Bill smiled, and, rising, began to clear away the dishes. Hazel resisted an impulse to help. She would not work; she would not lift her finger to any task, she reminded herself. He had put her in her present position, and he could wait on her. So she rested an elbow on the table and watched him. In the midst of his work he stopped suddenly.
"There"s oceans of time to do this," he observed. "I"m just a wee bit tired, if anybody should ask you. Let"s camp in the other room. It"s a heap more comfy."
He put more wood on the kitchen fire, and set a pot of water to heat.
Out in the living-room Hazel drew her chair to one side of the hearth.
Bill sprawled on the bearskin robe with another cigarette in his fingers.
"No," he began, after a long silence, "this country doesn"t get on one"s nerves--not if one is a normal human being. You"ll find that.
When I first came up here I thought so, too; it seemed so big and empty and forbidding. But the more I see of it the better it compares with the outer world, where the extremes of luxury and want are always in evidence. It began to seem like home to me when I first looked down into this little basin. I had a partner then. I said to him: "Here"s a dandy, fine place to winter." So we wintered--in a log shack sixteen foot square that Silk and Satin and n.i.g.g.e.r have for a stable now. When summer came my partner wanted to move on, so I stayed. Stayed and began to build for the next winter. And I"ve been working at it ever since, making little things like chairs and tables and shelves, and fixing up game heads whenever I got an extra good one. And maybe two or three times a year I"d go out. Get restless, you know. I"m not really a hermit by nature. Lord, the things I"ve packed in here from the outside! Books--I hired a whole pack train at Ashcroft once to bring in just books; they thought I was crazy, I guess. I"ve quit this place once or twice, but I always come back. It"s got that home feel that I can"t find anywhere else. Only it has always lacked one important home qualification," he finished softly. "Do you ever build air castles?"
"No," Hazel answered untruthfully, uneasy at the trend of his talk.
She was learning that Bill Wagstaff, for all his gentleness and patience with her, was a persistent mortal.
"Well, I do," he continued, unperturbed. "Lots of "em. But mostly around one thing--a woman--a dream woman--because I never saw one that seemed to fit in until I ran across you."
"Mr. Wagstaff," Hazel pleaded, "won"t you please stop talking like that? It isn"t--it isn"t--"
"Isn"t proper, I suppose," Bill supplied dryly. "Now, that"s merely an error, and a fundamental error on your part, little person. Our emotion and instincts are perfectly proper when you get down to fundamentals. You"ve got an artificial standard to judge by, that"s all. And I don"t suppose you have the least idea how many lives are spoiled one way and another by the operation of those same artificial standards in this little old world. Now, I may seem to you a lawless, unprincipled individual indeed, because I"ve acted contrary to your idea of the accepted order of things. But here"s my side of it: I"m in search of happiness. We all are. I have a few ideals--and very few illusions. I don"t quite believe in this thing called love at first sight. That presupposes a volatility of emotion that people of any strength of character arc not likely to indulge in. But--for instance, a man can have a very definite ideal of the kind of woman he would like for a mate, the kind of woman he could be happy with and could make happy. And whenever he finds a woman who corresponds to that ideal he"s apt to make a strenuous attempt to get her. That"s pretty much how I felt about you."
"You had no right to kidnap me," Hazel cried.
"You had no business getting lost and making it possible for me to carry you off," Bill replied. "Isn"t that logic?"
"I"ll never forgive you," Hazel flashed. "It was treacherous and unmanly. There are other ways of winning a woman."
"There wasn"t any other way open to me." Bill grew suddenly moody.
"Not with you in Cariboo Meadows. I"m taboo there. You"d have got a history of me that would have made you cut me dead; you may have had the tale of my misdeeds for all I know. No, it was impossible for me to get acquainted with you in the conventional way. I knew that, and so I didn"t make any effort. Why, I"d have been at your elbow when you left the supper table at Jim Briggs" that night if I hadn"t known how it would be. I went there out of sheer curiosity to take a look at you--maybe out of a spirit of defiance, too, because I knew that I was certainly not welcome even if they were willing to take my money for a meal. And I came away all up in the air. There was something about you--the tone of your voice, the way your proud little head is set on your shoulders, your make-up in general--that sent me away with a large-sized grouch at myself, at Cariboo Meadows, and at you for coming in my way."
