I was speechless with the grandeur of it all.
"It is sublime," said I. "How many volumes?"
"Unnumbered, and unnumberable by mortals, but in round, immortal figures just one jovillion."
"One jovillion, eh?" said I. "How many is that in mortal figures?"
"A jovillion is the supreme number," explained the guide. "It is the infinity of millions, and therefore cannot be expressed in mortal terms."
"Then," said I, "you can have no more books."
"No," said he. "But what of that? We have all there are and all that are to be. You see, the library is divided into three parts. On the right-hand side are all the books that ever have been written; here to the left you see all the books that are being written; and farther along, beginning where that staircase rises, are all the books that ever will be written."
I gasped. If this were true, this wonderful collection must contain my own complete works, some of which I have doubtless not even thought of as yet. How easy it would be for me, I thought, to write my future books if Jupiter would only let me loose here with a competent stenographer to copy off the pages of ma.n.u.script as yet undreamed of!
I suggested this to the Major Domo.
"He wouldn"t let you," he said. "It would throw the whole scheme out of gear."
"I don"t see why," I ventured.
"It is simple," rejoined the Major Domo. "If you were permitted to read the books that some day will be identified with your name, as a sensible man, observing beforehand how futile and trivial they are to be, some of them, you wouldn"t write them, and so you would be able to avoid a part, at least, of your destiny. If mortals were able to do that--well, they"d become immortals, a good many of them."
I realized the justice of this precaution, and we pa.s.sed on in silence.
"Now," said the Major Domo, after we had traversed the length of the library, "we are almost there. That gorgeous door directly ahead of you is the entrance to Jupiter"s reception-room. Before we enter, however, we must step into the office of Midas, on the left."
"Midas?" I said. "And what, pray, is his function? Is he the registrar?"
"No, indeed," laughed the Major Domo. "I presume down where you live he would be called the Court Tailor. The sartorial requirements of Jupiter are so regal that none of his guests, invited or otherwise, could afford, even with the riches of Cr[oe]sus, to purchase the apparel which he demands. Hence he keeps Midas here to supply, at his expense, the garments in which his visitors may appear before him. You didn"t think you were going into Jupiter"s presence in those golf duds, did you?"
"I never thought anything about it," said I. "But how long will it take Midas to fit me out?"
"He touches your garments, that"s all," said my guide, "and in that instant they are changed to robes of richest gold. We then place a necklace of gems about your neck, composed of rubies, emeralds, amethysts, and sapphires, alternating with pearls, none smaller than a hen"s egg; next we place a jewelled staff of ebony in your hand; a golden helmet, having at either side the burnished wings of the imperial eagles of Jove, and bearing upon its crest an opal that glistens like the sun through the slight haze of a translucent cloud, will be placed upon your head; richly decorated sandals of cloth of gold will adorn your feet, and about your waist a girdle of linked diamonds--beside which the far-famed Orloff diamond of the Russian treasury is an insignificant bit of gla.s.s--will be clasped."
"And--wha--wha--what becomes of all this when I get back home?" I gasped, a vision of future ease rising before my tired eyes.
"You take it with you, if you can," laughed the Major Domo, with a sly wink at one of the Amazons who accompanied him as a sort of aide.
It was all as he said. In two minutes I had entered the room of Midas; in three minutes, my golf-coat having been removed, a flowing gown of silk, touched by his magic hand and turned to glittering gold, rested upon my shoulders. It was pretty heavy, but I bore up under it; the helmet and the necklace, the shoes and the girdle were adjusted; the staff was placed in my hand, and with beating heart I emerged once more into the corridor and stood before the door leading into the audience-chamber.
"Remove the goggles," whispered the Major Domo.
"Never!" I cried. "I shall be blinded."
"Nonsense!" said he, quickly. "Off with them," and he flicked them from my nose himself.
A great blare of trumpets sounded, the door was thrown wide, and with a cry of amazement I stepped backward, awed and afraid; but one glance was rea.s.suring, for truly a wonderful sight confronted me, and one that will prove as surprising to him who reads as it was to me upon that marvellous day.
