"A very interesting report indeed, Kenneth," Burris went on, positively bursting with good-fellowship.
"Thank you, sir," Malone said dully.
Burris beamed a little more. "You"ve done a fine job," he said, "a really fine job. Hardly on the job any time at all, and here you"ve managed to get all three of the culprits responsible."
"Now, wait a minute," Malone said in sudden panic. "That isn"t what I said."
"No?" Burris said, looking a little surprised.
"Not at all," Malone said. "I don"t think those three spies have anything to do with this at all. Not a thing."
There was a brief silence, during which Burris" surprise seemed to expand like a gas and fill the room. "But they"ve confessed," he said at last. "Their job was to try and get information, and also to disrupt our own work here."
"I know all that," Malone said. "But--"
Burris held up a pink, patient hand. Malone stared at it, fascinated.
It had five pink, patient fingers on it. "Malone," Burris said slowly, "just what"s bothering you? Don"t you think those men _are_ spies? Is that it?"
"Spies?" Malone said, slightly confused.
"You know," Burris said. "The men you arrested, Malone. The men you wrote this report about."
Malone blinked and focused on the hand again. It still had five fingers. "Sure they are," he said. "They"re spies, all right. And they"re caught, and that"s that. Except I don"t think they"re causing all the confusion around here."
"Well, of course they"re not," Burris said, the beam of kindliness coming back to his face. "Not any more. You caught them."
"I mean," Malone said desperately, "they never were. Even before I caught them."
"Then why," Burris said with great patience, "did you arrest them?"
"Because they"re spies," Malone said. "Besides, I didn"t."
"Didn"t what?" Burris said, looking confused. He seemed to realize he was still holding up his hand, and dropped it to the desk. Malone felt sad as he watched it go. Now he had nothing to concentrate on except the conversation, and he didn"t even want to think about what was happening to that.
"Didn"t arrest them," he said. "Tom Boyd did."
"Acting," Burris pointed out gently, "under your orders, Kenneth."
It was the second time Burris had called him Kenneth, Malone realized.
It started a small warning bell in the back of his mind. When Burris called him by his first name, Burris was feeling paternal and kindly.
And that, Malone thought determinedly, boded Kenneth J. Malone very little good indeed.
"He was under my orders to arrest them because they were spies," he said at last. He wondered if the sentence made any real sense, but shrugged his shoulders and plunged on. "But they"re not the real spies," he said. "Not the ones everybody"s been looking for."
"Kenneth," Burris said, his voice positively dripping with what Malone thought of as the heavy, Grade A, Government-inspected cream of human kindness, "all the confusion with the computer-secretaries has stopped. Everything is running fine in that department."
"But--" Malone began.
"The technicians," Burris said, hypnotized by this poem of beauty, "aren"t making any more mistakes. The information is flowing through beautifully. It"s a pleasure to see their reports. Believe me, Kenneth--"
"Call me Chief," Malone said wearily.
Burris blinked. "What?" he said. "Oh. Ha. Indeed. Very well, then: Malone, what more proof do you want?"
"Is that proof?" Malone said. "The spies didn"t even confess to that.
They--"
"Of course they didn"t, Malone," Burris said.
"Of course?" Malone said weakly.
"Look at their confessions," Burris said. "Just look at them, in black and white." He reached for a sheaf of papers and pushed them across the desk. Malone looked at them. They were indeed, he told himself, in black and white. There was no arguing with that. None at all.
"Well?" Burris said after a second.
"I don"t see anything about computer-secretaries," Malone said.
"The Russians," Burris began slowly, "are not stupid, Malone. You believe that, don"t you?"
"Of course I believe it," Malone said. "Otherwise we wouldn"t need an FBI."
Burris frowned. "There are still domestic cases," he said. "Like juvenile delinquents stealing cars inter-state, for instance. If you remember." He paused, then went on: "But the fact remains: Russians are not stupid. Not by a long shot."
"All right," Malone said agreeably.
"Do you really think, then," Burris said instantly, "that a spy ring could be as utterly inefficient as the one described in those confessions?"
"Lots of people are inefficient," Malone said.
"Not spies," Burris said with decision. "Do you really believe that the Russians would send over a bunch of operatives as clodheaded as these are pretending to be?"
"People make mistakes," Malone said weakly.
"Russian spies," Burris said, "do not make mistakes. Or, anyhow, we can"t depend on it. We have to depend on the fact that they"re operating at peak efficiency, Malone. Peak."
Malone nearly asked: "Where?" but controlled himself at the last minute. Instead, he said: "But the confessions are right there. And, according to the confessions--"
"Do you really believe," Burris said, "that a trio of Soviet agents would confess everything as easily as all that if they didn"t intend to get something out of it? Such as, for instance, covering up their methods of doing damage? And do you really believe--"
Malone began to feel as if he were involved in the Athanasian Creed.
"I don"t think the spies are the real spies," he said stubbornly. "I mean the spies we"re all looking for."
"Do you mean to stand there and tell me," Burris went on inexorably, "that you take the word of spies when they tell you about their own activities?"
"Their confessions--"