Still later in the evening the noise increases, for then the stalls are anxious to clear out their stock at any old price. The wise wife--and Johnnie"s missus is one--waits until this hour before making her large purchases. For now excellent joints and rabbits and other trifles are put up for auction. The laureates are wonderful fellows, many of them, I imagine, decayed music-hall men. A good man in this line makes a very decent thing out of it. The usual remuneration is about eight or ten shillings for the night and whatever beer they want. And if you are shouting for nearly six hours in the heavy-laden air of Salmon Lane, you want plenty of beer and you earn all you get. They have a spontaneous wit about them that only the c.o.c.kney possesses. Try to take a rise out of one of them, and you will be sadly plucked. Theirs is Falstaffian humour--large and cl.u.s.tering: no fine strokes, but huge, rich-coloured sweeps. It is useless to attempt subtleties in the roar of a Sat.u.r.day night. What you have to aim at is the obvious--but with a twist; something that will go home at once; something that can be yelled or, if the spirit moves you, sung. It is, in a word, the humour of the Crowd.
At about eleven o"clock, the laureate, duly refreshed, will mount on the outside counter, where he can easily reach the rows of joints. Around him gathers the crowd of housewives, ready for the auction. He takes the first--a hefty leg of mutton.
"Nah then!" he cries challengingly, "nah then! Just stop shooting yer marth at the _OO_lans for a bit, and look at this "ere bit o" meat.
_Meat_ was what I said," with a withering glance at the rival establishment across the Lane, where another laureate is addressing another crowd. "Meat, mother, meat. If yer don"t want Meat, then it ain"t no use comin" "ere. If yer wants a cut orf an animal what come from Orstralia or Noo Zealand, then it ain"t no use comin" "ere. Over the road"s where they got them. They got joints over there what come from the Anty-Podeys, and they ain"t paid their boat-pa.s.sage yet. No, my gels, this what I got "ere is Meat. None of your carvings orf a cow what looks like a fiddlecase on trestles. You--sir--just cast yer eye over that. Carry that "ome to the missus, and she"ll let yer stay out till a quarter to ten, and yeh"ll never find a b.u.t.ton orf yer weskit long as yeh live. That"s the sort o" meat to turn the kiddies into sojers and sailors. Nah then--what say to six-and-a-arf?"
He fondles the joint much as one would a babe in long clothes, dandling it, patting it, stroking it, exhibiting it, while the price comes steadily down from six-and-a-half to six, five, four-and-a-half, and finally is knocked down at four. Often a prime-looking joint will go as low as twopence a pound, and the smaller stuff is practically given away when half-past twelve is striking.
It is the same with the other shops--greengrocery, fish, and fruit. All is, so far as possible, cleared out before closing time, and only enough is held in reserve to supply that large army of Sunday morning shoppers who are unable to shop on Sat.u.r.day night owing to Bill"s festivities.
That is one worker"s night. But there are others. There are those workers whose nights are not domestic, and who live in the common lodging-houses and shelters which are to be found in every district in London. There are two off Mayfair. There are any number round Belgravia.
Seven Dials, of course, is full of them, for there lodge the Covent Garden porters and other early birds. In these houses you will find members of all-night trades that you have probably never thought of before. I met in a Blackwall Salvation Army Shelter a man who looks out from a high tower, somewhere down the Thames, all night. He starts at ten o"clock at night, and comes off at six, when he goes home to his lodging-house to bed. I have never yet been able to glean from him whose tower it is he looks out from, or what he looks out for. Then there are those exciting people, the scavengers, who clean our streets while we sleep, with hose-pipe and cart-brush; the printers, who run off our newspapers; the sewer-men, who do dirty work underground; railwaymen, night-porters, and gentlemen whose occupation is not mentioned among the discreet.
The Salvation Army Shelters are very popular among the lodging-house patrons, for you get good value there for very little money, and, by paying weekly, instead of nightly, you get reductions and a better-appointed dormitory. I know many street hawkers who have lived for years at one Shelter, and would not think of using a common lodging-house. The most popular quarter for this latter cla.s.s of house is Duval Street, Spitalfields. At one time the reputation of this street was most noisome; indeed, it was officially known as the worst street in London. It holds a record for suicides, and, I imagine, for murders. It was a.s.sociated in some way with that elusive personality, Jack the Ripper; and the shadow of that a.s.sociation has hung over it for ever, blighting it in every possible way. To-day it is but a very narrow, dirty, ill-lit street of common lodging-houses within the meaning of the Act, and, though it is by no means so gay and devilish as it is supposed to have been of old, they do say that the police still descend first on Duval Street in cases of local murder where the culprit has, as the newspapers say, made good his escape. I do not recommend it as a pleasure-jaunt for ladies or for the funny and fastidious folk of Bayswater. They would suffer terribly, I fear. The talk of the people would lash them like whips; the laughter would sear like hot irons. The noises bursting through the gratings from the underground cellars would be like a chastis.e.m.e.nt on the naked flesh, and shame and smarting and fear would grip them. The glances of the men would sting like scorpions.
