Liz took the dress off and put it back on the hanger before sliding back into her jeans and sweater. She was in and out of there in no time at all, but when she walked back out, Victoria was still in her dress.
"But really . . . you"re not going to tell me?"
"It doesn"t matter."
"Um . . . it does."
"Let"s just go," Liz said, placing the dress on the return rack and folding her arms over her chest.
"You have been beating yourself up about this since October, and you"re not going to even talk about it with me now?" Victoria asked. She actually looked hurt.
Liz ran her hands over her face and tried to decide what to do. She had already confessed to Victoria, and her friend wasn"t judging her. In fact, the only thing she seemed perturbed about at all was the fact that Liz hadn"t told her sooner. Maybe she could trust Victoria.
It would be so nice to have someone to talk to about this. It wasn"t as if Brady were ever coming back into her life. The secret wasn"t even that important anymore. It was just something she had always kept at this point. But really, who was Victoria going to tell? Certainly not Hayden, and anyone she and Brady had been concerned about was long out of the picture.
"So . . . you remember last summer, not this past year but the year before that, how I told you I was seeing someone?" Liz offered.
"Yeah," Victoria said eagerly.
"I called him that night Hayden and I argued. He picked me up and we went to his condo. We made out. I freaked out and he brought me home."
"Holy s.h.i.t! You"re sneaky." Victoria jumped from one foot to the other. "This is so exciting! I"m usually the dirty one."
Liz couldn"t help but laugh. What else could she do?
"How could you call him, go to his condo, and kiss, but not f.u.c.k? I"m astonished at your self-control!"
"I wanted to, but it didn"t feel right. It"s complicated," Liz told her.
"Um . . . it"s not complicated. You insert his d.i.c.k inside-"
"Whoa!" Liz said, holding her hand up. "You don"t have to give away Victoria"s secret."
"Oh, ha ha! You"re so f.u.c.king original." Victoria rolled her eyes. "So seriously, who is the guy?"
Liz sighed heavily. She couldn"t tell. She just couldn"t. Especially not out in public.
"Can we talk about this somewhere more private?" Liz pleaded.
Victoria clapped her hands together and dashed into the dressing room. A few minutes later, she had all of the dresses hanging haphazardly on the rack, with her selection and Liz"s black beaded dress in her hand. She paid for both through Liz"s protests and then quickly hurried Liz out of the boutique.
"Okay," Victoria said when they were finally seated in her car.
"Let"s go home. It"s probably safer," Liz said ominously. She didn"t trust Victoria not to drive them into a telephone pole.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
Liz swallowed, her throat constricting the closer they got to home. She was warring with herself on what she could and couldn"t tell Victoria. She desperately wanted to confide in someone. It was making her crazy. She had held this in for a year and a half and she didn"t want to have to hide anymore. She didn"t want to reveal it to the entire populace or anything. In fact, that was the last thing she wanted.
She still valued Brady"s career and would do everything in her power to keep their relationship from hurting him. That was the reason she had left in the first place. If she didn"t believe in that, then she never would have left.
Victoria pulled into their driveway twenty minutes later and practically skipped to the front door. At least someone was enjoying this.
Once Liz was inside, she took a seat on the couch and tucked her feet up underneath her. While Victoria sat in the chair across from her, bouncing with antic.i.p.ation, Liz picked at her nails. She didn"t even know where to begin or what to say. Maybe she shouldn"t say anything.
But the one thing she had learned about the entire situation was that secrets were heavy. Mentally, physically, emotionally-they exhausted her. And she had quite the secret tucked away in her heart.
"Well . . . we"re home and it"s safe," Victoria offered. "I"m literally dying over here. I"ve been curious about this guy since you first told me about him, and to think you saw him in October."
"It"s really not something to be excited about. There"s a reason I"ve been keeping it all secret," Liz explained.
"I remember you saying that he asked you to keep it secret. Still s.h.i.tty to me, if I do say so."
Liz breathed out heavily. "I know why you think that, but it"s a necessary precaution. I just want you to promise me that you"re not going to tell anyone about this. I"m already kind of freaked out. I mean, I think I should tell Hayden about what happened, but G.o.d, I don"t even know how to do that. I don"t want him to hate me."
"He"s not going to hate you."
"You don"t know that."
Victoria rolled her eyes. "I do too. He"s crazy about you."
"Maybe. So, do you promise?"
"Of course, who am I going to tell?"
"Absolutely no one," Liz said, trying to drill it into her head.
"Right. I promise not to say anything. I can"t see how it"s that big a deal though," Victoria said dismissively.
Liz took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. She didn"t have any idea how to start, so she just blurted it out: "Brady Maxwell."
Victoria sat very still for a second. Her eyes were glued to Liz, but didn"t give anything away. Then slowly the name seemed to sink in and her eyes gradually grew in size. Her mouth dropped open slightly and she stopped bouncing.
"Wait . . . like Brady Maxwell, Brady Maxwell? Like the congressman you interviewed?" Victoria asked.
"Um . . . yeah," Liz whispered. She felt as if she could breathe properly for the first time in a long while. She had been carrying that secret around for so long. She hadn"t known she would feel so relieved now that it was out.
"Whoa!" Victoria said, falling back into her chair. "You were banging a congressman. Is he married?"
"No. He"s not," Liz said tensely.
"I just . . . wow. You were right. I wasn"t expecting that at all. I definitely thought you were going to tell me one of Hayden"s friends or something and that"s why it was a big secret. I never in a million years would have guessed you were f.u.c.king that hot specimen." She was clearly shocked, because Victoria didn"t ramble. "Is he good in bed?"
