Publishedat 1st of June 2019 09:21:01 AMChapter 24
I tossed bits of wood into the fire . I watched the fire gently flicker while I was lying down to the side . Some say we think about all sorts of things at night, because it’s incomparably lonely at night . You don’t have to speak or do anything and can’t sleep, so you can’t help but begin to recall all sorts of memories . My memories were heartbreaking . The nice memories always replayed in my mind . There was always a voice in my mind begging me to return . It wanted me to go to my mom to tell her that I didn’t want to die . She would tell me I could live as long as I had the mana mark . However, I told myself I couldn’t do that . I would truly become a parasite if I did that .
I suddenly heard something . I raised my head to look in the direction of the sound . There shouldn’t be anything dangerous to me in the forest . The shrubs rustled . I looked in the direction of the shrubs and picked up the long sword by the side . Although an animal shouldn’t be dangerous, it’d be dangerous if it was an elf or a human .
A long ear appeared from the shrubs . It was the huge type of rabbit from this world . Perhaps it came out for a midnight snack, as it couldn’t sleep at night; it was still chewing on gra.s.s in its mouth . It was displeased with me . I had the impression it was complaining about me lighting up a fire .
My gaze stopped at the rabbit’s neck for some reason . I could seemingly see the throbbing veins underneath its white fur . I could seemingly see the blood inside the veins . I had an urge to kill . I wanted to kill it . I thought, “It shouldn’t be a problem for me to leap over and suck its blood . It’s just a rabbit, after all . ”
Supposedly noticing danger, the rabbit slowly retreated two steps and vanished into the darkness . I suddenly came to my senses after it vanished from sight . I blankly looked in the direction that the rabbit vanished . I had no idea what I just thought . I silently said in my mind, “I didn’t intend to bother with the rabbit, so why did I suddenly have an urge to suck its blood? It must be due to me sucking Mommy Vyvyan’s blood every night…”
I didn’t have anyone to suck blood from . I, therefore, directed the thirst to the rabbit . What I really wanted wasn’t its blood, but the mana in its blood . I suddenly remembered the deer Mom sucked dry . Perhaps the same thing happened then . I could see myself gradually developing into a full-fledged dark elf .
What made the Galadriel Tribe stronger than other dark elven tribes was the fact they could suppress their urge to suck mana . I couldn’t be any more ordinary as an elf in my state, so I craved blood, subsequently craving the mana of others .
I didn’t want to become a parasite elf and definitely didn’t want to rely on sucking blood to live . I couldn’t accept that . That was no elf; that would a crazed, murderous demon . That was a vampire . That wasn’t the state I wanted to be in . If others had to die for me to live, I’d rather die . I was a human and an elf, not a wild beast . I didn’t need tributes or to be fed . I had an urge to suck blood just seeing a rabbit . Hence the question, would I be able to hold myself back when I see other elves, my wife, or my children in the future? At that point, choosing death was the best option for others, my family and myself .
I shook my head to desperately try to throw out the thought of living on that I came to mind . I didn’t want to hear those thoughts again . I had to protect my family . I couldn’t become a dark elf who killed to survive . Mom already changed . I couldn’t change . Mom should’ve been able to control herself . If I grew addicted to blood, who’d be able to save me?
The plan was to go to Duargana tomorrow and then Hilles City . Mera’s grave was in Duargana, where she died . I wanted to pay her a visit . I ran the sword through her with my own hands . The sensation of the sword running through her body still lingered in my mind . I can still recall the feeling of her hot blood spilling over my body . I admired Mommy Elizabeth, for she often killed and killed so many with a sword, yet she wasn’t disgusted or felt any pain as a consequence .
My story in this world started when I met Mommy Vyvyan in the forest, and then returned to Duargana . I saw my first home there then left the forest as a confused and eager man . I went to the glorious and dazzling human city, Hilles City . I left a mark at the cities . I met my Lucia at Duargana and quarrelled with Nier at Hilles City . At the time, I never imagined this day would ever come . I wondered if I’d be able to see my former self .