"Why?" she asked in wonder.
"Because you"d have believed what they told you, and Cariboo Meadows can"t tell anything about me that isn"t bad," he said quietly. "My record there makes me entirely unfit to a.s.sociate with--that would have been your conclusion. And I wanted to be with you, to talk to you, to take you by storm and make you like me as I felt I could care for you.
You can"t have grown up, little person, without realizing that you do attract men very strongly. All women do, but some far more than others."
"Perhaps," she admitted coldly. "Men have annoyed me with their unwelcome attentions. But none of them ever dared go the length of carrying me away against my will. You can"t explain or excuse that."
"I"m not attempting excuses," Bill made answer. "There are two things I never do--apologize or bully. I dare say that"s one reason the Meadows gives me such a black eye. In the first place, the confounded, ignorant fools did me a very great injustice, and I"ve never taken the trouble to explain to them wherein they were wrong. I came into this country with a partner six years ago--a white man, if ever one lived--about the only real man friend I ever had. He was known to have over three thousand dollars on his person. He took sick and died the second year, at the head of the Peace, in midwinter. I buried him; couldn"t take him out. Somehow the yarn got to going in the Meadows that I"d murdered him for his money. The gossip started there because we had an argument about outfitting while we were there, and roasted each other as only real pals can. So they got it into their heads I killed him, and tried to have the provincial police investigate. It made me hot, and so I wouldn"t explain to anybody the circ.u.mstances, nor what became of Dave"s three thousand, which happened to be five thousand by that time, and which I sent to his mother and sister in New York, as he told me to do when he was dying. When they got to hinting things the next time I hit the Meadows, I started in to clean out the town. I think I whipped about a dozen men that time. And once or twice every season since I"ve been in the habit of dropping in there and raising the very devil out of sheer resentment. It"s a wonder some fellow hasn"t killed me, for it"s a fact that I"ve thrashed every man in the blamed place except Jim Briggs--and some of them two or three times. And I make them line up at the bar and drink at my expense, and all that sort of foolishness.
"That may sound to you like real depravity," he concluded, "but it"s a fact in nature that a man has to blow the steam off his chest about every so often. I have got drunk in Cariboo Meadows, and I have raised all manner of disturbances there, partly out of pure animal spirits, and mostly because I had a grudge against them. Consequently I really have given them reason to look askance at any one--particularly a nice girl from the East--who would have anything to do with me. If they weren"t a good deal afraid of me, and always laying for a chance to do me up, they wouldn"t let me stay in the town overnight. So you can see what a handicap I was under when it came to making your acquaintance and courting you in the orthodox manner."
"You"ve made a great mistake," she said bitterly, "if you think you"ve removed the handicap. I"ve suffered a great deal at the hands of men in the past six months. I"m beginning to believe that all men are brutes at heart."
Roaring Bill sat up and clasped his hands over his knees and stared fixedly into the fire.
"No," he said slowly, "all men are not brutes--any more than all women are angels. I"ll convince you of that."
"Take me home, then," she cried forlornly. "That"s the only way you can convince me or make amends."
"No," Bill murmured, "that isn"t the way. Wait till you know me better. Besides, I couldn"t take you out now if I wanted to without exposing you to greater hardships than you"ll have to endure here. Do you realize that it"s fall, and we"re in the high lat.i.tudes? This snow may not go off at all. Even if it does it will storm again before a week. You couldn"t wallow through snow to your waist in forty-below-zero weather."
"People will pa.s.s here, and I"ll get word out," Hazel a.s.serted desperately.
