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"It"s not that I"m really all that worried," Jules told him, soaping up his arms. "I mean, I didn"t want him in here tonight."

"You think I might be carrying the "dog thing" too far?" Halian asked as he got into the tub with him.

"No, it"s not that, either," Jules admitted. "What you"re doing to him seems to be working. He wasn"t snarling or glaring at me by the time you took him out there."

"Ah. Well, that isn"t entirely because of me," Halian said, leaning back and closing his eyes. "No, I have to correct myself. It ?? because of me, but I"ve been using you to change his thinking. I knew you would feel pity for him, and it throws my cruelty into a contrast in Lucien"s mind. He can tell that your kindness is your own idea, and he wonders why you would feel anything for his suffering."

Jules bowed his head. "Oh, s.h.i.t," he said. "That means he doesn"t think about others at ???."

"Exactly," Halian said on an exhale. "My Christmas delivery of meats and cheeses is tomorrow. We"ll take a few large carts with us into town, and you and Lucien will help me hand out food to the unfortunate people on the west side. This year I"m also giving out grain and blankets. Please attend the business with all the attention you can manage, and see if you can spot any glaring deficiencies. Because, I"m making another delivery the next week."

"I"ll do my best, Hal," Jules swore. "Who"s going with us?"

"Sam, Bill, Meg, Dasch, and Felix. Felix has promised to act as a physician. He has it all planned." Halian took the soap Jules offered, and washed his face quickly. "Meg has decided, very kindly, to donate a few of the new weapons my mother gave her, to those who don"t have them and need to hunt. She"s driving one cart."

"How about Bill?" Jules asked.

Halian smiled tiredly. "Bill is unable to pa.s.s up an opportunity to help anyone. I trust that man to do what is right, without fail."

"I like him a lot," Jules said. "Is Sam driving our cart?"

"No, I"m driving our cart," Halian informed. "Sam is driving Felix"s cart. I"ve seen how the lippy tailor looks at him. They"re a good match."

"Not much gets by you, Hal," Jules said, chuckling. "So, where does Dasch fit in?"

"His family lives in town, and he wants to make sure they get a portion of what we hand out. They live almost entirely off of his salary." Halian reached out and put a hand on Jules"s shoulder. "Pull your legs up."

Jules did, and Hal twirled him around so that his back was to Halian"s front.

"I have a request of you, Jules," Halian said as he wetted Jules"s hair. He put some shampoo on him, and began digging his fingers into Jules"s scalp.

"You know I"d say "yes" to anything you asked, especially while you washed my hair," Jules groaned.

"Really? I"ll keep that in mind," Hal said. "Felix informed me you can knit. What I want is for you to knit as many warm clothes and blankets as you can before the next delivery. A cold snap is coming. I don"t want people to die when I might be able to prevent it."

"Of course, Hal," Jules agreed, sobering. "How about I teach some of those drifting servants we took from St. Veras, and show them how to card, spin, and knit, too?"

"That"s a splendid notion. Force them if they balk." Halian tilted Jules"s head back to rinse. "I"ll learn, too. This time of year, I have little to do outside."

Jules got his head covered in conditioner by Hal"s able hands. He sat there, thinking for a moment, when an idea came to him. "Hal, may I teach Lucien how to fish the way I do?"

"I"ll have to supervise, but yes," Halian said after a moment"s consideration. "You"re going to have to break ice to do it, if you don"t want to go out on a boat, because all the water around the lake edge is frozen to the depth of a foot or so."

"That"s fine, because we"ll need to cut the ice into blocks and line some more carts with it," he said. "I"ll bet we can clean out a big portion of the Asian carp, and feed some poor people at the same time."

Halian pulled in a quick breath. "Jules, that"s ?????????," he praised. "We have to leave before noon, though. I"ll have some people cut ice while you and I, Lucien, Bill and Meg do some fishing. We could have a lot by the time we have to leave." He kissed the back of Jules"s neck. "You are ??????????."

Jules blushed, and smiled. "Guess we can stop the campaign to completely eliminate the carp. Maybe we could put a barrier down, and divide the lake. Keep all of the carp on one side, or most of them, anyway."

"Of course!" Halian put his hands-on Jules"s shoulders and squeezed gently. "There"s a huge pile of rocks and stones we moved out while building cabins. All we have to do is haul them out and start dumping them into the lake. I"ll let it be known that people are free to fish any time that they please, and put people to clearing out an entryway, a road good enough for foot traffic and carts."

"Maybe send someone into town every few weeks, weather permitting, to bring a load of hungry fishermen back and forth?" Jules asked. "From what I"ve seen, those carp breed fast."

"That"s an excellent suggestion. Do you know when they actively breed?" Halian again tilted Jules back to rinse his hair.

"Late spring, early summer, I think," Jules told him. "At least, that"s when they start jumping out of the water. It"s fun to fish for them when they"re doing that. More challenging."

"Moving targets. Yes, my alpha nature approves," Hal said dryly. "It might need said, Jules. Don"t run from me."

"I gotta tell ya, don"t be high-tailing it outta here before you get a chance to see what it"s like, because if Master Novar has to hunt for you, it"s not going to sit right with him," Jules quoted Sam, using a gruff, no nonsense voice. "What Sam said to me my first few minutes onto the estate," he informed, chuckling.

Halian once more put his hands on Jules"s shoulders. "Jules... Do you remember, word for word, what you hear? Always?"

"Yeah," Jules said. "Don"t you?"

He heard Halian swallow. "Yes, but I"m different," he said carefully. "Most people don"t have eidetic memory. It"s ????. When people talk about not remembering something, what does that make you think?"

"That they weren"t paying attention," Jules answered. "Sometimes, too, when people are scared, they can"t focus enough to know what"s going on."

"That"s true," Halian said. "I can"t understand why no one has noticed how incredibly ????????, how viable a human being you are."
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Jules leaned back on Halian, and closed his eyes. "Hal. I"ve already said more to you than I ever have to anyone else in my entire life," he confessed. "I didn"t want to talk to alpha stink-bags. And, the first few years I was in Fong"s home, I spoke barely at all. Long enough that the kids kept getting younger with me getting older, and I had little to say to them other than "it"s okay" and "don"t cry" or "I"ll watch over you while you sleep, I promise"."

Hal"s breathing hitched. He wound his arms around Jules"s chest, drawing him in as close as possible, squeezing Jules into a hug of support that acknowledged Jules"s entire, rotten existence prior to Tales-Vier. "And this," he whispered, "is why the light of your soul shines brighter than the sun. You know what suffering is. Suffering is a crucible. You come out as a strong, honed sword, or you melt and fall apart."

Jules sagged against Halian, his eyes shutting. "Melting isn"t an option," he said. "Falling apart is okay. Sometimes, pieces have to get put together differently."

"Yes," Halian agreed, pressing a light and reverent kiss to Jules"s head. "Yes, it always helps if some pieces don"t go back into the puzzle the same way."