Old Fires and Profitable Ghosts.
by A. T. Quiller-Couch.
PREFACE
The stories in this book are of _revenants_: persons who either in spirit or in body revisit old scenes, return upon old selves or old emotions, or relate a message from a world beyond perception. "Which?"
was suggested by a pa.s.sage in Hawthorne"s Note-books, where he proposes a story or sketch the scene of which is "to be laid within the light of a street lantern; the time, when the lamp is near going out; and the catastrophe to be simultaneous with the last flickering gleam."
"The Lady of the Ship" is very nearly historical. "Prisoners of War"
rests on the actual adventures of two St. Ives men, Thomas Williams and John Short, in the years 1804-1814. "Frozen Margit" and "The Seventh Man" have--if not their originals--at least their suggestions in fact.
One of the tales, "Once Aboard the Lugger," is itself a _revenant_.
After writing it in the form here presented, I took advice and gave it another, under the t.i.tle of "Ia." Yet some whose opinion I value prefer the original, and to satisfy them (though I think them wrong) it is reprinted; not with intent to pad out the volume. But my readers are too generous to need the a.s.surance.
Q.
OCEa.n.u.s
I
My Dear Violet,--So you "gather from the tone of two or three recent letters that my spirit is creeping back to light and warmth again"?
Well, after a fashion you are right. I shall never laugh again as I used to laugh before Harry"s death. The taste has gone out of that carelessness, and I turn even from the remembrance of it. But I can be cheerful, with a cheerfulness which has found the centre of gravity.
I am myself again, as people say. After months of agitation in what seemed to be chaos the lost atom has dropped back to its place in the scheme of things, and even aspires (poor mite!) to do its infinitesimal business intelligently. So might a mote in a sunbeam feel itself at one with G.o.d!
But when you a.s.sume that my recovery has been a gradual process, you are wrong. You will think me more than ever deranged; but I a.s.sure you that it has been brought about, not by long strivings, but suddenly--without preparation of mine--_and by the immediate hand of our dead brother_.
Yes; you shall have the whole tale. The first effect of the news of Harry"s death in October last was simply to stun me. You may remember how once, years ago when we were children, we rode home together across the old Racecourse after a long day"s skating, our skates swinging at our saddle-bows; how Harry challenged us to a gallop; and how, midway, the roan mare slipped down neck over crop on the frozen turf and hurled me clean against the face of a stone d.y.k.e. I had been thrown from horseback more than once before, but somehow had always found the earth fairly elastic. So I had griefs before Harry died and took some rebound of hope from each: but that cast repeated in a worse degree the old shock--the springless brutal jar--of the stone d.y.k.e. With him the sun went out of my sky.
I understand that this torpor is quite common with men and women suddenly bereaved. I believe that a whole week pa.s.sed before my brain recovered any really vital motion; and then such feeble thought as I could exert was wholly occupied with the desperate stupidity of the whole affair. If G.o.d were indeed shaping the world to any end, if any design of His underlay the activities of men, what insensate waste to quench such a heart and brain as Harry"s!--to nip, as it seemed out of mere blundering wantonness, a bud which had begun to open so generously: to sacrifice that youth and strength, that comeliness, that enthusiasm, and all for nothing! Had some campaign claimed him, had he been spent to gain a citadel or defend a flag, I had understood. But that he should be killed on a friendly mission; attacked in ignorance by those East Coast savages while bearing gifts to their king; deserted by the porters whose comfort (on their own confession) he had studied throughout the march; left to die, to be tortured, mutilated--and all for no possible good: these things I could not understand. At the end he might have escaped; but as he caught hold of his saddle by the band between the holsters, it parted: it was not leather, but faced paper, the job of some cheating contractor. I thought of this, too. And Harry had been through Chitral!
But though a man may hate, he cannot easily despise G.o.d for long.
