Vyvyan wore a smile as she stroked my head and asked, "Son, Mommy was very happy to receive your letter, but Mommy wants to know what you called Mommy here for. I believe that you didn"t want to just simply invite Mommy to a banquet, right?"
I, did, indeed have something very important to say, and there"s no way that Mom doesn"t know about it. However, Mom might not be aware that I already know about it. I believe that my two moms will still stubbornly carry out their plan even if somebody tried to advise otherwise. Vyvyan will never back down when it comes to me, while Elizabeth started a war for me a decade ago, so she can do it again now. Consequently, if I don"t step up and let the war break out, then the disaster from a decade ago will repeat itself.
"Ten years ago, Troy was just eight and didn"t understand things, but ten years later, I"m Troy. I understand war, so I will not let my moms wage another war for this sort of reason."
"I believe that Vyvyan took the initiative to make me the Elven King so that I can return to the elven side in peace. The incident with Alice caused Vyvyan to lose all trust in Elizabeth, as well as humanity. Perhaps the continuous attempts on my life have deterred her from wanting to let me to continue living in humanity"s lands. Vyvyan wanted for me to return to the elves and live in peace from the beginning. I won"t be questioned by others in the elven lands thanks to my mana purity and lineage. Moreover, I was guaranteed to be safe with Vyvyan, who"s a demi-G.o.d, there to protect me."
"Vyvyan must"ve perceived everything I did as a child"s wilful desire to chase a dream, I guess. However, I ended up tripping and getting hurt; she, therefore, must think that the childish games should end now similarly to when it"s time for a child that"s played enough to come home. That"s why she wants to use the Imperial Capital and Elven King throne to chain me so that I"d stay there where it"s safe and not leave again."
"But I didn"t do what I did for the throne in either nation. I just want to prove myself for Mera and Luna. I"m not playing nor am I chasing something deliberately because I"m wilful. I just want to achieve salvation for myself so that I can face their graves."
"I can"t return. If I return, I"ll never get to leave again. Although I can face Mera, I can"t face Luna. I"m certain Luna didn"t want to see me be a man that fled from bloodshed and wounds. She always accompanied me on my long journeys without complaints or regrets. If I run away now, wouldn"t I have let her company go to waste and let her down?"
"Everybody dies, but not everybody lived. I should have a longer lifespan than that of a human"s. Therefore, I should live a life that"s different. Even if my life isn"t longer and. in fact, shorter, I can still leave my mark in the short time after transmigrating."
"Mom, I am, indeed, looking for you for something, but it"s pointless to speak to you about it alone, for this requires the two involved parties to agree …"
"Impossible."
Vyvyan resolutely cut me off before I could even finish. She released me, and then looked into my eyes with anger, "I know what you want to say, but Mommy won"t back down on this matter. Mommy isn"t just trying to make you succeed the throne. If Mommy wanted to keep you by Mommy"s side all the time, Mommy would"ve done that already. It"s just that Mommy has no faith for humanity. Elizabeth kept claiming she"d protect you, but whenever was she able to? You got hurt over and over in humanity"s lands. You got another scar on your hand before the one on your chest disappeared. Had Mommy been just a moment late, would you still be here? Well, you do never consider Mommy when you dive into danger… You never consider how scared and hurt Mommy was…"
Vyvyan"s sobs crept into her voice as she finished up. I didn"t say anything. I just tightly held Mom"s hands. I was aware that I made Mommy Vyvyan worry more than just once or twice. Mommy Vyvyan must be tired of being worried over and over. Her persistence to have me return to the elven lands is just the way any mother would react. Mothers want to keep their children by their side so that they can keep their children away from danger.
I do remember the saying "Our bodies—to every hair and bit of skin—are received by us from our parents, and we must not presume to injure or wound them." The saying goes as so since your parents would be very worried if you got hurt, which is not how you show filial piety. A little extreme it may be, but it describes Vyvyan perfectly. I promised Mommy Vyvyan over and over that I wouldn"t let myself be in danger, yet I let myself get covered in wounds every single time.
"I want to realise my dream, but I have never considered how sad Mommy Vyvyan would be."
"Sorry mom…"
"Mommy doesn"t want your apology!!"
Vyvyan grabbed my hand. She used so much strength that I could virtually see her white joints on my fingers. Her voice and body were both shaky. Anxiety and her pleas surfaced in her blue eyes. She looked at me and while trembling, sobbed, "Mommy wants you to come home. You"ve apologised too many times already. Mommy believed you every time. Mommy went soft and let you go every time, but you"d return to Mommy covered in wounds every time, nonetheless. Mommy is tired. Mommy is honestly tired. Son, if you are truly apologetic, if you truly don"t want Mommy"s heart to ache so much, come home with Mommy, okay? Mommy doesn"t want anything. Mommy just wants you to come home…"
I didn"t dare to look at Mom"s eyes. I truly didn"t dare to.
"I believe that if I were to look at Mom"s eyes, I would definitely agree to her request. I can"t reveal my stance right now. Actually, I can"t agree to return. If I agree now, Mom will take me home for sure."
"But my heart is, in all honesty, throbbing. I"m truly sorry to Mommy Vyvyan. Mommy Vyvyan may be a little strange, but she truly only ever thought of me, alone. Mommy Elizabeth thinks about others and her empire, but Mommy Vyvyan only ever thought about me, alone. Why did I scare her over and over again?"
"My life isn"t mine alone. My life is connected to Mommy Vyvyan"s. I"m Mommy Vyvyan"s whole world. If something happens to me, I can only presume that Mommy Vyvyan"s entire world would collapse."
"But still, I can"t just leave this way. I"m very sorry to Mommy Vyvyan; nevertheless, she"s not the only one in my world. My world also comprises of Nier, Lucia, Luna and Freya. The world I perceive isn"t just the area around the forest, but a wider and further unknown land."
"If Vyvyan hypothetically wasn"t my mom, but my lover, I might give up everything for love."
"Sorry… Mom…"
"Mommy doesn"t want your apology!!!!!"
"But all I can do right now is give you my apology, Mom!!"
I pressed my arms firmly on Vyvyan"s shoulders and looked at her teary blues eyes that were akin to the sea. In a loud voice and sobbing tone, I said, "Mom… I can"t promise you anything right now… I can only give you an apology… Please… I beg you… let me apologise… I promise that once I finish what I want to finish, I will definitely stay by your side. I promise. You have lots of time, so please… give me a bit more time…"
Vyvyan froze up as she looked at my face. It was the first time I saw her helpless gaze. I didn"t know she had such a pitiful gaze. Mommy Vyvyan quivered as she lowered her head. She grabbed my arm tightly and wept. She thumped her head on my chest hard as though she was resisting the urge to give me a thras.h.i.+ng. I kept silent. I tightly hugged Mommy Vyvyan in order to let her feel my strength and warmth…
"Please… Please… Son… My brother has made me wait for so long… Don"t make me wait for so long, too… Mommy does have lots of time, yes… but Mommy doesn"t want… to wait all alone…"
Despite the timing, despite how sad she was and despite the countless number of times she prepared herself mentally to persist with her plan, she still ended up giving in when she was in front of me…
"I truly… truly… am so apologetic to Mommy Vyvyan…"
"If I have a chance and if I still have time, then I will definitely return to Mommy Vyvyan"s side and be her son forever. I will make up the time she spent waiting for me. I will accompany her through the years and use the remainder of my life to erase my wilful agendas that I forced on her…"
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