I got up and turned away, but skillfully and neatly as a pirouette, she wheeled before me again. I couldn"t hurt her feelings. I got in. Her front seat had the fine, fresh scent of an automatobile that kept itself spotlessly clean. I lay down across it, thankfully, and with even, silent, and rapid efficiency, my boys and girls brought me home.
Mrs. Hester brought me the copy of the radio transcript the next evening with great excitement.
"It"s Mr. Gellhorn," she said. "The man who came to see you."
"What about him?"
I dreaded her answer.
"They found him dead," she said. "Imagine that. Just lying dead in a ditch.", "It might be a stranger altogether," I mumbled.
"Raymond J. Gellhorn," she said, sharply. "There can"t be two, can there? The description fits, too. Lord, what a way to die! They found tire marks on his arms and body. Imagine! I"m glad it turned out to be a bus; otherwise they might have come poking around here."
"Did it happen near here?" I asked, anxiously.
"No... Near Cooksville. But, goodness, read about it yourself if you-- What happened to Giuseppe?"
I welcomed the diversion. Giuseppe was waiting patiently for me to complete the repaint job. His windshield had been replaced.
After she left, I s.n.a.t.c.hed up the transcript. There was no doubt about it. The doctor reported he had been running and was in a state of totally spent exhaustion. I wondered for how many miles the bus had played with him before the final lunge. The transcript had no notion of anything like that, of course.
They had located the bus and identified it by the tire tracks. The police had it and were trying to trace its ownership.
There was an editorial in the transcript about it. It had been the first traffic fatality in the state for that year and the paper warned strenuously against manual driving after night.
There was no mention of Gellhorn"s three thugs and for that, at least, I was grateful. None of our cars had been seduced by the pleasure of the chase into killing.
That was all. I let the paper drop. Gellhorn had been a criminal. His treatment of the bus had been brutal. There was no question in my mind he deserved death. But still I felt a bit queasy over the manner of it.
A month has pa.s.sed now and I can"t get it out of my mind.
My cars talk to one another. I have no doubt about it anymore. It"s as though they"ve gained confidence; as though they"re not bothering to keep it secret anymore. Their engines rattle and knock continuously.
And they don"t talk among themselves only. They talk to the cars and buses that come into the Farm on business. How long have they been doing that?
They must be understood, too. Gellhorn"s bus understood them, for all it hadn"t been on the grounds more than an hour. I can close my eyes and bring back that dash along the highway, with our cars flanking the bus on either side, clacking their motors at it till it understood, stopped, let me out, and ran off with Gellhorn.
Did my cars tell him to kill Gellhorn? Or was that his idea?
Can cars have such ideas? The motor designers say no. But they mean under ordinary conditions. Have they foreseen everything!"
Cars get ill-used, you know.
Some of them enter the Farm and observe. They get told things. They find out that cars exist whose motors are never stopped, whom no one ever drives, whose every need is supplied.
Then maybe they go out and tell others. Maybe the word is spreading quickly. Maybe they"re going to think that the Farm way should be the way all over the world. They don"t understand. You couldn"t expect them to understand about legacies and the whims of rich men.
There are millions of automatobiles on Earth, tens of millions. If the thought gets rooted in them that they"re slaves; that they should do something about it... If they begin to think the way Gellhorn"s bus did....
Maybe it won"t be till after my time. And then they"ll have to keep a few of us to take care of them, won"t they? They wouldn"t kill us all.
And maybe they would. Maybe they wouldn"t understand about how someone would have to care for them. Maybe they won"t wait.
Every morning I wake up and think, Maybe today....
I don"t get as much pleasure out of my cars as I used to. Lately, I notice that I"m even beginning to avoid Sally.
In late 1949, a new magazine appeared on the newsstands: The Magazine of Fantasy. By the second issue it had expanded its name to The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, and it is universally known by the initials F & SF .
I found F & SF daunting at first. It stressed style, it seemed to me, even more than idea, and I wasn"t at all sure that I could manage style, or that I even knew what style might be. It was only a few months ago, indeed, that a reviewer, referring to me in her review of one of my books, said, "He is no stylist." I wrote at once to ask what a stylist was, but she never answered, so it looks as though I"ll never find out.