I forced myself to shut my eyes and wrapped myself up with the blank . My heart beat with excitement when I saw a living creature . It was as though it was asking me why I didn’t suck blood or, at least, kill the rabbit . No, I didn’t think it was my conscience, but purely because I could’ve taken it .
Duargana was as calm as always . The people of Duaragana were completely oblivious as to what almost happened to them . Fortunately, it never happened . I didn’t ride the White Deer King for the trip; the guards recognised me, nonetheless . The elven imperial capital was bustling as always, though . They were much quieter compared to humanity, however .
When I reached the border of the city door, the elven imperial guard expressed puzzlement: “Ah, Your Highness, why have you come back? Where is your White Deer King?”
I lingered for a moment out of confusion: “I didn’t leave Mom yesterday . How could I have been here? You must’ve been tricked . I never entered Duargana . ”
“What?!!”
The imperial guard was startled . His lips trembled, as he wanted to explain something, but I knew the culprit was definitely somebody around me . The White Deer King was extremely haughty; consequently, it wouldn’t just follow anybody . There was no question it followed one of the people around me to search for me . That was why I didn’t think that it was a big deal . After all, the people around me wouldn’t harm the elves .
“Sorry! Your Highness!! I am sorry! I am so, so sorry!! I… I saw the White Deer King… so I thought it was you and let it through . They left at night, though, so it does not appear there was a problem with them . ”
“It’s all right . It’s not your fault . Normally speaking, only I would be able to ride the White Deer King, so I’m not sure who you saw, either . It was probably my wife looking for me, so it’s all right . I don’t plan to punish you or anything . Do you know where they went, though?”
“That… I do not know…”
I nodded: “All right . ”
I then turned around and entered the city . The guard followed me . He sounded as if he was trying to make up for a mistake, since he sounded worried: “Your Highness, I am very sorry about that . I shall now go and arrange for your return . ”
“No, there’s no need . ”
“What…”
“I don’t intend to stay here for too long . Queen Vyvyan hasn’t returned, has she? I’m not going to the Imperial Palace this time . I’m just going to stroll around in the city, buy some things and then leave . ”
I only wanted to see Mera’s house . Mera didn’t have a corpse . Her head, which was just a skull at that point, was still hanging on the city wall . I had no clue where her body was . It was probably buried along with all the others who died that day .
“I see… In that case… Good luck,” responded the guard, looking as though he wanted to accompany me .
I didn’t mind if he followed me; I was fine with whatever . Actually, I might not be able to move around alone so easily . It had been a long time since I visited Duargana . I hadn’t been here since visiting Lucia during her pregnancy there .
To my surprise, I felt the stone road felt foreign . Elves were fans of change; but nonetheless, some stores had changed their appearance . I stood on the street and blankly surveyed the surroundings . It was a familiar, yet distant, feeling . I could apparently see a time travel phenomenon . I could seemingly see the charming sun, Lucia and Mera over there . I could also seemingly see Mera’s long black dress and gentle eyes . My former self laughed with joy at Duargana . Yet, I had an urge to tear up when I saw the place where I once cried, laugh and played at .
Do people feel so touched when they recall their past or is it just something that you feel when you’re about to die? I still have no idea . Nevertheless, I could feel the urge to cry .
I slowly rode atop my horse into the streets . I was unwilling to walk into the streets . I wasn’t willing to walk into the crowds . That was where my memories are stored . If I enter that place, I might never be able to leave . At least, I knew I’d waste a meaningless day in my memories and regrets .
Mera’s house was located by the city doors . The neat rows of small houses there were worn out, but there was Mera’s house, which maintained its mint red . I hadn’t been back in a long time, while Mommy Vyvyan didn’t care . Fortunately, the gardeners and maids still fulfilled their task of protecting her place . I hoped Mera could still see her house . I didn’t know where she was, but I hoped she could still see her red house she resided at for countless years .