Liz laughed softly. "Um . . . yeah. Very good."
"So wait . . . a sitting congressman picked you up from the newspaper, took you to his condo, and you didn"t f.u.c.k him?" Victoria asked, slapping her hands on the armrests. "Are you out of your mind? Are you not attracted to power? Why did it end? What happened last summer? Gah, give me details! I need to know."
Tears sprang to Liz"s eyes again without warning. She pushed her palms into her eyes to stop them. "You don"t understand," she murmured. "I was a liability to the campaign. I"d written negative stuff about him and they already weren"t sure he was going to win. He only won by a slim margin as it was, and if anyone found out we were together, he wouldn"t have. Any small slipup had the potential to ruin him."
"So he broke it off? They forced you out?" Victoria whispered. "b.a.s.t.a.r.d!"
"No," Liz said, shaking her head. Victoria hopped off the chair and plopped down into the seat next to her. "I left."
"You left? But why?"
"I didn"t think he"d choose me over the campaign and I didn"t want him to. I believe in him and I wanted him to pursue his dreams, but after I saw him, he told me that he was as much of a wreck as I was after the split," Liz said, her hands shaking as she finally spilled everything to her best friend.
"Oh my G.o.d, then go to him!"
"It"s complicated. He"s dating someone. I"m with Hayden. Brady closed that door, Vic. He told me that he didn"t even want to be a memory to me anymore. I hurt him past the point of recovery and I was too much of a coward to tell Hayden. And ever since I"ve just felt like complete and total s.h.i.t."
"Oh, Liz," Victoria said with a sigh. "I really don"t know what to tell you. If you feel like you were in the wrong-which, trust me, I don"t think you were-then maybe you should tell Hayden."
"You think?"
She couldn"t do it. It hurt too much. He would leave her. But maybe she deserved it. Maybe the truth would set her free. Maybe it would lift the weight off her chest.
"What"s the worst that could happen?" Victoria asked.
"He would leave me."
"And considering you were making out with a politician a couple months ago, that might not be that bad."
Chapter 20.
THE BANQUET.
Is that your politician?" Victoria asked, coming out of her bedroom dressed to the nines for the banquet tonight. Liz couldn"t believe the first month of her last semester had already pa.s.sed so quickly.
Liz stared at the screen where Brady stood in front of a podium in a three-piece black suit. He looked gorgeous. "Yeah, that"s him."
"He"s so smoking hot."
"Mmm . . ."
"What"s he talking about?" Victoria asked after a minute.
"He"s running for reelection. It"s not a surprise," Liz told her. "Everyone knew that he would. He"s into it for life."
"You make it sound like a prison sentence."
Sometimes Liz thought it was.
"Do you think he"ll win? Is he going to come to campus? Are you going to see him?" Victoria prodded.
Ever since Liz had told Victoria about Brady it had been this way. Liz wasn"t sure if Victoria was more excited that Liz had done something completely out of character or because it was something that maybe even topped her crazy stories. But as much of a relief as it was to finally have told someone about what had happened, it was wearing on Liz"s nerves having to talk about Brady every day. She had been trying not to think about him for over a year. This wasn"t helping.
"Yes, I think he"ll win. I have no idea if he will come to campus. And no," Liz said in a sad, frustrated tone, "I won"t see him."
Victoria shrugged. "Can"t hurt anything if you did."
"Oh, yes, it could," Liz murmured.
"Nothing besides your v.a.g.i.n.a."
Liz rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "I"m not going to sleep with him."
"Not with that att.i.tude."
"Boyfriend," Liz reminded her.
"Details."
"Pretty important details," Liz said, standing up and running her hands back through the tresses she had expertly put curls into. She had completed her hair and makeup for the Morehead scholarship banquet thirty minutes ago, but she wasn"t ready to slip into her dress until right before they had to leave. "Especially considering that detail is about to walk through our front door."
"Are you going to tell him?" Victoria asked.
"I haven"t decided," Liz said, her stomach dipping uncomfortably. She hated hiding it from Hayden, but telling him about Brady made her even more anxious. "Just don"t say anything, okay?"
"I"m sworn to secrecy."
"Good," Liz said over her shoulder as she walked into her bedroom.
She stripped out of her lounge clothes and tugged the boutique dress off of the hanger. She stepped into the dress and pulled the zipper into place. Strapping on silver glitter high heels, she looked herself over in the mirror once. Her hand moved to her neck and she sighed.
She wasn"t looking forward to her decision tonight. Should she tell Hayden? Her hand reached for the jewelry box on her dresser, and she gingerly removed Brady"s necklace from within. She walked across the room and took a seat on her bed. G.o.d, too many questions, and not enough answers.
She was still wavering with indecision when she heard a knock on the front door. "Liz!" Victoria called. "Get your a.s.s out here."
Liz set the necklace on her nightstand before walking back down the hall. Liz stopped where she was standing when she saw the guy Victoria was currently attached to. Liz cleared her throat softly and Victoria broke the lip-lock.
"Oh! Daniel, this is my roommate, Liz," Victoria said as introduction.
Liz raised her eyebrows at Victoria. She hadn"t mentioned that she was even still talking to Duke Fan, let alone that he was going to be coming to the banquet with them tonight.
"So nice to finally meet you," Daniel said, walking forward and extending his hand.
"The ill.u.s.trious Duke Fan," Liz said, taking his hand in hers and shaking.