As it happened, though, Anthony Boucher, the co-editor of the magazine, wrote me a letter after the appearance of "Hostess"--the first communication on record between us. In "Hostess," I had spoken of "the paler emotional surges of the late thirties," and Tony wrote in mild expostulation, having himself just turned forty at the time. (I had just turned thirty.) He told me that I had a delightful surprise ahead of me, and he was entirely right.
This initiated a pleasant correspondence and I lost some of my fear of F & SF. I thought I would try a story that stressed style but since I didn"t (either then or now) know what style was, or how one went about getting it, I hadn"t the faintest idea whether I had succeeded or not. I guess I did, though, for it was "Flies" I wrote and Mr. Boucher accepted and published it.
I had no way of telling it at the time, but this began what turned out to be the happiest of all my a.s.sociations with science fiction magazines. I have no complaints about Astounding, Galaxy, or any of the rest, heaven knows, but F & SF has become something special to me, and it is only honest of me to say so.
By the way, if anyone thinks I am so arrogant that I can never accept any editorial correction, he is quite wrong. I don"t enjoy editorial correction (no writer does) but I accept it quite often. (This, actually, is intended for my brother, who is a newspaper editor and who seems to think that a11 writers are fiendishly antieditor out of sheer malevolent stupidity.) Anyway, here is my example of how sweetly compliant I can be. When I first wrote "Flies," I named it "King Lear, IV, i, 36-37." Mr. Boucher wrote me, somewhat in horror, and asked if I insisted on the t.i.tle, because n.o.body would look it up and it would be meaningless.
I thought it over and decided he was right and renamed the story "Flies." After you read the story, however, you"re welcome to look it up. You"ll find out what started the train of thought that ended in this particular story.
First appearance--The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, June 1953. Copyright, 1953, by Fantasy House, Inc.
Flies
"Flies!" said Kendell Casey, wearily. He swung his arm. The fly circled, returned and nestled on Casey"s shirt-collar.
From somewhere there sounded the buzzing of a second fly.
Dr. John Polen covered the slight uneasiness of his chin by moving his cigarette quickly to his lips.
He said, "I didn"t expect to meet you, Casey. Or you, Winthrop. Or ought I call you Reverend Winthrop?"
"Ought I call you Professor Polen?" said Winthrop, carefully striking the proper vein of rich-toned friendship.
They were trying to snuggle into the cast-off sh.e.l.l of twenty years back, each of them. Squirming and cramming and not fitting.
d.a.m.n, thought Polen fretfully, why do people attend college reunions?
Casey"s hot blue eyes were still filled with the aimless anger of the college soph.o.m.ore who has discovered intellect, frustration, and the tag-ends of cynical philosophy all at once.
Casey! Bitter man of the campus!
He hadn"t outgrown that. Twenty years later and it was Casey, bitter ex-man of the campus! Polen could see that in the way his finger tips moved aimlessly and in the manner of his spare body.
As for Winthrop? Well, twenty years older, softer, rounder. Skin pinker, eyes milder. Yet no nearer the quiet certainty he would never find. It was all there in the quick smile he never entirely abandoned, as though he feared there would be nothing to take its place, that its absence would turn his face into a smooth and featureless flesh.
Polen was tired of reading the aimless flickering of a muscle"s end; tired of usurping the place of his machines; tired of the too much they told him.
Could they read him as he read them? Could the small restlessness of his own eyes broadcast the fact that he was damp with the disgust that had bred mustily within him?
d.a.m.n, thought Polen, why didn"t I stay away?
They stood there, all three, waiting for one another to say something, to flick something from across the gap and bring it, quivering, into the present.
Polen tried it. He said, "Are you still working in chemistry, Casey?"
"In my own way, yes," said Casey, gruffly. "I"m not the scientist you"re considered to be. I do research on insecticides for E. J. Link at Chatham."
Winthrop said, "Are you really? You said you would work on insecticides. Remember, Polen? And with all that, the flies dare still be after you, Casey?"
Casey said, "Can"t get rid of them. I"m the best proving ground in the labs. No compound we"ve made keeps them away when I"m around. Someone once said it was my odor. I attract them."
Polen remembered the someone who had said that.
Winthrop said, "Or else--"
Polen felt it coming. He tensed.
"Or else," said Winthrop, "it"s the curse, you know." His smile intensified to show that he was joking, that he forgave past grudges.
d.a.m.n, thought Polen, they haven"t even changed the words. And the past came back.