"What good would that do you? You"ve got too much conventional regard for what you term your reputation to send word to Cariboo Meadows that you"re living back here with Roaring Bill Wagstaff, and won"t some one please come and rescue you." He paused to let that sink in, then continued: "Besides, you won"t see a white face before spring; then only by accident. No one in the North, outside of a few Indians, has ever seen this cabin or knows where it stands."
She sat there, dumb, raging inwardly. For the minute she could have killed Roaring Bill. She who had been so sure in her independence carried, whether or no, into the heart of the wilderness at the whim of a man who stood a self-confessed rowdy, in ill repute among his own kind. There was a slumbering devil in Miss Hazel Weir, and it took little to wake her temper. She looked at Bill Wagstaff, and her breast heaved. He was responsible, and he could sit coolly talking about it.
The resentment that had smoldered against Andrew Bush and Jack Barrow concentrated on Roaring Bill as the arch offender of them all. And lest she yield to a savage impulse to scream at him, she got up and ran into the bedroom, slammed the door shut behind her, and threw herself across the bed to m.u.f.fle the sound of her crying in a pillow.
After a time she lifted her head. Outside, the wind whistled gustily around the cabin corners. In the hushed intervals she heard a steady pad, pad, sounding sometimes close by her door, again faintly at the far end of the room. A beam of light shone through the generous latchstring hole in the door. Stealing softly over, she peeped through this hole. From end to end of the big room and back again Roaring Bill paced slowly, looking straight ahead of him with a fixed, absent stare, his teeth closed on his nether lip. Hazel blinked wonderingly. Many an hour in the last three months she had walked the floor like that, biting her lip in mental agony. And then, while she was looking, Bill abruptly extinguished the candles. In the red gleam from the hearth she saw him go into the kitchen, closing the door softly. After that there was no sound but the swirl of the storm brushing at her window.
CHAPTER XI
WINTER--AND A TRUCE
In line with Roaring Bill"s forecast, the weather cleared for a brief span, and then winter shut down in earnest. Successive falls of snow overlaid the earth with a three-foot covering, loose and feathery in the depths of the forest, piled in hard, undulating windrows in the scattered openings. Daily the cold increased, till a half-inch layer of frost stood on the cabin panes. The cold, intense, unremitting, lorded it over a vast realm of wood and stream; lakes and rivers were locked fast under ice, and through the clear, still nights the aurora flaunted its shimmering banners across the northern sky.
But within the cabin they were snug and warm, Bill"s ax kept the woodpile high. The two fireplaces shone red the twenty-four hours through. Of flour, tea, coffee, sugar, beans, and such stuff as could only be gotten from the outside he had a plentiful supply. Potatoes and certain vegetables that he had grown in a cultivated patch behind the cabin were stored in a deep cellar. He could always sally forth and get meat. And the ice was no bar to fishing, for he would cut a hole, sink a small net, and secure overnight a week"s supply of trout and whitefish. Thus their material wants were provided for.
As time pa.s.sed Hazel gradually shook off a measure of her depression, thrust her uneasiness and resentment into the background. As a matter of fact, she resigned herself to getting through the winter, since that was inevitable. She was out of the world, the only world she knew, and by reason of the distance and the snows there was scant chance of getting back to that world while winter gripped the North. The spring might bring salvation. But spring was far in the future, too far ahead to dwell upon. As much as possible, she refrained from thinking, wisely contenting herself with getting through one day after another.
And in so doing she fell into the way of doing little things about the house, finding speedily that time flew when she busied herself at some task in the intervals of delving in Roaring Bill"s library.
She could cook--and she did. Her first meal came about by grace of Roaring Bill"s absence. He was hunting, and supper time drew nigh.