X
An Extraordinary Interview
I had expected to witness a scene of grandeur, and my fancy had conjured up, as the central figure thereof, the majestic form of Jove himself, clad in imperial splendor. But it was the unexpected that happened, for, as the door closed behind me, I found myself in a plain sort of workshop, such as an ordinary man would have in his own house, at one end of which stood a rolling-top desk, and, instead of the dazzling throne I had expected to see, there stood in front of it an ordinary office-chair that twirled on a pivot. Books and papers were strewn about the floor and upon the tables; the pictures on the walls were made up largely of colored sporting prints of some rarity, and in a corner stood a commonplace globe such as is to be found in use in public schools to teach children geography. As I glanced about me my first impression was that by some odd mischance I had got into the wrong room, which idea was fortified by the fact that, instead of an imperial figure clad in splendid robes, a quiet-looking old gentleman, who, except for his dress, might have posed for a cartoon of the accepted American Populist, stood before me. He was dressed in a plain frock-coat, four-in-hand tie, high collar, dark-gray trousers, and patent-leather boots, and was brushing up a silk hat as I entered.
"Excuse me, sir," I said, "but I--I fear I have stumbled into the wrong room. I--ah--I have had the wholly unexpected honor to be granted an audience with Jupiter, and I was told that this was the audience-chamber."
"Don"t apologize. Sit down," he replied, taking me by the hand and shaking it cordially. "You are all right; I"m glad to see you. How goes the world with you?"
"Very well indeed, sir," I replied, rather embarra.s.sed by the old fellow"s cordiality. "But I really can"t sit down, because, you know, I--I don"t want to keep his Majesty waiting, and if you"ll excuse me, I"ll--"
"Oh, nonsense!" he retorted. "Let the old man wait. Sit down and talk to me. I don"t get a chance to talk with mortals very often. This is your first visit to Olympus?"
"Yes, sir," I said, still standing. "And it is wholly unexpected. I stumbled upon the place by the merest chance last night--but you _must_ let me go, sir. I"ll come back later very gladly and talk with you if I get a chance. It will never do for me to keep his Majesty waiting, you know."
"Oh, the deuce with his Majesty," said the old gentleman, testily.
"What do you want to see him for? He"s an old fossil."
"Granted," said I. "Still, I"m interested in old fossils."
The old gentleman roared with laughter at this apparently simple remark. I didn"t see the fun of it myself, and his mirth irritated me.
"Excuse me, my dear sir," I said, trying to control my impatience.
"But you don"t seem to understand my position. I can"t stay here and talk to you while the ruler of Olympus waits. Can"t you see that?"
"No, I can"t," he replied. "Can"t see it at all, and I"m a pretty good seer as a general thing, too. If you didn"t wish to see me, you had no business to come into my room. Now that you are here, I"m going to keep you for a little while. Take off that absurd-looking tile and sit down."
At this I grew angry. I wasn"t responsible for the helmet I wore, and I had felt all along that I looked like an a.s.s in it.
"I"ll do nothing of the sort, you confounded old meddler," I cried.
"I"ve come here on invitation, and, if I"ve got into the wrong room, it isn"t my fault. That jacka.s.s of a Major Domo told me this was the place. Let me out."
I strode to the doorway, and the old gentleman turned to his desk and opened a drawer.
"Cigar or cigarette?" he said, calmly.
"Neither, you old fool," I retorted, turning the k.n.o.b and tugging upon it. "I have no time for a smoke."
The door was locked. The old gentleman settled back in his twirling chair and regarded me with a twinkle in his eye as I vainly tried to pull the door open, and I realized that I was helpless.
"Better sit down and enjoy a quiet smoke with me," he said, calmly.
"Take off that absurd-looking tile and talk to me."
"I haven"t anything to say to you," I replied. "Not a word. Do you intend to let me out of this or not?"