"He is great--but wasteful," said the American. We are the dust on His great hands, and fly as He claps them carelessly in the pauses of His work. Yet this theory would not do at all: for the unlucky particles are not dust, not refuse, but exquisite and exquisitely fashioned, designed to _live_, and to every small function of life adapted with the minutest care. There were nights indeed when, walking along the sh.o.r.e where we had walked together on the night before Harry left England and looking from the dark waters which divided me from his grave up to the nightly moon and to the stars around her, I could well believe G.o.d wasteful of little things. Sirius flashing low, Orion"s belt with the great nebula swinging like a pendant of diamonds; the ruby stars, Betelgueux and Aldebaran--my eyes went up beyond these to Perseus shepherding the Kids westward along the Milky way. From the right Andromeda flashed signals to him: and above sat Ca.s.siopeia, her mother, resting her jewelled wrists on the arms of her throne. Low in the east Jupiter trailed his satellites in the old moon"s path. As they all moved, silent, looking down on me out of the hollow s.p.a.ces of the night, I could believe no splendid waste too costly for their perfection: and the Artificer who hung them there after millions of years of patient effort, if more intelligible than a G.o.d who produced them suddenly at will, certainly not less divine. But walking the same sh.o.r.e by daylight I recognised that the sh.e.l.ls, the mosses, the flowers I trampled on, were, each in its way, as perfect as those great stars: that on these-- and on Harry--as surely as on the stars--G.o.d had spent, if not infinite pains, then at least so superlative a wisdom that to conceive of them as wastage was to deny the mind which called them forth.
There they were: and that He who had skill to create them could blunder in using them was simply incredible.
But this led to worse: for having to admit the infallible design, I now began to admire it as an exquisite scheme of evil, and to accuse G.o.d of employing supreme knowledge and skill to gratify a royal l.u.s.t of cruelty. For a month and more this horrible theory justified itself in all innocent daily sights. Throughout my country walks I "saw blood."
I heard the rabbit run squeaking before the weasel; I watched the butcher crow working steadily down the hedge. If I turned seaward I looked beneath the blue and saw the dog-fish gnawing on the whiting.
If I walked in the garden I surprised the thrush dragging worms from the turf, the cat slinking on the nest, the spider squatting in ambush.
Behind the rosy face of every well-nourished child I saw a lamb gazing up at the butcher"s knife. My dear Violet, that was a hideous time!
And just then by chance a book fell into my hands--Lamartine"s _Chute d"un Ange_. Do you know the Seventh and Tenth Visions of that poem, which describe the favourite amus.e.m.e.nts of the Men-G.o.ds? Before the Deluge, beyond the rude tents of the nomad shepherds, there rose city upon city of palaces built of jasper and porphyry, splendid and utterly corrupt; inhabited by men who called themselves G.o.ds and explored the subtleties of all sciences to minister to their vicious pleasures.
At ease on soft couches, in hanging gardens set with fountains, these beings feasted with every refinement of cruelty. Kneeling slaves were their living tables; while for their food--
Tous les oiseaux de l"air, tous les poissons de l"onde, Tout ce qui vole ou nage ou rampe dans le monde, Mourant pour leur plaisir des plus cruels trepas De sanglantes savours composent leurs repas. . . .
In these lines I believed that I discerned the very G.o.d of the universe, the G.o.d whom men worship--
Dans les infames jeux de leur divin loisir Le supplice de l"homme est leur premier plaisir.
Pour que leur oeil feroce a l"envi s"en repaisse Des bourreaux devant eux en immolent sans cesse.
Tantot ils font lutter, dans des combats affreux, L"homme contre la brute et les hommes entre eux, Aux longs ruisseaux de sang qui coulent de la veine, Aux palpitations des membres sur l"arene, Se levant a demi de leurs lits de repos Des frissons de plaisir fremissent sur leurs peaux.
Le cri de la torture est leur douce harmonie, Et leur oeil dans son oeil boit sa lente agonie.
I charged the Supreme Power with a cruelty deliberate, ruthless, serene.
Nero the tyrant once commanded a representation in grim earnest of the Flight of Icarus; and the unhappy boy who took the part, at his first attempt to fly, fell headlong beside the Emperor"s couch and spattered him with blood and brains. For the Emperor, says Suetonius, _perraro praesidere, ceterum accubans, parvis primum foraminibus, deinde toto podio adaperto, spectare consuerat_. So I believed that on the stage of this world men agonised for the delight of one cruel intelligence which watched from behind the curtain of a private box.
