Chapter 12
"What? Back already? That was strangely quick. Did you really witness the whole thing?"
"I need a drink! A strong one!!"
He opened the door and ordered a strong drink, all the while ignoring the call of his Guild Master.
Clearly, he was quite stunned as he wobbled into the room and collapsed at a table. On closer inspection, it became evident that he was shaking like a leaf.
Yes, this was not normal at all.
When his drink did arrive, he downed it in one go.
The amber-colored liquid dripped from the corners of his mouth, staining his already dusty clothes.
His behavior was rude not only towards the drink, but the others around him, but no one said anything.
There was something about him that seemed too ghastly for anyone to want to get involved in.
But, what could have happened?
What had caused the veteran Adventurer to be pushed to the brink?
And so the Guild Master took the seat on the opposite side of the table in order to ask this question.
"…What the h.e.l.l happened? Heaven-Ear Helder. Stop shaking and fulfill your duty. Report!"
And then, the examiner…Heaven-Ear Helder, kept his face downward and replied.
"I-I saw something most horrifying. It was not in the same realm as B-Rank or even Rank."
Oh, so that sullen-looking newcomer was that capable?
This surprising report gathered the attention of more eyes and ears.
"Hey-hey. Isn"t it a good thing that someone like that has joined the guild? Why are you so frightened?"
He said consolingly to Helder. But as the Guild Master, Gunnard"s mind was filled with many thoughts. Then his eyes turned towards Zanatoria, who was the only one laughing.
—Come now, I"m sure he hasn"t done anything illegal, if that"s what you"re worried about.
The man with hair the color of carrots seemed to answer as he grinned back.
"No! It"s not that! He…he…really is capable…but more than…"
Could it be that he used some dark magical art that he acquired through a contract with demons? Perhaps he has an accursed power he gained through praying to an evil G.o.d?
While Gunnard worried over this, Helder suddenly opened his eyes wide and said in a voice that seemed to echo from the depths of h.e.l.l.
"…He"s a pervert."
He"s a what?
The others had trouble understanding what he meant as well, and they mumbled to each other. Heaven-Ear Helder slammed his empty mug onto the table and then shouted as if he wanted his voice to reach the ends of the earth.
"…He"s an S-Rank pervert!!"
At that moment, all the faces froze.
—S-Rank pervert? What was that?!
While the whole room was silent, Zanatoria fell off of his chair and erupted into fits of laughter. That broke the spell.
"Aye. So you all want to know what happened? Then I"ll tell you. And you will regret ever hearing it!!"
Heaven-Ear Helder raised his mug so it could be refilled. Then he began to talk in a raspy voice.
—I thought something was strange from the very beginning.
He was supposed to be searching for a cat, and yet he started walking to the abandoned district to the west.
As you all know, cats rely on the leftovers of humans, so they wouldn"t live in a place like that.
Ahhh, he would clearly fail.
It was right when I had a.s.sured myself of this.
He suddenly stopped in the abandoned plaza and cast a spell I had never seen before… It must have been some kind of earth magic, because a strange and giant flower soon rose from the ground.
At the same time, a most horrible smell spread through the area. I couldn"t help but raise my voice as my stomach threatened to release what I had eaten recently. And while he heard me…he ignored the sound as if I were of no consequence.
Aye, he"s an arrogant b.a.s.t.a.r.d.
And then, in the next instant…
It came out.
The thing you"ve all been talking about. The Death Scorpion that has defeated so many Adventurers!
It was my mistake as well. The newcomer"s odd behavior had occupied so much of my mind that I had forgotten.
This was the place that it was known to hide.
Someone like me would be killed in an instant.
However, I was too far away from anyone to call for help.
Should I just abandon the newcomer and escape?
To be honest, there was a part of me that wanted to. But my pride forced me to stay.
However, before I could turn my resolve into action, the Death Scorpion attacked the newcomer.
This thing that was the size of a two-story building had all of the agility of a monkey!
There was no way that anyone could survive that!
And yet, he dodged the first attack as if it were nothing.
h.e.l.l, there was even an amused grin on his face.
After that, the pincers and tail followed with a storm of attacks, which he dodged effortlessly, and then…he stepped forward and touched the Death Scorpion.
It was so vulgar! Like he was caressing the breast of a woman!
But it was the side of the Death Scorpion"s stomach!!
"There-there. That"s a good kitty. How adorable. Hehe. Enjoy the last skill I learned from the previous Demon Beast King, Goromutsu. The art of "becoming friends with animals"!"
He said as he started to pet the Death Scorpions legs and back.
At this point, I could hardly understand what he was doing.
Nothing he was saying made any sense.
Besides, the Death Scorpion clearly hated it. If it had fur, it would be standing up.
"Shhhaaaa! Sha! Sha!"
It made such sounds as it could bear it no longer, and started to back away.
But…that"s when it happened. The Death Scorpion got caught on his robes.
Ahh. It happened so perfectly you"d a.s.sume it was done deliberately. The entire robe slipped cleanly off of him.
But, could you believe it? He…wasn"t wearing anything underneath!
Furthermore, he seemed to take no notice of his lack of clothing as he grabbed the Death Scorpion without hesitation.
The thing swayed impressively as the naked man clung to the unhappy Death Scorpion. I want you all to imagine it!
Hahaha. Oh, it is too late for regrets.
But at least you have it better than me. For I am an eye-witness.
Still, I could go into so much more detail if you wish?
…h.e.l.l no? Well, I expected as much.
But the fight was all but finished.
The Death Scorpion feared for its life and tried to escape, but that man quickly cast a spell that caused numerous vines to grow from the ground and catch it.
Now it could no longer escape.
The Death Scorpion quivered with fear. It no longer had the threatening aura of an Rank disaster cla.s.s monster.
As the poor Death Scorpion let out a shriek that could have only been a plea for mercy, the naked man that looked like a civil servant embraced it…
Oh, it is too traumatizing. I cannot say anymore.
But surely, you can imagine the rest?
"I"m back! Ah, it was more challenging than I expected!"
—Bam.
That"s when it happened.
While the guildhall had the kind of somber atmosphere of a funeral, the door opened loudly.
The person that appeared was Kuders. His tattered robes were wrapped embarra.s.singly around his waist.
And behind him, was a barely moving Death Scorpion.
Yes, it was alive…
"Ahhhhhh!! This man dragged a living Death Scorpion through the town!?"
Master Gunnard"s scream echoed throughout the building.
While it was weakened, it was still a disaster cla.s.s monster.
He didn"t want to imagine what kind of chaos the rest of the town was in.
But this was only the beginning of what would prove to be very eventful days.
Of course, it went without saying that the town guards had a lot of angry words for him soon after.