Thursday continued ….James could not, on hearing Alecia"s sobs, help to turn back to her. He knew with how he felt about her that he could leave her there on the couch sobbing. Ne knelt on the ground in front of Alecia, taking her hands in his.
In a quiet voice, he said "Alecia, please do not cry…"
That caused the sobs to deepen, and between the sobs she said "You are just like everyone else, since I was attacked. You are rejecting me, want to control me and have nothing to do with me."
With those words, James realised that his actions, while wanting to protect her from things escalating out of control caused this reaction. That was the last thing he wanted. All he wanted for her was to be happy and safe. His wants and desires did not matter.
He reached up and gently touched her face "Alecia, I am five going towards six years older than you. You deserve the world, not into a relations.h.i.+p with the first person who shows you any sign of treating you like a normal person, rather than a victim."
Alecia simply sat there trying to take in what he was saying. Was she hearing him, right? She knew that is she did not ask she would regret it "What are you saying?"
James paused. Lying to Alecia, would only make the situation worse, but the question to him was how much of the the truth to tell her. Taking a breath, he started "Alecia ever since you were attacked, it has been as if everyone around you has been in control of your world. Those b*stards started and took away the most basic of choices as a woman you can make. It has continued with your family, the household staff, and I would guess your friends and cla.s.smates."
"They have changed how they treat you and treat you as this person to be protected, pitied, and someone not fit to be in a relations.h.i.+p with. To them you are this gla.s.s doll that has to be sheltered, and their role in your life dictates how they have done that."
"You deserve to make choices for yourself, rather than me making them for you. You need freedom to be who you are and to fly and reach your potential. I am the person who is going to give that to you, as to me you deserve that and more. What I might want or desire has to have no role. If I took that control that you have lacked for months from you I am no better than anyone else."
Alecia paused, taking in what James was saying. Watching his face as he spoke, she could see some of the same emotions that she often observed between her father and Amanda on his face, pure devotion, and a desire that the other was the most important thing in the world. She never expected anyone would look at her like that, given what happened. It then clicked for her that he would sacrifice for her. How could someone feel that for her, a girl about to turn seventeen, who has been to h.e.l.l and back.
As he finished, she saw how he was extinguis.h.i.+ng hopes from his eyes, because he wanted to give her the choice. That gave her courage to speak "Please be as honest with me as you have. If none of those things were an issue, would you want me?"
Alecia knew that the question was bold, but there was no way that she was going to Australia without asking it. She needed to know the answer, as if it was a no, she would remain here, as in that moment she realised that her future was with James.
"Alecia, you know that that question puts me in an impossible position? Your father is trusting me so much …"
"Please James, an honest answer. That is all I ask."
James put his head down, knowing that an honest answer would break his heart, as there was no way that it could happen, but in that moment, he could not deny her the truth. James lifted his head, and looked at her with pa.s.sion in his eyes "I would …"
As he paused Alecia realised that he was struggling to breach the trust that her father and his sister were placing in him for her. She dropped down beside him, taking his head in her hands so he could not look away. "James, are the words you trying to say, but not willing to are that you love me? I love you. It seems strange, but a look was all it took, and I knew."