The glances of the women would bite like fangs. For these reasons, while I do not recommend it, I think a visit would do them good; it would purify their spotty little minds with pity and terror. For I think Duval Street stands easily first as one of the affrighting streets of London. There is not the least danger or disorder; but the tradition has given it an atmosphere of these things. Here are gathered all the most unhappy wrecks of London--victims and apostles of vice and crime. The tramps doss here: men who have walked from the marches of Wales or from the Tweed border, begging their food by the way. Their clothes hang from them. Their flesh is often caked with dirt. They do not smell sweet.
Their manners are crude: I think they must all have studied Guides to Good Society. They spit when and where they will. Some of them writhe in a manner so suggestive as to give you the itch. This writhe is known as the Spitalfields Crawl. There is a story of a constable who was on night duty near the doors of one of the doss establishments, when a local doctor pa.s.sed him. "Say," said the doctor, with a chuckle, "you"re standing rather close, aren"t you? Want to take something away with you?" "Not exactly that, sir; but it"s lonely round here for the night stretch, and, somehow, it"s kind of company if I can feel the little beggars dropping on my helmet."
In this street you are on the very edge of the civilized world. All are outcasts, even among their own kind. All are ready to die, and too sick even to go to the trouble of doing it. They have no hope, and, therefore, they have no fear. They are just down and out. All the ugly misery of all the ages is collected here in essence, and from it the atmosphere is charged; an atmosphere more horrible than any that I know: worse than that of Chinatown, worse than that of Shadwell. These are merely insidious and menacing, but Duval Street is painful.
It was here that I had the nearest approach to an adventure that I have ever had in London. I was sitting in the common kitchen of one of the houses which was conspicuously labelled on its outer white-washed lamp--
GOOD BEDS FOR MEN ONLY FOURPENCE
The notice, however, was but the usual farcical compliance with the law which n.o.body regards and which n.o.body executes. Women were there in plenty--mostly old, unkempt women, wearing but a bodice and skirt and boots. The kitchen was a bare, blue-washed apartment, the floor sanded, with a long wooden table and two or three wooden forms. A generous fire roared up a wide chimney. The air was thick with fumes of pipes that had been replenished with "old soldiers" from West End gutters. Suddenly a girl came in with an old man. I looked at her with some interest because she was young, with copper-coloured hair that strayed about her face with all the profusion of an autumn sunset. She was the only youthful thing in the place, bar myself. I looked at her with rather excited interest because she was very drunk. She called the old man Dad. A few of the men greeted him. One or two nodded to the girl. ""Lo, Luba. Bin on the randy?" The women looked at her, not curiously, or with compa.s.sion or disgust, but cursorily. I fancied, from certain incipient movements, that she was about to be violently bilious; but she wasn"t.
We were sitting in silence when she came in. The silence continued.
n.o.body moved, n.o.body offered to make way. Dad swore at a huge scrofulous tramp, and kneed him a little aside from the fire. The tramp slipped from the edge of the form, but made no rebuke. Dad sat down and left Luba to herself. She swayed perilously for a moment, and then flopped weakly to the form on which I sat. The man I was with leaned across me.
""Ad a rough time in the box, Luba?"
Luba nodded feebly. Her mouth sagged open; her eyes drooped; her head rolled.
"I "eard abaht it," he went on. "Hunky Bottles see a _Star_ wi" your pickcher in. And the old man"s questions. Put you through it, din" "e?"
Again Luba nodded. The next moment she seemed to repent the nod, for she flared up and snapped: "Oh, shut up, for Christ"s sake, cancher? Give any one the fair pip, you do. Ain"t I answered enough damsilly questions from ev"body without you? Oo"s got a f.a.g?"
I had, so I gave her one. She fumbled with it, trying to light it with a match held about three inches from it. Finally, I lit it for her, and she seemed to see me for the first time. She looked at me, at once shiftily and sharply. Her eyes narrowed. Suspicion leaped into her face, and she seemed to shrink into herself like a tortoise into its sh.e.l.l.
"Oo"s "e?" she demanded of my mate.
""E"s all right. Oner the boys. Chuck knows "im."
Then the match burnt her fingers, and she swore weak explosive oaths, filthier than any I have heard from a bookmaker. She lisped, and there was a suggestion in her accent of East Prussia or Western Russia. Her face was permanently reddened by alcohol. The skin was coa.r.s.e, almost scaly, and her whole person sagged abominably. She wore no corsets, but her green frock was of an artful shade to match her bra.s.sy hair. Her hat was new and jaunty and challenging.
"Tell you what," she said, turning from me, and seeming to wake up; "tell you what I"d like to do to that old counsel. I"d like to----" And here she poured forth a string of suggestions so disgusting that I cannot even convey them by euphemism. Her mouth was a sewer. The air about us stunk with her talk. When she had finished, my mate again leaned across me, and asked in a hollow whisper, like the friction of sand-paper--
""Ere--Luba--tell us. Why d"you go back on Billie, eh?"