I slowly walked over and took out a key that I had never touched and was somewhat mottled . I slowly unlocked the lock . The house was empty as it originally was . Not even Mera’s scent or the scent of her perfumes remained any longer . Facing the empty house, I quietly remarked, “I’m back, Mera”
I tossed bits of wood into the fire . I watched the fire gently flicker while I was lying down to the side . Some say we think about all sorts of things at night, because it’s incomparably lonely at night . You don’t have to speak or do anything and can’t sleep, so you can’t help but begin to recall all sorts of memories . My memories were heartbreaking . The nice memories always replayed in my mind . There was always a voice in my mind begging me to return . It wanted me to go to my mom to tell her that I didn’t want to die . She would tell me I could live as long as I had the mana mark . However, I told myself I couldn’t do that . I would truly become a parasite if I did that
I suddenly heard something . I raised my head to look in the direction of the sound . There shouldn’t be anything dangerous to me in the forest . The shrubs rustled . I looked in the direction of the shrubs and picked up the long sword by the side . Although an animal shouldn’t be dangerous, it’d be dangerous if it was an elf or a human
A long ear appeared from the shrubs . It was the huge type of rabbit from this world . Perhaps it came out for a midnight snack, as it couldn’t sleep at night; it was still chewing on gra.s.s in its mouth . It was displeased with me . I had the impression it was complaining about me lighting up a fire
My gaze stopped at the rabbit’s neck for some reason . I could seemingly see the throbbing veins underneath its white fur . I could seemingly see the blood inside the veins . I had an urge to kill . I wanted to kill it . I thought, “It shouldn’t be a problem for me to leap over and suck its blood . It’s just a rabbit, after all . ”.
Supposedly noticing danger, the rabbit slowly retreated two steps and vanished into the darkness . I suddenly came to my senses after it vanished from sight . I blankly looked in the direction that the rabbit vanished . I had no idea what I just thought . I silently said in my mind, “I didn’t intend to bother with the rabbit, so why did I suddenly have an urge to suck its blood? It must be due to me sucking Mommy Vyvyan’s blood every night…”.
I didn’t have anyone to suck blood from . I, therefore, directed the thirst to the rabbit . What I really wanted wasn’t its blood, but the mana in its blood . I suddenly remembered the deer Mom sucked dry . Perhaps the same thing happened then . I could see myself gradually developing into a full-fledged dark elf
What made the Galadriel Tribe stronger than other dark elven tribes was the fact they could suppress their urge to suck mana . I couldn’t be any more ordinary as an elf in my state, so I craved blood, subsequently craving the mana of others
I didn’t want to become a parasite elf and definitely didn’t want to rely on sucking blood to live . I couldn’t accept that . That was no elf; that would a crazed, murderous demon . That was a vampire . That wasn’t the state I wanted to be in . If others had to die for me to live, I’d rather die . I was a human and an elf, not a wild beast . I didn’t need tributes or to be fed . I had an urge to suck blood just seeing a rabbit . Hence the question, would I be able to hold myself back when I see other elves, my wife, or my children in the future? At that point, choosing death was the best option for others, my family and myself
I shook my head to desperately try to throw out the thought of living on that I came to mind . I didn’t want to hear those thoughts again . I had to protect my family . I couldn’t become a dark elf who killed to survive . Mom already changed . I couldn’t change . Mom should’ve been able to control herself . If I grew addicted to blood, who’d be able to save me?.
The plan was to go to Duargana tomorrow and then Hilles City . Mera’s grave was in Duargana, where she died . I wanted to pay her a visit . I ran the sword through her with my own hands . The sensation of the sword running through her body still lingered in my mind . I can still recall the feeling of her hot blood spilling over my body . I admired Mommy Elizabeth, for she often killed and killed so many with a sword, yet she wasn’t disgusted or felt any pain as a consequence
My story in this world started when I met Mommy Vyvyan in the forest, and then returned to Duargana . I saw my first home there then left the forest as a confused and eager man . I went to the glorious and dazzling human city, Hilles City . I left a mark at the cities . I met my Lucia at Duargana and quarrelled with Nier at Hilles City . At the time, I never imagined this day would ever come . I wondered if I’d be able to see my former self
I forced myself to shut my eyes and wrapped myself up with the blank . My heart beat with excitement when I saw a living creature . It was as though it was asking me why I didn’t suck blood or, at least, kill the rabbit . No, I didn’t think it was my conscience, but purely because I could’ve taken it
Duargana was as calm as always . The people of Duaragana were completely oblivious as to what almost happened to them . Fortunately, it never happened . I didn’t ride the White Deer King for the trip; the guards recognised me, nonetheless . The elven imperial capital was bustling as always, though . They were much quieter compared to humanity, however
When I reached the border of the city door, the elven imperial guard expressed puzzlement: “Ah, Your Highness, why have you come back? Where is your White Deer King?”.
