He shook his head violently; but he could not speak. As for me, all my resolution rose up as never before.
I gripped him tighter.
"I ask but five minutes," I said. "But that I must have!"
"I--I cannot," said he, very low.
I let go of him, and went straight towards the steps that led up into His Majesty"s room. As I reached the foot of them, he had seized my arm from behind.
"Where are you going?" he whispered sharply. "That is the way to the King"s room."
I turned and looked at him.
"Yes," I said very slowly, "I know that."
"Well--well, you cannot," he stammered.
"Then you must take me," I said.
He still stared at me as if either he or I were mad. Then, of a sudden his face changed; and he nodded. I could see how distraught he was, and unsettled.
"I will take you," he whispered, "I will take you, Mr. Mallock. For G.o.d"s sake, Mr. Mallock--"
He went up the steps before me, in his soft shoes; and I went after, as quietly as I could. As he put his hand on the handle he turned again.
"For Christ"s sake!" he whispered in a terrible soft voice. "For Christ"s sake! It must be but five minutes. I am sent to fetch the Bishops, Mr. Mallock."
He opened the door a little, and peered in. I could see nothing, so dark was the chamber within--but the candles at the further end and a few faces far away. A great curtain, as a wall, shut off all view to my left.
"Quick, Mr. Mallock," he whispered, turning back to me. "This side of the bed is clear. Go in quick; he is turned on this side. I will fetch you out this way again."
He was his own man again, swift and prompt and steady. As for me, the beating of my heart made me near sick. Then I felt myself pushed within the chamber; and heard the door close softly behind me.
At first I could see nothing on this side, as I had been staring over the candle just now, except a group of persons at the further end of the great room, and among them the white of a Bishop"s rochet; and the candlelight and firelight on the roof. The clocks were all chiming four as I came in, and drowned, I suppose, the sounds of my coming.
Then, almost immediately I saw that the curtains were drawn back on this side of the great bed that stood in this end of the room, and that they were partly drawn forward on the other side, so as to shroud from the candlelight him who lay within them, and beneath the Royal Arms of England emblazoned on the state.
And then I saw him.
He was lying over on this side of the bed, propped on high pillows, but leaning all over, and breathing loudly. His left, arm was flung over the coverlet; and his fingers contracted and opened and contracted again. I went forward swiftly and noiselessly, threw myself on my knees, laid my hand softly beneath his, and kissed it.
"Eh? eh?" murmured the heavy voice. "Who is it?"
I saw the curtain on the other side pulled a little, and the face of Sir Charles Scarburgh all in shadow peer in: it looked very lean and sharp and high-browed. The King flapped his hand in a gesture of dismissal, and the face vanished again.
"Sir," whispered I, very earnestly, yet so low that I think none but he could have heard me. "Sir: it is Roger Mallock--"
"Mallock," repeated the voice; yet so low that it could not have been understood by any but me. His face was very near to me; and it was shockingly lined and patched, and the eyes terribly hollow and languid: but there was intelligence in them.
"Sir," said I, "you spoke to me once of an apostleship."
"So I did," murmured the voice. "So I--"
"Sir: I am come to fulfill it. It is not too late. Sir; the Bishops are sent for. Have nothing to say to them! Sir, let me get you a true priest--For Christ"s sake!"
The cold fingers that I yet held, twitched and pressed on mine. I was sure that he understood.
He drew a long breath.
"And what of poor little Ken?" he murmured. "Poor little Ken: he will break his heart--if he may not say his prayers."
"Let him say what he will, Sir. But no sacrament! Let me send for a priest!"
There was a long silence. He sighed once or twice. His fingers all the while twitched in mine, pressing on them, and opening again. Ah! how I prayed in my heart; to Mary conceived without sin to pray for this poor soul that had such a load on him. The minutes were pa.s.sing. I thought, maybe, he was unconscious again. And the Bishops, if they were in the Palace, might be here at any instant, and all undone. I am not ashamed to say that I entreated even my own dear love to pray for us. She had laid down her life in his service and mine. Might it not be, thought I, even in this agony, that by G.o.d"s permission, she were near to help me?
He stirred again at last.
"Going to be a monk," said he, "going to be a monk, Roger Mallock. Pray for me, Roger Mallock, when you be a monk."
"Sir--"
He went on as if he had not heard me.
"Yes," murmured he. "A very good idea. But you will never do it. Go to Fubbs, Roger Mallock. Fubbs will do it."
"For a priest, Sir?" whispered I, scarcely able to believe that he meant it.
"Yes," he murmured again, "for a priest. Yes: for G.o.d"s sake. Fubbs will do it. Fubbs is always--"
His voice trailed off into silence once more; and his fingers relaxed.
At the same instant I heard the door open softly behind, and, turning, I saw the page"s face again, lean and anxious, peering in at me. Then his finger appeared in the line of light, beckoning.
I kissed the loose cold fingers once again; rose up and went out on tip-toe.
CHAPTER X
Then began for me the most amazing adventure of all. My adventures had indeed been very surprising--some of them; and my last I had thought to be the greatest of all, and the most heart-breaking, in the yard of the Theatre Royal. I had thought that that had drained the last energy from me and that I had no desires left except of the peace of the cloister and death itself. Yet after my words with the King and his to me, there awakened that in me which I had thought already dead--a fierce overmastering ambition to accomplish one more task that was the greatest of them all and to get salvation to the man who had again and again flouted and neglected me, whom yet I loved as I had never yet loved any man. As I went to and fro, as I shall now relate, until I saw him again, there went with me the vision of him and of his fallen death-stricken face there in the shadow of the great bed; and there went with me too, I think, the eager presence of my own love, near as warm as in life.
"What shall we do next? What shall we do next, Dolly?" I caught myself murmuring more than once as I ran here and there; and I had almost sworn that she whispered back to me, and that her breath was in my hair.