_Lady Eth._ Ever since you afforded him the means of purchasing it.
_Adm._ I said many years, long before my name was added to the baronetage.
_Lady Eth._ Well, Admiral, it may be the case; but still there is no excuse for your folly: and mark me, Sir Gilbert, I will not have that pert minx, Lucy Bargrove, closeted with my daughter Agnes. As to the boy, it is a downright puppy and fool, or, to speak less plebeianly, is a _non composite mentus_.
_Adm._ Peter is not clever, but, without education, he would have been worse. It is not our fault if we are not blessed with talent. Lucy has wit enough for both.
_Lady Eth._ Lucy again! I declare, Admiral, my nerves are lacerated; or, to descend to your meanness of expression, it is quite shocking in a person of your age to become so infatuated with an artful hussy. Now, Sir Gilbert, am I to be protected, or am I to submit to insult? Is that sea-brute to remain, or am I to quit the house?
_Adm._ (_Aside._) I should prefer the latter. (_Aloud._) Why, my lady, if he must go----
_Lady Eth._ Must go? (_rings the bell_). Yes, Sir Gilbert, and with a proper lecture from you.
_Enter William; Lady Etheridge sits down with a wave of her hand._
_Lady Eth._ Now, Admiral.
_Adm._ William, you--you ought to be ashamed of yourself, getting half-seas over, and behaving in that manner--but--to be sure, I sent you the ale.
_Will._ Yes, your honour, famous stuff it was!
_Lady Eth._ Sir Gilbert!
_Adm._ And that"s no excuse. I did not tell you to get drunk, and the consequence is, that that, without a proper apology----
_Will._ Beg your pardon, Admiral, and yours too, my lady.
_Lady Eth._ Sir Gilbert!
_Adm._ The fact is, that without the apology, in one word, you, you (_looking round at Lady Etheridge_) must take warning, sir, you leave this house, sir.
_Will._ Leave, yer honour, arter twenty-five years" sarvitude!
_Lady Eth._ Sir Gilbert!
_Adm._ Yes, sir, leave the house--damme!
_Will._ If yer honour hadn"t given the ale, I shouldn"t have got into trouble.
_Lady Eth._ (_Rising, and as she is leaving the room_). Sir Gilbert, I am glad to perceive that you have a proper respect for me and for yourself. [_Exit._
_Adm._ William, William, you must be aware that I cannot permit you to remain, when Lady Etheridge is displeased with you.
_Will._ First offence, yer honour.
_Adm._ But, however, I"ll try and get you another place, as your general conduct has been correct.
_Will._ Thank you. I little thought, that after twenty-five years"
sarvitude (_wipes his eyes_). I can always get a ship, Admiral.
_Adm._ Why, yes, and I only wish that I had one, in which to give you a good rating, my good fellow; but William, you must be aware----
_Will._ Yes, yer honour, I see how the cat jumps.
_Adm._ What do you mean?
_Will._ I sees that yer honour is no longer in command of your own ship.
_Adm._ You scoundrel! What do you mean?
_Will._ Lord, Sir Gilbert, we all knows how the matter be, and as how you can"t call your soul your own. It warn"t so in the _Menelaus_, when your little finger was enough to make every man jump out of his shoes.
You _were_ a bit of a tartar, that"s sartin,--and, now you"ve cotched a tartar.
_Adm._ You insolent scoundrel!
_Will._ Your honour arn"t angry, I hope, but we all pities ye, we do indeed!
_Adm._ Unbearable!
_Will._ And we says in the servants" hall--and we be all agreed _there_--that you be the kindest master in the world--but, that as for my lady----
_Adm._ Silence, sir; what insolence is this? Out of the room immediately; now, if I had you on board, you scoundrel, I"d give you as good a four dozen as ever a fellow had in his life. I was just going to pension the blackguard, now I"ll see him hanged first.
(_The Admiral walks up and down the room in a rage, William still remains behind._)
Well, well, even my servants laugh at, pity me. Here I am, cooled down into the quietest man in the world, yet obliged to put myself in a pa.s.sion whenever my wife pleases. It is very hard to lose my temper and my character at her bidding; but if I don"t she would put herself into such a rage with me, that I should be even worse off;--of the two evils I must choose the least; but in falling in love, I was a great fool, and that"s the truth.
_Will._ So you was, Admiral, that"s sartin.
[_The Admiral runs at him with a stick. William runs off._
_Adm._ Scoundrel! Well, it is the truth.
_Enter Lady Etheridge, O.P._
_Lady Eth._ What is the truth, Sir Gilbert?
_Adm._ Truth, my lady? why, that when a man"s intoxicated, he commits great folly.
_Lady Eth._ Yes, and ought to be punished for it.
_Adm._ (_Aside._) I am sure that I have been.
_Enter Agnes, who runs up and kisses her father._
_Adm._ Well, Agnes, my little clipper, where are you going this morning?
_Agnes._ Down to the homestead, papa, with Lucy Bargrove.