I lingered for a moment out of confusion: “I didn’t leave Mom yesterday . How could I have been here? You must’ve been tricked . I never entered Duargana . ”.
“What?!!”.
The imperial guard was startled . His lips trembled, as he wanted to explain something, but I knew the culprit was definitely somebody around me . The White Deer King was extremely haughty; consequently, it wouldn’t just follow anybody . There was no question it followed one of the people around me to search for me . That was why I didn’t think that it was a big deal . After all, the people around me wouldn’t harm the elves
“Sorry! Your Highness!! I am sorry! I am so, so sorry!! I… I saw the White Deer King… so I thought it was you and let it through . They left at night, though, so it does not appear there was a problem with them . ”.
“It’s all right . It’s not your fault . Normally speaking, only I would be able to ride the White Deer King, so I’m not sure who you saw, either . It was probably my wife looking for me, so it’s all right . I don’t plan to punish you or anything . Do you know where they went, though?”.
“That… I do not know…”.
I nodded: “All right . ”.
I then turned around and entered the city . The guard followed me . He sounded as if he was trying to make up for a mistake, since he sounded worried: “Your Highness, I am very sorry about that . I shall now go and arrange for your return . ”.
“No, there’s no need . ”.
“What…”.
“I don’t intend to stay here for too long . Queen Vyvyan hasn’t returned, has she? I’m not going to the Imperial Palace this time . I’m just going to stroll around in the city, buy some things and then leave . ”.
I only wanted to see Mera’s house . Mera didn’t have a corpse . Her head, which was just a skull at that point, was still hanging on the city wall . I had no clue where her body was . It was probably buried along with all the others who died that day
“I see… In that case… Good luck,” responded the guard, looking as though he wanted to accompany me
I didn’t mind if he followed me; I was fine with whatever . Actually, I might not be able to move around alone so easily . It had been a long time since I visited Duargana . I hadn’t been here since visiting Lucia during her pregnancy there
To my surprise, I felt the stone road felt foreign . Elves were fans of change; but nonetheless, some stores had changed their appearance . I stood on the street and blankly surveyed the surroundings . It was a familiar, yet distant, feeling . I could apparently see a time travel phenomenon . I could seemingly see the charming sun, Lucia and Mera over there . I could also seemingly see Mera’s long black dress and gentle eyes . My former self laughed with joy at Duargana . Yet, I had an urge to tear up when I saw the place where I once cried, laugh and played at
Do people feel so touched when they recall their past or is it just something that you feel when you’re about to die? I still have no idea . Nevertheless, I could feel the urge to cry
I slowly rode atop my horse into the streets . I was unwilling to walk into the streets . I wasn’t willing to walk into the crowds . That was where my memories are stored . If I enter that place, I might never be able to leave . At least, I knew I’d waste a meaningless day in my memories and regrets
Mera’s house was located by the city doors . The neat rows of small houses there were worn out, but there was Mera’s house, which maintained its mint red . I hadn’t been back in a long time, while Mommy Vyvyan didn’t care . Fortunately, the gardeners and maids still fulfilled their task of protecting her place . I hoped Mera could still see her house . I didn’t know where she was, but I hoped she could still see her red house she resided at for countless years
I slowly walked over and took out a key that I had never touched and was somewhat mottled . I slowly unlocked the lock . The house was empty as it originally was . Not even Mera’s scent or the scent of her perfumes remained any longer . Facing the empty house, I quietly remarked, “I’m back, Mera”.