"Flies," said Casey, swinging his arm, and slapping. "Ever see such a thing? Why don"t they light on you two?"
Johnny Polen laughed at him. He laughed often then. "It"s something in your body odor, Casey. You could be a boon to science. Find out the nature of the odorous chemical, concentrate it, mix it with DDT, and you"ve got the best fly-killer in the world."
"A fine situation. What do I smell like? A lady fly in heat? It"s a shame they have to pick on me when the whole d.a.m.ned world"s a dung heap."
Winthrop frowned and said with a faint flavor of rhetoric, "Beauty is not the only thing, Casey, in the eye of the beholder."
Casey did not deign a direct response. He said to Polen, "You know what Winthrop told me yesterday? He said those d.a.m.ned flies were the curse of Beelzebub."
"I was joking," said Winthrop.
"Why Beelzebub?" asked Polen.
"It amounts to a pun," said Winthrop. "The ancient Hebrews used it as one of their many terms of derision for alien G.o.ds. It comes from Ba"al, meaning lord and zevuv, meaning fly. The lord of flies."
Casey said, "Come on, Winthrop, don"t say you don"t believe in Beelzebub."
"I believe in the existence of evil," said Winthrop, stiffly.
"I mean Beelzebub. Alive. Horns. Hooves. A sort of compet.i.tion deity."
"Not at all." Winthrop grew stiffer. "Evil is a short-term affair. In the end it must lose--"
Polen changed the subject with a jar. He said, "I"ll be doing graduate work for Venner, by the way. I talked with him day before yesterday, and he"ll take me on."
"No! That"s wonderful." Winthrop glowed and leaped to the subject-change instantly. He held out a hand with which to pump Polen"s. He was always conscientiously eager to rejoice in another"s good fortune. Casey often pointed that out.
Casey said, "Cybernetics Venner? Well, if you can stand him, I suppose he can stand you."
Winthrop went on. "What did he think of your idea? Did you tell him your idea?"
"What idea?" demanded Casey.
Polen had avoided telling Casey so far. But now Venner had considered it and had pa.s.sed it with a cool, "Interesting!" How could Casey"s dry laughter hurt it now?
Polen said, "It"s nothing much. Essentially, it"s just a notion that emotion is the common bond of life, rather than reason or intellect. It"s practically a truism, I suppose. You can"t tell what a baby thinks or even if it thinks, but it"s perfectly obvious that it can be angry, frightened or contented even when a week old. See?
"Same with animals. You can tell in a second if a dog is happy or if a cat is afraid. The point is that their emotions are the same as those we would have under the same circ.u.mstances."
"So?" said Casey. "Where does it get you?"
"I don"t know yet. Right now, all I can say is that emotions are universals. Now suppose we could properly a.n.a.lyze all the actions of men and certain familiar animals and equate them with the visible emotion. We might find a tight relationship. Emotion A might always involve Motion B. Then we could apply it to animals whose emotions we couldn"t guess at by common sense alone. Like snakes, or lobsters."
"Or flies," said Casey, as he slapped viciously at another and flicked its remains off his wrist in furious triumph.
He went on. "Go ahead, Johnny. I"ll contribute the flies and you study them. We"ll establish a science of flychology and labor to make them happy by removing their neuroses. After all, we want the greatest good of the greatest number, don"t we? And there are more flies than men."
"Oh, well," said Polen.
Casey said, "Say, Polen, did you ever follow up that weird idea of yours? I mean, we all know you"re a shining cybernetic light, but I haven"t been reading your papers. With so many ways of wasting time, something has to be neglected, you know."
"What idea?" asked Polen, woodenly.
"Come on. You know. Emotions of animals and all that sort of guff. Boy, those were the days. I used to know madmen. Now I only come across idiots."
Winthrop said, "That"s right, Polen. I remember it very well. Your first year in graduate school you were working on dogs and rabbits. I believe you even tried some of Casey"s flies."
Polen said, "It came to nothing in itself. It gave rise to certain new principles of computing, however, so it wasn"t a total loss."
Why did they talk about it?
Emotions! What right had anyone to meddle with emotions? Words were invented to conceal emotions. It was the dreadfulness of raw emotion that had made language a basic necessity.