KATIE.
I"ll calm down after I talk to her. She is sixteen, Bill. Sixteen-year-old girls are p.r.o.ne to depressive interludes. Sometimes they even k . . . just give me the d.a.m.n number!
BILL.
617-555-8641.
As she punches the numbers, THE CAMERA SLIDES IN TO CU.
KATIE.
Come on, come on . . . don"t be busy . . . just this once . . .
SOUND: CLICKS. A pause. Then . . . the phone starts ringing.
KATIE (eyes closed) Thank You, G.o.d.
VOICE (filter) Hartshorn Hall, this is Frieda. If you want Christine the s.e.x Queen, she"s still in the shower, Arnie.
KATIE.
Could you call Polly to the phone? Polly Weiderman? This is Kate Weiderman. Her mother.
VOICE (filter) Oh, jeez! Sorry. I thought - hang on, please, Mrs. Weiderman.
SOUND: THE PHONE CLUNKS DOWN.
VOICE (filter, and very faint) Polly? Pol? . . . Phone call! . . . It"s your mother!
INT. A WIDER ANGLE ON THE PHONE NOOK, WITH BILL.
BILL.
Well?
KATIE.
Somebody"s getting her. I hope.
JEFF comes back in with a tape.
JEFF.
I found one, Dad. Dennis hid em. As usual.
BILL.
In a minute, Jeff. Go watch the tube.
JEFF.
But - BILL.
I won"t forget. Now go on.
JEFF goes.
KATIE.
Come on, come on, come on . . .
BILL.
Calm down, Katie.
KATIE (snaps) If you"d heard her, you wouldn"t tell me to calm down! She sounded - POLLY (filter, cheery voice) Hi, mom!
KATIE.
Pol? Honey? Are you all right?
POLLY (happy, bubbling voice) Am I all right? I aced my bio exam, got a B on my French Conversational Essay, and Ronnie Hansen asked me to the Harvest Ball. I"m so all right that if one more good thing happens to me today, I"ll probably blow up like the Hindenburg.
KATIE.
You didn"t just call me up, crying your head off?
We see by KATE"S face that she already knows the answer to this question.
POLLY (filter) Heck no!
KATIE.
I"m glad about your test and your date, honey. I guess it was someone else. I"ll call you back, okay?
POLLY (filter) "Kay. Say hi to Dad!
KATIE.
I will.
INT. THE PHONE NOOK, WIDER.
BILL.
She okay?
KATIE.
Fine. I could have sworn it was Polly, but . . . she"s walking on air.
BILL.
So it was a prank. Or someone who was crying so hard she dialed a wrong number . . . "through a shimmering film of tears," as we veteran hacks like to say.
KATIE.
It was not a prank and it was not a wrong number! It was someone in my family!
BILL.
Honey, you can"t know that.
KATIE.
No? If Jeffie called up, just crying, would you know it was him?
BILL (struck by this) Yeah, maybe. I guess I might.
She"s not listening. She"s punching numbers, fast.
BILL.
Who you calling?
She doesn"t answer him. SOUND: PHONE RINGS TWICE. Then: OLDER FEMALE VOICE (filter) h.e.l.lo?
KATIE.
Mom? Are you . . . (She pauses) Did you call just a few seconds ago?
VOICE (filter) No, dear . . . why?
KATIE.
Oh . . . you know these phones. I was talking to Lois and I lost the other call.
VOICE (filter) Well, it wasn"t me. Kate, I saw the prettiest dress in La Boutique today, and - KATIE.
We"ll talk about it later, Mom, okay?
VOICE (filter) Kate, are you all right?
KATIE.
I have . . . Mom, I think maybe I"ve got diarrhea. I have to go. "Bye.
She hangs up. BILL hangs on until she does, then he bursts into wild donkey-brays of LAUGHTER.
BILL.
Oh boy . . . diarrhea . . . I gotta remember that the next time my agent calls . . . oh Katie, that was so cool - KATIE (almost screaming) This is not funny!
BILL stops laughing.
INT. THE TV ROOM.
JEFF and DENNIS have been tussling. They stop. All three kids look toward the kitchen.
INT. THE PHONE NOOK, WITH BILL AND KATIE.
KATIE.
I tell you it was someone in my family and she sounded - oh, you don"t understand. I knew that voice.
BILL.
But if Polly"s okay and your mom"s okay . . .
KATIE (positive) It"s Dawn.
BILL.
Come on, hon, a minute ago you were sure it was Polly.
KATIE.
It had to be Dawn. I was on the phone with Lois and Mom"s okay so Dawn"s the only other one it could have been. She"s the youngest . . . I could have mistaken her for Polly . . . and she"s out there in that farmhouse alone with the baby!
BILL (STARTLED).
What do you mean, alone?
KATIE.
Jerry"s in Burlington! It"s Dawn! Something"s happened to Dawn!
CONNIE comes into the kitchen, worried.
CONNIE.
Mom? Is Aunt Dawn okay?
BILL.
So far as we know, she"s fine. Take it easy, doll. Bad to buy trouble before you know it"s on sale.
KATIE punches numbers and listens. SOUND: The DAH-DAH-DAH of a busy signal. KATIE hangs up. BILL looks a question at her with raised eyebrows.