Luba made an expressive gesture with her fingers in his face, and that was the only answer he received; for she suddenly noticed me again, and, without another word, she dipped her hand to her bosom and pulled out a naked knife of the bowie pattern and twisted it under my nose. With the nervous instinct of the moment, I dodged back; but it followed me.
"No monkey-tricks with me, dear! See? Else you"ll know what. See?"
I was turning to my friend, in an appeal for intervention, when, quite as suddenly as the knife was drawn, it disappeared, for Luba overbalanced because of the gin that was in her, and slipped from the form. Between us, we picked her up, replaced her, and tucked the knife into its sheath. Whereupon she at once got up, and said she was off. For some reason she went through an obscure ritual of solemnly pulling my ear and slapping my face. Then she slithered across the room, fell up the stair into the pa.s.sage, and disappeared into the caverns of gloom beyond the door. When she had gone, some one said, "Daddy--Luba"s gone!"
Daddy leaped from the form, snarled something inarticulate, fell up the same stair, and went babbling and yelling after Luba. Some one came and shoved a fuzzy head through the door, asking lazily, "Wha.s.sup?" "Luba"s gone." "Oh!"
I wondered vaguely if it was a nightmare; if I had gone mad; or if other people had gone mad. I don"t know now what it all meant. I only know that the girl was the Crown"s princ.i.p.al witness in a now notorious murder case. My ear still burns.
A CHARITABLE NIGHT
EAST, WEST, NORTH, SOUTH
_POOR_
_From jail he sought her, and he found A darkened house, a darkened street, A shrilly sky that screamed of sleet, And from The Lane quick gusts of sound._
_He mocked at life that men call sweet.
He went and wiped it out in beer-- "Well, dammit, why should I stick here, By a dark house in a dark street?"_
_For he and his but serve defeat; For kings they gather gems and gold, And life for them, when all is told, Is a dark house in a dark street._
A CHARITABLE NIGHT
EAST, WEST, NORTH, SOUTH
Charity ... the most nauseous of the virtues, the practice of which degrades both giver and receiver. The practice of Charity brings you into the limelight; it elevates you to friendship with the Almighty; you feel that you are a colleague of the Saviour. It springs from Pity, the most unclean of all human emotions. It is not akin to love; it is akin to contempt. To be pitied is to be in the last stages of spiritual degradation. You cannot pity anything on your own level, for Pity implies an a.s.sumption of superiority. You cannot be pitied by your friends and equals, only by your self-elected superiors. Let us see Pity at work in London....
As I lounged some miles east of Aldgate Pump, an old song of love and lovers and human kindliness was softly ringing in my head, and it still haunted me as I slid like a phantom into that low-lit causeway that slinks from a crashing road to the dark wastes of waters beyond. At the far end a brutal black building broke the sky-line. A few windows were thinly lit by gas. I climbed the stone steps, hollowed by many feet, and stood in the entrance-hall.
Then, as it seemed from far away, I heard an insistent murmur, like the breaking of distant surf. I gazed around and speculated. In the bare brick wall was a narrow, high door. With the instinct of the journalist, I opened it. The puzzle was explained. It was the Dining Hall of the Metropolitan Orphanage, and the children were at their seven o"clock supper. From the cathedral-like calm of the vestibule, I pa.s.sed into an atmosphere billowing with the flutter of some five hundred small tongues. Under the pendant circles of gas-jets were ranged twelve long, narrow tables packed with children talking and eating with no sense of any speed-limit. On the one side were boys in cruelly ugly brown suits, and on the other side, little girls from seven to fifteen in frocks of some dark material with a thin froth of lace at neck and wrists and coa.r.s.e, clean pinafores. Each table was attended by a matron, who served out the dry bread and hot milk to the prefects, who carried the basins up and down the tables as deftly as Mr. Paul Cinquevalli. Everywhere was a prospect of raw faces and figures, which Charity had deliberately made as uncomely as possible by clownish garb and simple toilet. The children ate hungrily, and the place was full of the spirit of childhood, an adulterated spirit. The noise leaped and swelled on all sides in an exultant joy of itself, but if here and there a jet of jolly laughter shot from the stream, there were glances from the matrons.
The hall was one of wide s.p.a.ces, pierced at intervals by the mouths of bleak, stark corridors. The air of it was limp and heavy with the smell of food. Polished beams ran below the roof, pretending to uphold it, and ma.s.sive columns of painted stone flung themselves aggressively here and there, and thought they were supporting a small gallery. Outside a full moon shone, but it filtered through the cheap, half-toned gla.s.s of the windows with a quality of pale lilac. Here and there a window of stained gla.s.s stabbed the brick wall with pa.s.sionate colour. The moral atmosphere suggested nut-foods and proteid values.
At half-past seven a sharp bell rang, and with much rumbling and manoeuvring of forms, the children stood stiffly up, faced round, and, as a shabby piano tinkled a melody, they sang grace, somewhat in this fashion:--
To Go doo give sus dailyb read Dour thankful song we raise-se, Sand prayth at he who send susf ood, Dwillf ill lour reart swithp raise, _Zaaaamen_.