II
In this unhappy condition of mind, then, I was lying in my library chair here at Sevenhays, at two o"clock on the morning of January 4th. I had just finished another reading of the Tenth Vision and had tossed my book into the lap of an armchair opposite. Fire and lamp were burning brightly. The night outside was still and soundless, with a touch of frost.
I lay there, retracing in thought the circ.u.mstances of Harry"s last parting from me, and repeating to myself a sc.r.a.p here and there from the three letters he wrote on his way--the last of them, full of high spirits, received a full three weeks after the telegram which announced his death. There was a pa.s.sage in this last letter describing a wonderful ride he had taken alone and by moonlight on the desert; a ride (he protested) which wanted nothing of perfect happiness but me, his friend, riding beside him to share his wonder. There was a sentence which I could not recall precisely, and I left my chair and was crossing the room towards the drawer in the writing-table where I kept his letters, when I heard a trampling of hoofs on the gravel outside, and then my Christian name called--with distinctness, but not at all loudly.
I went to the window, which was unshuttered; drew up the blind and flung up the sash. The moon, in its third quarter and about an hour short of its meridian, shone over the deodars upon the white gravel. And there, before the front door, sat Harry on his sorrel mare Vivandiere, holding my own Grey Sultan ready bridled and saddled. He was dressed in his old khaki riding suit, and his face, as he sat askew in his saddle and looked up towards my window, wore its habitual and happy smile.
Now, call this and what follows a dream, vision, hallucination, what you will; but understand, please, that from the first moment, so far as I considered the matter at all, I had never the least illusion that this was Harry in flesh and blood. I knew quite well all the while that Harry was dead and his body in his grave. But, soul or phantom-- whatever relation to Harry this might bear--it had come to me, and the great joy of that was enough for the time. There let us leave the question. I closed the window, went upstairs to my dressing-room, drew on my riding-boots and overcoat, found cap, gloves, and riding-crop, and descended to the porch.
Harry, as I shall call him, was still waiting there on the off side of Grey Sultan, the farther side from the door. There could be no doubt, at any rate, that the grey was real horseflesh and blood, though he seemed unusually quiet after two days in stall. Harry freed him as I mounted, and we set off together at a walk, which we kept as far as the gate.
Outside we took the westward road, and our horses broke into a trot.
As yet we had not exchanged a word; but now he asked a question or two about his people and his friends; kindly, yet most casually, as one might who returns after a week"s holidaying. I answered as well as I could, with trivial news of their health. His mother had borne the winter better than usual--to be sure, there had been as yet no cold weather to speak of; but she and Ethel intended, I believed, to start for the south of France early in February. He inquired about you.
His comments were such as a man makes on hearing just what he expects to hear, or knows beforehand. And for some time it seemed to be tacitly taken for granted between us that I should ask him no questions.
"As for me--" I began, after a while.
He checked the mare"s pace a little. "I know," he said, looking straight ahead between her ears; then, after a pause, "it has been a bad time for you, You are in a bad way altogether. That is why I came."
"But it was for _you!_" I blurted out. "Harry, if only I had known why _you_ were taken--and what it was to _you!_"
He turned his face to me with the old confident comforting smile.
"Don"t you trouble about _that. That"s_ nothing to make a fuss about.
Death?" he went on musing--our horses had fallen to a walk again-- "It looks you in the face a moment: you put out your hands: you touch-- and so it is gone. My dear boy, it isn"t for us that you need worry."
"For whom, then?"
"Come," said he, and he shook Vivandiere into a canter.
III
I cannot remember precisely at what point in our ride the country had ceased to be familiar. But by-and-by we were climbing the lower slopes of a great down which bore no resemblance to the pastoral country around Sevenhays. We had left the beaten road for short turf--apparently of a copper-brown hue, but this may have been the effect of the moonlight.
The ground rose steadily, but with an easy inclination, and we climbed with the wind at our backs; climbed, as it seemed, for an hour, or maybe two, at a footpace, keeping silence. The happiness of having Harry beside me took away all desire for speech.
This at least was my state of mind as we mounted the long lower slopes of the down. But in time the air, hitherto so exhilarating, began to oppress my lungs, and the tranquil happiness to give way to a vague discomfort and apprehension.