She grew hungry, and, on the impulse of the moment, turned herself loose in the kitchen--largely in a mood for experiment. She had watched Bill make all manner of things in his Dutch ovens, and observed how he prepared meat over the glowing coals often enough to get the hang of it. Wherefore, her first meal was a success. When Roaring Bill came in, an hour after dark, he found her with cheeks rosy from leaning over the fire, and a better meal than he could prepare all waiting for him. He washed and sat down. Hazel discarded her flour-sack ap.r.o.n and took her place opposite. Bill made no comment until he had finished and lighted a cigarette.
"You"re certainly a jewel, little person," he drawled then. "How many more accomplishments have you got up your sleeve?"
"Do you consider ordinary cooking an accomplishment?" she returned lightly.
"I surely do," he replied, "when I remember what an awful mess I made of it on the start. I certainly did spoil a lot of good grub."
After that they divided the household duties, and Hazel forgot that she had vowed to make Bill Wagstaff wait on her hand and foot as the only penalty she could inflict for his misdeeds. It seemed petty when she considered the matter, and there was nothing petty about Hazel Weir.
If the chance ever offered, she would make him suffer, but in the meantime there was no use in being childish.
She did not once experience the drear loneliness that had sat on her like a dead weight the last month before she turned her back on Granville and its unhappy a.s.sociations. For one thing, Bill Wagstaff kept her intellectually on the jump. He was always precipitating an argument or discussion of some sort, in which she invariably came off second best. His scope of knowledge astonished her, as did his language. Bill mixed slang, the colloquialisms of the frontier, and the terminology of modern scientific thought with quaint impartiality.
There were times when he talked clear over her head. And he was by turns serious and boyish, with always a saving sense of humor. So that she was eternally discovering new sides to him.
The other refuge for her was his store of books. Upon the shelves she found many a treasure-trove--books that she had promised herself to read some day when she could buy them and had leisure. Roaring Bill had collected bits of the world"s best in poetry and fiction; and last, but by no means least, the books that stand for evolution and revolution, philosophy, economics, sociology, and the kindred sciences.
Bill was not orderly. He could put his finger on any book he wanted, but on his shelves like as not she would find a volume of Haeckel and another of Bobbie Burns side by side, or a last year"s novel snuggling up against a treatise on social psychology. She could not understand why a man--a young man--with the intellectual capacity to digest the stuff that Roaring Bill frequently became immersed in should choose to bury himself in the wilderness. And once, in an unguarded moment, she voiced that query. Bill closed a volume of Nietzsche, marking the place with his forefinger, and looked at her thoughtfully over the book.
"Well," he said, "there are one or two good and sufficient reasons, to which you, of course, may not agree. First, though, I"ll venture to a.s.sert that your idea of the nature and purpose of life as we humans know and experience it is rather hazy. Have you ever seriously asked yourself why we exist as ent.i.ties at all? And, seeing that we do find ourselves possessed of this existence, what constrains us to act along certain lines?"
Hazel shook her head. That was an abstraction which she had never considered. She had been too busy living to make a critical a.n.a.lysis of life. She had the average girl"s conception of life, when she thought of it at all, as a state of being born, of growing up, of marrying, of trying to be happy, and ultimately--very remotely--of dying. And she had also the conventional idea that activity in the world, the world as she knew it, the doing of big things in a public or semi-public way, was the proper sphere for people of exceptional ability. But why this should be so, what law, natural or fabricated by man, made it so she had never asked herself. She had found it so, and taken it for granted. Roaring Bill Wagstaff was the first man to cross her path who viewed the struggle for wealth and fame and power as other than inevitable and desirable.
"You see, little person," he went on, "we have some very definite requirements which come of the will to live that dominates all life.
We must eat, we must protect our bodies against the elements, and we need for comfort some sort of shelter. But in securing these essentials to self-preservation where is the difference, except in method, between the banker who manipulates millions and the post-hole digger on the farm? Not a darned bit, in reality. They"re both after exactly the same thing--security against want. If the post-hole digger"s wants are satisfied by two dollars a day he is getting the same result as the banker, whose standard of living crowds his big income. Having secured the essentials, then, what is the next urge of life? Happiness. That, however, brings us to a more abstract question.